help Archives - Inside Chappaqua and Inside Armonk: The Magazines for New and North Castle

Helping Children in their Hour of Need

December 2, 2018 by Shauna Levy

An oftentimes overlooked portion of the population exists mere miles away from the borders of Armonk. The Bedford Hills Correctional Facility is a maximum security prison that houses approximately 1,000 adult females. Armonk resident Joscelyn Read is working alongside organizations such as Hour Children to enhance the quality of life for the mothers within these walls and the children they’ve left beyond the bars.

Building Bridges Through Bars

Hour Children works to nurture relationships between incarcerated mothers and their children with the belief that a strong family connection maximizes a child’s stability and a woman’s chances of success upon reentry. The organization’s mission immediately resonated with Read, who acknowledges that it doesn’t always elicit that reaction, saying, “It’s a population that people don’t want to think about. They assume the prisoners did something bad and should be there. But, in truth, having met these women, many are lovely. They are human beings who often feel terrible about their actions. With a twist of fate, anyone could be in their position. I believe in second chances.”

Describing herself as someone who “likes to get in the thick of things,” Read makes good on those words by regularly opening the doors of her home to the children of women within the confines of Bedford Correctional. “I can’t imagine anything more difficult than having a parent in prison. For the past year and a half, I host two sisters four times a year for three to four nights while they visit their mom in prison from 9 a.m. to 3 p.m.,” she explains. “It’s the only way for them to keep the connection with their mother alive. Beyond that, I get the opportunity to be a positive influence in their lives and it gives their guardian, in this case the maternal grandmother, a break during which they know the children are in a safe place.”

The Innocence of Children

Of her role, Read says, “The biggest question I get is whether I feel nervous about having these kids in my house. People would be surprised that despite the stark socioeconomic differences, these girls are just like every other kid. They love playing with Legos, watching Nickelodeon and going to the movies. They’re innocents. What sets them apart is their strength. To travel by van six hours or more to see your mom while staying at a stranger’s home is the definition of bravery.”

The sisters aren’t the only children benefitting from the experience. “My children, ages seven and eight, see the girls as friends and love when they visit,” Read says. “They’ve also learned that there are children who don’t have the material possessions and support system that they have. This past summer, we even picked the girls up for their visit early so that they could join us at Hershey Park. We are teaching that kindness is not the exception –it’s the expectation.”

“The biggest question I get is whether I feel nervous about having these kids in my house. People would be surprised that despite the stark socioeconomic differences, these girls are just like every other kid. They love playing with Legos, watching Nickelodeon and going to the movies. They’re innocents. What sets them apart is their strength. To travel by van six hours or more to see your mom while staying at a stranger’s home is the definition of bravery.” – Joscelyn Read

Though the Read family strives to fill these visits with fun and laughter, the true purpose is never far from the peripheral. “There’s excitement to see their mother, but also a sadness as reality hits that they haven’t seen her in three to four months. They cry thinking about continuing this pattern for another four years as she serves her sentence. The last day is always the most emotional. They want to keep seeing their mom and they like staying at my house where they not only have their own beds, but their own rooms as well–luxuries they don’t have at home,” Read states.

Paying It Forward

The statistics for the children of Hour Children are grim. Read reports that children whose mothers are in prison have a much lower college rate versus those whose fathers are in prison. She hopes to crack a dent in that rate, saying, “These girls have to go to college. I love to mentor because I know firsthand how strong an impact it can have on a child’s future. Growing up, I was a little sister in the Big Brothers, Big Sisters program. My mom wasn’t stable and my “big sister” was so important. We would do little activities like make dinner or go bowling. Just having someone show interest in my life was huge and formative. I will absolutely stay in touch with these girls beyond their time in the program. I will be there to make sure they keep their lives on track. I’m paying it forward.”

To find out more about the organization, visit www.hourchildren.org.

Feeding Westchester Celebrates 30th Anniversary

December 2, 2018 by Stacey Pfeffer

& Launches Mobile Food Pantry in Partnership with Pace University This Fall

It’s been a busy fall for Elmsford-based nonprofit Feeding Westchester (formerly known as the Food Bank for Westchester). The non-profit just celebrated 30 years with their fundraiser “An Evening in Good Taste” this past October. The event featured cocktails and cuisine from more than 30 Westchester-based chefs including local favorite Beau Widener, the Executive Chef at Crabtree’s Kittle House Restaurant & Inn.

Beau Widener Executive Chef at Crabtree Kittle House Restaurant and Inn and staff delight fundraiser attendees with their delicacies at “An Evening In Good Taste” Photo by Stacey Pfeffer

This fall also saw the introduction of a new Mobile Food Pantry in partnership with Pace University. Pace President Marvin Krislov attended the first mobile food pantry event on September 27 and spoke with student volunteers who participated by passing out produce to students and local residents.

Noelani Rivera, a first-year student at Pace said, “It was a really great experience to be able to help others, especially people so closely tied to our community.”

Tyler Kalahar, program coordinator at Pace’s Center for Community Action and Research in the Dyson College of Arts and Sciences, said the new mobile food pantry was in keeping with Pace University ‘s position as a leader in economic mobility in higher education. “Addressing hunger with the mobile food pantry program is simply another way to give students, particularly our first generation and students from low-income families, the resources they need to succeed in college,” Kalaher explained.

The mobile pantry visited the Pace campus on Halloween and November 27th. The next visit is scheduled for December 13th from 12:30-2:30 p.m. The program hopes to provide nourishing, stigma-free food in a location that is accessible to both students and the wider Westchester community.

The mobile food pantry is located at Pace University, 861 Bedford Road, Pleasantville, entrance 3, North Hall parking lot.

(L-R): Cornell Craig (Assistant Dean and Director, Multicultural Affairs and Diversity Programs at Pace), Zikomo Barr (Coordinator, Leadership Programs at Pace), Olivia Wint (Pace student volunteer), Natalie Holguin (Pace student volunteer), Marvin Krislov (Pace President), Tyler Kalahar (Program Coordinator, Center for Community Action and Research at Pace), Nicole Dobson (Feeding Westchester), Noelani Rivera (Pace student volunteer)
PHOTO COURTESY OF FEEDING WESTCHESTER

The Power of Feeding Westchester

1 in 5 Westchester residents do not know where their next meal is from.

Feeding Westchester provided:

8.4 million lbs of food = 7 million meals
2.2 million lbs of food provided to nearly 200,000 people through mobile food programs
Distributed over 432,000 lbs of food to over 3,000 seniors through their Senior Grocery Program
Grew local produce at 13 farm sites through their Food Growing Program
Partnered with more than 290 agencies across Westchester to feed the hungry

Source: Feeding Westchester 2017 Annual Report

Sad Outcome Follows Bet Torah’s Rally To Bring Home Armando Rojas

November 24, 2018 by Debra Hand

Photos by Joanna Segal

For over 20 years, a smiling face, a helping hand, a high-five for preschoolers. Kind, sweet, friendly, and unassuming. And then, simply for being in the wrong place at the wrong time, he was gone.

On November 16, the Bet Torah community received the heartbreaking and devastating news that their longtime and beloved custodian Armando Rojas lost his final appeal for asylum with his case returned to the Department of Homeland Security “for removal of the alien.” As Rabbi Aaron Brusso stated in his email to the congregation, “Armando Rojas is father of Ulises and Armando Jr. He is husband to Silvia. He is a member of our synagogue family. He is a human being with hopes, dreams, loves and a track record of gentleness and kindness. What he isn’t is an ‘alien.’”

On the evening of October 16, in advance of his final asylum hearing, the Bet Torah and local communities gathered on the synagogue steps in Mount Kisco to rally in support of Armando, suddenly deported earlier this year following a mistaken arrest. Preschoolers to retirees, as well as local clergy, community leaders, and Armando’s sons Armando Jr. (26) and Ulises (15), spoke of Armando’s contributions, presence and being part of the Bet Torah family, which sang, with love, “Bring Armando Home.”

A New Home, A New Life

Armando entered the United States from Mexico over 30 years ago at the age of 18, crossing without inspection, to escape dangerous circumstances and gang violence and seek a better, safer life, according to Rabbi Brusso. With little Immigration and Naturalization Service interior enforcement at that time, he was permitted to apply for and receive a social security number. Armando was hired as a custodian by Bet Torah, where he worked for over two decades, becoming more than a valued employee; he was a member of the synagogue family, knowing almost every member–certainly every child–by name.

Armando had also married an American citizen and had two sons, creating a life in the New York suburbs, reporting to work–sometimes seemingly seven days a week – and dutifully paying taxes and social security. In other words, a model “citizen” and role model for not only his own sons, but for the young children of Bet Torah whose paths he crossed daily.

In February 2018, Armando was celebrating with family at a Westchester restaurant when a fight broke out nearby and the police called. Likely because of his ethnicity, he was arrested along with others; Armando was quickly exonerated and released, but the arrest record was forwarded to Immigration and Customs Enforcement (“ICE”), which identified him as a fugitive for not appearing at an immigration hearing over 25 years ago. Armando was detained without notice and promptly dropped over the Mexican border without identification, money or a cell phone, despite a superseding stay of deportation. He made his way to family in Mexico City, but once there received threatening phone calls from groups responsible for murdering family members long ago.

A Roller Coaster of Emotion

The Bet Torah staff and congregation quickly sprung into action to facilitate Armando’s return. Qualified immigration counsel was retained, a GoFundMe has raised over $40,000 to date, and his wife, sons and new grandson were assured that they would be supported throughout the efforts to have Armando granted asylum on the basis of “credible fear” upon deportation and brought home.

In June, Rabbi Brusso, together with Armando Jr. and congregants Linda Dishner and Mike Kraus, flew to Mexico and escorted Armando to the U.S. border to request asylum; a video (see link below) of the walk to the checkpoint, along with interviews of Armando, his son and the rabbi, was shared widely on social media and via Rabbi Brusso’s moving article in The Forward. Armando was accepted into ICE custody after a second attempt, first placed in detention in Arizona and then moved to an Albany County Prison wing for asylum seekers.

In early October, in discussions with Armando’s attorney, the hearing officer seemed to indicate that Armando had a strong “credible fear” claim for asylum, even under recently narrowed definitions promulgated by the U.S. Attorney General’s office, because of “participation of government actors – in the form of local law enforcement–with gang violence,” according to Rabbi Brusso; Armando had told ICE that local authorities allowed gangs to freely function. However, his claim for asylum was rejected without explanation, with one remaining appeal before an immigration judge before re-deportation.

Community Efforts Strived to “Bring Armando Home”

After consultation with Armando’s attorney and family, the decision was made to further publicize his plight to appeal to someone in the administration (beyond the many local and state politicians already involved) who might be able to help. Congregants and members of the wider community were urged to write directly to and petition the immigration judges, and almost 250 people attended the evening rally, covered by numerous New York area media outlets alerted to the event by congregants with public relations backgrounds and contacts.

Rabbi Brusso described the effort as a way to “come together to create a positive space, for positive, constructive actions around these issues without the rhetoric of ‘you’re wrong and I’m right,’” he added. “We can talk about the issues, and our values, from there. It’s important to show people that there’s a caring, nurturing place as real as the destructive place.” He said the rally offered an opportunity for the congregation and others to come together communally to express its loss, much as it does to celebrate happy events and mourn sad ones. “When Ulises said ‘I didn’t realize how many people loved my dad,’ it made it all worth it,” he said.

Bet Torah’s Rabbi Brusso addressing hundreds at the rally.

A Lesson in Compassion

“Bring Armando Home” also became a teaching opportunity for Bet Torah children, many too young to understand issues surrounding legal citizenship and immigration but able to develop compassion for someone they know. An email to the synagogue nursery and religious school communities, shared on Facebook, reminded them that “we are here for each other no matter what we are going through.” Rabbi Brusso addressed children directly at the rally, gently urging them not to be scared that their own parents would be taken away, but suggesting that “this imaginary fear teaches you to be sensitive to the real fears faced by others” and this “moral fear” teaches you how to be compassionate.

“I wanted to create a moral space that doesn’t exist elsewhere,” Rabbi Brusso explained, “to take it out of the political and make it focus on the personal.” He added that houses of worship are really the last places where people with diverse points of view, outside of their social media echo chambers, can gather and come together for a larger purpose without using the language built for argumentation often used in public discourse.

Rabbi Brusso is unsure of what the next steps may be, but spoke for all present on October 16: “Some of us are lucky enough to be born into wonderful homes, others have to search for them. Armando went on a journey to find his home. He found it here. And he is a blessing to his wife and his sons and to our entire community. We ask one thing: bring Armando home so that he can continue be a blessing to all of us again. Let’s bring Armando home.”

One Woman’s Silver Linings Cancer Playbook

October 24, 2018 by Beth Besen

PHOTO BY CAROLYN SIMPSON/DOUBLEVISON PHOTOGRAPHY

The Blessings of Early Detection and Excellent Treatment

Self-described “gym rat” Eileen Cohen looks the very picture of health as we sit down to a morning coffee at Tazza of Millwood. Watching her enter the café, fit and trim with a bounce to her step, one would never know we were meeting to discuss her recent health sCare.

No, that is not a typo; call it this writer’s literary device, my way of introducing two highly intertwined topics–the “big C, Cancer, and the importance of Care. From healthcare providers to friends and family, Care is a patient’s most valuable resource.

Eileen’s health scare came during her annual routine mammogram. She’d scheduled the exam, expecting the usual “everything looks good, see you next year” results. Instead, this time, Eileen recalls hearing the technician offer a quiet “hmmmmm,” and telling her she needed to stay and speak with the radiologist. She was informed that her mammogram showed new calcifications, and she was given the option of observation versus biopsy. However, a biopsy was recommended to rule out malignancy. She chose the biopsy, saying, for her, there was no question. But, then she paused to reflect, “Maybe people get scared. I don’t know the mindset of others… but I can’t imagine not wanting to know.”

Wife and mother (to three busy teenagers), this Chappaqua mom had just celebrated turning 50 years young when the subsequent biopsy forever changed her life. The pathology was classic-type Lobular Carcinoma in Situ (LCIS); while LCIS is not a cancer, it is a proliferative process that connotes an increase in lifetime breast cancer risk in either breast. Given the increased risk of breast cancer, Dr. Ranjana Chaterji, a Northwell Health Breast Surgeon and Director of Quality at The Breast Institute at Northern Westchester Hospital (NWH) did an MRI with contrast which showed another spot. This was near the original area of concern and, when biopsied, was shown to be more classic-type LCIS. Surgical excision was recommended to rule out an associated invasive breast cancer component. There is only a five percent chance of upgrade to invasive breast cancer at the time of surgical excision, but Eileen fell into that five percent category; her pathology report confirmed Invasive Lobular Carcinoma, which would require definitive cancer surgery and treatment.

NWH Meditation room. PHOTO COURTESY OF NWH

However, prior to surgery, patients undergo preoperative medical clearance, including, for some like Eileen, cardiac clearance. Eileen’s pre-surgery cardiology visit resulted in the finding of yet another medical issue–PVC, or Premature Ventricular Contractions. This condition can be treated with medication or surgery; Eileen needed surgical correction.

Given these diagnoses, there are, doubtless, many who would feel angry, depressed or a combination of both. Eileen, however, feels lucky and thankful–lucky that her original diagnosis led to the more invasive cancer diagnosis, and thankful that her cardiology tests caught her weakening heart condition in time to successfully rebound!

Thankfulness is, in fact, a recurring theme in our conversation. Eileen describes her close-knit family as supportive, explaining that though she “didn’t want to include them in everything going on; that would actually make it harder (on her),” her children and husband really rallied to step up and step in to fill in where needed. For example, both her girls were serious dancers with companies in NYC, and it had been Eileen’s pleasure to drive them to the city for their classes. During treatment, however, they learned to navigate the trains and travel to classes themselves, gaining an independence Eileen sees as a silver lining. And, while recent college tours for Eileen’s son had been a great opportunity for family road trips, post-diagnosis visits became more of a father/son activity. She is very grateful that her husband could take off days from work as necessary during her surgeries and radiation treatments.

Support wasn’t limited to immediate family. Friends gathered around, some making the time to call and check in every day. And, in a strange turn of events, Eileen also found out that a younger cousin was going through a similar experience. In fact, the women actually began radiation on the very same day. Eileen describes daily texts with her cousin–texts of encouragement and information-sharing (e.g., which clothes are most comfortable)–and also underscores the sense of relief that their mutual experience and support affords; there is nothing quite like going through something with someone you know who is experiencing the very same situation.

And then there’s the equally invaluable support of dedicated professionals. Eileen credits not only her team of expert physicians at Northern Westchester Hospital – Dr. Chaterji was joined by Dr. Alfred Tinger, the Former Chief of Radiation Oncology specializing in breast cancer treatment –but also the adjunct services available there. She took full advantage of the free programs available to cancer patients at NWH’s Bruce and Andrea Yablon Cancer Health and Wellness Program. The program is available to all cancer patients in the community regardless of whether or not their oncologist is located at the hospital. As long as one of their physicians has admitting privileges to the hospital, they can participate in the program.

These services include: Integrative Medicine, such as acupuncture, aromatherapy, energy healing/Reiki, guided imagery, oncology medical massage and reflexology; Nutritional Support with a Registered Dietician which helps patients eat well during and after treatment; Fitness Programming specially tailored to patients’ needs; Mindful Wellness with licensed psychiatrists, psychologists, pastors and social workers and the Survivorship Program to ease patients back into life after cancer. What’s more, there are additional workshops, special programs and resources available to cancer patients, survivors and caregivers too.

Everyone’s needs differ, and those different needs become even more pronounced during cancer treatment. Personally, Eileen especially liked visiting the acupuncturist and her nutritionist, Pat Talio. She found acupuncture helped “give (her) balance during an unbalanced time” and that the nutritionist could help her refine her diet so as to avoid questionable ingredients and additives.

NWH’s Licensed Acupuncturist Vanessa McKay-Barr says, “Eileen is one of those patients that does the homework you give them. Whether it’s treatment frequency, exercises, or dietary suggestions, she did the work and it paid off. Her persistence and desire to have the best results for her mind, body, and soul was inspiring to see. She focused on the positives of treatment and didn’t let any symptoms overcome her thoughts. I particularly enjoyed talking to her about her family and watching her face brighten as she would speak of her children. She was a pleasure to work with and I wish her the best in her journey of Cancer Survivorship.”

Rounding out support are the nurses and technicians, each and every one, the very definition of “caregiver.” Patients are treated with empathy and respect, welcomed with smiles and given endless understanding.

The facility itself is bright, cheerful and comfortable with waiting-room activities (Eileen particularly liked the puzzles) to help patients relax prior to treatment. There is even valet parking for those who need that level of assistance. Fighting cancer can be physically, spiritually, emotionally and psychologically debilitating, but getting treatment at NWH and making use of its additional services gives a patient the very best in team support to help win that fight. For further information on the Bruce and Andrea Yablon Cancer Health and Wellness program, call 914-242-8146 or visit www.nwhcancercenter.org.

Exercising Good Health

Eileen Cohen at Pink Aid with Dr. Bonnie Litvack, Director of the Women’s Imaging Center at NWH
PHOTOS COURTESY OF EILEEN COHEN

In the past, cancer patients were often told to “take it easy,” to save their strength and reduce exercise activity. But, like treatment itself, this advice has changed dramatically over the years. Nowadays, if a patient feels up to it, most doctors support maintaining an exercise routine. In fact, the American Cancer Society notes, “newer research has shown that exercise is not only safe and possible during cancer treatment, but it can improve how well you function physically and your quality of life.”

No one would agree more with this than Eileen who shared, “The fact that I was able to work out through my treatments made me feel like myself.” She further noted that it was during one of her regular Saw Mill exercise classes that she connected with one of her instructors on a whole new level. Eileen had shown up for a 7:30 a.m. class (prior to her scheduled surgery no less!) and happened to fall into a fundraiser for Pink Aid. Coincidence? Perhaps, but maybe something of a higher power brought Eileen to that class on that day. She believes in a higher power, and that the path to spiritual fulfillment is personal; even the gym can be a powerful place of inspiration and well-being.

Through her class instructor, Denise Walker, also a breast cancer survivor, Eileen has become an advocate, helping to raise both awareness (of the need for early detection) and funds (for those who need financial help for treatment). She says, “I was private while I was going through treatment, but I feel like if I can help others recognize that they need to take care of themselves and be proactive, I will.” On October 3rd, Eileen “walked” in the 8th annual Pink Aid Fashion Show sponsored by Mitchells of Westport, CT. Critical funds were raised for the organization whose “mission is to help underserved local women…and to empower breast cancer survivors to heal by helping and inspiring others.” Indeed, according to Eileen, laughter, tears and wisdom were shared amongst speakers and attendees. There was a communal spirit of support and gratitude; each woman felt grateful to be connected to the others there, grateful for their access to excellent healthcare and, ultimately, grateful for their lives.

The Point Is: NWH’s Vanessa Mckay-Barr, L.Ac Explains How Acupuncture Can Help Cancer Patients

Acupuncturist Vanessa McKay-Barr and Eileen Cohen PHOTO BY CAROLYN SIMPSON/DOUBLEVISON PHOTOGRAPHY

When a patient gets a cancer diagnosis and is quickly thrust into treatment, there is tremendous emotional impact. In fact, stress and anxiety are the most prevalent issues for these acupuncture patients. Acupuncture helps a person’s body go from fight or flight mode to rest and relax mode. By reducing stress and calming the mind, acupuncture leaves patients with a greater sense of well-being. For this reason, McKay-Barr often refers to acupuncture as “inner-cise” (exercise for your energy).

Acupuncture also helps alleviate many of the side effects from cancer treatment such as nausea and vomiting, chemotherapy induced neuropathy, menopausal symptoms, dry mouth, fatigue, constipation, and insomnia. Furthermore, in addition to the clinical value, there is a psychological and emotional benefit; acupuncture creates balance in the Central Nervous System by regulating hormones such as serotonin, noradrenaline, and dopamine. This can alter mood chemistry and help address the physical impact caused by cancer and cancer treatment. In Chinese Medicine theory, emotions are stored in a person’s blood. Therefore, by improving circulation, acupuncture helps move, release and let go of emotions (those due to the stress of a cancer diagnosis or even from long-ago issues) that can be held in the body.

Through the Bruce and Andrea Yablon Cancer Health and Wellness Program at NWH, McKay-Barr’s acupuncture sessions help alleviate any issues patients have from cancer treatment. However, she says she “most enjoys seeing patients work through the most difficult part of their lives and come out on the other side with a gratitude that you cannot teach. The gift of life, positivity, gratefulness, and an overall improved quality of life from this process is so rewarding to see. This is why I love what I do.”

Saw Mill Club and NWH: Two Local Resources for Health, Well-Being and a Sense of Community

Barbara Accetta
PHOTO COURTESY OF SAW MILL CLUB

The Saw Mill Club is so much more than a place to exercise. According to Barbara Accetta, Media and Creative Director for the club, the real impact comes from the sense of community felt throughout the club. She shares that there’s a “real healing environment that can be felt whether you are in a class or not. Each person will find someone who has a journey just like theirs, whether it be injury or illness.” As noted above, the sense of camaraderie and relief a shared health journey affords cannot be understated. Agrees Accetta, “find someone who has a place where they feel they “belong” and you will find someone who is thriving.”

Accetta also points out that, while the club offers multiple varieties of classes for all different levels of experience, and has instructors with general and/or specific knowledge, specific post-illness and post-injury members should consult with their healthcare providers to best navigate their particular needs. The club does have Physical Therapy, one-on-one personal training and massage–all great options for anyone and everyone’s well being.

The Saw Mill Club and NWH have a long and steadfast relationship, and their proximity to each other makes for an easy partnership. Saw Mill has participated in “exercise as medicine” for several patient groups including new mothers, cancer survivors, and hip and knee patients. Saw Mill has also hosted the Annual Hospital Gala on four occasions over the last ten years, turning their indoor tennis courts into a spectacular space for this special fundraiser evening.

Like NWH, Saw Mill is one of Mount Kisco’s larger employers, and has collaborated on wellness programs for hospital employees as well as currently offering a special membership relationship. In the words of General Manager and Vice President, Kevin Kane, “We have common aims for the success of Mt. Kisco and care deeply about our Village by participating in several civic boards and committees.”

Eileen Cohen at Pink Aid walking the runway with Dr. Bonnie Litvack, Director of the Women’s Imaging Center at NWH

Untold Stories from the Border: Local Couple Helps Migrant Families in McAllen, Texas

August 29, 2018 by Shauna Levy

Chappaqua residents Larry and Debbie Rose are not self-proclaimed humanitarians. Their actions, however tell a different story. As news of families in crisis at the U.S.-Mexico border reached a crescendo, the couple reconsidered their summer vacation plans. Instead, they booked tickets to McAllen, Texas, the town that’s gained notoriety for being home to the migrant detention center that has been separating families.

The decision to choose volunteerism was a simple one. Debbie explains, “We’ve had many passionate conversations about this topic and realized that while our children were at sleepaway camp, we have an opportunity. It sounds cliché, but we just wanted to make a difference. We went for it.” They identified the Catholic Charities Humanitarian Respite Center, located a few miles from the detention center in McAllen as a place where they could help migrant families. “It was one of the few places accepting volunteers who were not attorneys or fluent in Spanish,” according to Larry.

Families in Crisis

The couple touched down in Texas and got acquainted with the respite center immediately after checking into their hotel. They were astounded by the scene that met them. Debbie recalls their first impressions, “We opened the door and found ourselves in the midst of a large, hot room, reminiscent of the DMV brimming with families. Within only ten minutes, a little boy about four years old took my hand and began rapidly speaking Spanish. I made out the word ‘agua’ and offered him water. In that moment it became real.”

With a tour of the facility, the Roses gained clarity over what they were witnessing. The respite center is pivotal to asylum seekers, providing each individual with a set of clothes including shoes, food, a shower and shelter to sleep as they await their futures. Larry elaborates, “We learned that these families had crossed the border, arrived at the detention center, and gained access to the respite center because they had a sponsor in this country. A volunteer would attempt contact with the sponsor. If contact was made and that sponsor could provide bus fare, that family could leave that afternoon.”

Gathering Provisions

The Roses wasted no time assessing how they could add the most value, mingling and conversing with families and volunteers alike. “They desperately needed sneakers,” reports Debbie, explaining, “Everyone gets a new pair because they have literally walked from their starting point to the border.” Fortuitously, the Roses encountered a volunteer who pointed out the many teenage boys slumped over around the room. It was an eye-opening moment as Debbie says, “It was a situation that never crossed our minds and it was then that we decided to target teenagers in our efforts.”

With this knowledge, Debbie and Larry began the first of four visits to various supermarkets where they purchased items in bulk including toys, sneakers, pants and at least 100 loaves of bread. In the meantime, on Facebook, a grassroots movement was evolving at home. Of the phenomenon Debbie says, “Our goal was to directly help families at the border through our own volunteer efforts and monetary donations. This was not a fundraising effort, but many of our friends who couldn’t join us wanted to get involved. Then, their friends wanted to help and suddenly it was a domino effect. I ultimately posted my Venmo ID and we raised $6,300 in just a few days.”

While providing basic necessities was fulfilling, the Roses were most impacted by the children they met as they handed out the supplies they purchased. Debbie describes one young girl crying on her father’s shoulder, saying, “I simply gave her an Etch A Sketch and she didn’t shed a tear for the rest of her time there. Not only was this wonderful for the child, but it also provided relief for the parents who had just gone through this ordeal.” Similarly, Larry engaged with teenage boys by playing Jenga. He recounts the experience, “It started with one boy, but soon we had a serious Jenga tournament with several teams that lasted hours. During this time, one well-dressed boy reported, in perfect English, that his favorite toy at home was a remote control helicopter. It hit me that while these kids have nothing now, it wasn’t always that way. These are all families who had enough means to get out of their country. For them to have abandoned their lives with only the clothes on their back, things had to have been really bad.”

The American Spirit

In only four days, the Roses were able to reorganize the center’s food storage system, upgrade toys in the playroom and touch the lives of families in dire straits. Debbie says, “With the reputation of this country being unwelcoming, I wanted to be welcoming.” And, they weren’t alone as Larry explains, “Part of the untold story is the American spirit. It was truly a nationwide effort, with people from all over the country pitching in.”