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Father's Day

Remembering My Dad

May 31, 2019 by Marlene Kern Fischer

This Father’s Day, my family will be celebrating my husband, who is an amazing father. But I will also be thinking about my father, who passed away four years ago.

A little about my dad …

My father was born in Budapest, Hungary in 1932. When the Nazis invaded Hungary in 1944, both his parents were taken to Auschwitz. He was interned in a ghetto and lived with an aunt and a cousin, surviving under the protection of Swedish diplomat Raoul Wallenberg. His mother escaped during a death march, running away into the woods and eventually returned to Hungary. His father died at Auschwitz in the gas chambers.

My dad emigrated to Canada after the war ended with a group of Hungarian teens who had lost parents in the war–his mother eventually emigrated there, as well. He attended McGill University, met my mom who was visiting relatives in Montreal, and moved to New York when they married. He worked as an engineer and was able to get his Master’s degree from Columbia University at night.

Although the Holocaust certainly shaped my father, he tried hard not to let it define him and he rarely spoke of the atrocities he witnessed. He made sure to live life fully, enjoying good food, wine and music. He was quick to laugh, especially at his own brand of dad humor. My father embraced his adopted country and was deeply grateful for the freedoms and opportunities afforded him here.

Having been born in different countries and in different eras, my father and I saw things from different perspectives. He was a staunch Republican, whereas I am a liberal Democrat. When I was a little girl, he would take me into the voting booth with him and teach me the importance of voting, telling me how lucky we were to live in a democracy. I always vote and when I choose my candidates, I think of him.

Although I thought of my father as more of a math/science guy, he was also more than proficient in writing–in fact he was able to edit my essays in high school and correct my grammar–pretty impressive for someone whose first language was not English. He was my first Scrabble opponent–he never went easy on me. Although it took me two years to beat him, when I finally did, he was as excited as I was.

Despite losing his own father at a young age, my dad knew how to be a good father. He taught my brother and me how to ride a bike, fish, ice skate, swim and play chess, which was a passion of his. He got up in the middle of the night with me when I was sick and dried my tears when I cried—he couldn’t bear to see me sad. He taught me a lot about nurturing and made me feel safe. When he held me in the ocean when I was a little girl, I knew I would be protected against the crashing waves.

My father was thrilled to become a grandfather and was delighted to be able to attend all five of his grandsons’ bar mitzvahs. Although he was mostly confined to a wheelchair for my youngest son’s bar mitzvah, he did manage get up so that he could have one dance with me.

When he got sick with Parkinson’s disease, he rarely complained, accepting his fate with quiet grace and even humor. In fact, a few days before he died, a nurse asked him if he was comfortable, to which he replied, “I make a living.” And even in such a compromised state, he managed to chuckle.

I would be remiss if I didn’t mention my father’s thriftiness, which was legendary. If saving money were an Olympic sport, he would’ve been a gold medalist. He would turn off the air conditioner on summer nights and turn down the heat in the winter. To this day, when I leave a light on, I can hear his admonishment in my head. And every time I spend three dollars on my iced coffee, I am pretty sure he does a little roll in his grave.

I suppose that’s how it is with all the people we love. We never forget them or the things they taught us. We are reminded of them in the special moments and in the ordinary moments. They live on through the people they loved and who loved them back.

Happy Father’s Day to all the dads who are with us and to those who live on in our hearts.

Filed Under: Et Cetera Tagged With: Columbia University, Dad, Father's Day, holocaust, Hungary, love, Miss, remembrance

A Day in My Life of Shopping Locally–in June

June 5, 2018 by Inside Press

Shop Local enthusiast and blogger, Marlene Fischer

I know I am not alone when I say this Spring has been crazy busy. (Yes, I realize I say the same thing every year but it’s true!) During this hectic time of year I am grateful that I can get almost everything I need done right here in Armonk.

I start my errands with a trip to Framings on Main Street. Most of what hangs on the walls of my house has been framed by the talented, friendly and patient staff at Framings. While I don’t have much (or, actually, any) fine art, the folks there treat each item I bring in as if it’s a Renoir. I have framed my children’s artwork, family photos, certificates (like the one my youngest son received at Disney World that declares him a Jedi in training) and even a few of my favorite blog pieces. This time around I am proudly bearing my middle son’s diploma; he has just graduated college and I am happy to take advantage of the 20.18 percent discount Framings is offering on all diplomas. It doesn’t matter if your child just graduated from nursery school or received their  degree in neurosurgery, the discount will still apply!

Next, I pop in to Manny’s with my youngest son, who is in desperate need of a haircut. My husband and three sons have been getting their hair cut at Manny’s for 20 years; we even have video of my youngest looking somewhat alarmed as he gets his very first haircut there nearly 16 years ago (and I still have a lock of his hair from that day). From their early haircuts when they needed booster seats to their summer pre-camp buzz cuts to their bar-mitzvah cuts to their very important job interview haircuts, the team at Manny’s has been there for us. Hairstyles may change but our choice of barber shop will remain the same. My boys always get a kiss from me after their haircuts (because they look so handsome) and I never leave without getting a Tootsie Pop or large gumball.

I walk to DeCicco & Sons where I have been grocery shopping almost daily since it opened. Not to brag or anything, but I feel like a celebrity when I’m there (although I’m guessing that’s how they make everyone feel). I love shopping at DeCicco because the produce is exceptionally fresh, their fish is delivered daily, and they have one of the best gourmet cheese selections I’ve ever seen. Summer is the perfect time to choose from their extensive assortment of beers; if you have any questions, the knowledge staff is more than happy to help. DeCicco may not be the biggest grocery store, however, I am always amazed at how I can pretty much get everything I need there (I was even able to buy a graduation card). And if they don’t have something on my list, they are happy to get it for me. If you see me there, please say hello!

Since the weather has finally warmed up after the endless winter, I drive over to Beascakes Bakery for an iced tea lemonade and to order a platter of themed cookies for a weekend barbeque we will be attending. Last time I brought cookies from Beascakes, our friends called them crack because they couldn’t stop eating them; they were that good. And in case you were wondering, people prefer the white half of black and white cookies. End of the year parties? Father’s Day (which don’t forget is Sunday June 17)? Graduation or birthday celebrations? A wedding? Camp Visiting Day? College send off? Whatever the occasion, Beascakes has you covered with their custom cupcakes, cakes, fruit pies and donuts, as well as their Best of Westchester award-winning chocolate chip cookies. If you can imagine it, they can bake and decorate it.

My husband mentions he’s able to get out of work a little early and, since I don’t feel like cooking, I get spruced up (which is no small feat on a weeknight) and meet him at Gavi Restaurant. We have been regulars there for decades; the warm staff always makes us feel welcome. Our oldest son still requests we go there when he’s home for a visit. Although we eat there year round, I love Gavi even more in the summer. The outdoor patio is perfect for having a glass of wine and enjoying the weather; I actually feel as if we are away when we dine al fresco at Gavi. The spinach salad, pasta dishes and fish are among my favorite things to order, although I can also be tempted by the delicious specials  When we bring our whole family, dinner always ends with coffee or tea and the world’s best tartufo.

Wishing you all a fantastic summer; I hope it brings you fun, adventure and a sense of renewal. See you back here in the Fall when I will continue to shop locally!

Filed Under: Lifestyles with our Sponsors Tagged With: A Day in the Life, Armonk, Black and White Cookies, Celebrity, DeCicco & Sons, Father's Day, Framings, Gavi Restaurant, graduation, grocery store, June, Luxe, Manny's Unisex Haircutting, Marlene Fischer, North Castle, outdoor patio, Shop Local, Shopping Locally

Inside Press: 15 Years of Caring

May 23, 2018 by Grace Bennett

As we wrap up two more beautiful late spring/early summer editions, I proudly call your attention to a local publishing history that includes the following honors:

  • Westchester/Putnam Women in Communications ‘Superwoman of the Year’ Award
  •  Media Award, Mental Health Association of Westchester
  • Bernard J. Rosenshein Courage to Care Award, Holocaust and Human Rights Education Center

We conceive and produce community and regional stories that keep in step with our times and a larger national picture sometimes too. Mostly, we like when our stories touch hearts and stir souls, or otherwise resonate with our readers. We aim, whenever we can, to make a difference to lives both inside and outside our area. Our editions, given that they spotlight your neighbors, are read cover to cover, and all our stories are linked online to theinsidepress.com.

I’ll be celebrating Father’s Day honoring my 96- year-old dad, of course… He’s my biggest fan and here he is enjoying recent Inside Press editions.

In my estimation, the call to ‘Shop Local’ means supporting local media too, whether you are an advertiser or a reader. After all, consider that social media could get a little dull without all the wonderfully reported stories to share, too! Still in 2018: September/October, November and Holiday edition advertising opportunities in print and/or online. To advertise and/or order a voluntary or gift subscription, drop a note to grace@insidepress.com

Thank you for all your support in spirit too. Buoyed as we head into (a hopefully warm!) June, celebrating dads and grads, I wish you and your families near and far a wonderful, and healthy summer of fun and exploration.  — Grace

I can’t resist sharing some proud family news that my son Ari Bennett (HGHS ’14) is graduating Union College on June 17 too! He is seated here together with his fellow artist classmates during an Open House for a Senior Art Exhibit called Perspectives. Congrats to all!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Letter to the Editor

On behalf of Lagond Music School,The Mental Health Association of Westchester, and Music & Miles, Changing Minds, we thank you for attending our March 10 Living Proof event and writing an in depth piece that shines the light on the power of music, mental health awareness and education. We are so pleased we could raise enough monies for two high school music scholarships in Miles’ memory and mental health services. Your article brought the evening to life in a very meaningful way.

Shari and Ed Applebaum
Event Co-Chairs, Music & Miles: Changing Minds

Filed Under: Just Between Us Tagged With: Arts, Caring, Father's Day, graduation, Heart and Soul, Just Between Us, Local, Local Magazines, publishing, Regional, Shop Local, Spring, summer, Summertime, Union College

The Care and Feeding of a Chappaqua Dad

May 27, 2014 by The Inside Press

dad-w-tieBy Ian Karr

This June, in honor of Father’s Day, I’m going to break the Guy Code and reveal the Simple Things at the top of every Dad’s wish list. They also happen to be the secrets to keeping men happy and attentive forever. I know these are lofty claims, but we men are very simple creatures with even simpler needs.

It’s no surprise that men don’t “get” 50 Shades of Gray and women don’t “get” The Three Stooges. We’re hard-wired differently. Ironically, guys are about as complex as the Stooges. To us, life is about our family, friends, work…and trying not to get poked in the eye.

Whether we identify with Moe, Larry, or Curly, there are several Simple Things that seem to hold true for most men. Admittedly, I’m the farthest thing from a psychologist. But I did start Chappaqua Dads on Facebook. And I’ve been male my whole life. So please take a leap of faith and accept my authority on these Things. Or at least ask your guy if they ring true.

Simple Thing Number One:

We want a sanctuary. It’s extremely important to guys that the place we call home stands in stark contrast to the crazy world outside. Remember, only a few thousand years have passed since we were cavemen. That’s barely enough time on an evolutionary scale to grow an eyelash. We may carry iPhones today, but we still crave that cave; a safe, peaceful place to eat and sleep without fear of attack.

Simple Thing Number Two:

We need physical contact on a semi-regular basis. Big DUH, right? But it’s not just about the act. For us, sex is a mix of intimacy, pleasure, pursuit, success, and a hundred other things that make us feel like men. It’s deeply rooted in our sense of self. We certainly don’t expect our partners to be “in the mood” all the time, but the way we’re turned down matters.

Simple Thing Number Three:

We like cheerleaders. Okay, maybe corner-man is a better metaphor. Guys often see the world as a boxing ring. Our days are filled with bouts large and small. When the bell rings and we come home to our neutral corner (see sanctuary above), there’s nothing better than having someone there to put ice on our bruises, cheer us on, and make us want to go back in and fight another round.

It’s important to point out that these Simple Things have nothing to do with who works, who takes care of the kids, or who has to walk the dog at midnight. They are simply the keys to keeping men, as a species, happy. Use them at your own risk.

There’s one more Thing, but it’s about men and women equally.

The noted philosopher Martin Buber had a theory that all human interactions, whether with your mailman or your spouse, have a virtual life of their own. Buber termed these interactions “Spiritual Children.” Just like a real child, your “Spiritual” one can grow up sick or healthy, be a success or a failure, or hit you up for a hundred bucks and the car keys. The fourth Simple Thing is about taking care of the most important Spiritual Child: your relationship.

Simple Thing Number Four:

Your relationship comes first. Yes, before children. Before work. Before everything. The theory is that if you put your relationship first, you’re more likely to have a stable and loving foundation for being a better parent, a more productive worker, and a happier person. Take that vacation without the kids. Your family will be better for it.

That’s about it. If you already knew how simple we are, great! If you didn’t, you now have the power to give the best Father’s Day gift(s) ever. Or, you could just get us another necktie.

Guys, please forgive me. I know this information could be used to turn us into happy zombies, but I thought it was worth the risk.

Ian Karr graduated Tulane University with a degree in Sociology and is happy to have finally used it for something. Otherwise, he tries not to embarrass his wife Lauren and his kids, Jayden and Gregory. Sometimes he succeeds.

 

Filed Under: Cover Stories Tagged With: Dads, Father's Day

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