The Inside Press

Magazines serving the communities of Northern Westchester

Inside Thoughts

A Thanksgiving Toast to Appreciation and Understanding

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“It wasn’t just about us and our festivities. It was about everyone else who is now missing someone at their table.”

My earliest memory of Thanksgiving isn’t of all of us sitting around a table, playing football outside or baking with my mom. It’s mini hotdogs.

Yup. That’s right. Little pigs in a blanket with ketchup and mustard. I’m not even sure if that is a normal Turkey Day delicacy, but for my family it sure is.

This has been my favorite holiday forever and ever and ever. We normally wake up and eat cinnamon buns, watch the parade, go on a hike and then go to our cousins for a big Turkey Day celebration. I’m that girl who shops for a new “Thanksgiving sweater” every year. I’m also that girl who scrapes the marshmallows off the sweet potato casserole, guilty as charged. I’m so sorry to anyone who gets in line behind me. Snooze you lose Uncle Stu!

For some people, the food is what makes this their favorite holiday. But honestly, it’s just another day in the life for me.

I eat stuffing all the time when I’m home because I am obsessed with the box mix. I eat roasted veggies almost every night for dinner when I am at school. I don’t like mashed potatoes or cornbread and my typical evening ends with a nice amount of dessert.

What makes the holiday so special to me is being with my family. I’ve said this before but I’ll say it again: if you know me, you know how important family is. There are some relatives that we really only see once or twice a year, this holiday being one of those times. It’s the time where I fill them in on how school is going, what my favorite classes are, how the boyfriend I don’t have is doing, etc.

So when my dad texted me a few weeks ago saying that Thanksgiving wasn’t happening, I had a moment. I sat on my bed in my towel dress and hair wrap (two amazing investments for any college gal to have) and shed a few tears. I got really worked up. No Thanksgiving? Just Mom, Dad and Alexis? But why can’t we all just get COVID tested before?

It was no use. It just wasn’t going to work. But after my five-minute breakdown and a few deep breaths later, I realized that it was okay. That was just the way it was going to have to be.

Did I have the CUTEST Thanksgiving sweater and boots all ready to go? Yes.

Was I worried about how the turkey would come out because my Aunt Kara normally cooks it and my mom is a pescatarian? Yes. (It ended up being fabulous.)

But, was this the responsible thing to do amidst the pandemic? Absolutely. It wasn’t just about us and our festivities. It was about everyone else who is now missing someone at their table.

While the day might’ve looked a lot different than normal, at least I could count on one thing: the mini hotdogs. Grandma delivered a tray to our cousins and us the day before. Don’t worry she had some for herself too.

Instead of sitting on my cousin’s couch after three rounds of dinner regretting that extra helping of stuffing, we were all wrapped up, like pigs in a blanket, in our living room all safe and sound by 4 pm because we ate at 3. Plus, I was already wearing sweatpants so I didn’t even have to change after dinner! It was perfect.

I hope everyone was able to celebrate in some way, shape or form. Whether it was Facetiming, Zooming or calling a loved one or eating a whole pie by yourself (you deserve it.) I’m so lucky that I was able to come home from school and spend the day – and the next two months – with my family and that is something that I appreciate and understand now more than ever.

Happy Holidays and stay safe. Like Governor Cuomo said, “Don’t be a turkey. Wear a mask!”

 

 

 

 

Sisterly Love for ‘Rent a Teenager’

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Let’s hope, given all that we have been through, we have a mild winter. But if we happen to have a storm this coming season, save your strength and let a teenager shovel your walk. I know just where you can find one…

Growing up, my twin brother, Mason, and I did many of the same activities. Whether running a race in the backyard, attempting the steepest ski trails, or memorizing multiplication tables, we were in a constant competition over who was faster, braver or smarter. In those rare instances when Mason would do better than me, I was definitely envious and admittedly, a bit of a sore loser. However, when he launched his entrepreneurial endeavor, Rent a Teenager, I easily felt pride over envy.

Here’s how Rent a Teenager came to be: When our older brother, Daniel, was in middle school, he would practice tennis by hitting with a local varsity tennis player. My mom paid the player $25 per hour back then. As Mason became more of a seasoned tennis player, he realized that he too could provide a similar service to younger kids at a fraction of the rate offered by professionals. As Mason started booking up, he realized that there was likely interest for lessons in other sports. He recruited some classmates and expanded his services to include soccer, lacrosse, basketball, you name it!

This led to RentATeenager.com, a website Mason founded as a resource that provides responsible and talented teenagers to perform various jobs. His range of services now extends way beyond just sports training. You can now hire a teenager as a tutor, babysitter, dog walker, errand runner, house worker, weed puller, couch mover, photographer, and more. As Mason likes to say, teens excel at just about everything. I guess with the exception of me since he never hires me for anything!

His website soon reached social media pages, like Instagram and Facebook, where he expanded both his slew of customers and his audience. From this, the business quickly gained momentum. Mason also started licensing his Rent a Teenager materials so teens in other towns can be their own boss and provide the same meaningful services in their community. And for a philanthropic effort, he donates 10% of his earnings to the Horace Greeley Scholarship Fund.

Rent a Teenager is at the cornerstone of discussion in my house. Ugh. And I apathetically anticipate the inevitable talk about his business at the upcoming holiday gatherings (I will shut my Zoom off if we just talk Rent A Teenager!) My extended family is so proud of his entrepreneurial skills. Hello? What about me? Of course, my mom and dad always use the opportunity to say that they already use some teenagers to help around the house–as they look skeptically at me and Mason.

Back in October, Mason creatively approached the problem of a lack of poll workers by advertising for teenage poll workers on Facebook. He boosted his posts so that they would reach parents and teens throughout the U.S. In some states you just need to be 17 to be a poll worker and now because of Rent a Teenager, teens not old enough to vote were able to meaningfully participate in politics. Mason got a lot of press coverage for this initiative.

And to prepare for the cold and snowy winter ahead, Mason plans to offer snow removal services. I bet my Dad, who is hounded by my mom to snow blow the driveway starting at 5 a.m. the day after a storm, will appreciate that. I keep trying to push Mason to start a hot chocolate business; that would be an endeavor I would support.              

As much as I’d like to rent a new brother at times, and as much as this pains me to admit, Mason has created quite a successful business for himself and I know he will do quite well studying business in college. But not as well as me, of course!

Blanketing the Town with Love

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There’s Elf on a Shelf and there’s Mensch on a Bench, but we have a “Mystery Mensch” in our midst. Mensch is the Yiddish word for a good person. Our Mystery Mensch got busy crocheting colorful throws to keep her busy since March and quarantine set in. More than a dozen of these handcrafted gifts were sent by the Mystery Mensch who had lived in Chappaqua for 20 years before relocating to Virginia.

The Mystery Mensch doesn’t necessarily know all the people she crochets for. She asked friends in Chappaqua to recommend recipients. “They have to be a good human being who does good for the community. I would ask people who they thought I should make a throw and they threw out names to me. Cristina Lee was one of them.” The Mystery Mensch would contact the recipient and ask them to send her a picture of their couch and four of their favorite colors.

“I was very grateful to be chosen,” said Cristina Lee, a founder of the Tri-State Mask Making Group. “It’s a very special gift, especially because she made it with so much love during COVID. She did it for special people and I’m honored.”

Our Mystery Mensch has a history of performing acts of kindness. The former Westchester County parole officer organized a meal train for someone who was undergoing treatment for cancer whom she only knew from Facebook. She took her to the doctor and checked in on her regularly. She was a source of comfort to this woman who says she will be forever grateful to her.

When she moved to Richmond three years ago to be near one of her children she continued to do good deeds. Last year she made scarves for first grade children in a disadvantaged school in Richmond. “I don’t have the social life I had in Chappaqua,” the Mystery Mensch explains. “I needed something to do.” She plans to crochet scarves for the Kindergarteners in the school.

Two years ago, she got involved with another project. She joined a small group of people who would meet immigrants at the Richmond bus station coming from Honduras, El Salvador and Guatemala who were on their way north from Immigration camps in Texas.

The group of volunteers brought them care packages of food, clothing and drinks.  “Many of my Chappaqua friends sent me boxes of food and treats and drinks. I couldn’t afford to keep buying things. It was my Chappaqua friends who stepped up and sent me stuff. That’s when collaboration became one of my favorite words.”

The Mystery Mensch also started what she calls “Bagel Thursday.” “I have been getting donated bagels and people come to my house and pick them up from my porch.”

Crocheting the multicolored striped throws was beneficial for the Mystery Mensch as well as the lucky recipients. “I don’t have much to do since retirement and not being able to socialize now because of COVID-19, I needed to keep busy.” She watches a lot of television while she crochets away. “I miss going out for coffee and lunch or dinner with friends.” Prior to COVID-19 she traveled a lot to visit her children and has been to South Africa since her retirement.

When asked what lessons she learned in life, she said, “I’ve learned to be humble.” That explains her wish to be anonymous for this story and sums up the Mystery Mensch quite well. An unpretentious person doing good for the pure joy of the deed. A real Mensch!

A Search for Joy in ‘Something New’

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Contemplating the Holidays Without My Extended Family

One of my brothers-in-law recently noted that the lack of family gatherings over the last seven months has thrown off his internal calendar. We have a large extended family–and it’s the celebrations and gatherings with those relatives that help mark the passage of time and distinguish one week, one month, one season from another.

If ever there was a time that we could benefit from the rhythm and joy of family gatherings, it’s now. And yet, if ever there was a time that we could benefit from staying away from each other, it’s now.

In past years: The author’s extended family at Christmas

So, what to do with the holidays? In normal years, we would host anywhere from 20 to 30-something on Thanksgiving and Christmas Eve. Our mid-century modern house isn’t huge, but its open floor plan allows everyone to be together in the same space whether cooking or engrossed in conversation. On Thanksgiving, we drag extra tables and chairs up from the garage, and each individual family contributes dishes and their labor to the effort. On Christmas, the base of the tree is smothered in gifts we exchange through Secret Santa and a hilarious Yankee Swap. I love watching the cousins of my children’s generation curl up together on our wraparound sofa like one long genetic sequence.

We are lucky: there is no embarrassing drunk uncle disrupting dinner. I am lucky: I never feel burdened by the toll of the work because there are so many hands offering help. If it sounds nauseatingly civilized, I suppose it is. I embrace the winter holidays with a passion that would provoke eye rolling among cynics, an association to which I belong the other ten months of the year.

This year with the pandemic still raging and travel fraught with peril, some of our family members are spread far enough away that they might as well live on another planet. My daughter, who just graduated from college in May, will be spending Thanksgiving in Alaska where she currently lives, returning for a week or two at Christmas. My son, a sophomore in college, is not allowed to come home for Thanksgiving unless he stays here through Christmas and winter break. So, we will be empty nesters for the first time ever at Thanksgiving. My sister recently moved to Green Bay, Wisconsin, to be with her daughter. I have two sisters-in-law who, with their families, live flights away, one in Europe. They haven’t seen any of their siblings (there are seven) or their ninety-three-year-old dad in nearly a year.

We’ve had a few conversations about the possibility of mini gatherings of six-ten. We’ve also considered the question, could Thanksgiving be held outdoors? We bought a restaurant-grade deck heater that could warm a handful of guests. But what if it rains or snows? We’re fortunate that our kids will be able to return home for Christmas. But because one will have been on a plane, the other on campus, we will likely stay clear of our extended family in December.

None of this is tragic of course–we are healthy, for now. More intimate versions of yearly traditions are hardly a disaster. The upside: a reasonable size turkey, one less tray of stuffing and more in-depth conversation.

I’ve noticed that my family and friends are careful not to complain too much about their pandemic malaise, acutely aware of the kind of emotional, physical and economic suffering that plagues so much of the country. There is guilt attached to wallowing when others have it worse. But perhaps one holiday gift we can give ourselves and those in our orbit is the freedom to acknowledge how much this has impacted us–changed us–left us without many simple joys, like connecting over a turkey and stuffing, around a tree, or to light candles.

As anyone who has had a birthday in this pandemic season understands, our celebrations this holiday season will be different–or at least they should be. And while they will be stunted, we may find in them something new, and some familiar comfort in their rhythms and joy.

Back to College Reflections ‘The Pause Button’ … and Accepting Change

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Me, just chilling at home, like I’ve been
doing for MONTHS.

Growing up, I was always that kid who called their mom to pick them up from sleepovers. I don’t know if it was because I didn’t like being away from home or because I missed my parents too much. Maybe it was a combination of both.

It’s funny because I was the one who started researching sleepaway camps and eventually found the one that my sister and I went to. I think it’s because I felt like it was something that big kids do. And yet, every phone call would end with me gulping down my tears, every visitor’s day would end with a counselor needing to calm me down and one year, every night I would fall asleep listening to my parent’s wedding song. It’s okay, laugh at me. My parents do.

When it came time for me to go away to college, I was so nervous. Would I be okay on my own? Surprisingly, I was fine! I mean, I ended up transferring but that’s a story for another time.

Like people say when relationships fall through, I’ve come to the realization that it’s not “you,” it’s me. It wasn’t where I was sleeping over or the summer camp I went to. I am just a homebody. I like having my two feet on the ground where I am most comfortable.

So when COVID hit and the world came to a halt and all college students were sent home, I really wasn’t devastated by the move.

I was made for this!

While a lot of my friends cried and were really sad to leave college, I came to terms with it pretty fast. Yes, I was sad that I’d be missing my first spring in Boston. Yes, I was sad because I finally felt like I found my groove in a new city and was finally enjoying college and it was put on pause. But…

I get to hang out with my twin sister, my parents and my dog? Sleep in my own bed? Not have to shower with shower shoes? This was a deal that I could be okay with.

Being someone that loves a routine and hates change, I found a good system at home that I have stuck with since March that consists of exercising daily, making pancakes way too often and putting most of my energy into my blog (shameless plug for operationhappinessblog.com or @operationhappinessblog on Instagram). Oh yeah, I also had online classes I had to squeeze in. But those didn’t cause any stress, just a lot of snack breaks and a severe focusing problem toward the end.

Initially, I would talk with my friends from school 24/7. It was like we never left. But as the months went on, I noticed that every day it would basically be the same: Hey, miss you! What’s new? Nothing? Same.

It became harder to talk to my friends every single day when there was literally nothing else to say. How was texting supposed to be the main form of communication I’d have with them for the next six months? Long distance is hard, especially when both parties are stuck at home doing nothing.

While I cherish my friendships greatly, if you know me, you know how important my family is to me. In high school, there were plenty of Friday nights where I said no to plans with friends because I would rather sit on the couch with my parents, eat candy and watch a movie.

Well, as you can imagine, there’s been plenty of candy eaten and plenty of couch sitting since March as a family. My parents were no longer empty nesters for a span of six months and I suddenly became attached to being home more than ever.

I was content. I couldn’t relate to the feelings of my sister or peers who were saying they just HAD to leave home and go back to school. Of course I want to go back, see my friends, decorate my apartment and eat from my favorite takeout place. I also know that if we were sent home again, I would be totally fine.

I can’t help but worry that leaving for my junior year of college is going to be much harder than leaving for school my freshman year. Things have changed. The world has changed. I’ve changed.

School is inevitably going to be different because of the times we are in. But I have a feeling that my habits will remain the same, now more than ever…me, sitting on my nonexistent couch because my apartment is the size of a toddler’s shoebox, eating candy and watching a movie with my roommates. Sorry Mom and Dad, you’ve been replaced. But I’ll be home soon.