The Inside Press

Magazines serving the communities of Northern Westchester

beauty

Sweet and Beautiful

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I’ve been thinking about beauty a lot lately. With 2019 marking the 16th year of publishing Inside Chappaqua we wanted to mark our sweet 16 by featuring some sweet and beautiful content. First off, check out the sumptuous desserts from local restaurants, on pages 31 and 36.

This issue includes several essays on the evolving concept of beauty from different perspectives. High school senior Julia Bialek’s essay discusses how social media puts pressures on teens to conform to a certain unattainable societal standard of beauty but she’s hopeful that more campaigns like Dove’s real beauty will change people’s attitudes about what constitutes beauty.

Marlene Kern Fischer’s essay touches on the cookie cutter mold of beauty that prevailed during the Laverne & Shirley years and how as she has grown a bit older her idea of beauty has evolved. I identify strongly with it. When I was 16, I was in awe of the popular sitcom Beverly Hills 90210. I wanted to look like one of the characters Brenda played by Shannen Doherty so badly that I had my hair cut and colored the same color.

But modern day me would never walk into a salon and ask to look like a celebrity. I’m more comfortable in my own skin and have come to realize that confidence is beautiful. I also thoroughly enjoyed reading Daniel Levitz’s heartwarming essay about his wife’s beauty which still awes him even though they are no longer nineteen-year-olds. I hope you will too!

And there are some additional articles in this issue that also celebrate beautiful things. Empty Bowls, a division of (914) Cares fights hunger locally and this year’s fundraiser in our community pulled in $120,000 in funds to help feed the 1 in 5 Westchester residents who are food insecure. Local award-winning Haiku poet Scott Mason sees the beauty and wonder in nature’s smallest creatures.

Luckily with spring approaching, our town and its surroundings serve as inspiration for his poetry. My favorite sign of spring is the chorus of small frogs called peepers that I hear in the small pond behind my house. My children love the sound of the ducks flapping their wings around in the water.

Here’s to a sweet and beautiful spring for all of you.

Enjoy, 

P.S. I am so proud of our publisher Grace Bennett celebrating a 16th year of publishing Inside Chappaqua and Inside Armonk Magazines. I am also embracing our new slogan: ‘Sharing the Heart of your Community.’ In more news, the Inside Press also launched its latest hyperlocal magazine this month, Inside Pleasantville.

My Idea of Beauty at 19 and Now

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Author and his wife Laurie

It was the late 1980’s and a Grateful Dead cover band was playing it hot at a local college bar. Across the room I saw her. A classic Deadhead chick in faded jeans and a tie-dye, covered with a loose peasant blouse. She was balancing a beer in a plastic cup while un-self-consciously bopping to the music. To say she was an enticing vision would be an understated lie. She was just outstanding. At 19, I probably fell in love at least twice a week but this moment stood out. I was not the type to approach a girl in a bar and I may have stared a little too intently but it definitely felt like lightning had struck.

As it turned out I eventually got to know this stunning hippy girl, just a little, and away from that moment in time the magic was gone. She was sweet and cute but there was no connection. In retrospect that moment at the bar, aside from my unwieldy 19-year-old ardor, was a great summation of my understandably naïve take on beauty.

Back then I was limited in my perception of so many things. If I were to consider my opinion of what was beautiful at that time it would now seem dated and superficial. I’ll present here, embarrassing as it may be, what might have been my vision of an ideal evening at that time even if it was, in reality, completely out of reach. I’d pick up my date (picture the hippy chick above but really into me) in my new red Porsche 944 (one of the company’s few failed models), we’d have a fine meal at TGI-Friday’s (who knew mozzarella could be deep-fried!) and then we’d head off to the movies to see the latest John Hughes teen angst flick (to this day I still don’t quite understand Eric Stoltz’s big plan in “Some Kind of Wonderful”). I know. This scenario is not appealing.

Cut to 2019 and the world is spinning wildly out of control and we the people are divided. Social media is pervasive and invasive and we’re clearly, as a society, moving forward into unchartered territory in so many ways. As for me, I’m as immersed in the chaos as anyone else but I endure and now I believe, I have a more credible and learned perspective on the subject of what constitutes beauty.

I can now see beauty in so many things that had been inconceivable to me when I was a younger man. Obviously, watching our children grow and evolve is a no-brainer but is also a profound movement away from inherent pre-kids self-absorption. Having worked for many years, I now recognize the allure of someone doing a job, any job, with commitment, honor and excellence. I’ve been fortunate enough to have unexpected friendships that make life more fulfilling and fun. I’m also lucky to still be able to compete athletically at sports I loved as a child. Not to mention the pleasure of good food be it a bacon and egg on a roll or fresh summer peach.

I can now see beauty in so many things that had been inconceivable to me when I was a younger man.

Undoubtedly, the most consistent and important aspect of beauty I’ve been fortunate to be exposed to is my wife. Laurie is the embodiment of gorgeous both physically and spiritually. I’ve known her a long time and am completely secure in our relationship yet I still have moments where I shake my head and say, “How the hell did I achieve this”? On a typical morning, she’ll get dressed for work and ask me how she looks. This daily exchange has occurred for years. My first instinct is usually to say “beautiful” because that’s the truth. However, I usually choose a more work-setting appropriate adjective. I’d be lying if I didn’t admit that I look forward to that interaction every day.

Way back, at 19, I had another one of those memorable moments not unlike at the bar with the Deadhead chick. A lovely girl pulled up in a funky orange European car wearing a red-sweater and blue jeans. She had stunning coffee-colored eyes that matched her long hair. My heart fluttered a bit as I caught sight of this beautiful young woman. It was years later that we got to know each other well. Of course, it was Laurie and the lesson I’ve learned is that true beauty can even transcend the naivete of youth.

Redefining Beauty in the Age of Social Media

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We live in a digital world, a world in which eye contact has been replaced by the glow of backlit screens, chatter has been swapped out for the familiar sound of keyboard clicks, and “Happy Birthday!” cards have been transformed into posts on our friends’ Facebook walls. And as the world has become more digital, so, too, have our socialization trends, with social media becoming the primary means of communication for teenagers in my generation. While social media allows for a more interconnected, open, and limitless world, there is a hidden danger that people tend to gloss over when talking about its constant use: The effect on our self-esteem.

Whether it is a photo that a friend just posted on Instagram, an ad on Facebook with a near perfect looking model, or a makeup artist’s tutorial video on YouTube, it is only too easy to see photos and videos of people on social media and start comparing ourselves to them. In fact, I would argue that the constant slew of images that we are bombarded with online each day creates subconscious definitions of beauty, success, and happiness in our minds, definitions that are narrow, limiting, and unrealistic; definitions that we can never live up to. She’s so beautiful, why don’t I look like that? He has so many followers, I could never be that popular! Look at her friends, his hair, her clothes, his life!  But despite taking on a semblance of reality, most of what we see on social media is a lie. It’s 21st-century deception. Because unlike ever before, social media gives us the unique ability to curate our lives, to reveal to the world only what we want them to see. And if we can post the photo where we look the happiest, the prettiest, the most put together, why wouldn’t we want the world to see that?

And that, right there, is the danger of social media: By only sharing snapshots of our lives, we highlight the perfect and pretend that the imperfect does not exist.

We immerse ourselves in fictional worlds where all we see are images of sunny beach vacations, smiling family portraits, aesthetically pleasing coffee, and people at their prime. However, what we don’t see are all of the moments in between, all of the moments of sadness, suffering, and imperfection. And because we tend to keep those less-than-perfect moments hidden from our feeds, it is easy to compare our real lives to the “social media lives” of others and feel like we just don’t measure up. After all, when we are constantly surrounded by images of people whose lives look so put together, it can make it seem like we are the only ones whose lives aren’t.

Thankfully, social media is slowly starting to change. Now more than ever, companies, celebrities, and other social media users are embracing the idea that imperfection should not be hidden. With companies like Dove working to improve body confidence with their body positivity campaigns, celebrities like Selena Gomez, Demi Lovato, and Sarah Hyland opening up about their mental health battles, and couples like Gabrielle Union and Dwyane Wade sharing their struggles with fertility, social media is slowly becoming more transparent, communicating the idea that not only is it okay to be imperfect, but it is also okay to share those imperfections if we choose to do so.

Although social media often makes it seem this way, no one’s life is a continuous slide-show of vacations, parties, smiles, and friends. And while there is nothing wrong with choosing to share on social media the photos, stories, and videos that make us feel best about ourselves, there is also no shame in sharing the imperfect aspects of our lives as pivotal parts of our stories. Because, at the end of the day, that’s what social media is: Platforms that allow us to share the stories of our lives with the world. And no matter what narrative we choose to tell, it is important to put everything we see online into perspective. Because, for better or for worse, what we see on social media is not the whole picture of someone; rather, it is merely a few pieces in the puzzle of who they are.

Aura Style Bar Aims to Have you Radiate Beauty

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Premium Blowdry and Makeup Studio in the Heart of Chappaqua

Looking for somewhere local where, following expert and convenient services, you can walk out and ‘radiate beauty’?” Introducing: The new “Aura Style Bar,” a premium blowdry and make up studio at 191 King Street in Chappaqua. According to stylists Leticia and Jenn, the goal every time will be to help you radiate beauty ‘from the inside out.’ As per the opening promotion information here, you can enjoy special introductory rates on all services, a complimentary scalp massage and conditioning masques through the end of February. ‘Sunrise hours’ of 7-9 a.m. are available by appointment, and walk ins are welcome during regular business hours. See additional info below or visit:  www.auraboutiquesalon.com

At Aura Salon: Jenn Filardi (left) and Leticia Villagran.

 

 

The Beauty of Armonk

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The Gazebo at Wampus Brook Park
The Gazebo at Wampus Brook Park

By Miriam Longobardi

As you drive through the hamlet of Armonk you may not realize all the work that goes into the little touches that beautify the area. The wreaths during the holidays, the flags flying proudly from Memorial Day through Labor Day, and countless other seasonal and permanent displays one sees are just some of what the Armonk Beautification Committee makes happen each year.

The Committee, which is comprised of members appointed by the North Castle Town Board, serves Armonk, Banksville and North White Plains. The Armonk Beautification Committee is chaired by Carol Bidjarano and, since North Castle is so spread out, a sub-committee was formed for the other two hamlets. The committees all work together generating ideas for projects in their respective areas to maintain the beauty and appearance of open spaces as well as along streets.

Some projects, such as holiday wreaths and the hanging baskets in the spring, are done annually, with all projects funded by the budget allocated by the Town Board. Larger, more expensive endeavors need to be phased in over a few years to be more cost-efficient, such as replacing street signs as well as the lovely “Welcome to the Hamlet of…” signs welcoming people into each area. The amount of money for new projects is impacted by the costs of the things done annually that must be maintained. Still other projects are just beyond the scope of what the Committee can handle and are beyond their control.

Decisions about what projects to focus on are voted upon by the main committee at their monthly meetings, depending on which area is involved. “Majority rules,” Bidjarano reports. “We always keep an odd number on the Committee to avoid a tie.”

The flags hung for Memorial Day were all recently replaced and are another example of a larger venture. Smaller touches include flowers planted in the grassy triangles at various intersections or other green spaces.

Open spaces, or lack thereof, can sometimes present more of a problem than stretching the budget. “North White Plains is really challenged by a lack of open spaces to beautify,” Bidjarano said. There is also little room for people or organizations, such as scouts or students seeking community service, to volunteer as all work is done by the town.

Weather is another challenge that can impact potential projects. Last year, due to the extremely long winter and late spring, plans for planting flowers in front of St. Mary’s were put on hold. By the time the snow melted and the ground thawed, the town employees were scrambling to  ready the ball fields, parks and pool and the flower-planting was forced to be put on hold. The funds had been approved and allocated but they were unable to use them, but they hope to complete that work this year.

Despite occasional challenges, Bidjarano says that all the women who serve on the committees are proud of what they accomplish each year. “We enjoy the work and make a difference,” she said. “It’s a win-win.”

Miriam is a single mother of two girls living in Westchester. A breast cancer survivor, she volunteers for the American Cancer Society and teaches fourth grade. Follow her on Twitter @writermimilong.