The Inside Press

Magazines serving the communities of Northern Westchester

Family

Back to College Reflections ‘The Pause Button’ … and Accepting Change

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Me, just chilling at home, like I’ve been
doing for MONTHS.

Growing up, I was always that kid who called their mom to pick them up from sleepovers. I don’t know if it was because I didn’t like being away from home or because I missed my parents too much. Maybe it was a combination of both.

It’s funny because I was the one who started researching sleepaway camps and eventually found the one that my sister and I went to. I think it’s because I felt like it was something that big kids do. And yet, every phone call would end with me gulping down my tears, every visitor’s day would end with a counselor needing to calm me down and one year, every night I would fall asleep listening to my parent’s wedding song. It’s okay, laugh at me. My parents do.

When it came time for me to go away to college, I was so nervous. Would I be okay on my own? Surprisingly, I was fine! I mean, I ended up transferring but that’s a story for another time.

Like people say when relationships fall through, I’ve come to the realization that it’s not “you,” it’s me. It wasn’t where I was sleeping over or the summer camp I went to. I am just a homebody. I like having my two feet on the ground where I am most comfortable.

So when COVID hit and the world came to a halt and all college students were sent home, I really wasn’t devastated by the move.

I was made for this!

While a lot of my friends cried and were really sad to leave college, I came to terms with it pretty fast. Yes, I was sad that I’d be missing my first spring in Boston. Yes, I was sad because I finally felt like I found my groove in a new city and was finally enjoying college and it was put on pause. But…

I get to hang out with my twin sister, my parents and my dog? Sleep in my own bed? Not have to shower with shower shoes? This was a deal that I could be okay with.

Being someone that loves a routine and hates change, I found a good system at home that I have stuck with since March that consists of exercising daily, making pancakes way too often and putting most of my energy into my blog (shameless plug for operationhappinessblog.com or @operationhappinessblog on Instagram). Oh yeah, I also had online classes I had to squeeze in. But those didn’t cause any stress, just a lot of snack breaks and a severe focusing problem toward the end.

Initially, I would talk with my friends from school 24/7. It was like we never left. But as the months went on, I noticed that every day it would basically be the same: Hey, miss you! What’s new? Nothing? Same.

It became harder to talk to my friends every single day when there was literally nothing else to say. How was texting supposed to be the main form of communication I’d have with them for the next six months? Long distance is hard, especially when both parties are stuck at home doing nothing.

While I cherish my friendships greatly, if you know me, you know how important my family is to me. In high school, there were plenty of Friday nights where I said no to plans with friends because I would rather sit on the couch with my parents, eat candy and watch a movie.

Well, as you can imagine, there’s been plenty of candy eaten and plenty of couch sitting since March as a family. My parents were no longer empty nesters for a span of six months and I suddenly became attached to being home more than ever.

I was content. I couldn’t relate to the feelings of my sister or peers who were saying they just HAD to leave home and go back to school. Of course I want to go back, see my friends, decorate my apartment and eat from my favorite takeout place. I also know that if we were sent home again, I would be totally fine.

I can’t help but worry that leaving for my junior year of college is going to be much harder than leaving for school my freshman year. Things have changed. The world has changed. I’ve changed.

School is inevitably going to be different because of the times we are in. But I have a feeling that my habits will remain the same, now more than ever…me, sitting on my nonexistent couch because my apartment is the size of a toddler’s shoebox, eating candy and watching a movie with my roommates. Sorry Mom and Dad, you’ve been replaced. But I’ll be home soon.

The Corona Chronicles: The Good, The Bad and The Ugly

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Creative pursuits: A lemonade stand with proceeds going to frontline healthcare workers

This past February my neighbor and I drove to the city with our kids to see National Geographic Encounter’s Ocean Odyssey. As we sped down the Saw Mill, she asked me if I’ve been following the news about a new virus called COVID-19 that originated in China and was now raging through Italy. Yes, I had heard murmurings but the illness was somewhere else not on our shores. “Buy toilet paper, Purell and plenty of wine,” she said. Thank goodness for well-informed neighbors.

Now that my kids have completed iLearning, I’ve had the time to reflect on how COVID has impacted our family. Each family has had their own struggles living in the “new normal” and this is a glimpse into ours.

The Good

Let’s start with the good. Life pre-COVID, our life was in the fast lane–running from one activity to the next from after school activities to birthday parties to playdates. COVID put that to an abrupt halt and our lives have slowed down significantly. My mom always admonishes me saying that we run ourselves ragged. “You didn’t have a million after school activities and you turned out ok.” Hmm, maybe she has a point.

Isolation forces your kids to come up with their own entertainment when they weren’t on devices. I’ve enjoyed watching my kid’s creativity blossom from making a lemonade stand to raise money for frontline healthcare workers to devising carnival day in our house, my kids have created fun options that don’t even cost a cent. Having weekends devoid of activities, we’ve had a chance to explore treasures in our backyard with hikes at Ward Pound Ridge and Pruyn Sanctuary.

We’ve had more time together and one of the best things about this has been our ability to have dinner as a family every night. With my husband’s long hours in the office and frequent business trips, we sometimes managed to only have dinner as a family once or twice a week and I’ve always wanted more of them – but be careful what you wish for. I’m up to my eyeballs in dirty dishes with everyone home 24/7.

The Bad

I am not a patient person and some of my most harrowing moments of this pandemic has been iLearning. I realize how fortunate I am – I haven’t lost loved ones or have a job that puts my life at risk during this pandemic but iLearning has tested every fabric of my being. I had to sit down with my first grader for almost every assignment, prod my fourth grader into completing assignments and then harass my sixth grader daily who at first showed the most promise with iLearning but then lost motivation after it extended beyond anyone’s wildest imaginations. The yelling, the crying, the role of being the resident nag–it was all too much. And all this fighting was going on with my husband in his home office trying to be on conference calls. “My clients are wondering why WWIII is going on in the background,” he said so many times I lost count. So I let my kids go back to playing Fortnite as default entertainment.

The lack of planning for a dinner with the grandparents or a trip to a museum in the city has filled me with sadness. It’s this lack of possibilities and planning for the future that I am mourning most during COVID which leads to the ugly section.

The Ugly

The lack of predictably with COVID and who will fall victim to it scares me. Right now with the NY infection rate hovering at 1% as we go to print, I feel like we are in a “sweet spot”. It’s only a matter of time though before it gets worse again according to epidemiologists. And so I wonder should I stock up again on canned beans and Clorox wipes?

Each morning I scan the New York Times headlines. Never before have I felt so hopeless about our future. The politicization of mask wearing, the high infection rates in the Sun Belt, the double-digit unemployment numbers and the racial disparities in how this disease is affecting our nation, it’s too much to absorb. I now shut down after reading for a half hour instead of compulsively reading like I did in the early stages of the pandemic. And each afternoon while I hash out the day’s headlines with my neighbor in my cul-de-sac during a “COVID cocktail hour”, I’m grateful she suggested in February that I stock up on wine.

Local High School and Middle School Students Respond to the Impact of a Pandemic

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On January 20th, the first case of COVID-19, the disease caused by the new strain of coronavirus, was reported in the United States. Ever since then, reports of cases continue to grow exponentially with states all around the country shutting down schools and workplaces.  Hospitals throughout the County in hard hit New York are preparing for an onslaught of cases as virus testing ramps-up and have begun to repurpose their facilities to treat coronavirus patients. On March 18th, President Trump signed the Families First Coronavirus Response Act which expanded access to testing, food and medical aid.

According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, the virus is thought to spread mainly from person-to-person or from contact with contaminated surfaces. Due to this, both secondary schools and higher education institutions all around New York have been shuttered and are being replaced by remote or distance learning. The CDC has also introduced the concept of social distancing and self-quarantine within towns and communities in order to prevent the spread of the disease. At the individual level, this means maintaining a personal distance of six-to-ten feet while in a public space. At the community level, it means banning large gatherings in places of worship, restaurants, sporting events and gyms to mention a few.

Social distancing is widely supported and is quickly becoming the norm in many households. However, many people are experiencing feelings of isolation in their homes.

Caroline Gershman, a junior at Horace Greeley High School is one of them. While being self-quarantined in her house, she realizes that there are restrictions from many of the daily activities she used to partake in.

“Quarantine wasn’t so bad at first because it just felt like a long vacation. Now, I feel a little trapped because I’ve barely seen my friends or done any of the normal activities that I would’ve done to pass the time,” Gershman asserts. “The worst part is probably knowing that this could go on for an undetermined amount of time.”

However some others are not experiencing the feelings of confinement that Gershman is describing as internet use explodes. For that reason alone, Ethan Wecksell, a sixth grader at Bell Middle School, hasn’t felt the effects of self-quarantining. “On the weekdays I use Zoom to talk to my friends and teachers. I don’t feel the need to cope with quarantining yet. Because I’m talking to my friends over Zoom, my life hasn’t really changed.” With the increased amount of time students are spending at home, it is worth questioning whether they are spending more time with family members. “The ratio of time I spend with my family members to time on screens is 7 to 3, but there is also a gray zone where I am on the screens with my family members.”

Regardless of the dramatic changes to their daily lives, people are discovering how their daily routines have changed during this unprecedented period.

Town resident, Cat Wecksell describes how being at home all day made her reflect on how she lived her life.

“Things are less rushed around the house and I do feel like we have had a moment to exhale. Even just reading some of my activity cancellations makes me realize how much I was running around and taking them places, and how hectic that was.” She also describes how being in quarantine at home impacts her familial relationships. “I really try to strike a balance for family time. There are times we all are together, but also time to be apart which I think is very important, especially under these conditions. Also, we are having dinner together every night – actually almost every meal together. Before we would try to have dinner a few times a week together but sometimes people had activities and we had to be divided at dinner time.”

Zain Jafar furthers his passion for golfing during the school shutdown. Photo Credit: Zain Jafar

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

However, both school closures and social distancing are creating feelings of disappointment among high school seniors looking forward to graduation and prom. Zain Jafar, a senior at Horace Greeley, explains how social distancing has impacted him. “I think I speak for any senior currently when I say this entire situation has really brought an abrupt stop to our senior year. For many of us, the next few months were supposed to be a euphoric stream of lasting memories. There was so much to look forward to.” However, he also sees the silver lining: “One advantage of the quarantine is that I’ve been able to be in the company of my family, without the normal distractions. It’s really nostalgic: I feel like a little kid again, happily watching movies and playing board games with my parents and my siblings. Something about that feels right just before I leave for college.”

The COVID-19 virus and its impacts on broad swaths of society is unprecedented in modern times. The responses and actions not only as a local community, but as a nation during this period will allow us to reflect on the lessons that can be learned in order that we can all be better prepared for possible future occurrences.

Area Journalist Diagnosed COVID-19 Positive and Quarantined with Family

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March 19, 2020, Mount Kisco, NY–On Monday, March 16, I was on deadline for the Inside Press, covering the hasty switch local restaurants were asked to make by 8 p.m. to takeout and delivery service only, as coronavirus containment measures grew in severity here in Westchester County.

It was a sad article to write, as I attempted to speak with restaurant owners and managers who were busy, worried, and upset about the impact on their employees. As a former waitress and bartender, I was worried for them too. As a longtime reporter, I knew the community needed to follow this kind of news in as close to real time as possible, so they could see the impact on their favorite establishments and possibly help mitigate it with extra patronage. Due to the time crunch, and the need for social distancing, I conducted these interviews by phone and filed the article as quickly as I could.

Later, as I was doing laundry and tidying up around my house in Mount Kisco, I started to feel a little under the weather. Nothing major, just achy, with a headache. Maybe I felt a chill. I couldn’t take my temperature because our thermometer had broken and there hasn’t been a thermometer to be found in Mount Kisco for some time now.

I put another load in the dryer and called it a day, telling my husband that I hoped I wasn’t coming down with the flu.

The next day–St. Patrick’s Day–I decided to basically stay in bed. My kids are older now, so the college students home working remotely could keep an eye on the sixth grader. I asked my daughter Regina, a freshman at Baruch College-who’s still coming to terms with the cancellation of her softball season-to throw the corned beef in the crockpot and assigned the Irish soda bread to 14-year-old Ted.

Later, I woke up from a nap with chest pain. I have a minor cardiac condition, but I didn’t want to go to the hospital unless it was absolutely necessary since all resources are needed to fight the coronavirus. Instead, I called my internist’s office at Caremount first–my doctor said I had to go in.

Pretty soon I was at Northern Westchester Hospital, where I was handed a mask at the front door, and once in back, I was quickly surrounded by people in masks, clear face shields and yellow gowns. They efficiently got my heart issue under control and swabbed up both nostrils, testing for flu and COVID-19.

I was told I’d be there at least overnight, so they could keep an eye on my cardiac activity, and I was settled in on the sixth floor in isolation, connected to a heart monitor that never showed a problem after my initial treatment.

Today, 48 hours later, I’m lying in bed at home, a 50-year-old woman on day one of a 14-day quarantine that includes my entire family of nine (yes, my husband and I have seven kids.)

My test results only came back this morning, as I was preparing to be discharged. I was shocked that they were positive. Although I have asthma, my lungs had remained resolutely clear throughout my stay, checked often by skilled and kind nurses, and I’m still breathing well right now. My temperature hasn’t been over 100 degrees and is currently normal.

A cardiologist and an internist at NWH judged me well enough to be sent home and weather out the course of this illness with my family. One of the nurses supplied me with a thermometer that had been used on me, otherwise slated for disposal, and made me enough copies of a symptom log sheet to keep track of my whole crew.

By this time, just two days after I entered NWH, six of us are feeling sub-par and are in as much isolation as we can manage, but no one seems dangerously ill. The flu is much worse than what the Kelleys are experiencing so far with COVID-19–a little coughing, aches, fatigue and headaches.

My husband and kids won’t be tested. Both the doctor at NWH and the kids’ pediatrician asked that we operate under the assumption that they have it and monitor any symptoms to make sure no one has to go to the hospital. Nat, 24, spent all day yesterday sacked out, barely moving, but today is eating pancakes and sitting up reading to pass the time. He has special needs, so he keeps talking to me from across the hall, trying to convince me that because he feels better it’s okay if he leaves the room. No dice!

My daughters aren’t too debilitated to FaceTime friends and request coffee delivery from healthy brothers (left outside a closed door, of course.)

When I was told my test was positive, I picked up my phone and checked the Shoprite app, knowing I’d need food delivered. But all the spots were taken. Yes, we’ve done some stocking up–mostly because my husband took this whole thing seriously way before I did. But nine people eat an incredible amount of food, and a 14-day quarantine is quite different than social isolation, which now seems to me a lifestyle of enviable freedom.

Thankfully, family and friends have already offered meals and checked to see what they can get me at the store. Right after I arrived home, a friend from Katonah dropped packages of disinfectant wipes in my mailbox–another friend is currently cooking for us. Many of my older sons’ friends, guys in their twenties, have been texting in, offering to pick up whatever we need.

There’s a lot we don’t know right now. Will we flatten the curve? When will our economy rebound? When can we once more mingle freely with family, friends and co-workers?

I don’t know. I wish I did. I only have a few bits of knowledge to share from my brief initial experience with COVID-19: no one in my family is very sick, so far. I’m the only one with any of the comorbidities I’ve seen mentioned in the news, and I’m well enough to write this article (lying down.) Medical professionals have assured me that they think my family will be fine, and they’ve given me the tools I need to ascertain whether we need further care.

Our local hospital is well-run and reliable. The people who work there are not only friendly and dedicated, but inspire confidence with their professionalism and expertise, and I pray the curve flattens enough not to overwhelm them.

As an aside, the hospital is also continuously customer-service oriented; I was given a mini-loaf of banana bread tied up in a bow at discharge, attached to a card that says: “From our family to yours.”

Not in 14 days, but in some weeks or months more–who knows how many–I very much hope to write the article for Inside Press about the resurgence of the local restaurant business.

Until then, everyone, from my family to yours–stay home and stay safe.

Pre COVID-19: Author Amy Kelley on a happier day in New York City

 

Loving the Lake and So Much More About Windmill Farm

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The Windmill Farm section of Armonk has much to offer including unspoiled natural beauty, winding roads and wildlife. Windmill Farm, originally known as Windmill Manor, was the sprawling estate of Dr. Charles Paterno. His son Carlo developed the land into a residential community in the 1940’s. The neighborhood features the Windmill Club, historic windmills and a breathtaking landscape.

The Benerofe family has called Windmill Farm home for nine years. Jenni is a chef and owner of The Balaboosta Chef, offering private and group cooking classes, Jory is Vice President of Creative Strategy for Vineyard Vines, daughter Noa is 12 and son Levin is 10. One of the reasons the family moved to Armonk was to be close to family. “We were also attracted to the small town vibe, top-notch schools, larger plots of land and the built-in, lakeside social life that living in Windmill Farm allows,” says Jenni. 

Access to the Windmill Club has given the Benerofes opportunities to form lasting friendships with many neighbors. Jenni says, “Our entire family has made such special memories as well as lifelong friendships during summers spent at the lake at the Windmill Club.” The Windmill Club offers amenities such as lake swimming, tennis, basketball and a newly-renovated clubhouse. The Benerofes take advantage of the neighborhood’s outdoor spaces as well. “Living in a neighborhood where we can be physically active outdoors is really important to us. You’ll find us running through the streets of our neighborhood and taking our kids on hikes along the trails in Westmoreland Sanctuary,” says Jenni.

Windmill Farm neighbors love to socialize but especially come together in times of need. In addition to the many pot luck dinners, BBQ’s, holiday parties and more, neighbors are there for one another. As Jenni says, “I’m proud to live in a community that is infinitely helpful and compassionate in times of crisis. Our neighborhood always comes through with meal trains, carpools and donations when needed.” The family also participates in and donates services to the Stayin’ Alive 5K Fun Run, held each spring at the Windmill Club, raising grant money for the First Responders of Northern Westchester. Adding up everything the area has to offer Jenni states, “All of these things make living in Armonk so special!”