remembrance

Remembering My Dad

May 31, 2019 by Marlene Kern Fischer

This Father’s Day, my family will be celebrating my husband, who is an amazing father. But I will also be thinking about my father, who passed away four years ago.

A little about my dad …

My father was born in Budapest, Hungary in 1932. When the Nazis invaded Hungary in 1944, both his parents were taken to Auschwitz. He was interned in a ghetto and lived with an aunt and a cousin, surviving under the protection of Swedish diplomat Raoul Wallenberg. His mother escaped during a death march, running away into the woods and eventually returned to Hungary. His father died at Auschwitz in the gas chambers.

My dad emigrated to Canada after the war ended with a group of Hungarian teens who had lost parents in the war–his mother eventually emigrated there, as well. He attended McGill University, met my mom who was visiting relatives in Montreal, and moved to New York when they married. He worked as an engineer and was able to get his Master’s degree from Columbia University at night.

Although the Holocaust certainly shaped my father, he tried hard not to let it define him and he rarely spoke of the atrocities he witnessed. He made sure to live life fully, enjoying good food, wine and music. He was quick to laugh, especially at his own brand of dad humor. My father embraced his adopted country and was deeply grateful for the freedoms and opportunities afforded him here.

Having been born in different countries and in different eras, my father and I saw things from different perspectives. He was a staunch Republican, whereas I am a liberal Democrat. When I was a little girl, he would take me into the voting booth with him and teach me the importance of voting, telling me how lucky we were to live in a democracy. I always vote and when I choose my candidates, I think of him.

Although I thought of my father as more of a math/science guy, he was also more than proficient in writing–in fact he was able to edit my essays in high school and correct my grammar–pretty impressive for someone whose first language was not English. He was my first Scrabble opponent–he never went easy on me. Although it took me two years to beat him, when I finally did, he was as excited as I was.

Despite losing his own father at a young age, my dad knew how to be a good father. He taught my brother and me how to ride a bike, fish, ice skate, swim and play chess, which was a passion of his. He got up in the middle of the night with me when I was sick and dried my tears when I cried—he couldn’t bear to see me sad. He taught me a lot about nurturing and made me feel safe. When he held me in the ocean when I was a little girl, I knew I would be protected against the crashing waves.

My father was thrilled to become a grandfather and was delighted to be able to attend all five of his grandsons’ bar mitzvahs. Although he was mostly confined to a wheelchair for my youngest son’s bar mitzvah, he did manage get up so that he could have one dance with me.

When he got sick with Parkinson’s disease, he rarely complained, accepting his fate with quiet grace and even humor. In fact, a few days before he died, a nurse asked him if he was comfortable, to which he replied, “I make a living.” And even in such a compromised state, he managed to chuckle.

I would be remiss if I didn’t mention my father’s thriftiness, which was legendary. If saving money were an Olympic sport, he would’ve been a gold medalist. He would turn off the air conditioner on summer nights and turn down the heat in the winter. To this day, when I leave a light on, I can hear his admonishment in my head. And every time I spend three dollars on my iced coffee, I am pretty sure he does a little roll in his grave.

I suppose that’s how it is with all the people we love. We never forget them or the things they taught us. We are reminded of them in the special moments and in the ordinary moments. They live on through the people they loved and who loved them back.

Happy Father’s Day to all the dads who are with us and to those who live on in our hearts.

Rosenthal JCC to Dedicate Butterfly Garden in Memory of Dr. Eric Levy on May 31st

May 26, 2015 by The Inside Press

Garden promotes the Gardening/Nature program of the Early Childhood Center Preschool

On Sunday, May 31, at 4 p.m., the Levy family of Bedford, NY will be dedicating the Dr. Eric Levy Butterfly Garden as a gift to the Rosenthal JCC of Northern Westchester in Pleasantville, NY. Dr. Levy passed away in 2014 and on behalf of his wife Marnie and their two children, Jake and Emily, and their families, they have created and are dedicating this living memorial — a beautiful butterfly garden in his honor and as an act of remembrance.

“Our families have tried very hard to cope and heal from this tragedy. Our hope is that this garden will not only be an enhancement to our existing Gardening Program but also an environment of peace and tranquility for all those who visit it,” said Marnie Levy.

The new garden space is intended to promote a communal expression of Jewish values, identity, and spirituality. It will provide a laboratory for living and learning nature programs. In the Rosenthal JCC preschool classrooms, the children are currently learning about the process of metamorphosis and experiencing the butterfly lifecycle. Every classroom has a butterfly habitat and new books about butterflies. The children will watch the caterpillars eat and grow to 10 times their original size. They will observe the change into a chrysalides and finally emerge as beautiful butterflies to complete the entire cycle of metamorphosis.

The butterflies will be released into the garden on May 31^st at the Dedication Ceremony at 4 p.m.

In addition, the Butterfly Garden is part of a fundraising effort to support the robust Gardening/Farm-to-Table Program at the Rosenthal JCC. A walkway leading to the garden is being created and paving stones are available for purchase in memory or in celebration of a loved one. Pavers are available in varying sizes and prices for the “Let it Grow Butterfly Garden” and can be purchased on-line (www.rosenthaljcc.org/butterflygarden). Each paver can be engraved with a sentiment of one to three lines depending on the size of the paver.

“Eric was a loyal husband, devoted father, brilliant physician, and loving son, brother, uncle and friend. He loved nature and would have been so proud of this garden. Please join us for this meaningful experience and wonderful event.”

To RSVP to the dedication event, please contact Ann Pardes, Director of Early Childhood Education at ann@rosenthaljcc.org or 914-741-0333 x21. Refreshments will be served and families are welcome.

Hope, Not Hate

May 25, 2015 by The Inside Press

Betty Knoop and her work with the Holocaust &  Human Rights Education Center’s Speakers Bureau

Large photo: Abraham and Clara Knoop. Smaller photos: also Betty’s mother, Clara Knoop

Article and Photos by Marianne A. Campolongo

Anne Frank has always been one of my heroines. Armonk resident Betty Knoop, who survived the unspeakable horrors of the Bergen-Belsen concentration camp where Anne Frank and 50,000 others met their death, has now joined that heroine list.

Knoop, originally a Dutch citizen, grew up in Amsterdam. Though the two never met, like Frank, her childhood was cut short by the Nazis and she eventually was taken to the Bergen-Belsen concentration camp. Unlike Frank, she survived.

Although her story is not as well known as Frank’s, hundreds of area students, civic group members, synagogue and church-goers have heard Knoop speak about her experiences over the past 45 years, most recently as part of the Speakers Bureau at the Holocaust & Human Rights Education Center in White Plains. She is one of 20 survivors and liberators who share their message of hope and determination. Said Millie Jasper, the Center’s Executive Director, “You must be an ‘upstander’ not a bystander. When you see something, you need to speak up.” That is their message.

“Betty is a brilliant woman and she has a full life,” said Jasper. “Almost all of our survivors have full lives, families and no room in their lives for hate,” she adds.

This past April marked 70 years since Knoop, her parents and brother were liberated from Bergen-Belsen. Then, 14 years-old, 5’ 7” tall and weighing only 54 pounds, she has since grown into a strong, cheerful, lovely woman who still does yoga twice a week, is quick to offer a visitor coffee and hospitality, and who drives herself all over the region to share her story and a message of hope with her audience. “I should thank God on my knees every day,” she said.

She first spoke in public about her experiences 25 years after her liberation. Having asked her Rabbi at the Rye Community Synagogue to say Kaddish for her family, he asked that she speak to his confirmation class that night in return.

“How do you want me to do this?” she asked.

“Go back to your very first memories,” he told her.

“I still speak like that,” she said, recalling her childhood fears as she picked up on the anxiety of the adults around her when the Germans arrived, but then headed out to play the next minute, forgetting the anxiety as children are wont to do. “When I talk, I’m there again,” she said.

Knoop attended the Wilhelmina Catharina School in Amsterdam. Her eyes light up as she describes the “huge wooden front doors and beautiful vestibule. I thought it was chic,” she said. Although the Netherlands was neutral, nevertheless the Germans invaded, occupying the country in May 1940, when Knoop was nine. Jewish pupils were forbidden to attend school, but “my school didn’t want to give up their children.” No longer safe for them to enter through those front doors, they arrived surreptitiously via a back alley. “Classes got smaller daily because children had gone into hiding, left the country, or been picked up. We lost teachers too,” she sighed.

Three years later, Knoop’s family was taken to Westerbork in January 1943 and on to Bergen-Belsen in February 1944. As the forced evacuations of camps closer to the front began in late 1944, a barracks that held 50 people when she arrived suddenly held 1,000 people, and scarce food became nearly non-existent, she said. The crematorium there was small, so the bodies of those who starved to death were left for long periods. Records show the camp’s population went from 7,300 in July 1943 to 60,000 in April 1945. Prisoners went for days without food. When the British arrived to free them, “I looked like Olive Oyl with my head shaven. I was all arms and legs,” she said. Her mother, age 36, died just three days after they were freed.  “I’m happy that I had my mother with me,” she said, though she is saddened that “the time I remember her best unfortunately were the war years.”

After graduating from high school at 19, her father wanted her to visit family in South Africa. “I had come from Apartheid. I didn’t want to go there,” she said. When her stepmother’s cousin invited her to New York, she jumped at the chance, vowing she would only return to Holland on vacation once she left. Coming to the U.S. in 1950, she stayed, meeting and marrying her soon after. Though surprised and distressed by race relations in the U.S., she was happy in America.

Knoop has been back to Holland many times, visiting family and friends, but even now she finds walking through the city “painful.”

Early on in the war, she told her father that she hated the Germans. Her father replied, “Hate is a word that has to go out of your vocabulary,” a lesson she took to heart.

Most of those in the Speaker’s Bureau are now in their 80s and 90s, so the Holocaust Center has a group of about 75 children and grandchildren of survivors, called Generation Forward, whom they are training to carry on their work.

Now widowed, Knoop raised her three children in Rye, but has lived in Armonk for eight years. Her son Gregg, who intends to take up his mother’s mantle and join Generation Forward, also lives in town with his wife and two sons, Zachary and Jason. Her son Henri lives in White Plains and her daughter Clara, named for her grandmother, lives in Florida.

Although she was only 12 when she was taken to the camps, and even younger when the German occupation began, Knoop says she doesn’t like to speak of her experiences to young children, believing 15 or 16 is a better age. When asked to sum up her message in a few sentences, she said, “That racism is evil. It’s always evil and it debases men.”

Marianne A. Campolongo is a freelance writer and photographer from Chappaqua, New York. Her website is www.campyphotos.com

Remembering and  Honoring Soldiers:  A Special Memorial Day Celebration

April 22, 2015 by The Inside Press

Eagle Scouts flanked by veterans at the American Legion Memorial Day Ceremony

By Miriam Longobardi • Photos by Sam Morell

To many people Memorial Day means a long weekend, family barbeques and spending time with friends. American flags are put up all throughout town as well as on the graves of over two hundred soldiers buried in North Castle. Maintaining the flags at the graves is a tradition that dates back to the Revolutionary War. Still, over the years fewer people are taking the time to actually reflect on the true meaning of the holiday.

American Legion Post 1097 in Armonk has a Memorial Day Ceremony each year at their site next to the police station and it is open to the public. Veteran Tony Cicia shared that this event used to draw thousands of people, but the crowd has grown considerably smaller over the years–down to approximately one hundred fifty people–and this concerns him. “The trouble is, the world forgets,” he said.

The Memorial Day Ceremony includes many town groups, such as the Elks Club, Eagle Scouts and the Civil Air Patrol as the color guard. The Byram Hills band plays patriotic music and veterans are honored. Representatives from the State Assembly, the State Senate and the State Legislature attend, as well as North Castle Town Supervisor Michael Schiliro. Supervisor Schiliro said, “North Castle tradition is to celebrate Memorial Day on May 30th, the actual Memorial Day versus the Monday observance.  I look forward to the ceremony at the American Legion each year. At the end of the ceremony I always enjoy a hot dog and a cold drink.” Each year the names of memorialized solders are read, wreaths are laid on the veterans memorials at the Legion, and there is a guest speaker.

Last year, 93 year-old Marine Colonel Alfred Ciafli, a World War II veteran and survivor of the Battle of Iwo Jima, among others, was the guest speaker. His candid accounts of what it was actually like to serve there, the horrors of death and the arduous conditions under which he fought, kept the audience in mesmerized silence. “Many people in the audience were moved to tears as he spoke,” said Cicia.

The American Flag and the North Castle Eagle, symbols of the majestic beauty and great strength of our nation.

In addition to the many people and groups involved in the ceremony, some other very special guests are in attendance–veterans from Montrose Veterans Hospital arrive by bus to attend this event. This year, the Elks Club is teaming up with the American Legion because they, too, are closely involved in working with veterans.

Elks Club president Ed Flynn said, “We had a similar ceremony planned and we were inviting the veterans from Montrose also and then we decided to team up with the Legion and merge ceremonies.” The Elks have a long-standing relationship with the veterans, visiting as often as possible. The Elks go up to Montrose for barbeques or pizza parties during the summer, have a holiday party each year where members donate and buy gifts for them, or just to visit throughout the year. “We never want to forget all that they did and we want to honor them,” Flynn added. Elks members have the opportunity to donate to the veterans as part of their annual dues, and a lot of money is raised for them each year from dues alone.

Including the veterans from Montrose Hospital at the Memorial Day Celebration is a tradition that has grown, and this year two bus loads will come, bringing about 75 people. The ceremony at the American Legion is open to the public and held in the front yard of their building in a large open area covered for shelter. Out back, barbeque food and drinks are available for anyone that comes. Following the public ceremony, the visiting veterans are taken inside and served a hot meal. “They love to get out and take part in this special day,” Flynn pointed out. He said working with the patients from Montrose has been a great opportunity to get to know veterans of all ages and histories ranging from World War II to the Korean War, and from the Vietnam War to the Gulf War. Hearing their stories and visiting with them shows that their efforts have neither been in vain nor forgotten.

This year’s ceremony will take place on Saturday, May 30th at 11 a.m. at the American Legion Post 1097, 35 Bedford Road, Armonk. Again, this ceremony is open to the public and refreshments are served. When people hear actual accounts from the mouth of someone who fought, it brings a greater appreciation for all our country’s soldiers, especially the ones who gave their lives in service to our country. As Tony Cicia said, “The most important thing is remembering the dead and why they died.” Please take some time to stop by and remember those who gave their lives and honor  other veterans.

Miriam Longobardi is a freelance writer, fourth grade teacher and single mother of two daughters living in Westchester.  A breast cancer survivor, she volunteers for the American Cancer Society and has completed four marathons and travels the world. Follow her on Twitter@writerMimiLong.