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Marlene Fischer

Back-to-School Advice from a Parent with Three Decades of Experience

August 16, 2024 by Marlene Kern Fischer

Full disclosure – I have no one going back to school this year; none of my sons nor any of their significant others. Not nursery school, K-12, college, or graduate school. I will only know when school is back in session when I see yellow busses around town.

However, having done back-to-school for three decades, I do have a few things to say.

I clearly remember starting each school year with a mixture of dread and excitement. Dread because I never knew what the next ten months would bring. Would my children like their teachers? Would they do their homework? Would I survive all the projects, activities, carpooling, etc.? I have three sons, each five years apart, and I was always all over the map. Different schools, different activities – I needed a flow chart to keep it all straight.

With my older sons, there was no portal, no online anything. When they weren’t doing well, I found out the old-fashioned way – a phone call or email from their teacher. And there were plenty of those.

But despite the bumps in the road, I also found the school year a little magical. Seeing my sons’ excitement when they learned something new. Attending their concerts and marveling how much better they got year to year. Discovering which subjects they were drawn to. Middle son loved history so much he majored in it in college. I had to force my youngest son to do his reading logs… not surprising that he chose math as his college major.

I always thought there needed to be a better way to ease into the school year – after a relaxing summer, the first few weeks of the new year always felt jolting. Like jumping into an icy pool. The forms that needed to be signed, the supplies that had to be procured, the assignments that came fast and furious. But perhaps jumping in is better than dipping a toe – there’s no time to contemplate what’s ahead.

In any event, I recall that soon enough, we all got in the groove. By the time I attended back-to-school night, the lazy days of summer were a distant memory.

Each year was its own separate experience. Sometimes I knew what might be ahead based on first or second-hand knowledge of the teachers. But even that wasn’t a guarantee of success or failure. The middle school science teacher who had made my oldest son’s life a living hell (and in turn mine) didn’t even seem to notice my youngest son when she had him ten years later – he tended to fly under the radar in school. I also told him never to mention his oldest brother and, if it came up, deny that they were even related.

I think if I had one piece of advice to give younger parents whose kids are starting the school year it would be, “Be prepared for the unexpected. And keep your sense of humor about all of it.” I guess that’s two pieces of advice. You especially might need that second recommendation when you find yourself helping your child with a huge assignment they haven’t started that’s due the next day.

For anyone who is thinking, “My child would never not do an assignment” – when it comes to kids, never say never. And for those who are saying, “I would make them do it themselves or accept the consequences of not doing it,” please don’t judge me. Every parent needs to figure out how best to survive the school year. Yes, I may have enabled my sons, but they all made it through. And more importantly, I did too.

My wish for you all is a successful 2024-25 school year with as little stress as possible. And I will think of you when I see the yellow busses go by.

Happy Back-to-School!

Filed Under: Inside Thoughts Tagged With: Back to School, Byram Hills School District, Marlene Fischer, School Advice, Thoughts from Aisle Four

Getting to Know Marlene Fischer: Cherished Blogger, Now Celebrated Author

November 13, 2020 by Ella Ilan

The Wedding of Danielle and Eric

Armonk resident Marlene Fischer holds many titles. Besides being a mom, wife, lifelong writer, blogger, and a college essay editor, she jokingly adds “food shopper” and “stain removalist” to her list of roles. Raising three boys, it often seemed like food shopping and laundry were her main gigs. Book author, however, is Fischer’s newest title.

Never imagining that she would one day write a book, Fischer just successfully self-published her first book, Gained a Daughter But Nearly Lost My Mind: How I Planned a Backyard Wedding During A Pandemic. (Editor’s Note: Order on the net or inquire at your favorite local bookstore or gift store for availability.)

A new empty nester, with her youngest son away for his freshman year at college last year, Fischer was just acclimating to her new life and blogging about it when the pandemic began. She suddenly found herself with her husband working from home and the two of them sharing a very full house with all three sons and her oldest son’s fiancée at the start of the pandemic.

Navigating meals, everyone’s needs, a never-ending mess, and the challenges of a pandemic became the subject of Fischer’s hilarious and poignant musings on her Facebook page blog, which currently boasts about 12,000 followers.

The title of her Facebook page, “Thoughts From Aisle 4,” was suggested by her oldest son, and derived from her voicemail message on her phone for many years; “Sorry I missed your call. I’m probably in Aisle 4 at the grocery store. I will call you when I’m done.”

“A Source of Light”

Inspired by Erma Bombeck’s irreverent writing, Fischer is relatable and humorous. In addition to posting on topics such as handbag shopping, aging, politics, and random observations about life, many of her posts relay stories about the frustrations and joys of raising her three boys. For younger moms, it brings hope to see that no matter your worries, they all turn out just fine, just like Fischer’s bright young responsible sons. Judging by her followers’ comments, the page has been a source of light, humor and silver linings throughout many months of quarantine. It was easy for readers to feel emotionally invested in Fischer’s excitement over her oldest son’s impending nuptials and the trials and tribulations of planning a wedding during a pandemic. Many could relate to Fischer’s excitement over her relationship with her new daughter-in-law with stories such as being invited by the bride to help choose a wedding dress. Fischer believes the wedding planning was so captivating to her followers because “it was a good distraction for everybody” during the anxiety-ridden quarantine period.

Realizing that the couple’s planned wedding, a large fancy event originally planned in Washington D.C., the bride’s hometown, was no longer possible due to Covid, they decided to get married on their intended wedding date in the Fischer’s backyard with only close family members attending. “My goal was to make it so amazing that they wouldn’t want another wedding,” explains Fischer.

Fischer describes the backyard as having looked magical between the tiki torches, the tables, and the landscaping and plantings that Fischer’s husband had painstakingly tended to for weeks. The family incorporated beautiful and meaningful Jewish traditions throughout the wedding.

The wedding was an Armonk celebration in every way. There was a drive-by parade of local friends and neighbors and it felt like everyone in town was rooting for them to have a great day. Fischer was glad to be able to support local small businesses struggling through the pandemic by patronizing the town’s retailers for the food, attire, and décor.

The ceremony was officiated by Rabbi Joshua Strom of Congregation B’nai Yisrael in Armonk who actually met the bride and groom at a Phish concert in Mexico. The couple’s shared bond with the Rabbi over Phish aligned perfectly with their wedding logo incorporating the Phish logo, Phish shirts for the guests, the bride and groom dancing their first dance on a trampoline to a Phish song, and everyone dancing the night away to a Phish cover band, Uncle Ebenezer.

Still glowing from the wedding, Fischer decided this story had to be a book. Rewriting her blogs and adding material to create a more cohesive story, she successfully wrote her first book, a labor of love, with the help of her long-time best friend and editor Helene Wingens.

The Wedding of Danielle and Eric

A Family Affair

Fischer credits her husband for always being supportive. “I call my husband Mr. Aisle 4 and he often proofs my stuff. It’s really a family affair. One of my boys likes to criticize while the other two like and share everything. We all have our different roles.”

In the meantime, Fischer has held several book signings in town at some of her frequent hangouts including outside the local market. A book signing inside Aisle 4 of the market was not possible due to Covid.

Excerpt from Gained a Daughter but Nearly Lost My Mind: How I Planned a Backyard Wedding During A Pandemic, by Marlene Fischer

“The Battle Royale”

We had a battle going on at my house. More specifically, outside my house. It was my husband vs. the woodland creatures.

My husband had wisely left all the wedding details to me, save one; the garden. He decided to use this opportunity to beautify our yard in advance of the kids’ BIG DAY.

He bought flowers and planted them in the front beds. And the back beds, amongst the rocks. And it was good. But it wasn’t good enough. So, I went with him to the nursery and bought more flowers to keep the other flowers company. I was happy to go because it wasn’t like I was getting out much.

And then he planted those flowers as well. Since our yard backs on the woods, creatures like deer and chipmunks like to nibble on our flowers. To combat this danger, he bought deer repellant. Which sort of smells like a combination of urine and vomit.

Every few days my husband, bless his heart, went outside and sprayed all the flowers. And then we all headed inside and closed all the windows because it smelled that bad. Good luck to any animal who wanted to eat our flowers after my husband had sprayed; all I can say is that they would have had to be really hungry.

Then my husband went back to the nursery a third time and purchased bushes. And he hired people to plant all those bushes because it was too big of a project for him to tackle alone.

He also planted his annual vegetable and herb garden and put a higher fence around it to keep chipmunks and rabbits from enjoying our basil and lettuce. I do enjoy the produce we pick from the garden; we’ve got a real farm to table thing going on. Nothing tastes better to my husband than food he grew with his own hands.

Did I mention the tiki torches? My husband felt we needed tiki torches to keep the bugs away. We were now the proud owners of about twenty tiki torches which he strategically placed around our backyard. He refilled the torches regularly and ordered extra fluid just in case we ran out.

I have to give him credit where credit is due. He transformed our backyard into a tropical paradise. I sort of felt like I was in Hawaii except then I remembered I was in my backyard during a pandemic and not Hawaii.

I really hoped that he would win his war against nature. Because if he didn’t, I feared it would break him.

Filed Under: Cover Stories Tagged With: author, Blogger, book, Marlene Fischer, wedding

A Day in My Life of Shopping Locally–in June

June 5, 2018 by Inside Press

Shop Local enthusiast and blogger, Marlene Fischer

I know I am not alone when I say this Spring has been crazy busy. (Yes, I realize I say the same thing every year but it’s true!) During this hectic time of year I am grateful that I can get almost everything I need done right here in Armonk.

I start my errands with a trip to Framings on Main Street. Most of what hangs on the walls of my house has been framed by the talented, friendly and patient staff at Framings. While I don’t have much (or, actually, any) fine art, the folks there treat each item I bring in as if it’s a Renoir. I have framed my children’s artwork, family photos, certificates (like the one my youngest son received at Disney World that declares him a Jedi in training) and even a few of my favorite blog pieces. This time around I am proudly bearing my middle son’s diploma; he has just graduated college and I am happy to take advantage of the 20.18 percent discount Framings is offering on all diplomas. It doesn’t matter if your child just graduated from nursery school or received their  degree in neurosurgery, the discount will still apply!

Next, I pop in to Manny’s with my youngest son, who is in desperate need of a haircut. My husband and three sons have been getting their hair cut at Manny’s for 20 years; we even have video of my youngest looking somewhat alarmed as he gets his very first haircut there nearly 16 years ago (and I still have a lock of his hair from that day). From their early haircuts when they needed booster seats to their summer pre-camp buzz cuts to their bar-mitzvah cuts to their very important job interview haircuts, the team at Manny’s has been there for us. Hairstyles may change but our choice of barber shop will remain the same. My boys always get a kiss from me after their haircuts (because they look so handsome) and I never leave without getting a Tootsie Pop or large gumball.

I walk to DeCicco & Sons where I have been grocery shopping almost daily since it opened. Not to brag or anything, but I feel like a celebrity when I’m there (although I’m guessing that’s how they make everyone feel). I love shopping at DeCicco because the produce is exceptionally fresh, their fish is delivered daily, and they have one of the best gourmet cheese selections I’ve ever seen. Summer is the perfect time to choose from their extensive assortment of beers; if you have any questions, the knowledge staff is more than happy to help. DeCicco may not be the biggest grocery store, however, I am always amazed at how I can pretty much get everything I need there (I was even able to buy a graduation card). And if they don’t have something on my list, they are happy to get it for me. If you see me there, please say hello!

Since the weather has finally warmed up after the endless winter, I drive over to Beascakes Bakery for an iced tea lemonade and to order a platter of themed cookies for a weekend barbeque we will be attending. Last time I brought cookies from Beascakes, our friends called them crack because they couldn’t stop eating them; they were that good. And in case you were wondering, people prefer the white half of black and white cookies. End of the year parties? Father’s Day (which don’t forget is Sunday June 17)? Graduation or birthday celebrations? A wedding? Camp Visiting Day? College send off? Whatever the occasion, Beascakes has you covered with their custom cupcakes, cakes, fruit pies and donuts, as well as their Best of Westchester award-winning chocolate chip cookies. If you can imagine it, they can bake and decorate it.

My husband mentions he’s able to get out of work a little early and, since I don’t feel like cooking, I get spruced up (which is no small feat on a weeknight) and meet him at Gavi Restaurant. We have been regulars there for decades; the warm staff always makes us feel welcome. Our oldest son still requests we go there when he’s home for a visit. Although we eat there year round, I love Gavi even more in the summer. The outdoor patio is perfect for having a glass of wine and enjoying the weather; I actually feel as if we are away when we dine al fresco at Gavi. The spinach salad, pasta dishes and fish are among my favorite things to order, although I can also be tempted by the delicious specials  When we bring our whole family, dinner always ends with coffee or tea and the world’s best tartufo.

Wishing you all a fantastic summer; I hope it brings you fun, adventure and a sense of renewal. See you back here in the Fall when I will continue to shop locally!

Filed Under: Lifestyles with our Sponsors Tagged With: A Day in the Life, Armonk, Black and White Cookies, Celebrity, DeCicco & Sons, Father's Day, Framings, Gavi Restaurant, graduation, grocery store, June, Luxe, Manny's Unisex Haircutting, Marlene Fischer, North Castle, outdoor patio, Shop Local, Shopping Locally

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