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The Broken Soul

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I found my soul upon the floor it was hiding behind a few locked doors; of childhood games and yesterdays I stumble on it by mistake. I was looking for some memories of someone I forgot to be.

It looked withered and all washed away like something left over from yesterday. It looked smaller than I remember, shattered by lies and burnt by embers, and it was torn by the lies of love it took me a moment to realize what it was.

I tried to pick it up off the floor by the memories I had before, although it seemed small and very weak the voice seemed stronger when it started to speak. And in its eyes, it did seem to care, but it was not happy to see me there.

Go away you have forgotten! And you left me here in a past to rot in! It showed my shame and let me know I was the one to blame that it had to go. 

You once had dreams that made me big; of equal rights and fights to win, and of being fair was for everyone, and how it matters that no job was left undone. And you use to laugh with such abandon, and you helped with hands of innocents and understanding. And how you would fight for what was true, you would always let me always speak to you.

And how everyone that was a friend; you would be loyal with until the end. You use to care for your fellow man and protest and take a stand.”

But I was so young; and there were others, and most fights were not for me but another, it seemed to hard and no one cared and I got tired of being everywhere, I had a life and little time. And youth, that was no friend of mine.

This was my excuse but still my soul pressed; so it was no use I should have guessed.

And your values got eroded. When you got pressured and you got goaded you forgot how to stand for what you believe, I begged you to stand but there was no reprieve.

You turned your back on what you thought was good; and I did the very best I could, and it was hard and as time marched on you heard a louder voice and you were gone. You wanted things I could not give; like green paper from the ATM!

“Well you just don’t understand this life was not what I planned, I have to live, and I have to eat.” Was my defense but I felt defeat.

And you no longer sing, instead you Twitter, you made cyber friends on a book with no real paper. You see plastic people on electronic devices, and you believed their shit they had to write, everything it seemed so fake. But you fell for it, your big mistake. My voice inside it got so small. You no longer cared and I learned to crawl.

But you were with me each and every day. You could have shouted or got me back another way. This is not my fault alone to change a world that I never owned. You could of helped me be true or you could of left and I would of followed you” I justified my misbehavior but my souls true voice it did not waver.

I could not leave because it’s you, and I am just a part, so what did you want me to do. And when you found you could not get to the top you sold pieces of me it just got worse and you would not stop.

The things that you once held dear you pushed aside you longer cared.  I saw the little things you use to love get pushed them away for bigger stuff.

You did what they called an upgrade you wanted cars, jewels or better things. You ripped me apart for who you use to be; to be someone else eyes blinded by greed.
I tried to stop you and remind you of what you once believed, but those things no longer mattered and your feelings reprieved.  And you had no time to hear from me and I couldn’t fight so I set you free. 

You wanted things to you that mattered; and you hushed my tirade and so I went to the shadows. Hoping someday you would remember; but now I wait to die; your soul surrenders.

I felt my being fall apart as I realized what I had lost, I was something I was not and maybe that was my true cost.

I felt my soul start to slip away but before it went it turned to say “What brought you back to this forgotten place?” I looked at this being with my face.

“I forgot what I was to be.”

Then it laugh and said “Well now you see.”

It turned away and went back to the floor and crawled underneath another locked door. And this new door I had not opened yet out of only my fear it was the one marked Regret.  I wanted it back; but it didn’t matter, we had our talk and my soul was shattered.  

So have you mended your broken soul or has your greed taken control?

Can you pick up off the floor the person you had been before or is it too late to find it yet and is it behind the door Regret. Open the doors and set if free and maybe you can find who you use to be.

New Castle’s Longest Serving Scoutmaster Dr. William Flank Steps Down

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Troop 1 Scoutmaster since 1990

News from the Town of New Castle:  Last Wednesday we marked the end of an era!  Dr. William Flank has stepped down as Troop 1’s Scoutmaster, a position he has held since 1990.  He has been Troop 1’s longest serving scoutmaster.  He leaves behind some very big shoes to fill.  Over the Troop’s history, which is 105 years, 112 scouts have reached the rank of Eagle Scout.  Dr. Flank participated in 94 of the Eagle projects.  Under Dr. Flank’s tenure, 55 of his Scouts became Eagles!  “We would be hard pressed to find anyone, anywhere, who has trained more Scout leaders!,” said Town Supervisor Robert Greenstein.  “He will be missed but always remembered by those whose lives he’s touched, and he has touched many young lives, for sure!”

 

Discovering the True Gift of Dance… in an Operating Room

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When I started ballet in the 3rd grade, I was immediately thrust into the two worlds of dance: the world of practice and the world of performance. Practice consisted of endless classes and day long rehearsals where skills could be honed in the privacy of a studio. Mistakes were acceptable but promptly corrected and mastery of technique directly correlated with hours of hard work.

Performance, on the other hand, was different. The music enveloped you, bright lights illuminated you and as you look out on the dimly light audience between movements of carefully set choreography you realized there were hundreds if not thousands of eyes in the room…and they were all looking at you.

And while many people think dancers perform only for the applause, the truth is we perform for the intense, adrenaline-filled rush that accompanies successfully completing painstakingly practiced movements while under extreme pressure.

Although we practiced for months at a time leading up to our shows, inevitably every performance comes with its set of unforeseen errors. Props get dropped, people fall on stage, someone stands on the wrong mark, backstage lighting malfunctions, music starts too early or too late (or recently for our Snow Scene not at all!), but it is in those moments of chaos where true performers shine. Maintaining a calm demeanor when your heart is beating out of your chest, thinking up quick, effective solutions to unexpected snafus, and emotionally dealing with the embarrassment of a mistake cannot be learned in the ballet studio; it can only be learned on stage.

When I hung up my ballet slippers in 2011 after 13 years of dance, I felt a void in my life where performance had once lived; the adrenaline-filled moments I experienced on stage were gone. I resigned myself feeling this loss as the inevitable punishment for those who walked away from dance. But then, in my third year of medical school, I rediscovered the excitement in the most unexpected place: the operating room (OR).

In the OR for the first time, I felt an implacable but eerily familiar feeling. Scrub techs and circulating nurses were busy ensuring the surgeon had proper lighting and securing the patient to the OR table. After the patient was placed under anesthesia and covered with sterile drapes the room quieted as the surgeon and his residents entered. They gowned/ gloved up, the room lights were dimmed, the OR lights were turned on, and it hit me; I was at a performance! The OR had lights, cameras, a stage, and audience members. Principle, soloist, and corps dancers were replaced by surgeons, residents, and medical students. Each surgery had a carefully laid out choreography that required precise technique, impeccable timing, and hours of practice before show time.

In those early moments of my surgical training, I realized the gift ballet had given me–the gift of being able to perform. Thanks to years on the stage, it came naturally to me that I could think quickly while under the OR lights, improvise when something was going awry, and keep a calm demeanor when my heart was racing. In the Operating Room, confidence saves lives, and yet again, the confidence that my body would perform as I wanted it to under intense circumstances was there from day one.

To feel sure that you will actually help someone by cutting them open, inflicting wounds onto their bodies–which in any other setting is considered assault with a deadly weapon–and to believe after you have pieced them back together they will be better off (than if you had never touched them in the first place)…these are not convictions that can be learned in the library.

There are so many pieces of my life I am eternally grateful to dance for giving me: the best moments of my youth, great friends I still love seeing, a work ethic which got me through medical school, and the ability to thrive under the pressure of the OR.

Former dance students don’t say this enough to their instructors, and certainly not years later, but to Mr. Logrea, Mrs. Logrea, Nick and Carol, thank you for all the lessons and time you spent with me, I truly believe I am a better doctor and a better surgeon because of all of you.

From 1997-2007, Ari Bransdorfer, currently a first year Ophthalmology Resident at Montefiore Medical Center/Einstein College of Medicine, studied dance at Ossining’s Logrea Dance Academy www.logreadanceacademy.com  He returned as a guest dancer in 2008 and 2010.

 

 

 

 

When Mom is in Prison: Chappaqua Librarians Participate in Summer Program Reading to their Kids

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(L-R): Chappaqua Librarians Robbin Friedman and Miriam Lang Budin holding books read to kids with moms in prison.

Learning to read is a joy for children and their parents as a little one’s first sentences and their comprehension increase with their vocabularies. Sharing these moments can be challenging from afar, more so when the parent is incarcerated.

Miriam Lang Budin, head of children’s services at Chappaqua Library and children’s librarian Robbin Friedman, found a way to use books and reading to ease the pain of children who visit their mothers who are behind bars.

“About four years ago, I was invited to see preview screening of the film Mothers of Bedford (2011),” Budin told members of the Rotary Club of Chappaqua during its March luncheon.

The documentary by filmmaker Jenifer McShane details five incarcerated women at the Bedford Hills Correctional Facility. During the course of several years, McShane spoke with them, their children and families, the children’s caregivers, and prison employees and volunteers to understand parenting from a distance.

“It was an extraordinary movie about the women who are incarcerated in this maximum-security prison,” Budin shared. “Some of the women are pregnant when they arrive so they give birth at the prison. If they’re privileged enough, then they can keep their babies until the babies are two years old.”

Moved by the film, she “wondered how the library could help them in their heartbreaking situation and knew books were the perfect answer.” Research led her to Hour Children®, which runs family programs at the Bedford Hills facility and at the Taconic Correctional Facility.

This will be the fourth summer she and Friedman will read to children visiting their mothers, one component of the facility’s Summer Program. Local families open their homes to inmates’ children for one week each during six week-program, allowing them to spend time more time with their mothers as contact is otherwise by telephone or mail.

Rebecca Sussman, Teen Program Coordinator, Hour Children’s Center, explained the story time program, one of many for families. “From Sunday through Thursday–six times during July and August–children stay with host families in the area and visit their moms during the day,” Sussman explained. “Some of them (children) are siblings, some of them know each other during the years, and some come (to the readings) with their mothers,’ Friedman said. “We never know how many people will show up when we’re there; sometimes up to 36 people (mothers and children) attend.”

All programs take place in the visiting room, behind which is a children’s area that looks like a nursery, and where Friedman and Budin read to the children.

“The visiting room is open to any child of any age; (however), kids from ages 5 to 17 are eligible to be hosted by families during the summer. Their presence evokes a positive reaction in parents who are reluctant to participate. “That’s the goal: to get everyone involved,” Friedman emphasized. “Reading is a good way to get everyone engaged.”

How do they hold everyone’s attention given the vast age range? “We bring picture books or early readers and poetry,” Budin said, “as there’s not enough time to read chapter books or novels, and one child can read a poem or an older child can read to a younger child.”

One favorite is Mirror Mirror: A Book of Reverso Poems by Marilyn Singer. The author’s poem can be read forward and backward, and the latter will have a different meaning. Another is We Are in a Book! from Mo Willems’ series.

“The book has lively dialogue and engages the reader,” Budin explained. Elephant Gerald and Piggie realize they are characters in a book that’s being read, and once they’re more at ease with this, they become upset that the book will end.

“Hello. Will you please read us again?” the characters ask whoever’s reading the book.

Budin and Friedman agree their efforts are well-received. “We get thank-you letters and lots of positive feedback from the families,” Budin said, adding, “sometimes we see families again the next year.”

Both are glad they found a way to work with the population and find it “fulfilling to serve people who would not otherwise have had the same opportunity,” Budin said. Each child who participates in the reading program goes home with a new, age-appropriate book to reread with another adult or by him/herself.

Those who are interested in offering books can visit http://hourchildren.org/. Families interested in hosting children for one week during the summer can contact Deb Rigano, Summer Program Coordinator, at drigano@hourchildren.org.

18 Years of Innovative Theater at Hudson Stage

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(L-R) Joe Delafield, Matt Ban & Denis Lambert in The Hound of the Baskervilles. PHOTO BY RANA FAURE

Now in its 18th season, The Hudson Stage Company of Armonk, founded and run by producers Denise Bessette, Olivia Sklar and Dan Foster, and operating as a professional non-profit since its inception, has been dedicated to presenting fresh, dynamic, original works since 1999.

With such a packed list of past heavy-hitters as Amy Herzog’s 4000 Miles, John Patrick Shanley’s Outside Mullingar, and Animals Out of Paper, by Rajiv Joseph, there’s no doubt they’ve got that goal well covered.

And they continued to play the field and open new doors with their latest smash, The Hound of the Baskervilles, which played Whippoorwill Hall Theater from April 28th to May 13th. “It was a complete departure from anything we’ve ever done,” says Bessette, with a laugh, citing the show’s specific aspects of quirky, physical comedy, as well as its aura of sheer and silly fun that differs greater from their previously darker work. “But in that way, it’s keeping with our mission, too. We’re all about trying new things, shaking things up, and presenting new works you’ll not see anywhere else.”

While it may have indeed been a new venture for the company, it hit all the right notes in keeping with the company’s mission. The show chronicled the renowned detective and his ragtag group of friends and colleagues as they collected clues to unveil the killer of Sir Charles Baskerville, and determine the true identity of the hound who lay beside him. But, as mentioned, with a dark plot, rooted mostly in that from Sir Arthur Conan Doyle’s novel of the same name, the brilliant presentation, helmed by Mark Shanahan, comes with an added (heaping) helping of sight gags, slapstick bits, and rapid-fire quick changes that make the stage show so thoroughly enjoyable and memorable.

To boot, it was all expertly executed by three actors of the highest Broadway caliber: Matt Ban, Joe Delafield, and Denis Lambert. Ban (who plays Watson, among others) effortlessly exhibits a mastery in physical comedy, down on the floor at the drop of a hat, exaggerating otherwise minuscule movement, and playing with props to humorous effect. Delafield, who portrays nearly all members of the Baskerville brood, revels in his cavalcade of facial expressions, while Lambert’s knack for accents (especially when portraying Latina bombshell, Cecile), is simply unmatched.

Again, a departure to say the least, but their decision to produce it–among all the other wildly exciting new works they’ve put out past and present–is what makes Hudson Stage Company such an enticing entity.

While their full slate of programming for the upcoming season is still in the works, Bessette advises those eager theatergoers to rest assured that “We’re narrowing down our selection [and] we’ve got a bunch of terrific new plays coming–all of which are new to Westchester County.”

It’s all in keeping with their aforementioned goal: to provide easy, local access to fantastic theatre productions (sans the expensive Broadway prices). Of note, their Armonk location is close enough to attract visitors from Fairfield, Putnam, and Rockland counties in addition to the devoted group of Westchester County regulars.

“We love our audiences, and we’re very proud of our fantastically diverse program,” Bessette concludes. “I mean, 18 years going strong in the county… we’ve got to be doing something right, right?!”

Hudson Stage Company holds its performances regularly at Whippoorwill Hall Theatre within North Castle Public Library at 19 Whippoorwill Road East in Armonk. For more information on upcoming performances, visit www.hudsonstage.com.