• Skip to primary navigation
  • Skip to main content
  • Skip to primary sidebar
  • Skip to footer

The Inside Press

Magazines serving the communities of Northern Westchester

  • Home
  • Advertise
    • Advertise in One or All of our Magazines
    • Advertising Payment Form
  • Print Subscription
  • Digital Subscription
    • Subscribe
    • Subscriber Login
  • Contact Us

The Care and Feeding of a Chappaqua Dad

May 27, 2014 by The Inside Press

dad-w-tieBy Ian Karr

This June, in honor of Father’s Day, I’m going to break the Guy Code and reveal the Simple Things at the top of every Dad’s wish list. They also happen to be the secrets to keeping men happy and attentive forever. I know these are lofty claims, but we men are very simple creatures with even simpler needs.

It’s no surprise that men don’t “get” 50 Shades of Gray and women don’t “get” The Three Stooges. We’re hard-wired differently. Ironically, guys are about as complex as the Stooges. To us, life is about our family, friends, work…and trying not to get poked in the eye.

Whether we identify with Moe, Larry, or Curly, there are several Simple Things that seem to hold true for most men. Admittedly, I’m the farthest thing from a psychologist. But I did start Chappaqua Dads on Facebook. And I’ve been male my whole life. So please take a leap of faith and accept my authority on these Things. Or at least ask your guy if they ring true.

Simple Thing Number One:

We want a sanctuary. It’s extremely important to guys that the place we call home stands in stark contrast to the crazy world outside. Remember, only a few thousand years have passed since we were cavemen. That’s barely enough time on an evolutionary scale to grow an eyelash. We may carry iPhones today, but we still crave that cave; a safe, peaceful place to eat and sleep without fear of attack.

Simple Thing Number Two:

We need physical contact on a semi-regular basis. Big DUH, right? But it’s not just about the act. For us, sex is a mix of intimacy, pleasure, pursuit, success, and a hundred other things that make us feel like men. It’s deeply rooted in our sense of self. We certainly don’t expect our partners to be “in the mood” all the time, but the way we’re turned down matters.

Simple Thing Number Three:

We like cheerleaders. Okay, maybe corner-man is a better metaphor. Guys often see the world as a boxing ring. Our days are filled with bouts large and small. When the bell rings and we come home to our neutral corner (see sanctuary above), there’s nothing better than having someone there to put ice on our bruises, cheer us on, and make us want to go back in and fight another round.

It’s important to point out that these Simple Things have nothing to do with who works, who takes care of the kids, or who has to walk the dog at midnight. They are simply the keys to keeping men, as a species, happy. Use them at your own risk.

There’s one more Thing, but it’s about men and women equally.

The noted philosopher Martin Buber had a theory that all human interactions, whether with your mailman or your spouse, have a virtual life of their own. Buber termed these interactions “Spiritual Children.” Just like a real child, your “Spiritual” one can grow up sick or healthy, be a success or a failure, or hit you up for a hundred bucks and the car keys. The fourth Simple Thing is about taking care of the most important Spiritual Child: your relationship.

Simple Thing Number Four:

Your relationship comes first. Yes, before children. Before work. Before everything. The theory is that if you put your relationship first, you’re more likely to have a stable and loving foundation for being a better parent, a more productive worker, and a happier person. Take that vacation without the kids. Your family will be better for it.

That’s about it. If you already knew how simple we are, great! If you didn’t, you now have the power to give the best Father’s Day gift(s) ever. Or, you could just get us another necktie.

Guys, please forgive me. I know this information could be used to turn us into happy zombies, but I thought it was worth the risk.

Ian Karr graduated Tulane University with a degree in Sociology and is happy to have finally used it for something. Otherwise, he tries not to embarrass his wife Lauren and his kids, Jayden and Gregory. Sometimes he succeeds.

 

Filed Under: Cover Stories Tagged With: Dads, Father's Day

Primary Sidebar

Recent Posts

  • Four Winters Shines a Light on the Bravery of World War II Survivors Among the 25,000 Jewish Partisans
  • $86K State Grant Awarded to 2023 Phoenix Festival Signals Growing Focus on Tourism
  • Scarsdale Music Festival Gearing Up for a June 3rd Event: Sponsorships, Performers and Vendors Sought
  • Governor Hochul Urges: SHOP SMALL to Help Small Businesses Which Make Up 98% of New York State’s Economy
  • Chappaqua’s Always Magical HOLIDAY STROLL on December 3rd: Ice Sculpting, Tree Lighting, Horace Greeley Encords… and More!
  • Harvest Moon Farm Presents a Longer, More Spectacular LUMAGICA Holiday Light Experience this year

Please Visit

White Plains Hospital
Boys & Girls Club
Compass: Goldman and Herman
Compass: Generic
Desires by Mikolay
William Raveis – Chappaqua
William Raveis – Armonk
Dodd’s Wine Shop
Houlihan Lawrence – Armonk
Houlihan Lawrence – Chappaqua
Lumagica Enchanged Forest
Compass: Miller-Goldenberg Team
Compass: Natalia Wixom
Eye Designs of Armonk
Stacee Massoni
Club Fit
Beecher Flooks Funeral Home
World Cup Gymnastics
Raveis: Sena Baron
Play Nice Together
Houlihan Lawrence: Harriet Libov
Houlihan: Danielle Orellana
Houlihan Lawrence – Rusminka Rose Jakaj
Wags & Whiskers Dog Grooming
Breathe Pilates and Yoga

Follow our Social Media

The Inside Press

Our Latest Issues

For a full reading of our current edition, or to obtain a copy or subscription, please contact us.

Inside Chappaqua Inside Armonk Inside Pleasantville

Join Our Mailing List


Search Inside Press

Links

  • Advertise
  • Contact Us
  • Digital Subscription
  • Print Subscription

Footer

Support The Inside Press

Advertising

Print Subscription

Digital Subscription

Categories

Archives

Subscribe

Did you know you can subscribe anytime to our print editions?

Voluntary subscriptions are most welcome, if you've moved outside the area, or a subscription is a great present idea for an elderly parent, for a neighbor who is moving or for your graduating high school student or any college student who may enjoy keeping up with hometown stories.

Subscribe Today

Copyright © 2023 The Inside Press, Inc. · Log in