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reflection

Our Mom & The Bouquet of Peace

April 8, 2022 by Janine Crowley Haynes

After you lose your mother, Mother’s Day becomes a somber day of reflection. Our mother is gone 21 years now. She died from lung cancer at the age of 56–a year younger than I am today. It was strange for me when I realized I’m older than my mother would ever be. Still, I reflexively reach for my phone to call her whenever something good or bad happens. Then, remind myself, with phone in hand, she’s not on the other end.

Her life was brief, but the life lessons she instilled in her three girls come back to us constantly. Sometimes, her lessons come slowly, subtly, and, other times, they slap us right in the face. I cannot express how much I love when that happens. Belonging to an Irish Catholic family, living in the Bronx, my mother was the eldest of six. Her life was filled with a steady stream of laundry–much of it done by hand. So, when she married, she insisted on squeezing a washer and a dryer into our already cramped kitchen. It would finally free her of the laborious chores of her childhood.

When I was 11, our parents separated. My mom, two sisters, and I would spend many years in our kitchen talking over the vibrational whir of the washer and the thunderous tumbling of the dryer. At dinnertime, she’d stop the machines mid-cycle so we could have some quiet conversation. Even after working twelve hours a day, six days a week, our mom always made time to sit at the kitchen table and ask about our day. The image of her reaching over to pull open the dryer door, without getting out of her chair, is forever etched in my memories. 

Right there, in our groovy 70s kitchen with its loud orange and yellow geometric, metallic wallpaper and knock-off Saarinen white-round table with matching bucket chairs, hung a print of Picasso’s Bouquet of Peace. Since I was, as my mom would say, ‘the artistic one,’ I had trouble with the drawing’s simplicity. I mean, I was 12 and could draw a more lifelike image of a bouquet of flowers. It perplexed me as much as it intrigued me. As a teen, I found myself researching Pablo Picasso and the phases of his work. His earlier work was spot-on realistic. So, clearly, he knew how to draw and paint, but the influences of the time, lead him to break free from realism and delve into cubism, and, eventually, he turned to painting in a childlike manner. I also learned he painted The Bouquet of Peace in response to the peace demonstrations taking place in Stockholm in 1958.

Our kitchen table was the roundtable of our world. Under the watchful eye of The Bouquet of Peace, it’s where our single bra-burning, bellbottom-wearing, liberal-leaning mother created a safe space for her three girls to talk about anything and everything. Nothing was off-limits. It’s where she celebrated our rite of passage into womanhood, and, subsequently, where we complained about our cramps and pimples. It’s where we learned to put on makeup. It’s where we cried over boys. It’s where we talked about our mother’s limited paycheck and how, if we wanted a new pair of Jordache jeans or a new pair of Candies, we had to work for it.

The response to a piece of artwork is typically an emotional one–even if it’s no response at all. Picasso’s flowers were always waiting to greet me in the morning. I’d stare at it while eating my Cheerios. My mother loved the cheerful nature of it and how it represented a sweet gesture of one person giving to another. She shared with me how the giving of something as simple as a bouquet of flowers could bring much joy to the recipient. In those moments, my mother was teaching us the art of the giving, the art of simple beauty, and the art of appreciating art. 

So, when I noticed my sister hung that very painting in her laundry room, it bothered me. Why would she choose to hang a significant piece from our childhood in such an obscure place? Then…BAM!!! It hit me. My sister got it right. It was the perfect place, right next to the whoosh of washer and the melodic tumbling of the dryer. Like I said, I love when that happens.

Filed Under: Inside Thoughts Tagged With: Artwork, Bouquet, Essay, journey, kitchen, Life Lessons, Loss, mom, mothers day, Our Mom, painting, reflection, remembrance

Ten Reasons to See What Temple Beth El is All About!

December 1, 2019 by The Inside Press

Courtesy of Temple Beth El

1. Temple Beth El welcomes all who wish to participate in Jewish life with an inclusive and enriching community, led by our award-winning clergy: Rabbi Jonathan Jaffe, Rabbi Maura Linzer, and Cantor Elizabeth Sternlieb.

2. Our vibrant Religious School emphasizes experiential learning and family education, with a wide array of programming that includes trips to Washington, D.C. and New York City.

3. The TBE Early Childhood Center provides children of nursery school age with a fun, exciting, and developmentally appropriate program in a warm, nurturing preschool environment.

4. Attend our monthly Tot Shabbat and Family Worship Services that engage our younger congregants. Save the date for our Scout Shabbat on February 28!

5. Holiday and festival celebrations for all ages – Join us for the Vodka & Latkes Adult Social prior to our Chanukah Service or be part of the cast for our upcoming Purim Spiel: The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel!

6. Deeply meaningful High Holy Day services filled with reflection, prayer, celebration, and community.

7. Numerous Adult Programming and Education opportunities that range from an annual Scholar-In-Residence program featuring prominent figures in the Jewish spiritual, intellectual, and political arenas to Sunday morning classes with our clergy.

8. Deep commitment to tikkun olam, social action, and social justice with our new Year of Mitzvot programs. Volunteer for our Emergency Shelter Partnership, Cooking for Neighbors Link, or our annual “Soup’er Bowl” Sunday!

9. A commitment towards inclusion and outreach to individuals and families of all backgrounds and needs, as well as a welcoming approach to interfaith families.

10. Making connections with our friends and neighbors in the broader community through Interfaith initiatives and creating joint programs with Antioch Baptist Church and the Upper Westchester Muslim Society.

Visit us at bethelnw.org

Filed Under: Words & Wisdoms From Our Sponsors Tagged With: community, connections, Enriching, High Holy Days, Inclusive, Outreach, Prayer, reflection, Social Action, social justice, Temple Beth El, Temple Beth El of Northern Westchester

Toward Remembering and Reflecting: The New Castle Holocaust Memorial

December 1, 2019 by Grace Bennett

Photos in this feature by Samantha Milewicz for the Inside Press

How Two Chappaqua Residents Committed to Holocaust Remembrance & Education Made It Happen

“When you listen to a witness, you become a witness.” –Elie Wiesel, founder of the U.S. Holocaust Memorial Museum

In 2012, Alexandra Rosenberg (Ali) was lucky enough to spend a night listening to Elie Wiesel speak at Barnard College, Columbia University. She remembered him saying two things that forever stuck with her. The first was, “As long as survivors are here, listen to them…”. And the second was, “Indifference is never an option.” She spent the next six years hearing survivors speak as often as she could and felt if survivors had the courage to share their stories it was her duty to be their audience.

Ali began to focus her efforts on making an impact on the community and the schools. She wanted to find a way to increase Holocaust education for the next generation so that they could feel empowered to prevent this from ever happening again.

All of this led to the creation of a committee for the town and an organization for the students: the town renews its awareness and the students can learn. Together, the New Castle Holocaust & Human Rights Committee and the Horace Greeley High School student organization E.N.O.U.G.H.–Educate Now On Understanding Genocide and Hate will provide annual Holocaust and Human Rights programming to our community and our children.

In addition, Ali recommended the creation of a New Castle Holocaust Memorial which would stand in a visible area of our town where residents of all ages can reflect, remember and learn about the important lessons of the Holocaust.

Gaining a Town’s Support

Rosenberg approached Town Supervisor Robert Greenstein in April who threw his support behind her ideas. Aware of her friend Stacey Saiontz’s commitment to Holocaust education and remembrance, Ali approached Stacey to help her realize her vision for the community. Saiontz holds leadership roles at the Auschwitz Jewish Center, the Museum of Jewish Heritage and the Holocaust and Human Rights Education Center. In October, Saiontz was honored with a National Leadership Award by the U.S. Holocaust Memorial Museum, www.ushmm.org, where she is a founding member of the Museum’s “Next Generation” board.

Photo courtesy of Alexandra Rosenberg

After introducing their combined experience and ideas, Rosenberg and Saiontz met with the Town Board and the Recreation and Parks Commission, and the idea for the New Castle Holocaust Memorial was approved.

Greenstein said, “This is one of the most meaningful projects that I’ve worked on over the last six years. It’s crucial that we remember the lessons of history and provide future generations with the tools to combat hate and bigotry.” Subsequently, Greenstein and the Town Board established the New Castle Holocaust & Human Rights Committee appointing Rosenberg and Saiontz as Co-Chairs and calling for applicants to apply for the eight Committee member positions and two student liaison positions for E.N.O.U.G.H..

The Daffodil Project

At Community Day on September 14th the students set up a table and introduced the club to the community. The students explained that the mission of E.N.O.U.G.H. is to empower students to stand up to hate and to develop a community of tolerance through education and the understanding of people’s differences.

The students also sold daffodil bulbs which were planted at the Memorial in October. The sale of the daffodil bulbs was part of a larger initiative–The Worldwide Daffodil Project (daffodilproject.net). The Worldwide Daffodil project’s purpose is to commemorate the lives of the children lost during the Holocaust. The goal is to plant 1.5 million daffodils across the world–one daffodil for every child killed during the Holocaust.

A few weeks before the dedication and opening ceremony, E.N.O.U.G.H student members coordinated a Community Planting Event. Students and residents, together with Saiontz and Rosenberg, planted 750 daffodil bulbs which will blossom in the spring when the community holds an annual event commemorating Yom Hashoah, Holocaust Remembrance Day.

The Dedication and Opening Ceremony

Rosenberg explained that, “The Dedication and Opening Ceremony was purposely planned to coincide with Kristallnacht, “The Night of Broken Glass”, which symbolized the final shattering of the Jewish existence in Europe. And so, on November 6 , in cool temps on the lit green field outside our pretty Gazebo, a full array of dignitaries gathered, each to speak out against antisemitism and hate. They included President Bill Clinton, State Assemblyman David Buchwald, State Senator Peter Harckham, County Executive George Latimer and Town Supervisor Elect Ivy Pool. Former Westchester Legislature chairman Mike Kaplowitz, New Castle town board members Lisa Katz and newly elected board members Jeremy Saland and Jason Lichtenthal also attended.

Greenstein, Rosenberg and Saointz each spoke. I was graciously invited to speak as well on behalf of my father, Jacob Breitstein, who was a Survivor of Auschwitz-Birkenau. As part of the ceremony a bench was dedicated in my Father’s loving memory. Rosenberg and Saiontz said: “It was a way to honor your father who so many have come to know through your affectionate writing about ‘Poppy’ and for all you do for New Castle and Holocaust awareness.”

Holocaust survivor Peter Somogyi offered the keynote address which conveyed the pain and horror he endured as a victim of Dr. Mengele’s cruel experiments. A candle lighting ceremony was led by survivors and also by students of E.N.O.U.G.H.

At the ceremony the Co-Presidents of E.N.O.U.G.H., Sam Rosenberg and Charlie Gordon, unveiled the memorial plaque. The inscription on the plaque says, “In memory of the six million Jews and millions of other victims who were persecuted and murdered simply because of who they were and what they believed. In honor of those who survived the Holocaust, and those who risked and gave their lives to save them. NEVER AGAIN.”

Matty Wasserman, a Junior at Horace Greeley High School and the winner of the Horace Greeley High School Quote Submission Contest, read the original quote that he wrote, now listed below the words NEVER AGAIN on the Memorial plaque. Wasserman’s quote reads: “Although no one can change the hate that occurred, to not acknowledge it and understand it would be forcing it upon our future.”

As part of the ceremony Rabbis, Cantors and Reverend from local synagogues and churches joined together in prayer and song. The materials for the memorial and bench as well as the landscaping were generously donated by Manzer’s Landscape Design & Development based in Peekskill. The memorial plaque was funded by an anonymous Chappaqua family.

“Our Residents are our Town’s Best Assets”

Right here in our town, these two extraordinary women, each with their own respective and immensely impressive histories of philanthropy, advocacy and Holocaust education, have ‘listened’ to and embodied the very spirit of the witnesses of whom Wiesel speaks. Together these women partnered with a mutual mission to honor survivors, and to ultimately fight antisemitism and all hate by keeping the lessons of the Holocaust alive for present and future generations.

In 2017, HBO created an 18-minute documentary, featuring a conversation between Saiontz’s grandfather and sons, specifically to educate students. Saiontz commented that the creation of the Memorial, the Committee and E.N.O.U.G.H. will now serve as a platform to educate the community and future generations about the lessons of the Holocaust and the importance of taking action. “The Holocaust did not start with the gas chambers and killing. It started with indifference to hate. We need to teach people to stand up to hate wherever it may fester.”

All of Rosenberg’s and Saiontz’s initiatives have been aimed at combatting the significant rise in hate that is permeating our world. Rosenberg said, ”The Holocaust is not only a Jewish story it is a HUMAN story and one that began with HATE. Over these last several years hate has crept back into our world’s, our children’s world’s and specifically our children’s schools. Hate crimes in schools have increased by 25% for the 2nd year in a row. Collectively, it is time that we all say E.N.O.U.G.H. of the reactionary response to hate. It is time to be proactive.”

Filed Under: Cover Stories Tagged With: Alexandra Rosenberg, Bench Dedication, Bill Clinton, Daffodil Project, E.N.O.U.G.H, Elie Wiesel, Greeley students, Holocaust education, Jacob Breitstein, New Castle Holocaust Memorial, Peter Somogyi, reflection, remembrance, Robert Greenstein, Stacey Saiontz, survivors, Town of New Castle

Goodbye to 2018; Why, Hello ‘Beautiful’

November 24, 2018 by Grace Bennett

Ok, I’m trying to stay positive. Still, it feels good to say ‘so long’ to what has been downright ugly. We have seen the impact of hate mongering and a gun epidemic across America, from the spike in hate and lethal crimes across the board, as was the case with the terror directed toward so many prominent individuals via U.S. mail, and immediately thereafter, the horrific tragedies via gunfire at the Tree of Life Synagogue and at the Thousand Oaks nightclub. Then disaster struck, as we sat back helpless taking in the massive wildfire in California and its accompanying death toll of nearly 90 people with hundreds still missing, And in our backyard, as we went to press, The Inside Press team was saddened to learn that a passionate community campaign to bring Armando Rojas back home, had not succeeded. A saving feeling prevails, however: There is great comfort when we all come together as a community to mourn tragedies and put our heads together on how to make our future brighter for all of us and future generations.

As the publisher of a magazine for communities that are off the charts charitable, I also know that behind all the bad news, there is much that’s positive and promising and beautiful on the landscape for our future, and so we will be keeping our eyes peeled for all that. As we head into 2019, via our team, we’re going to keep bringing what’s ‘beautiful’ in our lives to you, from the ‘Inside’ out, for certain. For our first edition in 16 years of publishing, a March/April 2019 book, please look for our ‘Beautiful’ theme throughout, and get in touch early to ask how you can support us. Please write to grace@insidepress.com.

Beautiful Gedney Park playground on a Winter’s Day. Photo by Grace Bennett

In the meantime, thank you to all the residents here ‘and beyond’ who read and share stories we work hard to produce. Thank you to all the generous sponsors who support  community print and online coverage. Wishing you and our families much warmth and joy and all things beautiful through the holiday season.

Filed Under: Just Between Us Tagged With: 2018, 2019, Armando Rojas, Comfort, community, future generations, Goodbye, Hello, holiday season, Inside, Moving Forward, new year, reflection, tragedies, Tree of Life, warmth, winter

Reframing Loss and Gain

October 21, 2015 by The Inside Press

Apple picking with the family in 2014: From left, Timothy Radice, Gabriella Radice, Gavin Radice, Kourtney DeRosa-Radice.
Apple picking with the family in 2014: From left, Timothy Radice, Gabriella Radice, Gavin Radice, Kourtney DeRosa-Radice.

By Kourtney DeRosa-Radice

Not too long ago, I was 85 pounds heavier than I am today. I moved to Westchester, had two children back-to-back and pretty much put my needs and wants on the back burner.  I prepared my children organic baby food, dressed them in the cutest little outfits, brought them to those fancy gym classes for little ones and LOVED them beyond words.  However, my self-care was another story. I started eating frozen processed foods, traveled around in faded black sweatpants, canceled my gym membership, and pretty much stopped caring for myself. My days of being that women I once was were now gone; this was the new me, the new mom me. My priorities were different and that was okay, or so I told myself.

One day, after getting a glimpse of a picture of my kids with a “stranger,” aka mom, I decided to take action and started a journey down a road that would eventually lead me back to the women I once was, the women I loved and knew so well. Ironically this journey pretty much mirrored all that I had been doing for my children. My days started consisting of eating mostly clean, non-processed foods (similar to what my children had been eating), completing daily workouts (though not at fancy gyms like my kids) and dressing like I was leaving the house (even if I wasn’t).

The result of my efforts was a huge weight loss, which I am congratulated about daily. Each day I hear the words, “Wow, congratulations on your loss…” “Awesome job with your loss…” “You must be so proud of your loss…” Hearing the word loss day after day, used in such a positive manner feels odd. I had been programmed from a young age to think of loss as a negative. I’ve always connected loss to sadness. I’ve connected it to stress and aggravation.  I’ve viewed it as loss–not gain.

Then, one day, after being at a Moms Night Out and talking about my loss yet again, I had that “ah hah” moment.  You know, those moments when you realize you need to rethink our thinking! Wait, I thought. my weight loss isn’t the only loss in my life that has been positive. I quickly went through the moments in my life where I experienced sadness as a result of loss.

I thought about my husband losing his job on the trading floor when the markets went electronic. I thought about losing a beautiful home in Pleasantville in a bidding war. I thought about losing out on what I thought was my dream teaching position in Westchester. Then I thought about what I gained from each of these experiences. My husband losing his job led me to become a nutrition coach which has allowed me to support hundreds of people with their weight loss. Losing our dream home in Pleasantville encouraged us to expand our search and this led us to finding a home in Armonk. And that dream job–well, had I been offered it, I would have never decided to stay at home part time with my children. This idea that a loss could actually bring you to a happier place, a healthier place, an all around better place was now clear in my mind.

As we approach the Thanksgiving Holiday and I continue to think about this whole idea of loss I can’t help but wonder if everyone already knows what it took me 36 years to figure out. Do people know that loss, though negative in some aspects, can also be positive as well? Do people know that sometimes a loss is actually just a gain in disguise?

This year things will be different at my Thanksgiving table for sure. For one, the food I typically prepare will be getting a facelift. There will be no marshmallows on my sweet potatoes and no cream in my corn. There will be no green bean casserole with cream of mushroom soup and no gravy on my turkey. There will, however, be a revised list of what I am thankful for. This year I am going to take a step back and reflect on all that I have lost. I plan to give thanks for all the loss in my life that has brought me to the place I am today. Sometimes it is hard to see the positives in loss, but, when you put on those special lenses, they begin to jump out at you.

With this I challenge you to go beyond only giving thanks for what you have gained this year and, instead, think about what YOU have lost. Have you experienced a loss this year, which has inadvertently led to a positive in your life?  As you sit at your Thanksgiving table and you give thanks for all the gains you have attained, remember to include your losses too. After all they deserve to be thanked as well.

Kourtney DeRosa-Radice is an Armonk mom, public school teacher and Team Beachbody Health and Fitness Coach.  When not enjoying her children or teaching her students she devotes her time to assisting clients in reaching their health and fitness goals. Kourtney can be reached at: Kradice@beachbodycoach.com

reframe4

Filed Under: Armonk EtCetera Tagged With: advice, Family, health, Inside Press, reflection, theinsidepress.com, weight loss

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