reflection Archives - Inside Chappaqua and Inside Armonk: The Magazines for New and North Castle

Goodbye to 2018; Why, Hello ‘Beautiful’

November 24, 2018 by Grace Bennett

Ok, I’m trying to stay positive. Still, it feels good to say ‘so long’ to what has been downright ugly. We have seen the impact of hate mongering and a gun epidemic across America, from the spike in hate and lethal crimes across the board, as was the case with the terror directed toward so many prominent individuals via U.S. mail, and immediately thereafter, the horrific tragedies via gunfire at the Tree of Life Synagogue and at the Thousand Oaks nightclub. Then disaster struck, as we sat back helpless taking in the massive wildfire in California and its accompanying death toll of nearly 90 people with hundreds still missing, And in our backyard, as we went to press, The Inside Press team was saddened to learn that a passionate community campaign to bring Armando Rojas back home, had not succeeded. A saving feeling prevails, however: There is great comfort when we all come together as a community to mourn tragedies and put our heads together on how to make our future brighter for all of us and future generations.

As the publisher of a magazine for communities that are off the charts charitable, I also know that behind all the bad news, there is much that’s positive and promising and beautiful on the landscape for our future, and so we will be keeping our eyes peeled for all that. As we head into 2019, via our team, we’re going to keep bringing what’s ‘beautiful’ in our lives to you, from the ‘Inside’ out, for certain. For our first edition in 16 years of publishing, a March/April 2019 book, please look for our ‘Beautiful’ theme throughout, and get in touch early to ask how you can support us. Please write to grace@insidepress.com.

Beautiful Gedney Park playground on a Winter’s Day. Photo by Grace Bennett

In the meantime, thank you to all the residents here ‘and beyond’ who read and share stories we work hard to produce. Thank you to all the generous sponsors who support community print and online coverage. Wishing you and our families much warmth and joy and all things beautiful through the holiday season.

Reframing Loss and Gain

October 21, 2015 by The Inside Press

Apple picking with the family in 2014: From left, Timothy Radice, Gabriella Radice, Gavin Radice, Kourtney DeRosa-Radice.

By Kourtney DeRosa-Radice

Not too long ago, I was 85 pounds heavier than I am today. I moved to Westchester, had two children back-to-back and pretty much put my needs and wants on the back burner. I prepared my children organic baby food, dressed them in the cutest little outfits, brought them to those fancy gym classes for little ones and LOVED them beyond words. However, my self-care was another story. I started eating frozen processed foods, traveled around in faded black sweatpants, canceled my gym membership, and pretty much stopped caring for myself. My days of being that women I once was were now gone; this was the new me, the new mom me. My priorities were different and that was okay, or so I told myself.

One day, after getting a glimpse of a picture of my kids with a “stranger,” aka mom, I decided to take action and started a journey down a road that would eventually lead me back to the women I once was, the women I loved and knew so well. Ironically this journey pretty much mirrored all that I had been doing for my children. My days started consisting of eating mostly clean, non-processed foods (similar to what my children had been eating), completing daily workouts (though not at fancy gyms like my kids) and dressing like I was leaving the house (even if I wasn’t).

The result of my efforts was a huge weight loss, which I am congratulated about daily. Each day I hear the words, “Wow, congratulations on your loss…” “Awesome job with your loss…” “You must be so proud of your loss…” Hearing the word loss day after day, used in such a positive manner feels odd. I had been programmed from a young age to think of loss as a negative. I’ve always connected loss to sadness. I’ve connected it to stress and aggravation. I’ve viewed it as loss–not gain.

Then, one day, after being at a Moms Night Out and talking about my loss yet again, I had that “ah hah” moment. You know, those moments when you realize you need to rethink our thinking! Wait, I thought. my weight loss isn’t the only loss in my life that has been positive. I quickly went through the moments in my life where I experienced sadness as a result of loss.

I thought about my husband losing his job on the trading floor when the markets went electronic. I thought about losing a beautiful home in Pleasantville in a bidding war. I thought about losing out on what I thought was my dream teaching position in Westchester. Then I thought about what I gained from each of these experiences. My husband losing his job led me to become a nutrition coach which has allowed me to support hundreds of people with their weight loss. Losing our dream home in Pleasantville encouraged us to expand our search and this led us to finding a home in Armonk. And that dream job–well, had I been offered it, I would have never decided to stay at home part time with my children. This idea that a loss could actually bring you to a happier place, a healthier place, an all around better place was now clear in my mind.

As we approach the Thanksgiving Holiday and I continue to think about this whole idea of loss I can’t help but wonder if everyone already knows what it took me 36 years to figure out. Do people know that loss, though negative in some aspects, can also be positive as well? Do people know that sometimes a loss is actually just a gain in disguise?

This year things will be different at my Thanksgiving table for sure. For one, the food I typically prepare will be getting a facelift. There will be no marshmallows on my sweet potatoes and no cream in my corn. There will be no green bean casserole with cream of mushroom soup and no gravy on my turkey. There will, however, be a revised list of what I am thankful for. This year I am going to take a step back and reflect on all that I have lost. I plan to give thanks for all the loss in my life that has brought me to the place I am today. Sometimes it is hard to see the positives in loss, but, when you put on those special lenses, they begin to jump out at you.

With this I challenge you to go beyond only giving thanks for what you have gained this year and, instead, think about what YOU have lost. Have you experienced a loss this year, which has inadvertently led to a positive in your life? As you sit at your Thanksgiving table and you give thanks for all the gains you have attained, remember to include your losses too. After all they deserve to be thanked as well.

Kourtney DeRosa-Radice is an Armonk mom, public school teacher and Team Beachbody Health and Fitness Coach. When not enjoying her children or teaching her students she devotes her time to assisting clients in reaching their health and fitness goals. Kourtney can be reached at: Kradice@beachbodycoach.com

It Takes Courage

October 21, 2015 by The Inside Press

Ever stare at a blank piece of paper, or, in today’s terms, a blank screen, and wonder what to write? Trust me, it can be daunting! Perhaps it’s what inspired Ernest Hemingway to pen Courage is Grace under Pressure.

Seriously though, what is courage? And where is it found? It’s been described by many, and in many ways. Our cover story speaks to the courage one family found to move on after the untimely passing of their son and brother. They, their friends, his friends and the greater Armonk community remember and honor Jamie Love each year with a 5k run. Most of us are deeply fortunate in that we have not had to experience the nightmare that is the loss of a child. To come from that dark place to a wish for others to laugh and smile in Jamie’s honor is truly an act of courage as well as love.

Giving of ourselves is another way we show courage. While we are all familiar with the Golden Rule, “Do unto others as you would have them do unto to you,” it isn’t always easy to step up and make a difference in others’ lives. In simple Darwinian terms, we’re programmed to put ourselves first. Time is precious, and truly as big a gift as many other resources. Those who make time to volunteer are not only doing good deeds, but showing that they can put aside their atavistic me-first tendencies. Our story, Neighbors Feeding Neighbors in Body and Spirit, describes the many ways local lay individuals and clergy members make our world a better place.

On the other hand, there are those among us who find it quite hard to say “No”. Psychologically speaking, they’re called “people-pleasers”. In general, people pleasers want everyone around them to be happy and they also often crave others’ approval. It’s a perfect-storm way to over-schedule and under-care for oneself. Consider the upcoming Thanksgiving holiday. We love and look forward to it year after year; the traditions, the feast, the time off from work and school…and the chance to be with our friends and family. But, what if we’re not a Hallmark movie? What if we can’t house everyone or set a Martha Stewart table? Let’s have the courage to say “yes” to what we can do, and “no” to what we can’t. If you turn to When An Air Mattress Just Isn’t Enough, you’ll find we’ve gathered a list of great local lodging options that can help ease the strain of holiday hosting.

And speaking of Thanksgiving Traditions, make sure to read our fun piece on this very topic. Discover what some of your neighbors plan to do, maybe find an inspiration or two you’d like to try for yourselves! Chez moi, I know we’ll watch the parade in our PJs while cooking and setting up for the holiday dinner. I’m especially thankful to have my family coming to me this year, including one of my brothers, his children and his ex-wife! I admire their civility, and, yes, their courage in putting negative issues aside in order to celebrate the positive and make the holiday family-centric for all the children.

Election Day fast approaches. Do you know what positions are up for the vote in North Castle?

We offer a very helpful overview in They’re up for the Vote!; I highly recommend acquainting or re-acquainting yourself with the candidates. I’m volunteering to help at my polling place for the first time this year, and, I don’t mind sharing, I’m a bit anxious about it. I attended two evening workshops, but they both took place last summer. What if I can’t remember all the rules? Still, my sense of reason tells me I’ll be ok, that others with more experience will be available to help me and, more to our point about courage, that I owe myself the chance to prove myself as well as fulfill a great public service.

When we try something new, when we take that first step into the great unknown, we’re actually making the proverbial “leap of faith’. If you think about it, courage and faith actually walk hand in hand all the time. Psychotherapist Jodi Baretz describes the process in greater detail in “Life Begins at the End of your Comfort Zone.” And, back in September, my rabbi, Rabbi Jonathan Jaffe of Temple Beth El, delivered a very thought-provoking sermon on The Meaning of Faith; among the many takeaways, I share the following with you: Faith springs from the large gap between the two poles of certainty and absurdity…occurs when I am asked to act irreversibly upon only partial evidence…is not a matter of belief, as belief does not ask anything of me…is a matter of action, in which I am called to make a commitment based upon my convictions.

When Inside Press Publisher Grace Bennett approached me to help her launch this magazine, we knew each other very little and had only worked together once or twice previously. She took a leap of faith, as did I. And you, our readers and merchants, showed faith and courage too. You welcomed us and gave us the opportunity to become The Magazine for North Castle and Beyond. I’ll be stepping down as Executive Editor but will continue to contribute from time to time. So, this is not goodbye, but a fond farewell for now.

Happy Holidays, best wishes and, until the next time,

-Beth