The Inside Press

Magazines serving the communities of Northern Westchester

Ronni Diamondstein

Getting to Know Lisa Katz

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New Castle Town Supervisor Lisa Katz   PHOTO BY Chad David Kraus
When Town of New Castle Supervisor Lisa Katz was growing up she always knew she wanted to be a lawyer, but she never thought politics was in her future. As a student at White Plains High School she was very involved in the school community as a managing editor of the newspaper, a cheerleader and on the tennis team, so it isn’t surprising that she got involved in New Castle first joining the Town Board in 2014, and then elected Town Supervisor last fall. 

“I started speaking out about Chappaqua Crossing. I thought it was too big. The project was changed, and it’s much better now. I met a lot of people at that time and Rob Greenstein approached me about running for office. I could either keep complaining or I could do something about it, and that’s what I did. The rest is history.” 

Katz has lived in Chappaqua since 2006 with her husband Steven, her daughter Arden, a sophomore at Rice University and her son Spencer, a senior at Horace Greeley High School. 

In 2008 Katz was diagnosed with Lymphoma. Her children were four and six years old when she began treatment. “We were too young to know how serious it was. To try to make it more fun for us our mother let us decorate her wig stand and put makeup on it,” says her daughter Arden. 

“Lymphoma made me realize what was important in life.” Katz is an honored hero of the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society, and an Advocate who has given motivational speeches for the organization. 

Initially a corporate attorney, Katz made a switch to Estate Planning, Trusts and Elder Law after her bout with Lymphoma.  “When I had cancer sitting in the room with other chemo patients, people would say, ‘My doctor said I have to get my will together and get a health care proxy. And the lawyers are so matter of fact.’” She saw this as another opportunity to help people and opened her own practice in 2011. Katz loves this work, “I get to know my clients and to know about their families, their children, and their wishes for the future.”

The Pandemic has impacted her practice. “It has made my practice busier with healthcare proxies and wills.  People don’t want to think about it, but the Pandemic prompted people to start thinking about it.”

Katz developed a love of travel from her parents, and she has continued her passion for travel with her family. In December the family went to Alaska and two years before, prior to the Pandemic they visited Amsterdam and Munich. “I like to eat and travel, experiencing life.” Katz is quite adventurous and once ate a tarantula when she was on a food tour in Cambodia.

Theater is another one of Katz’s many interests and her daughter is her frequent companion on Broadway. “I’ve always been into theater, so I love seeing the shows with her. It’s a day in the city,” says her daughter Arden. 

Katz loves to cook and according to her family she’s quite good at it.  “I eat a lot of meals with my mom. She’s a good cook. I like breakfast food and she creates weird egg dishes.” says her son Spencer. 

Katz’s legal practice and the town keep her very busy but when she does have some spare time, she likes to read. “I’ll read everything.” Lately she is escaping into a book of poetry by Kahlil Gibran, and she has been listening to Audiobooks. The most recent was Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil which she was inspired to read after a brief trip to Savannah. 

In 2021 in her role as Town Board member, Katz organized a rally in the town to bring awareness to anti-Semitism.  This rally was personal for Katz. “I always want to fight against injustice, and anti-Semitism is on the rise. And it’s my past, my history.”

Katz has lots of ideas as to how to make the Town of New Castle even better than it is. She wants to figure out how to revitalize the hamlets and make New Castle a destination while keeping the charming feel. 

“There’s a way to accomplish both. To be a welcoming, vibrant, and exciting place to live while maintaining the feel we moved here for.” And she adds, “I’m looking forward to figuring out how we’re going to sort out the puzzle in a way that makes everyone feel included.” One of the first things she did when she assumed office in January was to initiate the Community Corner as part of the town’s e-Newsletter. She wishes to encourage people to share milestones in their lives.  “I think that we have the opportunity to connect with each other, open our hearts to each other. It fosters a sense of happiness.” And she adds, “Life is too short not to be joyful and spread joy.”

Katz is looking forward to the Memorial Day Parade in May, the first since the Pandemic. She also wants to have more community events. “We’re an amazing town with phenomenal people. I want to have events that bring our children in, bring our seniors in, bring everyone in, and get to enjoy each other, and everyone leaves happy.”

“We had the bonfire around Christmas time. We should have a Diwali festival and one for the Lunar New Year. We should have all different celebrations where we get to learn about our differences and the unique things we bring to the community.”

Her son Spencer is very proud of his mother’s role in town government. “I think it’s cool that she puts so much time helping the town. Her working for the town inspired me to join the Recreation Department too.” He serves on the Master Plan Subcommittee.

Katz just calls herself a “normal person” who fell into this. “I love it so much because I can see that we can do great things for our town, and it makes me happy to be able to help be a part of it.”

“I am a Democrat, but I believe that people aren’t defined by silos. People are people and I don’t care what party they are. It doesn’t matter to me. Politics aside, I just want to do what’s right for people,” says Katz.

Reflecting on her life, Katz gets inspiration from this quote attributed to Maya Angelou, “Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.” She wears it on a necklace that she had made. “I try to make memories, and maybe it’s after the cancer, that quote speaks for itself and it’s very important to me.”

For the Love of a Dog

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Love, unconditional love

The love I feel for my dog Maggie Mae

And the love Maggie Mae has for me, her person.

My protector, my defender,

The best company

Always by my side.

I can’t imagine my life without her.

No one will ever love you like your dog.

Love, unconditional love.

©Ronni Diamondstein 2022

 

Ronni and Maggie Mae.          Photo by Carolyn Simpson

 

 

Going, Going, GRAY!

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Photo by Carolyn Simpson
Hair by Donna Dellaero, Donna Hair Design

I was a slave to the salon. Every four weeks it was time for a touch-up. Whenever I had my hair color applied, I’d ask, “How gray am I?” In 2019 my roots were growing in so fast that the contrast of the white and dark color really bothered me. 

I never wanted to dye my hair. My mother was a double process bleached blonde, and I saw the damage all those chemicals did to her hair. But in my forties when I started to gray around my temples a friend advised me to start. 

When I contemplated getting color every three weeks, in January 2020, I thought, “Enough!” Around that time, I noticed celebrities who were my age and older going gray. I always admired Diane Keaton and have often been told I remind people of her–must be the “la, di, da.” So I asked a younger friend whom I rely on for fashion advice. She said, “Keep dying your hair until you can’t anymore.” And my former hairdresser was not in favor of my going gray either. But as it turned out, in February 2020 I sat in the chair at the salon for a lighter base coat and highlights. That was the last time. The Pandemic came, and the lockdown happened, and I saw this as a sign to go for it. 

Life is a journey and going gray is a natural part. I saw it with my 14-year-old dog Maggie Mae, a black and white toy poodle who has been gradually turning gray. It was slightly painful watching the contrast. French hair clips and ponytails helped me get through it, and fortunately the only people who saw me were on Zoom or socially distanced as I walked Maggie Mae.  

I wasn’t alone in this. A friend with whom I had frequently commiserated about this process had taken the leap in November of 2019. She is so happy now that she has gone gray. “I can’t believe I did that all those years. It wasn’t so painful.” 

Another friend who stopped coloring her hair a decade ago says, “I was fed up with all the fuss and tired of all the chemicals. I quite like my hair now.” 

I have a new hairstylist who is helping me be my best and true self. Her philosophy is that going natural is another process for women. “When you get to a crossroad where you are thinking about it and you feel ready to be your authentic self, then do it!” She says the Pandemic pushed people to act on something they had been contemplating. 

Now this is not for everyone. Not all gray is alike. I’ve always had good hair, great texture and was lucky that my gray is silvery. I can thank my maternal grandparents for that. And it’s also about having the confidence to be your genuine self. I’ve always been comfortable in my own skin and feel like I’ve earned these laugh lines along with the gray. 

There are lots of ways to transition to gray from cold turkey by letting your hair grow out naturally like I did, to cutting your hair very short or having a colorist blend the gray tones into your hair. And if you need support there are Facebook groups to join to help you through it. 

Another friend who is a former actress who had been dying her hair forever got help from a colorist to make the transition. “People see gray and immediately say, ‘old.’” But she has embraced her new look and sees it as an opportunity to refresh her wardrobe and wear colors she never dreamed of wearing. 

Going gray has given me the opportunity to sport a hairstyle that is chic and one I wore when I was much younger. 

Proverbs 16:31 says, “Gray hair is a crown of splendor. It is attained by living a righteous life.” I’d like to hope that is the case. It’s been two years and all the old color is now gone. I’m walking into 2022 wearing a crown of splendor and loving it. 

The Lost Art of Writing Thank-You Notes

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Dear Kind Reader,

I recently read a post by journalist Maria Shriver about her delight in receiving a handwritten note. She said that they really stand out amongst the stack of bills, mailers, and other junk that we all receive. You know a handwritten envelope when you see it.  And you know that it’s something personal, and that it’s almost certainly from someone you care about, or who cares about you. 

It is so rare these days, and I know exactly how she felt.  Handwritten notes and thank-you notes may be on their way to becoming an extinct form of correspondence replaced by tweets, texts, and emails. But for some of us, they are alive and well and dwell on linen paper and embossed stationery, sprinkled with a rainbow of inks and wrapped in beautifully lined envelopes.

The late Emily Post known for the syndicated “Doing the Right Thing,” believed in doing the “write” thing. She said thank-you notes must sound sincere and should be written promptly. On the other hand, Letitia Baldridge, a doyenne of decorum with a resume that included the role of chief of staff for Jacqueline Kennedy in the White House, said that it is never too late to send a note. She recommended being honest. Some of us are more direct and less flowery in our word choice, but the sentiment is the same. A handwritten note takes time, takes thoughtfulness, and should sound like you. 

Expressing thanks in writing is a permanent record of your feelings and can be read and reread over and over for years and years. I cherish a decades-old note from a dear friend who wrote in his signature hand his appreciation for a wonderful evening and his wish to do it again soon.  I enjoy rereading the note from a student who took the time to write, “Thank you for being so nice to me. You have made me feel welcome in my new school.  It’s been lots of fun working with you in the library.” 

There are many occasions for writing these notes–personal gifts, hospitality, business lunches and job interviews, just to name a few. In this highly competitive job market any gesture that sets you above the rest is wise. A post-interview note makes a lasting impression.

A colleague who faithfully writes thank-you notes thinks it’s just good manners. She says, “If you start at a young age and set an example for your children, it becomes second nature.”

“I appreciate getting thank-you notes especially if I’ve put a lot of thought and effort into a gift,” says a friend who also religiously thanks people in writing even though she doesn’t like writing letters and would rather make a call. 

There are some thank-you notes I didn’t write that I wish I had. To my Second Grade teacher, Sylvia Graham–I have used so many of her ideas as a teacher. And to my grandparents for the many things they did to help my mother when she became a widow, which in turn was a kindness to me. Last year I actually wrote a very long overdue thank-you note to my high school French teacher, Ellen LeClair, who comforted me at the time of my father’s death and helped me make an important decision that influenced my life.

There is a lot of joy that comes from writing thank-you notes. If you love beautiful stationery and interesting pens, it is a pleasurable experience. I have a stationery wardrobe that includes handcrafted luxurious fabric notecards made with a stitched edge detail, and letterpress correspondence cards made of 100% cotton Crane paper with beautifully lined envelopes. Jackie O was famous for her blue note paper and hand written cards, often delivered by messenger.  

I was so happy last year when the USPS issued the colorful “Thank You” stamp designed in lovely calligraphy. Those two simple words express so much when the envelope is discovered in the recipient’s mailbox.    

I’d like to thank you for reading my thoughts on thank-you notes. I hope you are inspired to express your thanks and gratitude in writing to the people in your life.

With warm regards,

Ronni

Remembering Lawrence Otis Graham

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Lawrence Otis Graham in 2015. Photo courtesy of Michael N. Meyer/Cuddy & Feder LLP

If you were lucky enough to know Lawrence Otis Graham, he would greet you with his mile-wide smile and twinkling eyes, so happy to see you. Whether he was in a hurry or not, he took the time to chat and ask how you were doing and catch up. He always had time for his friends and neighbors.

Lawrence Otis Graham, Chappaqua resident, respected attorney, author, media commentator, board member and lifelong advocate for diversity passed away on February 19, 2021. He was 59 years old and is survived by his wife, Pamela Thomas-Graham, two sons, Gordon and Harrison, a daughter Lindsey and his brother, Dr. Richard Graham. He graduated from Princeton University and Harvard Law School. Graham was an attorney at the White Plains law firm Cuddy & Feder. Graham was one of the most widely read Black writers of the 1990s and is well-known for his 1992 New York magazine cover story, “Invisible Man,” about his experience working in a restaurant at the Greenwich Country Club. He recounted the racism, sexism and anti-Semitism he encountered as a bus boy. The bestselling author of 14 non-fiction books about politics, education, race and class in America, Graham’s work includes the books, The Senator and The Socialite: The Story of America’s First Black Political Dynasty and Our Kind of People: Inside America’s Black Upper Class, his New York Times and national bestseller that is currently under development by Fox Entertainment as a television series based on this book. 

A dear friend …

Graham showed promise from his childhood. Stacey Blaustein Divack has known Graham since the 7th grade in the White Plains Schools, and their friendship lasted through the years, especially when they found themselves both living in Chappaqua. She has many memories of her dear friend. “Larry was a super high achiever. He was the Editor-in-Chief of ‘The Orange,’ our high school paper. He was principled, not political and determined to publish the truth. He was tireless, did his homework and left no stone unturned.” She also recalls from her high school days, “As a leader, he took ownership of issues and coming up with solutions. He followed his dreams and despite some tough situations and racial hinderances, he overcame. He would never attain his goals by the wrong means. It was hard work and honesty.” He was a great friend. “If you called him, he was there, or he beat you to being there.” Family was so important to Graham. “He came from parents who cared so much, and he was very hands-on with his own children.” And she adds, “Larry had an inner spark that radiated and permeated everything he did. He wanted to make a mark in the world. He had his own unique style: brilliance, warmth, caring, humbleness. He was such a warm soul.”

Thanks to Vanessa Williams and her mother Helen, the Grahams settled in Chappaqua in 1998.

Helen Williams recalls, “Vanessa found the house and encouraged Larry to take a look telling him here’s where you should come, the schools are great and it’s a great piece of property–and he bought it.” Mrs. Williams has been a friend of the family for 30 years having met Graham’s mother Betty as fellow members of  LINKS. “Each year Larry would bring me a poinsettia for Christmas. And he did again this year. It was always something I looked forward to. We had a special connection and talked a lot. He listened well to suggestions and advice almost as if I was a mother mentor for him.” What will she miss most? “His eager smile and his laugh, everything about the essence of him. He had so much more to offer. He was always working on something and always looking forward. I will miss his presence on this earth, how much he gave and how much more he had to give.”

Graham was the Chair of the Westchester County Police Board. County Executive George Latimer wrote, “I met him when he and his wife Pam–a talented and successful executive in her own right–lived in White Plains and I was going door-to-door running for re-election as a County Legislator. I walked away from that front door meeting knowing I had just met an impressive man… and he was that and more over the 25 plus years of our friendship.”

A grateful person …

Political differences never defined his personal relationships according to Tara Rosenblum, News 12 Reporter/Anchor. Graham appeared on the weekly Newsmakers program as a political analyst and was often on air election nights. “Lawrence was able to have a political disagreement and separate it from your friendship. He was always there on a moment’s notice. You could ask him about any topic and he could expand on it like an accordion, filling in as much time that was needed to a commercial break. He had incredible political insights and intuition but, what I found most impressive about him with all his achievements, he never forgot the little things people did for him along the way. He was just such a deeply grateful person.”

A good neighbor …

Former New Castle Supervisor Barbara Gerrard has some reflections on Graham. “Larry was the quintessential Renaissance man, but more than that to people in Chappaqua, he was a neighbor, a dad, a concerned friend, the kind of good person we all strive to be. I first met Larry when he was running for Congress. I had just been elected to the New Castle Town Board, and he reached out to offer his assistance in any way he could. It was always his way to offer help, advice, or just an attentive ear, to anyone who needed it. He had that overarching ability to connect with everyone he met, an ability enhanced by his genuine concern with neighbors and friends. It is difficult to accept that his presence will no longer grace our community.”  

Graham could be seen in local shops all over town. Gerrard continues, “He took advantage of everything Chappaqua had to offer. When his children were young, you’d often find him bringing them to Town, especially to the Chappaqua Library, his favorite destination.”  Not only a visitor to the library, but Graham also did an author talk about his book, Member of the Club: Reflections on Life in a Racially Polarized World. 

When former Town Supervisor and School Board member Janet Wells was forming the Chappaqua School Foundation, Graham helped to bring awareness to the organization. He hosted free events, among them a pre-college program about his Ten Point Plan for College Acceptance, the book he wrote while a student at Princeton. Wells worked with him on his 1999 Congressional campaign doing fundraising and was often with Graham on the trail. “Larry had energy and enthusiasm, and he had a lot to offer. It’s really sad he never became a Congressman; he would have contributed so much.” Graham returned the favor to Wells. “He was kind and helped me with my campaign. I always knew I could call him. He would recognize a problem and something he could do to help even before I would even ask. He was such a sensitive person. One of the things I loved about him was how he seized all the opportunities to enjoy life.”

Nichelle Maynard-Elliott, co-chair of the New Castle Council on Race and Equity, has a long history with Graham. “I first met Larry as a first-year summer associate at Weil Gotshal. He was a warm and friendly face and personality. He generously offered his support and guidance as an older, full time associate. Our paths crossed again much later in life as our children attended the Armonk Montessori together, and we discovered we were neighbors in Chappaqua. His warm smile and infectious enthusiasm were consistent for the 30 years I knew him.”

President Bill Clinton shares his thoughts. “Hillary and I liked and admired Larry very much, and we enjoyed the chance to get to know him over the last 20 years. We’re grateful that, in addition to shining a light on the role of race and class throughout our history and in our present day, he used his many gifts to make Chappaqua and Westchester better, stronger, and more inclusive. His passing is a big loss for the community, and our thoughts are with his family and all the people whose lives he touched.”

A beautiful soul …

At his funeral service, on February 27th at the Grace Episcopal Church in White Plains, his wife Pamela spoke about what Graham would want all of us to remember. There were four things: Never give up, have no ego, be a light in the world, and savor the moment. And she added, “be kind.” Lawrence Otis Graham was all that. He leaves us with quite a legacy in his 59 years on this Earth, and a big void now. Maya Angelou said, “A great soul serves everyone all the time. A great soul never dies. It brings us together again and again.” Lawrence Otis Graham, the great and beautiful soul that he was, has done just that. 

Statement from the New Castle Council on Race & Equity:

While Lawrence Otis Graham was not an official member of the CRE, he certainly stands out as a prominent BIPOC member of the Town of New Castle. He wrote compellingly about growing up upper-middle-class and Black, and the pressures of navigating these two sometimes conflicting identities. Our neighbor’s unique voice on the challenges of living in a white world while holding on to Black culture will be missed.