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The Joy of Gratitude

October 25, 2018 by Jodi Baretz, LCSW, CHHC

“If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.” – Wayne Dyer

“Instead of always searching and grasping for more, gratitude allows us to appreciate what we have now. Cultivating joy requires building the gratitude muscle as part of our daily and weekly workouts. Only in this rep-set, we ditch the wishing, complaining and striving, and refocus on noticing what is going well in our lives right now, no matter how small or seemingly insignificant.

Learning to be grateful for life’s simple pleasures can certainly improve your mood and perception of life. I recall a day when my kids were small and I was taking them to get haircuts. Once in the car, my two adorable, precious children proceeded to fight like two alley cats in a scrap yard. As I drove along and listened to this free-for-all in the back seat, I would occasionally interrupt with a “Stop it!” or “Enough already!” When that didn’t seem to be effective, I started to get annoyed and then, for some reason, amidst all the noise and frustration, I just gave up.

As the boys continued to yell and exchange insults at each other, my mood turned from annoyance to amusement. It struck me that these two little boys were not going to be young forever, and I realized how lucky I was to have these daily moments with them, no matter how stressful. This total re-frame of the situation filled me with gratitude and the rest of our outing was not just tolerable, it was fun.

Gratitude brings us joy and turns what we already have into enough. Instead of striving for the next goal to bring you happiness, appreciate where you are right now. If it’s not your ideal place, remember that it’s just one chapter in your life’s story. Everything is temporary, for better or worse. Once you catch the gratitude bug, it replicates itself and even more joy streams into your life.”

Excerpt from Jodi Baretz’ Amazon best-selling book, Mindful Is the New Skinny. Jodi offers individual psychotherapy and mindful mom groups at The Center for Health and Healing in Mount Kisco. Visit jodibaretz.com.

A Transformational Journey

July 17, 2018 by Inside Press

Jodi Baretz, author of the new ‘Mindful is the New Skinny,’ shared her personal growth experiences at the Chappaqua Library

By Amanda Kraus

Earlier this summer, I sat among an excited, eager crowd in the Chappaqua Library’s auditorium to listen to Jodi Baretz, psychotherapist, health coach, and author, speak about her new book, Mindful is the New Skinny: 10 Transformational Steps to a Lighter You Inside and Out. Baretz discussed the book itself as well as her personal experiences that compelled her to write it, in which she transformed “Junkfood Jodi” to “Baretz for carrots.”

Baretz began her talk with silence; she had the audience try a short meditation so that we could understand how she started her own transformational journey with mindfulness, except the first time she meditated at the Omega Institute five years ago, it was for forty-five minutes.

For Baretz, this was a torturous experience, and she wasn’t afraid to vocalize this–in fact, about half of the group felt the same way. However, over the following five days, the meditations became easier the more she practiced. Baretz explained that meditation isn’t effortless and that it requires focus. Meditation is a brain exercise by which one must acknowledge the thoughts that clutter one’s mind, and let them drift away, focusing purely on the breath.

Much like meditation, mindfulness is being able to feel and process one’s emotions in order to let them go, rather than immediately pushing them away. Baretz explained that we need to be able to deal with being uncomfortable rather than avoiding it altogether.

As a child, Baretz was a terrible eater, leading her to acquire the nickname “Junkfood Jodi.” Her diagnosis of celiac disease in 2003 triggered her transformational journey with food and nutrition, as well as mindfulness and well-being. In 2003, Baretz explained, people didn’t really know what celiac disease was, and gluten-free diets weren’t very common.

As a social worker, Baretz tried to help others with their own gluten-free eating, but soon realized that she knew nothing about nutrition. In 2010 she attended the Institute for Integrative Nutrition where she learned about the mind-body connection, and was exposed to spirituality. For Baretz, being spiritual is a holistic approach to healthy living and being while keeping up with our fast-paced lifestyles and society.

In order to portray this philosophy to others, she decided to write her book, Mindful is the New Skinny: 10 Transformational Steps to a Lighter You Inside and Out. Although Baretz discusses healthy eating and nutrition in her book, she uses the word skinny as a metaphor for perfection — external, unsustainable, and never good enough. Instead of striving for skinny, Baretz encourages being mindful, which entails accepting imperfections and the present moment. Even though the manuscript only took three months for her to write, Baretz hit a mental roadblock, dwelling in the very anxiety, stress, and frustration that she was writing about. She took a short break, acknowledged this, and started writing again with a new mindset.

Much like her book-writing process, Baretz helps women on their nutritional journeys by redirecting their focus from losing weight by dieting to mindful eating and living, which is sustainable and effective. In today’s society, social medias omnipresent and overwhelming influence fosters perfection, stress, and anxiety, mindfulness is more important than ever. “Mindfulness,” said Baretz “is the antidote.” And she’s right. Meditation is being extensively studied medically, and has been proven to affect the brain. Meditation and mindfulness make us more productive, as they allow our minds to reboot and recover from our daily stresses and tribulations. In a sentence, Baretz’s book is all about “Nourishing the inside so you can change the outside.”

Jodi is also a psychotherapist at The Center for Health and Healing in Mt. Kisco. Her book is available on Amazon and at Scattered Books in Chapapqua. Visit http://www.jodibaretz.com for more information about her various programs and events, including her mindfulness bootcamp, her meditation sessions, and speaking engagements.

Inside Press summer intern Amanda Kraus is a rising senior at Tulane University.

A Mindful Chat with Jodi Baretz

March 8, 2018 by Bettina Prober

Walking into Millwood resident Jodi Baretz’ office is like walking into a sanctuary. The atmosphere is hushed, shoes are left at the door, voices are kept to a whisper. The effect is immediately relaxing.

Baretz, 49, is a psychotherapist specializing in mindfulness and health coaching at The Center for Health and Healing, located on Smith Avenue in Mt. Kisco. She is also the author of the new book, Mindful is the New Skinny: 10 Transformational Steps to a Lighter You Inside and Out, due out this spring. Inside Chappaqua sat down to talk to her about the book as well as her own journey to mindfulness.

An Emory and Columbia University-educated therapist, Baretz has more than 20 years of clinical experience. She has spent the last five years focusing her practice on using mindfulness to overcome stress, weight loss issues and family conflicts. Mindful is the New Skinny started out as a six-week boot camp designed to introduce her patients to the practice of mindfulness.

“I wanted to create a program that would teach people how to reduce stress,” she said. “We need to change our mindset from our weight to our well-being, which is more sustainable and will help us live happier, healthier, more peaceful lives.”

Her message is geared toward helping women who are not only struggling with weight issues, but also with any family and work-related anxiety.

“As a health coach and psychotherapist, it made sense to me to write a book that encompassed the mind and body,” she said. While the book does address eating issues, it is not a weight-loss book. Rather, it looks at all aspects of life that cause stress with the goal of reducing that stress, and getting people to realize that perfection should not be a goal.

But what exactly is mindfulness? And how is mindfulness different from meditation?

As Baretz explains it, mindfulness is the awareness of your thoughts, feelings and environment. Once you acknowledge the source of what you are feeling–whether it’s hunger, anxiety, or stress–you use meditation to calm and center yourself. In effect, you are striving to create a space between a stimulus and the response.

Baretz’ own path to mindfulness began after she was diagnosed with celiac disease in her mid-thirties. Initially devastated by the diagnosis, she enrolled in a holistic nutrition program at the Institute for Integrative Nutrition in New York City to help her understand and control the disease. While there, she was introduced to the concepts of mindfulness and spirituality.

“It was a life-changing experience for me,” she said. “I started to see positive changes flow into my life, and I let go of a lot of worry and anxiety.” Since then, she has continued to study mindfulness and meditation as a way to help her patients deal with the stresses of everyday life.

Though weight issues are addressed in the book, her message is more about self-compassion and self-care, and Baretz teaches mindfulness as a way of life. As anyone who has been on a diet and failed can attest, maintaining a strict diet regimen is often impossible and almost always self-defeating.

“The book is all about nourishing yourself from the inside, so you can flourish on the outside,” she said. While many women focus on trying to be the perfect size (in our society, that means skinny), Baretz stresses that mindfulness can help switch our priority from what we look like to the acceptance of ourselves as we are, which is very empowering.

Mindfulness can also help with all aspects and relationships in your life, Baretz notes. “Mindfulness increases your capacity to deal with stress and overwhelming situations because you are learning how to calm your body and your mind,” she said. “It’s not shutting off your thoughts; rather, it’s pressing a ‘stop’ button on them so you can change your relationship toward them.” After all, we all face adversity in one way or another, and there are many things in life that are beyond our control. While we can’t control the challenges we face, mindfulness and meditation help us “struggle well,” she said. “By taming our minds and focusing on the present, we can decrease our anxiety.”

The book brings mindfulness and meditation to people who wouldn’t normally seek out a practice that does have some negative stereotypes–something only for the yoga and Zen set. But Baretz hopes that the book will open people’s minds to the power of the practice. And that, she says, is her goal.

“I love watching people transform,” she said. “When they change the way they think, their whole world changes.”

Each chapter of Mindful is the New Skinny, which is Baretz’ first book, features a meditation session that can be downloaded. The book will be available this spring/summer on Amazon in print and kindle versions, and Baretz will conduct a free book talk at the Chappaqua library upon the book’s release. Visit www.jodibaretz.com for more information on her practice, upcoming talks, as well as a sneak peek free chapter of her book.

Finding Peace, Love & Unity in Divisive Times

December 1, 2017 by Jodi Baretz, LCSW, CHHC

Holidays are supposed to be a festive time of year, but with all the political divisiveness, natural disasters and even terrorism in downtown Manhattan yet again, it has become difficult to maintain a sense of calm or contentment. The endless news cycles and social media frenzies have us outraged, but at the same time, desensitized us to the horrors that occur in the world. How do we set aside the screens, and engage in productive and constructive conversations with our family and friends when we are so divided? And, how can we find peace and happiness in such stressful times?

Find Common Ground

Focusing on things we can agree on, make it easier to come to an understanding on the issues in which we don’t see eye to eye. Everything is not black and white; there are plenty of grey areas. The idea is to find those areas where you may overlap. If you ask good questions, you will discover common values. Don’t approach the dialogue as being all or nothing; you don’t have to be “with someone” or “against them.” Don’t think us versus them. Have an open mind.

Be Curious, Pause and Observe

Mindfulness can help by increasing our awareness of how stress affects us. When we are stressed, we become reactive and quick to respond, especially with our families. Take time to pause when you are triggered by something or someone; then focus on the thoughts that accompany those feelings. Ask yourself: am I putting my own judgments on top of this experience? Am I making assumptions or jumping to conclusions? Drop into your body and notice where you are feeling the stress, anxiety or anger. Is it in your chest, throat, or belly? If you get out of your head and into your body, the feeling will shift. Pause before you respond. Give yourself some space.

Cultivate Compassion

My famous line is that we are all doing the best we can. Some friends give me a lot of grief for that line, but I truly believe we are doing our best with the information and experience we have. When others act out with anger and hurtful behavior, it usually comes from a place of pain. What did that person experience to make them act a certain way? Rarely is it personal. You don’t need to condone the hurtful behavior, but at least try and understand from where it is coming. When our anger turns to compassion and understanding, we become more peaceful. We actually can empathize with their pain, and realize it’s not about us.

Another way to build your empathy muscle is to try and send positive thoughts to those you don’t particularly care for, or with whom you are angry. This is not an easy task, but will also cultivate compassionate and allow you to become a more peaceful person. After all, if they suffer less, so will you. This does not mean we don’t fight for what we believe, and allow others to walk all over us, we are just in a better place to be able to respond appropriately.

See the Good

The holiday season can be busy and stressful, but take time to find the joy. See the good in people. We are all inextricably connected, and have moments of shared joy and shared pain, which unite us. Many of us felt the collective pain after Hillary lost the election, but also participated in the shared, fun experiences at the various community events in town. The way people helped each other around the country after the hurricanes regardless of political beliefs was incredible, and the way we rally around people in need in this community is just as heartening.

Just scroll through Chappaqua Moms, to see the compassion of the community helping those in need, (despite some of the other posts on there). Noticing moments like this bring us together as a nation and as a community, regardless of political beliefs and election results. So, this holiday season, whether you’re shopping at ICD or Squires, eating lunch at Le Jardin du Roi or having coffee at Tazza; look up from your phone and really notice the people around you. See the good, and have faith in humanity. Even though we may disagree, we are still very much connected.

Happy holidays!

Graceful Gratitude

October 21, 2016 by Inside Press

By Grace Bennett

I recently started a “Mindfulness Boot Camp” with Jodi Baretz, whose etcetera column in this edition is an excellent reflection on gratitude. I’m not sure I can add more value on the subject than Jodi, but interesting to note: Jodi explained to our group that feeling grateful may not come naturally at all.

In fact, she said that us humans harbor a “negativity bias,” meaning we’re more likely to focus on the one negative aspect of say, a vacation, than on the many positive aspects of the experience. Similarly, in relationships, one negative experience can cast a shadow on an overall positive pairing, or one annoying personality trait might be your obsessive focus on an otherwise wonderful person.

As my mom might have put it, people like to kvetch…a lot. Seems we have to practice being more mindful about feeling grateful! So I’m going to share just a few things I’m feeling grateful for today:

To fresh starts, professionally speaking. Like the redesign of this magazine. Chappaqua’s Lisa Samkoff came on board to give our Inside pubs a more contemporary look. We hope you agree that it has been a successful effort. Grateful for other key support from Caroline Rosengarden and Andrew Vitelli, and for all our contributors and of course, sponsors, to each edition.
The exciting new theatre productions underway at the Horace Greeley Theater Company. Rehearsals are underway for ‘Into the Woods,” directed by Jonathan Gellert. Tickets are on sale for the Nov. 17-19 performances. For more information, visit
Cast members of “Into the Woods”

http://www.greeleytheater.tix.com
To the power of the written word. I’m thrilled that seven courageous girls took time out this summer to express to the community at large their smart and passionate thoughts about the election while pondering their neighbor’s incredible journey. I’m grateful to Dr. Keri Walsh, who brought her writing program at the Greeley House this past summer to my attention.
My ‘get fit’ journey at the Saw Mill Club in Mount Kisco. I announced on Facebook recently that I’d gained too much weight over the last year. I’m grateful for the opportunity to train twice a week with a wonderfully engaging personal trainer, Sarah Eichorn. She’s making a huge difference in how I feel both physically and mentally in these empty nest years. The changes in how I look and feel are showing in little increments, and I’m embracing Sarah’s belief that a positive journey is as important to my well-being and long term success as any weight loss I experience. I’ll be writing more about this special experience in the next edition, too!