Ella Ilan

Local Moms of Food Allergic Kids Driven to Effect Change and Promote Awareness

November 12, 2021 by Ella Ilan

Food allergies affect approximately 5 percent of children and 4 percent of adults in the U.S, according to the National Institutes of Health. Food allergies can sometimes trigger a life-threatening anaphylactic reaction marked by constriction of the airways, making it difficult to breathe. Living with this threat, especially for parents of children with food allergies, is frightening and challenging. Part of the challenge is navigating a life where many people either are blissfully unaware of or simply do not appreciate the seriousness of food allergies.

The Importance of Spreading Awareness

Armonk mom Michelle Isban, as a former teacher, knows that educating the public is the best method to ensure that her food allergic daughter can live a healthy and safe life. Michelle’s achievements include having helped promote awareness at Armonk’s two playgrounds, IBM and Lombardi parks. Signs posted at the playgrounds list common food allergens and alert park-goers that allergic reactions can happen from tactile contact so children should only eat at designated picnic areas and wash their hands before using the equipment.

“Inclusivity is the most important thing to me,” says Isban. “If my daughter goes on the monkey bars right after a child who just ate peanut butter, she can have an anaphylactic reaction. I want her to feel like she can run safely onto the playground after soccer practice.”

Isban credits the Town of North Castle Recreation Department for their swift action in installing the signs upon her suggestion. “Matt Trainor, superintendent of the rec department was really open to it, raised it at a town board meeting, and got it approved. A few weeks later, the signs were up.”

Photo of mug and playground sign courtesy of Michelle Isban

“It’s upsetting when your child is excluded,” reveals another Armonk mom. “I don’t expect another parent to bake something for my child, but I’m angry when I don’t get a head’s up about a class party or when parents show up to soccer games or practices with Dunkin Donuts or cookies. Your child has to watch empty-handed as their friends delight in their delicious treat. With just a little notice, I can easily bring a comparable treat for my child.”

Ever since Isban’s daughter was diagnosed with allergies, Isban has advocated for her daughter and for food allergic children. With the help of a lawyer, she helped get a 504 plan, the first in Byram Hills granted for food allergies. Section 504 of The Rehabilitation Act of 1973 requires public schools to offer accommodations for eligible students with disabilities. Now, other families in the district can more freely obtain this legally binding plan to address how the school will accommodate their child’s food allergies.

Isban also started an Instagram page called allergymomwithamission where she recommends new food brands without common allergens and collaborates with companies that make allergy-safe food products. Every Wednesday, she shares a food allergy hero, a young child or teen, and what they are doing in the food allergy community.

Isban uses any opportunity presented to spread awareness. She donates children’s books about food allergies to the school, she organized the Teal Pumpkin Drive in Armonk to collect non-food items for Halloween, she has co-chaired walks for the non-profit Food Allergy Research and Education (FARE), and helped organize the 2019 Shoot For A Cure fundraiser at Breezemont Day Camp for the non-profit End Allergies Together (EAT) that raised over $60,000.

A teacher at heart, she will never pass up a teachable moment. Once on an airplane, hearing another passenger complain that peanuts were not being served, Isban approached the woman and explained that her daughter could have an anaphylactic reaction if a bag of peanuts was opened and the dust circulated in the air. She offered to share her own granola bar with the woman.

“I teach my daughter that food allergies don’t define you but they are part of you so it’s important to teach other people,” says Isban. “Everyone can make a difference and you don’t have to stay quiet.”

Legislation Passed That Can Save Lives

Chappaqua mom Stacey Saiontz, a former lawyer, has also committed to using her skills to advocate for legislation to make the world a safer and more inclusive place for people with food allergies. Her 13-year-old son, who has 26 food allergies, has been her driving force.

Mission Accomplished! Stacey Saiontz with family and friends following Governor Cuomo signing a bill giving bus drivers a green light to administer epinephrine in an emergency situation.

Twelve years ago, Saiontz had an idea to create a law that would require all New York State teachers to be trained to recognize a child in anaphylaxis and how to administer an epinephrine auto-injector. While at a child’s birthday party whose grandfather was a state senator, she approached the senator with her idea and he encouraged her to draft proposed legislation, which he later sponsored. Sadly, this bill has taken turns getting passed in either the senate or the assembly, but never both. Saiontz continues to push for this Teacher Training Bill (A523), which is currently being sponsored by Assembly member Linda Rosenthal.

She has since advocated, along with other Chappaqua parents, for multiple bills that have passed into law. Senate bill S7262A allows schools to stock epinephrine auto injectors and permits them to be administered in emergency situations without a prescription.

“Many kids try foods at school that they may not know they are allergic to and they can have a reaction. Previously, nurses’ hands were tied and they couldn’t use an EpiPen on a child without a prescription,” explains Saiontz. “A throat can close within seconds to minutes depending on the reaction and waiting for an ambulance could result in death.”

Another bill Saiontz helped pass into law, Assembly bill A09334B, allows students to self-carry EpiPens in schools. Thanks to this law, students could carry EpiPens in their backpacks and go to their friends’ houses and on their friends’ buses with them after school.

A third bill was inspired by Saiontz’ son when he was in the 4th grade and really wanted to take the bus but bus drivers were not authorized to administer epinephrine. Saiontz included her son in the whole process, brought him to Albany, and he proposed a law allowing bus drivers to administer epinephrine. Assembly bill A7635A was passed into law.

Saiontz is currently working on restaurant legislation in New York State that would require training of restaurant personnel and adding allergens to the menu. On the federal level, Saiontz and fellow local advocates advocated for the passage of the FASTER (Food Allergy Safety, Treatment, Education, and Research) Act that now requires sesame to be labeled on packaged food.

Saiontz has been bringing her son with her to Albany to advocate since he was 4-years old, along with a group of fellow parents and their kids.

“I don’t want him to feel sorry for himself.

I want him to see what he can do to make life better for him and others,” emphasizes Saiontz.

The Byram Hills Education Foundation Funding Our Students’ Futures

August 17, 2021 by Ella Ilan

The View Sonic at Byram Hills High School

As a Byram Hills parent, I have often marveled throughout the years over the state-of-the-art technology and innovative programming available to our students in our local public school. Byram Hills families have been fortunate to have the Byram Hills Education Foundation (“BHEF”) brainstorming and funding visionary grants complementing an already stellar school district. The BHEF is a non-profit group that has awarded over 430 grants totaling over $5 million since 1994.

The mission of the BHEF is to enhance the education of all students in the Byram Hills school district by funding grants that encourage learning and personal development. The BHEF is governed by a board of directors representing a broad spectrum of the community. The board is comprised of 27 voting directors, consisting of parent and community volunteers. In addition, a group of non-voting board members include Byram Hills Superintendent Dr. Jen Lamia, a teacher representative from each school, and representatives from the board of education.

The BHEF funds two main types of grants: insta-grants and signature grants. Insta-grants can be submitted by teachers at any point in the year, are capped at $2500, and must be implemented that same school year. Signature grants are typically bigger in dollar, can be implemented over two years, and typically follow a lengthier review process. The BHEF relies entirely on donations from parents and the community to fund grants.

Facilitating Getting Kids Back to School

Last summer, in response to the schools being shut down and the challenges posed by the Covid pandemic, the BHEF fast-tracked their grant review process and supplied cutting edge ViewSonic Virtual Classroom technology, an idea spearheaded by Dr. Andrew Taylor, Director of Technology at Byram Hills, that allowed our teachers to implement effective hybrid learning for students in different locations through a touch screen monitor and accompanying software that served as a hub in each classroom. They also outfitted every school with new shaded outdoor spaces for socially distanced learning and fresh air mask breaks.

“This was very quick from idea to inception,” recalls Jessica Bond, BHEF president, “but we were able to get it done because of the great collaboration and communication we have with the administration.”

The BHEF Is An Innovation Engine

“The BHEF is capable of doing what school budgets cannot do alone. The BHEF has been behind major initiatives of the District for decades, from 1:1 technology initiatives to library renovations and program development. EVERY child in Byram Hills benefits from the support of the BHEF–at every turn in their school years–and that is a big part of what distinguishes a Byram Hills education,” says Dr. Lamia.

Grant ideas can come from a variety of sources. Teachers are encouraged to submit grant proposals. “It is their classroom,” says Bond, “and if they want to try something innovative or have a need, that’s why we’re here and we try to get that message out to them.”

To generate ideas and foster community involvement, the BHEF has also organized roundtable discussions with the donor leadership members, the Benefactor and Bobcat levels, to brainstorm grant ideas. “We discuss what we hope our kids will have learned upon graduating here and how we want them to feel; things like independence, being an innovative thinker, and happy. Then we talk about what grants might achieve that and where parents currently see successes and opportunities in our schools,” explains Bond. The BHEF holds multiple community and donor events throughout the year and welcomes the community’s input.

Once a year, the BHEF participates in a forum with other school foundations, such as Bronxville, Chappaqua and Edgemont, where they also share and discuss grant initiatives. Throughout its process, the BHEF maintains an open dialogue with the administration. “We work hand in hand with Dr. Lamia and the principals throughout the year to understand where our schools and students need our support and to translate that into successful grants that our community will rally behind,” explains Bond.

Photos courtesy of the Byram Hills Education Foundation

Game-changers for the Students

Every year, the grants have been impressive game-changers for the students. This year introduced the ViewSonic technology, enabling virtual learning, and the Written Out Loud program, where kids learned the power of storytelling by writing and publishing their own books. Last year, the Creative Arts Community Center grant created an indoor and outdoor community space at Wampus connecting two contemporary art studios to an outdoor space that will support student learning.

In 2019, the Wellness for Life grant funded a partnership with the nationally recognized Stanford University’s Challenge Success program to assess and support student wellness. The Wellness Initiative in 2018 built an indoor educational playspace at Coman Hill to be used year-round and an outdoor obstacle course at Wampus, all to nurture students’ physical and mental wellness.

The Library 2.0 renovations in 2017 at Coman Hill, Wampus, and H.C. Crittenden integrated STEAM and Makers Spaces, updated presentation technology, modernized learning spaces, and connected the library and computer labs. The Full STEAM Ahead grant and STEAM Labs initiative in 2016 renovated technology labs and gave students at all academic levels exposure to coding, robotics, engineering, electronics, and 3D modeling. Much what Byram Hills families have come to take for granted in the classrooms now was initially funded by the BHEF, from the smart boards to the chromebooks to the cloud computer.

The BHEF also funds smaller but very impactful grants throughout the year. A few examples include new podcasting equipment, alternative classroom seating to support all types of learners, Kindle e-readers, specialized “pupil core eye tracking” glasses for research and athletic projects, a solar telescope, Byram Hills’ first greenhouse to study plants, and much more.

The global scholars program at the high school, which began as a pilot, started with the idea of providing students an alternative to the acclaimed science research program and creating a global competency in students to teach them how to be citizens of the world. The BHEF took a chance and funded a professional development trip to Nicaragua for teachers to learn how to bring this program to Byram Hills, which has since developed into a well-loved robust program.

One of the newest projects funded by the BHEF is the construction of Crittenden Commons, a multi-sport court for basketball, volleyball, street hockey and other sports with an amphitheater style seating area. The seating area will extend outdoor learning opportunities at the middle school. “The English teachers are already picturing doing Shakespeare outside,” says Bond.

How to Donate

Donations of any amount are welcome online at SupportByramHills.org. The Benefactor Circle for those who give $1500 or more and the Bobcat Circle for those who give $750 up to $1499 are leadership circles which include exciting benefits. Additionally, for anyone interested in honoring a teacher, a “teacher tribute” can be ordered online at SupportByramHills.org and the BHEF will send your teacher a special certificate notifying them of your gift in their honor. The BHEF sponsors many fun events throughout the year including an Outdoor Family Movie Night (10/2/21) and a Spring Bash (2022 date TBD). Corporate sponsorships are available with benefits and volunteer opportunities are available for anyone that wants to get involved. Contact the BHEF at bhef1@byramhills.org.

Easy to Digest Healthy Eating Strategies from Weight Loss Coach Lyssa Weiss

April 2, 2021 by Ella Ilan

Amongst the myriad of ways that Covid has affected our lives this past year, unwanted weight gain has been a reality for many of us. Much of our energy was focused on procuring food for family trapped at home and much time was spent in the kitchen preparing meals. Boredom combined with anxiety created a recipe for plenty of mindless snacking. Armonk resident Lyssa Weiss, M.S., R.D., C.D.N., is the owner of Skinny Jeans Nutrition, LLC and a weight loss coach who specializes in emotional eating. I spoke with her about how she keeps herself accountable and helps her clients control their weight through Covid.

As a wife and mother of two with a busy career, Weiss is relatable. She understands her clients’ weight loss struggles because she herself lost 50 pounds, has kept it off for 27 years, and considers herself a food addict in recovery. “I had to change my thinking about food, overeating, and dieting in order to keep the weight off,” Weiss shares. “Once you learn to think differently, you literally become a happier version of yourself.”

Creating Good Habits

Weiss admits that at the start of the pandemic, her family, like everyone else’s, often found themselves in the kitchen with everyone on different eating schedules and generally bonding around meals. She quickly established boundaries and used the clock as a schedule, limiting herself to specific mealtimes and snack times. “My family was in the kitchen cooking and that was not going to change so I had to change. If there was lasagna, I made sure there was something else I can eat… and taking care of myself the way I would take care of my child if they had a special dietary need.”

Weiss promotes creating good habits and she practices what she preaches. She keeps a daily food record, mapping out her food for the day and budgets her calories accordingly. She calls it “calorie accounting” and teaches her clients that “it’s like money in a bank where you only have $1200 or 1200 calories to spend each day and you must budget that in planning your meals.”

Other helpful habits Weiss encourages include eating off a smaller plate to help control portion sizes and serving meals buffet style which forces you to stand up to get a second helping.

Staying Motivated

As we lounge around in sweatpants without social engagements on our schedule, it is difficult to stay motivated through this pandemic. Weiss advises clients to look to the future. “You don’t want to compound the pain of social isolation with the feeling that you also hate how you look and feel.”

Weiss understands that everyone has slip-ups but advises us to move past them. “Willpower does not work in dieting. I call it skill-power, and it’s a skill to not let your slip-up become your stopping point. I mess up like everyone else,” she concedes, “but I pick myself up the next day. I don’t let it become a week or a month or a pandemic of slip-ups.”

Avoiding Bad Boyfriend Foods

Weiss does not label certain foods good or bad, but she explains that how we behave around certain foods is ‘good’ or ‘bad’. She calls foods that we lose our sensibilities around ‘bad boyfriend foods’. “Whenever you get involved with these foods, it ends badly with you overeating them. One girl’s bad boyfriend food could be cookies while another’s could be grapes. It is not about the food, but rather how you behave around the food.”

To resist the pull towards these bad boyfriend foods, Weiss recommends keeping your kitchen clean of them since “we eat with our eyes.” In her own household, she stores her kids’ snacks in separate drawers from her own “safe foods” to avoid temptation.

Enjoyable snacks, however, that one will not overeat, are encouraged by Weiss. “Your day should be 80/20; 80% should be nutritious food and 20% should be fun treats because research shows that people who include treats in their diet stick to their food plan better.”

Find a Vice

As a specialist in emotional eating, Weiss travels two lanes in her office. Besides focusing on which foods to eat for weight loss, she explains why clients turn to food to change the way they are feeling whether lonely, tired, overwhelmed, or worried.

For example, those who claim hunger as they reach for the cookie jar, skipping the low-calorie food, such as an apple, are not experiencing physical hunger. “That’s just mindless grazing. Boredom and fear-based eating have been the two biggest culprits of over-eating during this pandemic.”

To combat this, Weiss suggests finding something else to compete with the act of eating so that you don’t turn to food “for a dopamine hit” when you’re simply bored. Instead, she urges, “find a vice that lights you up that is as quick and accessible as eating.” Weiss’s suggestions include watching Netflix shows, taking online courses, talking to friends, or starting a new hobby.

Besides seeing clients in her private practice, Weiss is generous with weight loss advice on her public Facebook page [Lyssa Dansky Weiss] where she runs a private weight loss support community, and on Instagram @lyssaweiss. Weiss is also the author of the book The Skinny Jeans Diet (Harper Collins). For more information, visit www.lyssaweiss.com.

Lyssa Weiss’s Buffalo Chicken Wings

1/2 of recipe (5 wings): 215 calories, 5.5g total fat, 16g carbs, 4g fiber, 1g sugars, 27g protein

Ingredients

15-20 reduced-fat BBQ baked potato chips or popped chips

Dash onion powder

Dash garlic powder

Dash cayenne pepper

Dash each salt and black pepper

8 oz. raw boneless skinless chicken breast, cut into 10 nugget-size bites

3 tbsp. Frank’s RedHot Original Cayenne Pepper Sauce

Directions

Preheat oven to 375 degrees. Spray a baking sheet with nonstick spray.

In a blender/food processor or in a ziplock bag with a spoon, grind/pound chips into crumbs. Transfer to a wide bowl and mix in seasonings.

Place chicken nuggets in a large bowl. Top with sauce and toss to coat.

One at a time, shake nuggets to remove excess sauce and coat with crumbs. Evenly lay on the baking sheet.

Bake for 10 minutes. Flip chicken. Bake until cooked through and crispy, about 6 minutes. Eat!

(You can also make this in the air fryer. Bake for 10 minutes at 350.)

Byram Hills Administration Shares How the District Achieved In-Person Classes Despite the Pandemic

February 18, 2021 by Ella Ilan

And the keys to success meeting unprecedented challenges…

Bravo Byram Hills! Facing unprecedented challenges due to Covid-19, the Byram Hills School District has risen to the occasion successfully implementing a well-laid plan for the safe education of our children. Despite an abrupt shutdown of schools in mid-March with no handbook on how to remotely educate an entire district, things are now running smoothly with a mixture of in-person (K-6), hybrid (7-12), and remote instruction (K-12 option). The magnitude of this accomplishment cannot be overstated when many of the nation’s schools were unable to reopen and remained completely remote this school year.

“The Eye of the Storm”- The First Few Weeks

In mid-March, when Covid-19 forced a historic shutdown of our schools, Byram Hills administrators and faculty kicked into high gear to try and provide a semblance of normalcy and continuity of education for students.

“It felt like we were in the middle of a storm,” recalls Dr. Jen Lamia, Superintendent of Schools. “We were trying to support teachers who were out remotely for the first time, trying to deploy Chromebooks to support parents, trying to get curriculum and technology up and running, and it was incredibly difficult.”

Initially, no one knew how long schools would be closed because school districts were awaiting instructions from the governor. “We made decisions based on temporary status,” says Dr. Tim Kaltenecker, Deputy Superintendent. “We would’ve made different decisions, such as having a schedule, if we knew it was going to be long term. So, we took those lessons learned from the spring, we surveyed the community, the students, and faculty, and used much of that information to start planning for September.”

“We had no idea we were in that lull and things were going to continue to get worse,” says Lamia. “However, once we realized this will be somewhat permanent, we moved our minds to preparations for the fall.”

“Pots on a Stove” – Preparing for the Fall

“We watched our K-6 learners struggle in a remote setting, so our number one goal was to get K-6 back in school, socially-distanced, and then to identify curriculum, so Tim, Gina Cunningham (Assistant Superintendent for Human Resources), Kelly Seibert (Assistant Superintendent for Business and Management Services) and I started this work,” explains Lamia.

To bring students back, the administration had to tackle a myriad of details related to building operations, curriculum, instruction, personnel, technology, and safety. Every building and every grade level had its own challenges to address. “We had a lot of pots on the stove, we had different urgent items that we needed to tend to for things to run well,” says Lamia.

Communication was key. The process involved talking with teachers and staff to ascertain what they needed to feel safe to return, talking to parents about what worked for their children in remote learning in the Spring, talking to students about how instruction could be enhanced, and conversations with the Byram Hills Education Foundation (“BHEF”) about how they can support the District with the technology needed.

Separate task forces and sub-committees of faculty and administrators for K-5 and 6-12 were convened to make curriculum decisions. A Strategic Planning Committee was formed to keep everyone on schedule and ensure they were meeting benchmarks.

“Our students are at the center of our decision-making,” says Kaltenecker “our teachers were consulted every step of the way.”

Administrators worked around the clock to prepare for all scenarios. “While awaiting guidelines from the state, we planned three different models including a plan for all students in school with safety precautions, a hybrid plan, and an all remote plan,” explains Kaltenecker. “We needed to be ready because we wanted to bring in as many kids as possible for as much time as possible.”

The work paid off because Byram opened its doors on September 1, 2020 with K-6 students attending daily and grades 7-12 attending in a hybrid model. School was able to proceed because schedules were adjusted to cohort students as much as possible to de-densify classrooms, custodians prepared the buildings to meet public health guidelines, the BHEF supplied classrooms with cutting edge technology for synchronous hybrid learning, and all staff were determined to make this work.

The Importance of a Well-Prepared Team

This herculean effort could not have been undertaken without the strong foundation that had been built by the administrative team. Lamia and Kaltenecker have been working together and refining their organizational plans since 2003. “We’ve had a lot of practice in doing this sort of planning and thinking work, just never of this magnitude,” says Lamia.

“Because of our relationship, I trust Jen with my life so when we’re making these decisions…I know they’re with good intent for the district,” says Kaltenecker. “Fifty percent of our administrative team has been here a long time, we’ve studied leadership texts together, and we have a good language built in our system that helped us as we were designing this.”

“The message from Jen that was consistent whenever people were wavering, was ‘Our children need to be in school. We have to bring them back day one. How do we make that happen?’

And that was our mission,” says Kaltenecker.

“We worked very hard on this, but it’s our faculty, staff, and administration that made this happen because of their care for our children. They built it,” emphasizes Lamia.

Throughout the planning and execution of this effort, leadership consulted with a stakeholder group comprised of physicians, hospital administrators, a military veteran trained in strategic planning, nurses, principals, town supervisors, members of the board, members of the teacher’s union, and PTSA. “This group was incredible,” says Lamia. “It occurred to me that if I’m going

to move forward with opening schools, I need experts to weigh in, I need studies, I need organizational plans, and I need input from all stakeholders.”

Moving Forward with Lessons Learned

Much has been learned both about the ever-evolving science on Covid-19 and on a smaller scale, about educating the students. This past fall, in accordance with Department of Health guidelines, any child that had been in a classroom or on a bus with a Covid-positive person was instructed to quarantine for fourteen days. In December, the NYS Department of Health reduced the quarantine to ten days for exposed individuals. Also, since there have been no known cases of quarantined individuals becoming symptomatic, purportedly due to the vigilant adherence to social distancing practices, the district is not casting as wide a net when identifying exposed individuals. Only “close contacts” are directed to quarantine.

Looking ahead, the administration is discussing lessons they have learned, practices they may want to continue in a post-Covid life, things they may want to tweak, accessing vaccines for the district and arranging testing for everyone. For now, the district has facilitated weekly surveillance testing of twenty percent of students and staff using the Mirimus saliva-based PCR tests.

“If I had a gift,” says Lamia, “it would be to receive enough rapid PCR tests for every adult and student in the schools to take every Monday morning at home, so I knew with assurance that at that snapshot in time everybody was coming in Covid-free. That would be the most beautiful gift to take us from now forward.”

In the meantime, students and parents are grateful to have school in session. In a recent board meeting, Wampus Elementary Principal Peggy McInerney remarked on how appreciative the kids are to be in school. That is what makes it all worthwhile.

Getting to Know Marlene Fischer: Cherished Blogger, Now Celebrated Author

November 13, 2020 by Ella Ilan

Armonk resident Marlene Fischer holds many titles. Besides being a mom, wife, lifelong writer, blogger, and a college essay editor, she jokingly adds “food shopper” and “stain removalist” to her list of roles. Raising three boys, it often seemed like food shopping and laundry were her main gigs. Book author, however, is Fischer’s newest title.

Never imagining that she would one day write a book, Fischer just successfully self-published her first book, Gained a Daughter But Nearly Lost My Mind: How I Planned a Backyard Wedding During A Pandemic. (Editor’s Note: Order on the net or inquire at your favorite local bookstore or gift store for availability.)

A new empty nester, with her youngest son away for his freshman year at college last year, Fischer was just acclimating to her new life and blogging about it when the pandemic began. She suddenly found herself with her husband working from home and the two of them sharing a very full house with all three sons and her oldest son’s fiancée at the start of the pandemic.

Navigating meals, everyone’s needs, a never-ending mess, and the challenges of a pandemic became the subject of Fischer’s hilarious and poignant musings on her Facebook page blog, which currently boasts about 12,000 followers.

The title of her Facebook page, “Thoughts From Aisle 4,” was suggested by her oldest son, and derived from her voicemail message on her phone for many years; “Sorry I missed your call. I’m probably in Aisle 4 at the grocery store. I will call you when I’m done.”

“A Source of Light”

Inspired by Erma Bombeck’s irreverent writing, Fischer is relatable and humorous. In addition to posting on topics such as handbag shopping, aging, politics, and random observations about life, many of her posts relay stories about the frustrations and joys of raising her three boys. For younger moms, it brings hope to see that no matter your worries, they all turn out just fine, just like Fischer’s bright young responsible sons. Judging by her followers’ comments, the page has been a source of light, humor and silver linings throughout many months of quarantine. It was easy for readers to feel emotionally invested in Fischer’s excitement over her oldest son’s impending nuptials and the trials and tribulations of planning a wedding during a pandemic. Many could relate to Fischer’s excitement over her relationship with her new daughter-in-law with stories such as being invited by the bride to help choose a wedding dress. Fischer believes the wedding planning was so captivating to her followers because “it was a good distraction for everybody” during the anxiety-ridden quarantine period.

Realizing that the couple’s planned wedding, a large fancy event originally planned in Washington D.C., the bride’s hometown, was no longer possible due to Covid, they decided to get married on their intended wedding date in the Fischer’s backyard with only close family members attending. “My goal was to make it so amazing that they wouldn’t want another wedding,” explains Fischer.

Fischer describes the backyard as having looked magical between the tiki torches, the tables, and the landscaping and plantings that Fischer’s husband had painstakingly tended to for weeks. The family incorporated beautiful and meaningful Jewish traditions throughout the wedding.

The wedding was an Armonk celebration in every way. There was a drive-by parade of local friends and neighbors and it felt like everyone in town was rooting for them to have a great day. Fischer was glad to be able to support local small businesses struggling through the pandemic by patronizing the town’s retailers for the food, attire, and décor.

The ceremony was officiated by Rabbi Joshua Strom of Congregation B’nai Yisrael in Armonk who actually met the bride and groom at a Phish concert in Mexico. The couple’s shared bond with the Rabbi over Phish aligned perfectly with their wedding logo incorporating the Phish logo, Phish shirts for the guests, the bride and groom dancing their first dance on a trampoline to a Phish song, and everyone dancing the night away to a Phish cover band, Uncle Ebenezer.

Still glowing from the wedding, Fischer decided this story had to be a book. Rewriting her blogs and adding material to create a more cohesive story, she successfully wrote her first book, a labor of love, with the help of her long-time best friend and editor Helene Wingens.

A Family Affair

Fischer credits her husband for always being supportive. “I call my husband Mr. Aisle 4 and he often proofs my stuff. It’s really a family affair. One of my boys likes to criticize while the other two like and share everything. We all have our different roles.”

In the meantime, Fischer has held several book signings in town at some of her frequent hangouts including outside the local market. A book signing inside Aisle 4 of the market was not possible due to Covid.

Excerpt from Gained a Daughter but Nearly Lost My Mind: How I Planned a Backyard Wedding During A Pandemic, by Marlene Fischer

“The Battle Royale”

We had a battle going on at my house. More specifically, outside my house. It was my husband vs. the woodland creatures.

My husband had wisely left all the wedding details to me, save one; the garden. He decided to use this opportunity to beautify our yard in advance of the kids’ BIG DAY.

He bought flowers and planted them in the front beds. And the back beds, amongst the rocks. And it was good. But it wasn’t good enough. So, I went with him to the nursery and bought more flowers to keep the other flowers company. I was happy to go because it wasn’t like I was getting out much.

And then he planted those flowers as well. Since our yard backs on the woods, creatures like deer and chipmunks like to nibble on our flowers. To combat this danger, he bought deer repellant. Which sort of smells like a combination of urine and vomit.

Every few days my husband, bless his heart, went outside and sprayed all the flowers. And then we all headed inside and closed all the windows because it smelled that bad. Good luck to any animal who wanted to eat our flowers after my husband had sprayed; all I can say is that they would have had to be really hungry.

Then my husband went back to the nursery a third time and purchased bushes. And he hired people to plant all those bushes because it was too big of a project for him to tackle alone.

He also planted his annual vegetable and herb garden and put a higher fence around it to keep chipmunks and rabbits from enjoying our basil and lettuce. I do enjoy the produce we pick from the garden; we’ve got a real farm to table thing going on. Nothing tastes better to my husband than food he grew with his own hands.

Did I mention the tiki torches? My husband felt we needed tiki torches to keep the bugs away. We were now the proud owners of about twenty tiki torches which he strategically placed around our backyard. He refilled the torches regularly and ordered extra fluid just in case we ran out.

I have to give him credit where credit is due. He transformed our backyard into a tropical paradise. I sort of felt like I was in Hawaii except then I remembered I was in my backyard during a pandemic and not Hawaii.

I really hoped that he would win his war against nature. Because if he didn’t, I feared it would break him.