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depression

The Space Between Light and Darkness BREAK THE HOLD FOUNDATION

August 24, 2019 by Sabra Staudenmaier

PHOTOS BY DONNA MUELLER

Changing the Conversation about Youth Mental Health

Mental health issues can be difficult to understand. Struggles of the mind are laden with kaleidoscopic subtleties that can complicate their management and resolution. How can we help someone who is in a place where the pain and suffering in their mind is so terrible that it outweighs everything else life offers? Between the light of wellness and the darkness of mental illness there is a dim place that is under-discussed. It is here that a social network, community, family, friends and self-care plays a crucial role; this is where life-saving opportunities are being missed.

Through a new and innovative program, the Break The Hold (BTH) Foundation of Pleasantville is making strides by breaking down misconceptions about mental illness and building a safety network that mitigates the real risk factors. They are, in effect, extending branches for those suffering to grab hold of and implementing safety nets to catch those who are spiraling into darkness.

Driven by the love for their middle son, Brian T. Halloran, who lost his battle with depression in January of 2018, Pleasantville residents Brian and Jolina Halloran are determined to help those suffering the way he did. Through the BTH Foundation, named after their son’s initials, the

Suicide is the second leading cause of death for ages 10-24. Each day in the U.S., there is an average of over 3,470 attempts by young people in grades 9-12. Four out of Five teens who attempt suicide have given clear warning signs. They don’t want to die.

Source: bthbreakthehold.org

Hallorans provide school and community-based advocacy programs that promote emotional wellness, resilience and suicide prevention in Pleasantville and nearby communities. Their program focuses on suicide education, raising awareness of the warning signs and empowering young people to have the courage to communicate about this difficult but important issue. The BTH Foundation is giving the community the tools to deal with mental health preventatively and is referring those suffering to the appropriate places to get the help they need. The outstanding progress the BTH Foundation has made merits attention.

The Education Platform – BTH 360

In short, the BTH Foundation’s mission is suicide prevention. The BTH program advocates a safety net system of “Recognizing and Referring”; teaching those in the community how to recognize someone suffering and refer them to receive appropriate help. “We often hear that a friend had seen a flag that could have been addressed but felt that saying something about their friend’s struggles is snitching. The message needs to get out that keeping friends healthy and happy is the right thing to do,” says Brian Halloran.

When BTH is contacted, they have a team of clinicians who, based on a triage system, put together an action plan to help connect those in need with viable options and work to overcome barriers to treatment such as financial cost.

Prevention through education is key. The BTH Foundation has worked alongside the Pleasantville High School (PHS) administration and a team of local psychologists.  Together, they have developed programming for the school district that satisfies the NY State mandates for mental health in the curriculum. Their program is focused on teaching Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT), which is evidence-based training for emotional regulation. DBT uses mindfulness strategies to manage emotions, increasing student’s tolerance of negative emotions.

The idea is that everyone will be speaking the same language, everyone will learn to respond a little bit more thoughtfully rather than emotionally. We must get to the kids early. They need to be able to understand and communicate what is going on in their heads,” says Halloran.

Last September, ninth graders in PHS had 16 hours of mandated mental health education incorporated into the school curriculum. This coming school year, fifth graders will receive 10 hours of the program. Within 4 years everyone at PHS will have had 26 hours of DBT training. In addition, all staff in the Pleasantville High School, Middle School and Elementary School are receiving 8 hours of DBT training. Parent workshops are offered regularly.

It is especially important to educate teens before they go to college. The BTH Foundation arranges senior transition meetings to help. “Adolescents lose many protective factors once they leave home to go away to college. Many risk factors increase at this time,” Halloran warns.

BTH is sharing their model with neighboring school districts around Westchester. For example, this Fall, the program will be rolled out to ninth graders at Alexander Hamilton High School in Elmsford.  The Foundation is also working to get government resources.

Dismantling the Stigma

Those suffering with mental illness are not the only ones in the dark. Some people think of suicide as “the ultimate selfish act” and wonder “how could they do that to their family and friends?” These judgements are often based on misconceptions. Most who die by suicide do not want to end their life; they want to escape their pain. Suicide is not a rational decision; it is one made under extreme duress.

A person trapped in a burning building might reasonably make the decision to jump out of the window rather than suffer the pain and anguish of being burned by the fire. A person jumping off a bridge to end their life is trying to escape pain that is very real, just like the pain of burning to death. The instinct to escape mental suffering can be as powerful as the instinct to escape physical pain. BTH is trying to break down social barriers to recovery by addressing misconceptions and normalizing the conversation about mental health.

Mental health is a public health issue requiring the help of the entire community. We have lifeguards and life preservers to mitigate the risks of swimming, the Heimlich maneuver to prevent choking and defibrillators in the case of cardiac arrest. Public controls are placed in countless situations to manage health risks. The BTH system of Recognizing and Referring is something everyone can help implement. The community should not underestimate how important they are.

Are you OK? Is something wrong? Can I help you? Those were the words I desperately wanted to hear.” – Kevin Hines, Suicide The Ripple Effect

The Art of Mental Wellness

We can’t stop thoughts from coming into our heads, but we can cultivate an awareness of them. Just because a thought is in your head does not mean it’s true. Skills can be taught so thoughts can be assessed and managed. For someone struggling with a mental illness like depression, thoughts of self-criticism and self-doubt can grow to become powerful and even debilitating. Thoughts like: “everything I do is wrong”, “nobody likes me”, “everyone I love would be better off without me”, “I have nothing to give”, “I am not able to live up to what everyone needs from me” and “I am a failure.”

Living with these ruminating thoughts is frightening and painful.

Unable to control and manage overwhelming negative thoughts, and not understanding what is happening in your head, can lead to a feeling of being trapped. Panic can ensue and bring with it impulses to escape the epic amount of mental and emotional suffering that the negative thoughts create.

The shame of what is secretly happening inside one’s mind prevents resolution and the thoughts continue to spiral. “I felt unable to function. I was being crippled by my struggle as the pain got louder and louder. It might have looked like I was ok on the outside, but the amount of work it took to maintain this false appearance was not sustainable,” recalls one survivor of depression.

The shame that prevents one from reaching out for help is a huge barrier to treatment. The person suffers internally in silence as their condition worsens and signs are missed.

Those who could help don’t know how to read the signs indicating there is an issue, and if they do sense there is something going on they don’t know how to react. If the person continues to suffer in silence, they are unlikely to get better. Depending on the sufferer’s resilience and stress factors, the bubble can ultimately break.

Please remember to be kind. You never know what someone else is going through. Jolina Halloran.

Mental health struggles are managed best when openly discussed. “There is a false belief that talking about suicide will escalate the idea. However, the opposite is, in fact, the case. An adolescent or young adult who is spiraling downward benefits immensely from simply talking about their thoughts”, says Dr. Gayle Augenbaum, a child and adolescent psychiatry specialist who practices in Armonk. BTH gives people a safe and accessible place for these conversations to take place. These simple conversations can deter unhealthy choices such as self-medicating with drugs and alcohol or worse.

Ultimately the BTH Foundation encourages people to be involved in their own self-care. “If you want to beat this mental illness problem, you have to be involved in the process. Everyone can help and we need a network and a community of support, but it is also necessary to take effort in and be proactive in your own self-care,” advises Halloran. Just as an individual with asthma pays extra attention to their breath, and a person with a food allergy has a heightened awareness of what they eat; similarly, a person who suffers from “brain pain” can become aware of the thoughts that enter their minds and learn how to manage them.

You don’t necessarily beat depression once and then it is gone. It is often something you live with throughout your life. When a person who suffers from depression is well, they can learn to practice preventative measures to maintain and manage their mental health. Mental illnesses like depression can break down one’s resilience over time and can turn thoughts into irrational behavior. But the key is “over time”; that’s where the opportunity lies, between the light and the darkness.

How Mindfulness Can Help

The principles behind mindfulness are the basis for much of DBT. Mindfulness concepts like self-compassion, non-judgement and gratitude can redirect thoughts from the darkness into the light. “Meditation helps bring awareness to your thoughts. You are not blocking thoughts but relating to them differently, letting them come and go and observing them. This will help in life because you will be able to recognize when thoughts are not helpful and can dismiss them instead of intensifying them which can lead to sadness or anxiety,” says Jodi Baretz, a holistic based therapist from the Center for Health and Healing in Mt. Kisco.

There are other methods to proactively keep one’s mental health in shape. Exercise can help in many ways including shifting one’s focus from the mind to the body. Getting enough sleep can play a big role as well.

The Next Generation

There is concern that the next generation is especially at risk of depression. Technology fosters social isolation; the omnipresent screens that children and teens are growing up with are barriers to human interaction. Mental illness breeds on social isolation; humans are meant to be in groups and care about one another.

While it is extraordinarily difficult for an adult to manage a mental illness, it is even more difficult for a child or adolescent. “Kids and teenagers don’t have the right words to name their emotions and their frontal lobes are not finished developing. Therefore, they are more impulsive and more reactive and tend to be more rigid with whatever they are feeling, not recognizing that there is hope for change.” Says Augenbaum. Teens don’t have the ability yet to understand that situations aren’t permanent. This is a learned lesson that takes time and life experience they don’t yet have. And so, the risk factors continue to pile up.

Walking into the Light

The Hallorans have suffered the unimaginable in losing their son Brian. But with the work of the BTH Foundation, steps have been taken towards compassion and understanding and away from judgement and misconception. Every time a teen who has gone down the road of darkness is given the tools to recover, Brian is there. With Brian’s light leading the way, steps are being taken in the right direction. This past June, the community showed their support by participating in the BTH Foundation’s second suicide awareness walk. The steps they took communicated a clear message to those suffering from mental illness: you are not alone in this fight; we will walk into the light with you. For more information, please visit:  www.bthbreakthehold.org

 

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline:

800-273-TALK (8255) or Text “TALK” to 741-741

A Bit About Brian

Brian was a beloved son, brother and friend. He was well-liked, smart and athletic. He was friendly and had a lot of empathy for others. His parents knew he was a good person but “didn’t realize how kind he was”.  After he passed away, friends and acquaintances contacted his parents and told them that if Brian saw someone who seemed sad he would not hesitate to reach out to them.

Brian appeared to most to be a typical teenager, but underneath his strong exterior he was suffering from depression. Depression can come and go. It can appear to be managed but then come back. Though Brian had been doing well, still the day came in January 2018 when his parents got a knock on their door. Brian had died by suicide while away at school in South Carolina. Before Brian died he reached out to several people but was not able to connect with anyone.

 

Filed Under: Pleasantville Cover Stories Tagged With: Break the Hold, Conversation, depression, emotions, Light, Mindfulness, struggles, suicide, triage, Youth Mental Health

Tipper Gore & Breaking the Silence About Mental Illness

May 31, 2019 by Grace Bennett

Tipper Gore and Steve Lieber, Chairman of the BBRF Board Photo by Chad David Kraus

“Back in the day, there was bipartisan support for meeting mental health challenges,” Tipper Gore* said in a conversation with Jeffrey Borenstein, M.D, President and CEO  of Brain & Behavior Research Foundation, at the BBRF May New York City luncheon event, Breaking the Silence About Mental Illness. She told the attendees the common ground ‘worked,’ in that it eventually helped lead to the passage of the Wellstone bill which brought mental health parity to the workplace. “Sitting members on both side of the highest legislature of the land acknowledged there were mental health issues in families,” said Gore.

Today, Gore directs attention on mental health issues affecting middle school and high school students via her work with Tennessee Voices for Children (“there are 56,000 underserved children in Tennessee alone,” she said), and the Tyler Clementi Foundation, which focuses on anti-bullying and suicide prevention. She spoke of an alarming rise in the suicide rate among these younger people and a very concerning spike seen in girls. She expressed concern about a shortage of care: “We need more boots on the ground to have a greater impact.”

Gore also said that getting properly diagnosed and receiving the appropriate treatment when she herself suffered from depression provided “real relief,” pointing to the critical nature of BBRF’s efforts.

Dr. Borenstein said BBRF is the leading foundation for grants to scientists to effectively treat brain behavior disorders; since 1987, $394 million has been awarded to more than 4,700 researchers around the world, leading to $4 billion in additional funding.

BBRF funds “out of the box ideas for innovative research” which has led to important new treatments including the rapid acting antidepressant esketamine to treat refractory (treatment resistant) depression, and brexanolone for post-partum depression. “Every dollar donated goes to scientific research and 100% of the research is invested into grants,” he stated.

Luncheon Committee with Tipper Gore including (left of Gore) Dr. Jeffrey Borenstein, President and CEO, BBRF, and (to her right) Dr. Herb Pardes, President BBRF Scientific Council   Photos by Chad David Kraus

Gore’s participation in the day’s event was deeply appreciated by everyone at BBRF. “It was an honor and a privilege to have someone of her stature and with her passion help us,” said Chappaqua’s Lauren Duran, the BBRF Vice President for Communications Marketing & Public Relations.

*As Second Lady, Gore served as Mental Health Policy Advisor to the President, Her goals were to diminish the stigma surrounding mental illness and to bring awareness to the need for affordable mental health care. In 1999, Gore hosted the first White House Conference on Mental Health. That same year, she launched the National Mental Health Awareness Campaign (NMHAC) to encourage Americans to seek treatment for mental illness. Gore has frequently spoken about her own experience with depression and treatment following the near-fatal injury of her son Albert.

Source: Wikipedia

Filed Under: Cover Stories Tagged With: anti-depressants, BBRF, Brain & Behavior Research Foundation, Breaking the Silence, depression, Gore, innovative, Mental health, Mental Illness, research, Tennessee Voices for Children, Tipper Gore, Tyler Clementi Foundation

Courage & Compassion in Times of Crisis: The Keys to Helping Yourself or Anyone You Know

August 29, 2018 by Geri Mariano

Full Disclosure: I was not an active follower of either Kate Spade or Anthony Bourdain. In this day and age of social media and celebrity, I certainly knew who both were and what each brought to the table, pun intended. I never purchased the eponymous bag that made Miss Spade a household name. I should have been quite a fan of Mr. Bourdain, but truth be told, watching his programs discouraged me in recent years. I was reminded of all I have lost since the first of three major surgeries left me even more mobility impaired than I had been for the first 42+ years of my life. Additional truth be told, I’m a fashionista wanna-be born in the wrong body and a frustrated hostess with the mostess not to mention a grounded adventurer.

The two recent high profile suicides early this summer raised the serious topic of depression once again. It takes the hard to believe self-inflicted deaths of the famous for this to be covered in the news with the exception of occasional reporting on teen suicide as well as the high suicide rate among veterans. The death of beloved Robin Williams highlighted the topic that still today seems taboo. The vast majority of his fans, knowing him only from the small or big screens making us laugh, found it unbelievable that he could be desperately unhappy, depressed. Do we really WANT to know that friends, family or celebrities can be feeling hopeless?

Many who have read my blogs or followed my Just Call Me Geri Facebook page probably know that my Mother (the one who chose me from a newspaper picture), from my earliest consciousness, taught me the importance of not feeling sorry for myself. The message included the tacit warning that no one would like me if I showed self-pity. It was only decades later that I would learn that there is a significant difference between whining and legitimately feeling down due to my circumstances.

By no means have I had the worst life, far from it, but I started life with strikes against me, first being born in a deformed shell with a condition called Diastrophic Dysplasia (some still call it dwarfism) that would embody my soul and personality. Being abandoned in the hospital by biological parents who left instructions behind that “no pictures to be taken of this baby” added 2nd and 3rd strikes, yet I was never out.

I won’t list the entire litany of hardships faced through 50 years but some include:

  • Being asked why I would want to have a baby and do to them what happened to me;
  • Being humiliated at a summer camp by someone supposedly to have been family;
  • Hearing sighs, groans and whispers when people had to help me in/out of cars or up stairs (who’s going to help Geri?”) and to stay away during emergencies;
  • Being “gently” told I could never provide a home for a man I had feelings for and not to expect to ever get married;
  • Being “harassed” by a married man who knew I would have little to no other intimate opportunities;
  • Being belittled and disrespected in hospital facilities when known I was alone;
  • Having inappropriate medical treatments or not having appropriate medical interventions due to Government restrictions;
  • Being at mercy of caregivers, who can be rude, rough and larcenous;
  • Being told I’m too depressing to talk to …

When at 40 I had finally obtained a Master’s Degree to begin a long in trying to figure out career, I was soon stymied, having that career cut short by three surgeries that left me in worse shape than before. The last two surgeries I never would have consented to if I had been warned my mobility would be all but lost completely. I would have opted for shorter life span over non quality of life. When over 10–30 years ago I’d fall into pits of despair, I struggled mightily, conjured up plans, fingering bottles of medication, really my only option. Remembering the haunting conclusion of Edith Wharton’s “Ethan Frome” always prevented me from trying anything self destructive with my car, the only other possible tool at my disposal. Yet, I always dug deep, as far inside as I could to keep the wavering flame from going out. Once such night in the wee hours, I remember sitting on the floor by my bed sobbing with heaving muted screams. What brought me back was thinking of “my kids” and their parents …how would they explain to them that I gave up?

This disclosure can possibly hurt my alternate career in the making …aiming to be a successful inspirational speaker but this is my truth. I cannot be phony. I’m not asking for people to feel sorry for me, but to understand that there are no easy answers.

More additional truth be told, I’d much rather laugh than cry. I actually enjoy having others laugh at my sometimes corny, other times bawdy, humor. I really should find an amateur Stand Up/Sit Down Comedy venue. Ridiculous irony from the universe, I’m rather an extrovert. God couldn’t have made me an agoraphobic?

I have my “highs” when I have several speaking engagements booked but then the “lows” (oxymoronic?) come rising up. (oxymoronic?) when I can’t seem to break through, catch that one break. My life is not one that made headlines because of a national crisis such as the Boston Marathon Bombing. I didn’t lose limbs while fighting for my Country. I didn’t grow up in

the age of social media where Promposals to kids with Special Needs go viral. I do not begrudge today’s kids who benefit from widespread inclusion.

I do not begrudge these later generations of kids who have benefited from widespread inclusion. In fact, I’d like to think I helped pave the way. Perhaps I have been “of use” to quote John Irving’s Dr. Larch.

Depression can take deep hold of anyone. For those suffering, suicide can seem like the only way out. Others may see it as selfish. Feeling like a burden is not easy but once a person has that initial thought, it becomes nearly impossible to erase it from one’s mindset. Please have compassion for those who have left via their own actions. And if you “can handle the truth,” reach out to those who may be struggling. When I encourage students to look after each other, I ask, “wouldn’t you want someone to look after you?” For those who are struggling, please try to let someone know you’re hurting, reach deep down inside and find the courage to reach out for assistance without shame. Keep your flame lit!

Filed Under: Et Cetera Tagged With: Anthony Bourdain, compassion, courage, depression, Geri Mariano, Helping, Just Call Me Geri, Kate Spade, life, suicide, Teen suicide

Next to Normal: A True Family Affair, and Then Some!

June 5, 2018 by Inside Press

By Kathryn Kitt

Kathryn Kitt

There have been a number of productions of “Next to Normal” since its Tony Award/Pulitzer prize winning moment in 2009 that have been wondrous.  The Armonk Players version is no exception, except, for me, the experience has come full circle.  I am Tom Kitt’s Sister, who is the composer and creator of “Next to Normal’ and have experienced the workshop process at the BMI Music Festival back in 1996 with the original title “Feeling Electric – Up the Dose.” It was the brainstorm of Tom and his college friend/lyricist Brian Yorkey who had the assignment to present a 10 minute musical idea to their BMI musical theatre class. 

The cast of Next to Normal in rehearsal. Photo by is Lauren Oliviero

Thomas, as I called him, and I were both living in New York City at the time and it was quite a special time for us while we were trying to work in the music business.  I trained as an Opera singer, so I went to auditions and sang in performances around the city.  Tom, in addition to being at BMI, played at a piano bar on the East Side where my extended family would gather on weekends – complete with me singing Puccini and Andrea Boccelli.  Lin-Manuel Miranda and Jenn Colella (“Come from Away”) would show up and soon it would become open mic in the Murray Hill section of Manhattan.

While Tom worked on the musical, he recruited me to sing some of the songs from “Next to Normal” in his class.  I was skeptical – who writes this type of musical, about mental health and depression?  I know “Rent” was a big hit, but it dealt with younger people who could wear tight clothes and do high kicks in platform shoes.  “Next to Normal” dealt with family and the dynamics that go along with it.  Needless to say, I eventually was proven wrong, for the show was picked up by David Stone – producer of “Wicked” after he saw a workshop of it in the New York Music Festival. 

The show culminated in Tom and Brian winning the Tony for Best score, beating out Elton John and Dolly Parton, Tom winning for best Orchestrations and then the Pulitzer.  This has resulted in quite a whirlwind for our family.  Tom has gone on to have quite a robust musical career in composing and orchestrating and is up for a Tony for orchestrations for the “Spongebob Musical on Broadway.”

When Christine DiTota and Pia Haas mentioned how they wanted to bring “Next to Normal” to the Tom’s hometown, I was completely on board!  I know that a show like this would bring the community together, be it teachers at Byram Hills (Adam Welsh, John Anthony Lopez), local performers (Christine Gavin, Anthony Malchar, Jess Bulzzaccheli, Jesse Herman), plus Phyllis Padow –Sederbaum and Vivien Bonnist Cord on props!  Everyone was so excited to bring this experience to Whipporwill and I could not be more proud!  Christine DiTota has kept the heart and staging of the story intact while Adam Welsh’s lighting captures the excitement of the Booth Theatre in NYC.

Of course, I had to get someone in the family involved and thanks to the brilliant musical director Ricky Romano, he took a chance and recruited my son Andrew Aldous (Byram Hills Junior) to play guitar in the band.  This has truly been the most exciting experience of all, and I am convinced that Andrew is channeling my brother up there.  

“Next to Normal” is surely a family affair, but this production goes beyond our little town.  It is a story about everyone’s family and how we all try to navigate challenges whether it be mental illness, teenage angst and loss.  I encourage anyone who feels deeply to see this show and prepare to be brought to a transformative place.  I thank the Armonk Players for their commitment and thoughtful production and I know we will never forget this moment!

Next to Normal, sponsored by the Friends of the North Castle Public Library, is playing at Whippoorwill Hall, 19 Whipporwill Road E., Armonk, NY 10504   Remaining Performance dates below.

   

Filed Under: Gotta Have Arts Tagged With: Armonk Players, Bipolar Disorder, Christine DiTota, depression, Kathryn Kitt, Mental Illness, Next to Normal, Pia Haas, theater, Tom Kitt

Judy Collins Helps Break the Taboo at MHA of Westchester Fundraiser

December 1, 2016 by Inside Press

judy-collins-best

“Break the taboo, tell the story,” Judy Collins told attendees of “An Evening of Conversation and Song,” the October 13th fundraiser for the Mental Health Association of Westchester at the Emelin Theater.

Collins, or “Judy Blue Eyes,” –- the legendary singer/songwriter of now classic American songs including “Both Sides, Now” and “Send in the Clowns,” –- proceeded to do just that, as she shared stories of her struggles with alcohol … “I was safe in New York with my therapist and half gallons of vodka.”

With depression…”While the outer self is looking so terrific, the inner self is saying: help, help.”

And finally, the different circumstances surrounding the suicide of her son and her own suicide attempt recovery.  “The music saved me,” she shared. “It always has…Art makes it possible to survive on this planet.”

And so has the understanding that failure is ‘ok,’ she said.

“Scientists will tell you they learn the most from their failures,” Collins said. “There is no guilt in suicide…it is all about the process of getting from one point to the other.”

There are people who know that ‘truth,’ she added. And advised: “Be part of that clan” who offer “a bridge to life.” She commended the staff and volunteers of the MHA “for the miraculous work you do.” Following Judys’ talk, attendees enjoyed a reception and book signing.

For more information, please visit mhawestchester.org.

 Grace Bennett, Publisher and Editor of the Inside Press, was recipient of a 2015 Media Award from the MHA of Westchester and a media sponsor for this event.

Judy Collins with Armonk resident Shari Applebaum
Judy Collins with Armonk resident Shari Applebaum

judy-collins-best-book

Filed Under: Happenings Tagged With: depression, Judy Collins, Mental health, MHA, MHA of Westchester, Shari Applebaum, Speaking engagement, suicide

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