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Pleasantville Cover Stories

The Space Between Light and Darkness BREAK THE HOLD FOUNDATION

August 24, 2019 by Sabra Staudenmaier

PHOTOS BY DONNA MUELLER

Changing the Conversation about Youth Mental Health

Mental health issues can be difficult to understand. Struggles of the mind are laden with kaleidoscopic subtleties that can complicate their management and resolution. How can we help someone who is in a place where the pain and suffering in their mind is so terrible that it outweighs everything else life offers? Between the light of wellness and the darkness of mental illness there is a dim place that is under-discussed. It is here that a social network, community, family, friends and self-care plays a crucial role; this is where life-saving opportunities are being missed.

Through a new and innovative program, the Break The Hold (BTH) Foundation of Pleasantville is making strides by breaking down misconceptions about mental illness and building a safety network that mitigates the real risk factors. They are, in effect, extending branches for those suffering to grab hold of and implementing safety nets to catch those who are spiraling into darkness.

Driven by the love for their middle son, Brian T. Halloran, who lost his battle with depression in January of 2018, Pleasantville residents Brian and Jolina Halloran are determined to help those suffering the way he did. Through the BTH Foundation, named after their son’s initials, the

Suicide is the second leading cause of death for ages 10-24. Each day in the U.S., there is an average of over 3,470 attempts by young people in grades 9-12. Four out of Five teens who attempt suicide have given clear warning signs. They don’t want to die.

Source: bthbreakthehold.org

Hallorans provide school and community-based advocacy programs that promote emotional wellness, resilience and suicide prevention in Pleasantville and nearby communities. Their program focuses on suicide education, raising awareness of the warning signs and empowering young people to have the courage to communicate about this difficult but important issue. The BTH Foundation is giving the community the tools to deal with mental health preventatively and is referring those suffering to the appropriate places to get the help they need. The outstanding progress the BTH Foundation has made merits attention.

The Education Platform – BTH 360

In short, the BTH Foundation’s mission is suicide prevention. The BTH program advocates a safety net system of “Recognizing and Referring”; teaching those in the community how to recognize someone suffering and refer them to receive appropriate help. “We often hear that a friend had seen a flag that could have been addressed but felt that saying something about their friend’s struggles is snitching. The message needs to get out that keeping friends healthy and happy is the right thing to do,” says Brian Halloran.

When BTH is contacted, they have a team of clinicians who, based on a triage system, put together an action plan to help connect those in need with viable options and work to overcome barriers to treatment such as financial cost.

Prevention through education is key. The BTH Foundation has worked alongside the Pleasantville High School (PHS) administration and a team of local psychologists.  Together, they have developed programming for the school district that satisfies the NY State mandates for mental health in the curriculum. Their program is focused on teaching Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT), which is evidence-based training for emotional regulation. DBT uses mindfulness strategies to manage emotions, increasing student’s tolerance of negative emotions.

The idea is that everyone will be speaking the same language, everyone will learn to respond a little bit more thoughtfully rather than emotionally. We must get to the kids early. They need to be able to understand and communicate what is going on in their heads,” says Halloran.

Last September, ninth graders in PHS had 16 hours of mandated mental health education incorporated into the school curriculum. This coming school year, fifth graders will receive 10 hours of the program. Within 4 years everyone at PHS will have had 26 hours of DBT training. In addition, all staff in the Pleasantville High School, Middle School and Elementary School are receiving 8 hours of DBT training. Parent workshops are offered regularly.

It is especially important to educate teens before they go to college. The BTH Foundation arranges senior transition meetings to help. “Adolescents lose many protective factors once they leave home to go away to college. Many risk factors increase at this time,” Halloran warns.

BTH is sharing their model with neighboring school districts around Westchester. For example, this Fall, the program will be rolled out to ninth graders at Alexander Hamilton High School in Elmsford.  The Foundation is also working to get government resources.

Dismantling the Stigma

Those suffering with mental illness are not the only ones in the dark. Some people think of suicide as “the ultimate selfish act” and wonder “how could they do that to their family and friends?” These judgements are often based on misconceptions. Most who die by suicide do not want to end their life; they want to escape their pain. Suicide is not a rational decision; it is one made under extreme duress.

A person trapped in a burning building might reasonably make the decision to jump out of the window rather than suffer the pain and anguish of being burned by the fire. A person jumping off a bridge to end their life is trying to escape pain that is very real, just like the pain of burning to death. The instinct to escape mental suffering can be as powerful as the instinct to escape physical pain. BTH is trying to break down social barriers to recovery by addressing misconceptions and normalizing the conversation about mental health.

Mental health is a public health issue requiring the help of the entire community. We have lifeguards and life preservers to mitigate the risks of swimming, the Heimlich maneuver to prevent choking and defibrillators in the case of cardiac arrest. Public controls are placed in countless situations to manage health risks. The BTH system of Recognizing and Referring is something everyone can help implement. The community should not underestimate how important they are.

Are you OK? Is something wrong? Can I help you? Those were the words I desperately wanted to hear.” – Kevin Hines, Suicide The Ripple Effect

The Art of Mental Wellness

We can’t stop thoughts from coming into our heads, but we can cultivate an awareness of them. Just because a thought is in your head does not mean it’s true. Skills can be taught so thoughts can be assessed and managed. For someone struggling with a mental illness like depression, thoughts of self-criticism and self-doubt can grow to become powerful and even debilitating. Thoughts like: “everything I do is wrong”, “nobody likes me”, “everyone I love would be better off without me”, “I have nothing to give”, “I am not able to live up to what everyone needs from me” and “I am a failure.”

Living with these ruminating thoughts is frightening and painful.

Unable to control and manage overwhelming negative thoughts, and not understanding what is happening in your head, can lead to a feeling of being trapped. Panic can ensue and bring with it impulses to escape the epic amount of mental and emotional suffering that the negative thoughts create.

The shame of what is secretly happening inside one’s mind prevents resolution and the thoughts continue to spiral. “I felt unable to function. I was being crippled by my struggle as the pain got louder and louder. It might have looked like I was ok on the outside, but the amount of work it took to maintain this false appearance was not sustainable,” recalls one survivor of depression.

The shame that prevents one from reaching out for help is a huge barrier to treatment. The person suffers internally in silence as their condition worsens and signs are missed.

Those who could help don’t know how to read the signs indicating there is an issue, and if they do sense there is something going on they don’t know how to react. If the person continues to suffer in silence, they are unlikely to get better. Depending on the sufferer’s resilience and stress factors, the bubble can ultimately break.

Please remember to be kind. You never know what someone else is going through. Jolina Halloran.

Mental health struggles are managed best when openly discussed. “There is a false belief that talking about suicide will escalate the idea. However, the opposite is, in fact, the case. An adolescent or young adult who is spiraling downward benefits immensely from simply talking about their thoughts”, says Dr. Gayle Augenbaum, a child and adolescent psychiatry specialist who practices in Armonk. BTH gives people a safe and accessible place for these conversations to take place. These simple conversations can deter unhealthy choices such as self-medicating with drugs and alcohol or worse.

Ultimately the BTH Foundation encourages people to be involved in their own self-care. “If you want to beat this mental illness problem, you have to be involved in the process. Everyone can help and we need a network and a community of support, but it is also necessary to take effort in and be proactive in your own self-care,” advises Halloran. Just as an individual with asthma pays extra attention to their breath, and a person with a food allergy has a heightened awareness of what they eat; similarly, a person who suffers from “brain pain” can become aware of the thoughts that enter their minds and learn how to manage them.

You don’t necessarily beat depression once and then it is gone. It is often something you live with throughout your life. When a person who suffers from depression is well, they can learn to practice preventative measures to maintain and manage their mental health. Mental illnesses like depression can break down one’s resilience over time and can turn thoughts into irrational behavior. But the key is “over time”; that’s where the opportunity lies, between the light and the darkness.

How Mindfulness Can Help

The principles behind mindfulness are the basis for much of DBT. Mindfulness concepts like self-compassion, non-judgement and gratitude can redirect thoughts from the darkness into the light. “Meditation helps bring awareness to your thoughts. You are not blocking thoughts but relating to them differently, letting them come and go and observing them. This will help in life because you will be able to recognize when thoughts are not helpful and can dismiss them instead of intensifying them which can lead to sadness or anxiety,” says Jodi Baretz, a holistic based therapist from the Center for Health and Healing in Mt. Kisco.

There are other methods to proactively keep one’s mental health in shape. Exercise can help in many ways including shifting one’s focus from the mind to the body. Getting enough sleep can play a big role as well.

The Next Generation

There is concern that the next generation is especially at risk of depression. Technology fosters social isolation; the omnipresent screens that children and teens are growing up with are barriers to human interaction. Mental illness breeds on social isolation; humans are meant to be in groups and care about one another.

While it is extraordinarily difficult for an adult to manage a mental illness, it is even more difficult for a child or adolescent. “Kids and teenagers don’t have the right words to name their emotions and their frontal lobes are not finished developing. Therefore, they are more impulsive and more reactive and tend to be more rigid with whatever they are feeling, not recognizing that there is hope for change.” Says Augenbaum. Teens don’t have the ability yet to understand that situations aren’t permanent. This is a learned lesson that takes time and life experience they don’t yet have. And so, the risk factors continue to pile up.

Walking into the Light

The Hallorans have suffered the unimaginable in losing their son Brian. But with the work of the BTH Foundation, steps have been taken towards compassion and understanding and away from judgement and misconception. Every time a teen who has gone down the road of darkness is given the tools to recover, Brian is there. With Brian’s light leading the way, steps are being taken in the right direction. This past June, the community showed their support by participating in the BTH Foundation’s second suicide awareness walk. The steps they took communicated a clear message to those suffering from mental illness: you are not alone in this fight; we will walk into the light with you. For more information, please visit:  www.bthbreakthehold.org

 

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline:

800-273-TALK (8255) or Text “TALK” to 741-741

A Bit About Brian

Brian was a beloved son, brother and friend. He was well-liked, smart and athletic. He was friendly and had a lot of empathy for others. His parents knew he was a good person but “didn’t realize how kind he was”.  After he passed away, friends and acquaintances contacted his parents and told them that if Brian saw someone who seemed sad he would not hesitate to reach out to them.

Brian appeared to most to be a typical teenager, but underneath his strong exterior he was suffering from depression. Depression can come and go. It can appear to be managed but then come back. Though Brian had been doing well, still the day came in January 2018 when his parents got a knock on their door. Brian had died by suicide while away at school in South Carolina. Before Brian died he reached out to several people but was not able to connect with anyone.

 

Filed Under: Pleasantville Cover Stories Tagged With: Break the Hold, Conversation, depression, emotions, Light, Mindfulness, struggles, suicide, triage, Youth Mental Health

Pleasantville Chamber of Commerce: Linking Community to Businesses

August 24, 2019 by Madeline Rosenberg

Colorful awnings, decorative displays and windows adorned with local flyers: These are the storefronts that line downtown Pleasantville. Businesses spanning from gift shops to restaurants offer the village a variety of local options, many stores of which belong to the town’s business network, the Pleasantville Chamber of Commerce.

The chamber supports and promotes its 154 members who comprise an estimated 70 percent of the village’s businesses, according to Chamber President Bill Flooks. Information on the chamber’s website and social media pages, as well as its annual events and award ceremonies, helps make community members aware of what Pleasantville offers.

“We try to link the community with the businesses,” Flooks said. “That’s our goal, because that’s what you need for a successful business.”

On October 23, the chamber will honor businesses and service groups for their contributions to the village at the annual Chamber Appreciation Awards. Members also gather each April for the Business Person of the Year Event, a ceremony that celebrates the person who “consistently demonstrates business excellence, vision, innovation, leadership and community spirit,” according to their website. In addition to these events, the chamber holds six member meetings a year, which serve as “meet and greet” opportunities for local business owners and a way to communicate updates on community projects.

As apartments materialize on Washington Avenue and Memorial Plaza, the people who populate them will further the chamber’s goal of supporting local businesses, Flooks explained. The more people in the area, the more foot traffic.

“We’re trying to make Pleasantville a destination for people to come,” he said. “As we continue to grow, with what’s going on in the village, we will approach more businesses. And, hopefully more businesses will get involved when they realize that we can help promote them.”

Filed Under: Pleasantville Cover Stories Tagged With: Business, community, Downtown Pleasantville, Pleasantville Chamber of Commerce

Cook is Her Name, the FoodieBus is Her Game

August 24, 2019 by Shauna Levy

Each morning climbing aboard her Ossining school bus, Jennifer Cook was playfully greeted with the question, “Hey Cook, what’s for dinner?” Years later, she’s still riding a school bus and still being asked what’s for dinner, but now she has an answer. Cook recently launched the FoodieBus, Inc., a farm-to-table culinary mobile experience that offers private, customized meals on a school bus, affectionately known as Loretta in honor of a “wonderful” benefactor, that’s been transformed into a restaurant. The concept is as fresh and original as the fare being served.

The Magic Properties of Food

Cook’s diverse resume boasts roles as owner of Chappaqua Wellness Center, volunteer firefighter with the New Castle Fire Department and private chef on movie sets for the likes of De Niro, Pacino and Pesci. Though seemingly unrelated, these experiences were cumulatively instrumental in inspiring the FoodieBus. Cook explains, “As a chef on movie sets, I catered to a wide range of palates from my food truck. I loved it and opened a wood fired brick oven pizza truck, which I made use of as a firefighter. When the Rockaways were devastated by Hurricane Sandy, I showed up with the pizza truck. By simply serving pizza, this community got the sense that they weren’t alone. I had an epiphany that food is magical. We all must eat and it’s therefore one of the true connectors we share. I’ve always strived to help others and wanted to foster this connection in a bigger, deeper and more meaningful scale.”

A Bespoke Dining Experience

To make this concept a reality, Cook had a very specific list of criteria. “I needed a dining area that functioned as a beautiful gathering space as well as a kitchen, storage space and bathroom,” she says, elaborating, “And, I’ve always had a thing for barns and find the farm-to-table movement so special, so I incorporated those elements as well.” Ultimately, Cook checked each of those boxes by making a few modifications to Loretta, a school bus she located in Wisconsin. Not only did she gut the bus, but she painted it mint green and removed its sides and roof, atop which she built a barn structure. The result is a dining experience that is anything but status quo. As she says, “The opportunities are endless. I’ve scoured Westchester and identified a host of idyllic locations. We can offer any type of food in any setting from Mexican on a beautiful lake to vegan on Fable farm to wine and cheese at the Rose Garden at Lyndhurst to dumplings in your own backyard. We host groups of friends as well as events meant to connect people who’ve never met in addition to offering culinary classes. It’s really been very exciting.”

The HELP Bus True to Cook’s passion for improving lives, the FoodieBus

transforms into a nonprofit, the HELP (Healing, Educating, Liberating People) Bus through a partnership with Feeding Westchester, an organization with the mission of ending hunger in Westchester County. Recipients waiting for Feeding Westchester’s food resources can queue for up to three hours. The HELP Bus is seizing this time as an opportunity to provide education in culinary and farming skills. Explaining her nonprofit’s mission, Cook says, “We’ll bring the bus to distribution points and offer demos and suggestions. Oftentimes, families are stretching these groceries for up to two weeks and we want to help them achieve that in a healthy way. We are also teaching culinary skills that can be leveraged so that people can have a background in handling food, empowering them to get work–there’s over 500 different culinary employment opportunities out there.”
As Cook provides culinary education, she is also gaining valuable lessons. She shares, “I’ll never complain waiting on line at a grocery store again. This experience completely debunks any stereotype of who these people are. People within our own communities are struggling. As someone who’s had my own struggles, I think it’s so important to take the opportunity to change someone’s life if you can, even if it’s for just one moment.”

Paving a New Path

Whether it’s called the FoodieBus, the HELP Bus or just Loretta, Cook is paving her own path with a roadmap that’s of her own design. She says, “I love creating dishes that aren’t textbook by taking everyday ingredients and pairing them in odd, yet delicious combinations. But, the excitement for me is not just in creating a unique dish. It’s in bringing different people with different passions and lifestyles together in peace and happiness at the table over food.” As Cook goes on, peppering the dialogue with phrases like sous-vide, portobello carpaccio, lemon-infused olive oil and microgreens, it’s clear that there will be no shortage of patrons eager to take a seat at her table.

Filed Under: Pleasantville Cover Stories Tagged With: Chappaqua Wellness Center, fare, Foodie Bus, FoodieBus, Jennifer Cook, New Castle Fire Department, Pizza Truch, Wopd fired

It’s Only Rock N’ Roll… and these Parents LOVE it!

August 24, 2019 by Miriam Longobardi

Music is an outlet which provides a release for many people, but these local parents take it to a new level.

They are all over the County, and sometimes travelling beyond, all while working and raising kids. Whether a lifelong musician or just starting now, no matter how busy you think you are, you too could be on stage!

Adult Learners

Red Grenadine

Jenn Filardi and Jason Haberman of local band Red Grenadine just began taking guitar lessons as adults. Filardi, a stay-at-home mom since leaving a busy career in advertising to raise her children, studied at the Mike Risko Music School in Ossining. The upshot? At age 41, Filardi was performing vocals and playing electric rhythm guitar. The band rehearses once a week for about two hours, sometimes longer right before a gig.

The couple also took part in an adult music workshop and were able to stretch their abilities by working with musicians with varied skill sets. Over time their band evolved, some of the players changed, but since 2017, Red Grenadine plays in many local county venues. You can catch them at popular clubs/pubs like Lucy’s in Pleasantville or Garcia’s in Port Chester.

They are not a typical cover band that plays songs to sound exactly as they do on the radio; rather, they play different versions of classic rock songs and R&B, often versions covered by other artists. Sometimes the key is changed, or it has a funkier vibe, so it is very recognizable but not what people may expect.

“People are very pleasantly surprised a lot of the time,” Haberman shared.

They tend to select songs that feature different solo parts for the other members of the band to showcase their talents, such as Larry Yavner (drums), Rob Guglielmo (keyboard), Mike Bisceglia (lead guitar), Danny Golub (bass). Golub is a teacher with Music in Chappaqua. Occasionally they add horns by collaborating with the Horn Dogs.

On September 21st, they will be performing in the Battle of the Bands at the Chappaqua Performing Arts Center.  Follow Red Grenadine on Facebook and Instagram for more information.

 

 

Filed Under: Pleasantville Cover Stories Tagged With: Bands, Battle of the Bands, Local Music, music scene, musicians, rock and roll

Conquering 26.2: Three Local Runners to Watch on Marathon Sunday

August 24, 2019 by Robin Chwatko

On November 3, 50,000 runners will hit the streets for the 49th NYC Marathon.

Here are a few local runners to root for.

STEVE CHAPMAN, 43, Armonk

Occupation:  Accountant

Marathons completed: 2

Breakfast of champions: Race day is always a bagel with peanut butter

Favorite local running route: North County Trailway

Exercise schedule: I’m also a triathlete, so I’m training every day in some way, shape, or form!

Inspiration for running:  I’m running to raise money and awareness for Project Purple/ pancreatic cancer research in honor of my mother in law

Can’t run without:  Bose SoundSport wireless headphones

Playlist:  First half: happy, uplifting, and easy-going – I always start out with Here I Go Again (yes, I’m dating myself) and Save it For a Rainy Day by Kenny Chesney.  Second half: heavier into rock, which keeps me going as the miles add up

Hardest mile:  Mile 22 – the false flat, up 5th Avenue is just brutal.

Easiest mile:  Mile 16 –the bottom of the 59th Street bridge -the adrenaline that comes with the crowd off the bridge is indescribable

Goal time:  3:59:59 –anything under that 4-hour threshold.

Favorite post marathon meal: I’m not hungry right away, but then definitely carbs – pasta, bread, can’t get enough!

“Just about anyone can run a marathon.  It’s easy to get scared of the distance – add your miles slowly, and don’t be afraid to run slow.  Your fellow runners, volunteers, and fans in NYC will get you through the day. The camaraderie and friendships that I’ve experienced through running and training are amazing.”


CHRIS DESSI, 44, Chappaqua

Occupation: VP of Sales

Breakfast of champions: Fruit

Marathons completed: I ran the marathon in 2012, when Sandy hit, and the marathon was cancelled. I ran it by myself throughout Chap-paqua and Pleasantville. I finished on the track at Pleasantville High School to the cheers of family, friends and a soccer game that was going on!

Favorite local running route: Chappaqua into Pleasantville via Washington Avenue, and throughout Pleasantville (sidewalks are great, and so is the track at the high school).

Exercise schedule: CrossFit Mount Kisco 5 days/week – I run after that class during the week. It’s exactly one mile from CrossFit Mount Kisco to the Saw Mill Club. So you’ll see me just pinging back and forth to get in my miles.

Inspiration for running: My father. I am raising money for the ALS Association. The disease killed my father in 2015.

Can’t run without: Apple Watch/MapMyRun app.

Playlist: Nothing at all. I do my deep thinking while running. It’s rare to be left alone to your thoughts, and I find it highly meditative and centering.

Hardest mile: 18 – my legs were cramping and my motivation was waning. A nice stranger asked if he could run with me, and I don’t think I could have done it without him. In an odd twist, I ran into him last week – we hadn’t seen each other since 2012!

Easiest mile: The last one!

Goal time: I just want to finish!

Post-marathon meal: Is scotch a meal? The first sip after the marathon was delicious.

“Marathons are 90% mental – if you can run one mile, you can run 26.2. My Father’s last words to me were “keep up the good work.” His words have been a powerful reminder for me to encour-age, love and support those around me. I will very much miss having Dad at the finish line.”


JACQUI MERRITTS, 50, Pleasantville

Occupation: Mom of 4

Marathons completed: 13

Breakfast of Champions: Oatmeal with almond milk, cinnamon and raisins

Favorite local running routes: FDR park and Tibbets Park in Yonkers for long runs. Short runs are mainly run around Pleasantville or on the North County Trailway

Exercise schedule: Spin, boot camp and strength classes, various cardio machines at Lifetime Fitness

Can’t run without: Garmin Vivoactive 3

Playlist: Anything with a good beat that keeps me on pace,  from Justin Bieber to The Bee Gees!

Hardest mile: 1st mile

Easiest mile: Last mile

Goal time: Anything faster than my previous time!

Post marathon meal: Sushi

“As Nike says, Just Do It! At the age of 41 with four kids and with no running experience I never dreamed I could run a marathon but here I am 10 years later with many marathons under my belt.  Anything is possible if you put your mind to it!”

Filed Under: Pleasantville Cover Stories Tagged With: exercise, Local runners, Marathon Runners, Marathon Sunday, Mile

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