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Jodi Baretz

Becoming Mindful Through the Challenges of COVID-19

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By Sabra Staudenmaier

 “The mind is its own place, and in itself can make a heaven of hell, and a hell of heaven.” –John Milton

Jodi Baretz (right) & Sabra Staudenmaier (left) representing the Mindful Moms at a local event this past winter.

 So, what is mindfulness, anyway?

Mindfulness starts with slowing down, and paying attention to the present moment. The goal is to calmly acknowledge and accept one’s feelings, thoughts and body sensations. They say if your thoughts are stuck in the past you will suffer from depression. If they are racing around in the future, you will have anxiety. It’s all about bringing your brain into the now. Yes, COVID-19 has turned our world upside down, but mindfulness can help us regulate our thoughts and ease our racing mind. Peace, my friends, can be found in the here and now. If we are able to remind ourselves “I am safe today. I am ok today.” We can get through this with more serenity.

Sounds good…but how exactly do I practice mindfulness?

Come into the present moment on purpose. Find a nice, quiet and calm place to sit. Start noticing your breath. Yay! You’ve started meditating! During meditation, we strengthen the “muscle” of the mind. When we focus on something in the present, like our breath, our mind will inevitably start to wonder to the thoughts that we cannot control. This is normal. Once we realize that our mind has drifted, we can bring our attention back to the present. In doing this we have completed a “rep” of building the muscle of the mind. If we do this often enough, just as if we lift a weight often enough then the muscle in our body will strengthen, the muscle of our mind also strengthens. When we fortify the muscle of the mind, we can direct attention purposefully and use conscious awareness with more competency. This is what it means to be “mindful’. We can be attentive to and aware of our mind rather than living unconsciously in patterns that don’t serve us. This is a skill, like riding a bicycle, which improves with practice.

“Mindfulness means paying attention in a particular way, on purpose, in the present moment non-judgmentally to the unfolding of experience moment to moment.” – Jon Kabat-Zinn

 I’m struggling to make sense of current circumstances

Mindfulness advocates acceptance of what is happening in the moment without trying to change it. It is tempting to try to avoid unpleasant feelings but we are human beings and as such are meant to experience the full range of human emotions -happiness, sadness, joy, loss, ease and suffering. The human experience is not meant to be easy or perfect and it’s ok if it’s not pretty. Arguing with what is creates unnecessary stress.

We cannot change the fact that this pandemic happened. Instead of resisting it, lean into it. What can we learn from this as a country? What can we learn from this personally? What will we take with us when this is done? Can this be part of our personal evolution? Mindfulness is about perception. It’s about how you choose to look at things.

“Rather than being disheartened by the uncertainty of life, what if we accepted it and relaxed into it? What if we said Yes, this is the way it is: this is what it means to be human, and decided to sit down and enjoy the ride?” – Pema Chodron

Embracing the less-than-perfect

One of my favorite parts of mindfulness is the notion of embracing imperfection. After all, to be human is to be imperfect. This doctrine is coming in very handy these days as my laundry piles up, dessert becomes breakfast and makeup fades into a luxury of the past. Using boxed hair dye is not the same as going to a professional salon, but, in the grand scheme of things, it’s good enough.

“Imperfections are not inadequacies; they are reminders that we’re all in this together.” – Brene Brown

The Beginner’s Mind

The beginner’s mind is the Buddhist concept of approaching something without preconceived notions. When we get back to our old way of life, we will be much more adept at doing this (for a time anyway). We will eat at a restaurant, go to the gym, spend time with groups of friends as if it was for the first time. We will have a renewed sense of appreciation, a comforting and hopeful prospect from a “beginner’s mind” perspective.

“In the beginner’s mind there are many possibilities, in the expert’s mind there are few” – Shunryu Suzuki

My Journey to Mindfulness

We can’t change our circumstances, but we can change our thoughts about them. Every so often something happens that shakes us and can wake us up. Ten years ago, my oldest son was diagnosed with Celiac Disease. I struggled to wrap my head around the changes needed to live with this diagnosis. My son’s doctor referred me to Jodi Baretz, a local psychotherapist with a specialty in mindfulness and health coaching. Not only did I learn how to mindfully manage my son’s new diet, but I was introduced to a whole new world. I realized that I had been living unconsciously, thinking by default and using old coping mechanisms that were no longer serving me. When I learned about mindfulness, everything changed. It was an awakening. This new way of thinking made future challenges easier to deal with, and gave me a joy and appreciation for life I had previously only imagined.

“When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves” – Viktor Frankl

The Mindful Moms

Jodi continues to be my life coach; having her support has proven invaluable. A few years ago, we began collaborating. We wanted to help others improve their quality of life through mindfulness. The result has been the development of a community of “Mindful Moms.” Individually, and through groups, we work together to support others on their personal mindfulness journeys (www.mindfulmomsgroup.com). Free zoom support calls, such as “Namaste in Bed” and “Meditation and Cocktails or Tea”, are being offered to support the community in this time of need and can be accessed via the Mindful Moms Facebook page.

When I asked Jodi what her advice was on dealing with this quarantine, she said, “Do what you can to stay safe, be there for others and be kind to yourself but let go of what you cannot control. It’s normal to have good and bad days, try and ride the wave and remember these experiences, just like your emotions, are temporary.” 

Covid-19 has shaken the world on a macro level. When circumstances shift, where do we go to find stability? Perhaps the answers lie in an unexpected place; conceivably navigating this new reality lies not in the world around us but rather within.  If ever there was a time to take charge of one’s mind and thoughts, that time has arrived.

Just like we can decide how to attend to our body with food and exercise – we can also manage our minds. With a managed mind, when circumstances change and stress arises, like the tsunami of stress Covid-19 has brought – we have tools to help make sense of it. We can think consciously and use deliberate thoughts to act with awareness. We live in the physical world, but we also live in our heads. It’s worthwhile to make both a pleasant place to be.

Sabra Staudenmaier became interested in thought management while majoring in Philosophy at Tufts University. She is the program director for the Mindful Moms Inner Circle Group and helps facilitate two Facebook Groups: @Mindful Moms www.facebook.com/groups/mindfulmoms and @Mindful Parents of New York www.facebook.com/groups/MindfulParentsofNY. She is currently training to become a life coach.

This article is a sponsored feature of The Mindful Moms Group. 

Mindful Moms Lakeside Meditation Series Continues this Summer

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At the end of a dirt path hidden on an ordinary street in Millwood there is a stretch of sand that leads to a small private lake. Every few weeks throughout the summer months this becomes the location where a group of mindful moms take their meditation practice outdoors. The beach is quaint, the lake reflects the trees, sky and clouds; the sun shimmers and sparkles over the surface of the water. It is the ideal setting to bask in the present moment.

Jodi Baretz, a mindfulness-based psychotherapist and holistic health coach, and author of the Amazon best-selling book Mindful is the New Skinny, has made it her life’s work to help people maximize joy through meditation and other mindfulness techniques. For almost a decade, she has worked to help clients with stress, food issues and relationship problems so they can feel and look their best. She offers individual therapy and coaching through The Center for Health and Healing in Mt Kisco and has pioneered several successful mindful mom’s programs, including her new program: “Club Mindful – A Gym for the Mind”.  Baretz developed the summer lake meditation series several years ago and it has grown to become a highlight on the calendars within the local mindfulness community.

“There are so many benefits to practicing mindfulness. I have become a better partner, mother and friend. I have always found water to be so calming so the lake meditations have been a wonderful addition to my mindfulness practice.” says mindful mom, Tamara Leopold from Armonk.

Inspired by the beauty and peacefulness of the private lake as well as Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction (MBSR) founder Jon Kabat-Zinn’s well-known lake meditation, Baretz facilitates her outdoor meditation program surrounded by nature’s beauty. All that is needed to participate is a towel, a bottle of water and the desire to destress. Sitting on the lake’s beach with legs crossed, eyes closed the sunshine can be soaked up. The winter is long and opportunities like this are rare and valuable.

The image of the lake evokes peace and tranquility. We are reminded that there is something larger than ourselves which allows us to find humility in the grand beauty of nature. Zinn’s meditation offers an awareness of what the lake can teach us symbolically; “carrying a vast reservoir of mindfulness within your heart, we can be the lake in silence.”

Baretz has been known to incorporate a variety of meditations into her lake series. Sometimes there is a walking meditation or a body scan meditation. She often reads inspirational parables that encourage the mindfulness practices of living in the present, practicing non-judgment, compassion and gratitude. Regardless of what form the experience takes it is a relaxing way to spend an hour doing something most people don’t get enough of. It is a time to restore and appreciate the beauty and goodness of life.

Baretz feels that “meditation takes on a whole new level when you’re outside in nature. You are able to immerse yourself and pay attention to the beauty that you normally miss by being busy.”

More information on the lake meditation series and other mindfulness programs can be found at jodibaretz.com

The Joy of Gratitude

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“If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.” – Wayne Dyer

“Instead of always searching and grasping for more, gratitude allows us to appreciate what we have now. Cultivating joy requires building the gratitude muscle as part of our daily and weekly workouts. Only in this rep-set, we ditch the wishing, complaining and striving, and refocus on noticing what is going well in our lives right now, no matter how small or seemingly insignificant.

Learning to be grateful for life’s simple pleasures can certainly improve your mood and perception of life. I recall a day when my kids were small and I was taking them to get haircuts. Once in the car, my two adorable, precious children proceeded to fight like two alley cats in a scrap yard. As I drove along and listened to this free-for-all in the back seat, I would occasionally interrupt with a “Stop it!” or “Enough already!” When that didn’t seem to be effective, I started to get annoyed and then, for some reason, amidst all the noise and frustration, I just gave up.

As the boys continued to yell and exchange insults at each other, my mood turned from annoyance to amusement. It struck me that these two little boys were not going to be young forever, and I realized how lucky I was to have these daily moments with them, no matter how stressful. This total re-frame of the situation filled me with gratitude and the rest of our outing was not just tolerable, it was fun.

Gratitude brings us joy and turns what we already have into enough. Instead of striving for the next goal to bring you happiness, appreciate where you are right now. If it’s not your ideal place, remember that it’s just one chapter in your life’s story. Everything is temporary, for better or worse. Once you catch the gratitude bug, it replicates itself and even more joy streams into your life.”

Excerpt from Jodi Baretz’ Amazon best-selling book, Mindful Is the New Skinny. Jodi offers individual psychotherapy and mindful mom groups at The Center for Health and Healing in Mount Kisco. Visit jodibaretz.com.

A Transformational Journey

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Jodi Baretz, author of the new ‘Mindful is the New Skinny,’ shared her personal growth experiences at the Chappaqua Library

By Amanda Kraus

Earlier this summer, I sat among an excited, eager crowd in the Chappaqua Library’s auditorium to listen to Jodi Baretz, psychotherapist, health coach, and author, speak about her new book, Mindful is the New Skinny: 10 Transformational Steps to a Lighter You Inside and Out. Baretz discussed the book itself as well as her personal experiences that compelled her to write it, in which she transformed “Junkfood Jodi” to “Baretz for carrots.”

Baretz began her talk with silence; she had the audience try a short meditation so that we could understand how she started her own transformational journey with mindfulness, except the first time she meditated at the Omega Institute five years ago, it was for forty-five minutes.

For Baretz, this was a torturous experience, and she wasn’t afraid to vocalize this–in fact, about half of the group felt the same way. However, over the following five days, the meditations became easier the more she practiced. Baretz explained that meditation isn’t effortless and that it requires focus. Meditation is a brain exercise by which one must acknowledge the thoughts that clutter one’s mind, and let them drift away, focusing purely on the breath.

Much like meditation, mindfulness is being able to feel and process one’s emotions in order to let them go, rather than immediately pushing them away. Baretz explained that we need to be able to deal with being uncomfortable rather than avoiding it altogether.

As a child, Baretz was a terrible eater, leading her to acquire the nickname “Junkfood Jodi.” Her diagnosis of celiac disease in 2003 triggered her transformational journey with food and nutrition, as well as mindfulness and well-being. In 2003, Baretz explained, people didn’t really know what celiac disease was, and gluten-free diets weren’t very common.

As a social worker, Baretz tried to help others with their own gluten-free eating, but soon realized that she knew nothing about nutrition. In 2010 she attended the Institute for Integrative Nutrition where she learned about the mind-body connection, and was exposed to spirituality. For Baretz, being spiritual is a holistic approach to healthy living and being while keeping up with our fast-paced lifestyles and society.

In order to portray this philosophy to others, she decided to write her book, Mindful is the New Skinny: 10 Transformational Steps to a Lighter You Inside and Out. Although Baretz discusses healthy eating and nutrition in her book, she uses the word skinny as a metaphor for perfection — external, unsustainable, and never good enough. Instead of striving for skinny, Baretz encourages being mindful, which entails accepting imperfections and the present moment. Even though the manuscript only took three months for her to write, Baretz hit a mental roadblock, dwelling in the very anxiety, stress, and frustration that she was writing about. She took a short break, acknowledged this, and started writing again with a new mindset.

Much like her book-writing process, Baretz helps women on their nutritional journeys by redirecting their focus from losing weight by dieting to mindful eating and living, which is sustainable and effective. In today’s society, social medias omnipresent and overwhelming influence fosters perfection, stress, and anxiety, mindfulness is more important than ever. “Mindfulness,” said Baretz “is the antidote.” And she’s right. Meditation is being extensively studied medically, and has been proven to affect the brain. Meditation and mindfulness make us more productive, as they allow our minds to reboot and recover from our daily stresses and tribulations. In a sentence, Baretz’s book is all about “Nourishing the inside so you can change the outside.”

Jodi is also a psychotherapist at The Center for Health and Healing in Mt. Kisco. Her book is available on Amazon and at Scattered Books in Chapapqua. Visit http://www.jodibaretz.com for more information about her various programs and events, including her mindfulness bootcamp, her meditation sessions, and speaking engagements.

Inside Press summer intern Amanda Kraus is a rising senior at Tulane University.

A Mindful Chat with Jodi Baretz

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Walking into Millwood resident Jodi Baretz’ office is like walking into a sanctuary. The atmosphere is hushed, shoes are left at the door, voices are kept to a whisper. The effect is immediately relaxing.

Baretz, 49, is a psychotherapist specializing in mindfulness and health coaching at The Center for Health and Healing, located on Smith Avenue in Mt. Kisco. She is also the author of the new book, Mindful is the New Skinny: 10 Transformational Steps to a Lighter You Inside and Out, due out this spring. Inside Chappaqua sat down to talk to her about the book as well as her own journey to mindfulness.

An Emory and Columbia University-educated therapist, Baretz has more than 20 years of clinical experience. She has spent the last five years focusing her practice on using mindfulness to overcome stress, weight loss issues and family conflicts. Mindful is the New Skinny started out as a six-week boot camp designed to introduce her patients to the practice of mindfulness.

“I wanted to create a program that would teach people how to reduce stress,” she said. “We need to change our mindset from our weight to our well-being, which is more sustainable and will help us live happier, healthier, more peaceful lives.”

Her message is geared toward helping women who are not only struggling with weight issues, but also with any family and work-related anxiety.

“As a health coach and psychotherapist, it made sense to me to write a book that encompassed the mind and body,” she said. While the book does address eating issues, it is not a weight-loss book. Rather, it looks at all aspects of life that cause stress with the goal of reducing that stress, and getting people to realize that perfection should not be a goal.

But what exactly is mindfulness? And how is mindfulness different from meditation?

As Baretz explains it, mindfulness is the awareness of your thoughts, feelings and environment. Once you acknowledge the source of what you are feeling–whether it’s hunger, anxiety, or stress–you use meditation to calm and center yourself. In effect, you are striving to create a space between a stimulus and the response.

Baretz’ own path to mindfulness began after she was diagnosed with celiac disease in her mid-thirties. Initially devastated by the diagnosis, she enrolled in a holistic nutrition program at the Institute for Integrative Nutrition in New York City to help her understand and control the disease. While there, she was introduced to the concepts of mindfulness and spirituality.

“It was a life-changing experience for me,” she said. “I started to see positive changes flow into my life, and I let go of a lot of worry and anxiety.” Since then, she has continued to study mindfulness and meditation as a way to help her patients deal with the stresses of everyday life.

Though weight issues are addressed in the book, her message is more about self-compassion and self-care, and Baretz teaches mindfulness as a way of life. As anyone who has been on a diet and failed can attest, maintaining a strict diet regimen is often impossible and almost always self-defeating.

“The book is all about nourishing yourself from the inside, so you can flourish on the outside,” she said. While many women focus on trying to be the perfect size (in our society, that means skinny), Baretz stresses that mindfulness can help switch our priority from what we look like to the acceptance of ourselves as we are, which is very empowering.

Mindfulness can also help with all aspects and relationships in your life, Baretz notes. “Mindfulness increases your capacity to deal with stress and overwhelming situations because you are learning how to calm your body and your mind,” she said. “It’s not shutting off your thoughts; rather, it’s pressing a ‘stop’ button on them so you can change your relationship toward them.” After all, we all face adversity in one way or another, and there are many things in life that are beyond our control. While we can’t control the challenges we face, mindfulness and meditation help us “struggle well,” she said. “By taming our minds and focusing on the present, we can decrease our anxiety.”

The book brings mindfulness and meditation to people who wouldn’t normally seek out a practice that does have some negative stereotypes–something only for the yoga and Zen set. But Baretz hopes that the book will open people’s minds to the power of the practice. And that, she says, is her goal.

“I love watching people transform,” she said. “When they change the way they think, their whole world changes.”

Each chapter of Mindful is the New Skinny, which is Baretz’ first book, features a meditation session that can be downloaded. The book will be available this spring/summer on Amazon in print and kindle versions, and Baretz will conduct a free book talk at the Chappaqua library upon the book’s release. Visit www.jodibaretz.com for more information on her practice, upcoming talks, as well as a sneak peek free chapter of her book.