The Inside Press

Magazines serving the communities of Northern Westchester

Dads

Dads, Grads & the Arts

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As I write this column, it is pouring outside and the temperature is hovering at 60 degrees. It’s hard to believe that in ten days Memorial Day weekend will be here and the unofficial start of summer. As anyone in this part of Northern Westchester can attest, it has been a long, hard winter. And that’s why we wanted to celebrate summer (and dads and grads!) with our June issue.

We are fortunate enough to live in an area that is chock full of fun and culture during the summer. Fancy hearing the latest indie bands? Grab a spot at the Pleasantville Music Festival. Is chamber music more your thing? Head on over to nearby picturesque Caramoor. Want to see young thespians sing their hearts out? Take the kids and go see Annie at the Armonk Library.

For me, a backyard BBQ truly epitomizes summer and the best of living in the suburbs. Come Memorial Day weekend, I’m itching to get the grill going and I’ll be sure to visit many of the local farmers markets to pick up a few things–corn waiting to be slathered with butter, fresh fruit pies bursting with flavor and seafood that I’ll cook on my cedar plank. There’s a bounty of options for farmers market fans in our towns and nearby and I love taking the family there on a Saturday morning–our dog included! Not only do they offer an opportunity to connect with local farmers and purveyors but also provide a great way to socialize with your neighbors.

Speaking of neighbors, we wanted to highlight two dads in our community: John Berman, CNN anchorman of “New Day” and an Armonk resident who is always seeking the truth in his role as a journalist, and Ben Lieberman, a distracted driving awareness advocate who was recently honored with the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration’s Lifesavers Award for Public Service and a Chappaqua dad. They both give back to their communities in numerous ways and serve as role models. Happy Father’s Day to John, Ben and all the dads out there who give 110% of themselves everyday.

We also wanted to wish a congratulations to all the recent or soon-to-be grads out there. So whatever you are celebrating this month–dads, grads or the start of summer, here’s to enjoying every minute of it with your loved ones. Happy summer and see you in September.

Enjoy,

The Care and Feeding of a Chappaqua Dad

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dad-w-tieBy Ian Karr

This June, in honor of Father’s Day, I’m going to break the Guy Code and reveal the Simple Things at the top of every Dad’s wish list. They also happen to be the secrets to keeping men happy and attentive forever. I know these are lofty claims, but we men are very simple creatures with even simpler needs.

It’s no surprise that men don’t “get” 50 Shades of Gray and women don’t “get” The Three Stooges. We’re hard-wired differently. Ironically, guys are about as complex as the Stooges. To us, life is about our family, friends, work…and trying not to get poked in the eye.

Whether we identify with Moe, Larry, or Curly, there are several Simple Things that seem to hold true for most men. Admittedly, I’m the farthest thing from a psychologist. But I did start Chappaqua Dads on Facebook. And I’ve been male my whole life. So please take a leap of faith and accept my authority on these Things. Or at least ask your guy if they ring true.

Simple Thing Number One:

We want a sanctuary. It’s extremely important to guys that the place we call home stands in stark contrast to the crazy world outside. Remember, only a few thousand years have passed since we were cavemen. That’s barely enough time on an evolutionary scale to grow an eyelash. We may carry iPhones today, but we still crave that cave; a safe, peaceful place to eat and sleep without fear of attack.

Simple Thing Number Two:

We need physical contact on a semi-regular basis. Big DUH, right? But it’s not just about the act. For us, sex is a mix of intimacy, pleasure, pursuit, success, and a hundred other things that make us feel like men. It’s deeply rooted in our sense of self. We certainly don’t expect our partners to be “in the mood” all the time, but the way we’re turned down matters.

Simple Thing Number Three:

We like cheerleaders. Okay, maybe corner-man is a better metaphor. Guys often see the world as a boxing ring. Our days are filled with bouts large and small. When the bell rings and we come home to our neutral corner (see sanctuary above), there’s nothing better than having someone there to put ice on our bruises, cheer us on, and make us want to go back in and fight another round.

It’s important to point out that these Simple Things have nothing to do with who works, who takes care of the kids, or who has to walk the dog at midnight. They are simply the keys to keeping men, as a species, happy. Use them at your own risk.

There’s one more Thing, but it’s about men and women equally.

The noted philosopher Martin Buber had a theory that all human interactions, whether with your mailman or your spouse, have a virtual life of their own. Buber termed these interactions “Spiritual Children.” Just like a real child, your “Spiritual” one can grow up sick or healthy, be a success or a failure, or hit you up for a hundred bucks and the car keys. The fourth Simple Thing is about taking care of the most important Spiritual Child: your relationship.

Simple Thing Number Four:

Your relationship comes first. Yes, before children. Before work. Before everything. The theory is that if you put your relationship first, you’re more likely to have a stable and loving foundation for being a better parent, a more productive worker, and a happier person. Take that vacation without the kids. Your family will be better for it.

That’s about it. If you already knew how simple we are, great! If you didn’t, you now have the power to give the best Father’s Day gift(s) ever. Or, you could just get us another necktie.

Guys, please forgive me. I know this information could be used to turn us into happy zombies, but I thought it was worth the risk.

Ian Karr graduated Tulane University with a degree in Sociology and is happy to have finally used it for something. Otherwise, he tries not to embarrass his wife Lauren and his kids, Jayden and Gregory. Sometimes he succeeds.

 

Thank You to the Dads!

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This whole issue has a little “history.” I met Ian Karr, our accomplished and talented Guest Editor, after innocently approaching him for a potential article about “Chappaqua Dads,” a Facebook page he started last year. Over breakfast at Le Jardin, I was surprised to hear he was also the co-host of a popular SiriusXM radio show, Jackie’s Joke Hunt. I had attended Jackie “The Jokeman” Martling’s performance one night at The Cutting Room in NYC (thanks to a local friend’s generous invitation!), and after a private introduction, Jackie invited me to be a guest on his show.

I never followed up, but Ian was about to change all that, and I have since appeared twice, and it’s quite fun! So it’s been truly gratifying to turn the tables a bit, and invite Ian and Jackie to work with me on my own littler and hyperlocal “show”–
Inside Chappaqua!

I was also intrigued when Ian told me he had some secrets to share about the so called “guy code.” I’m delighted by his article’s basic but on target insights and suggestions. I’ll take his messages to heart (next time I’m in a relationship, that is), and ladies, advise you do likewise!

me-with-the-guys-betterIndeed, I think I’ve gleaned plenty of new understanding about guys in general from the compilation of submissions here. I’ve always enjoyed any window into “guy thinking,” and here they are writing about coaching, barbequing, commuting, joke telling, camping with their buddies, or writing a big time Hollywood screenplay! So a big THANK YOU to the dads, and a Happy Father’s Day to Ian, Jackie, Joe, Stephen, Dan, Mark and Eric for going with the flow and injecting a much needed dose of male sensibility into a local magazine that’s generally written largely by women freelance writers. Special thanks as well to Todd Shapera for his cover and inside pictures of “the guys.” Ian had thought up the concept of getting all the dads on the cover in a “Vanity Fair” style shoot, and I’m thrilled with the results.

While dads were the primary focus, we did manage to include some “teen driven” pieces in time for graduation including ones about the “Teen Zone” at the Chappaqua Library, and another about an all day summit at Westchester Medical Center formed to help solve the issue of distracted driving, and not just among teens. Also, check out an article by Greeley’s Amanda Cronin about our high school’s stellar Science Department!

Contributing editors free me up to cover stuff too, on occasion, and I jumped at the chance to attend a talk by Shark Tank celeb and real estate mogul Barbara Corcoran.

My own life sometimes feels as if it’s “publish or perish.” If I ever perish, I would hope to reinvent myself with the same combination of true grit and humor Barbara conveys in every sentence she speaks.

Meanwhile, there’s been a steady flow of news in town ranging from Whole Foods signing a lease at Chappaqua Crossing, a proposal for a new and snazzy condo community at the Legionaries of Christ site, to most importantly, a solid citizen representation of New Castle residents weighing in with their visions for a Master Plan, as Eileen Gallagher reports here too. 
It’s not too late to get involved with that either!

Enjoy the month of June, everyone. It’s extra special for me with my two graduating seniors (Anna from UMass, Amherst and Ari from Greeley); immensely proud of them both, and wishing all New Castle (and beyond) families with graduating seniors a hearty congrats too.

P.S. There’s something for everyone during Chappaqua’s annual Sidewalk Sales Days. So mark your calendar! At press time, the Chappaqua-Millwood Chamber of Commerce told Inside Chappaqua this popular event will take place the weekend of July 24-26.