The Inside Press

Magazines serving the communities of Northern Westchester

Holidays

Ever Grateful

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Photo by Donna Mueller

What can I say? Like so many, my heart felt shattered at the same time I was assembling these issues. But publishing a community magazine also offers an outlet for my own feelings regarding the stricken communities abroad, and here. Ever grateful for that and the support at home.

True to ‘sharing the heart of our community’, I heard from several local parents getting involved and from area business owners who wasted no time launching fundraisers, earmarking a portion of their proceeds, to help vital organizations get critically needed help and supplies to those most impacted. Children wrote cards, created bracelets, and more.

Before all the carnage took place, it’s perhaps fortuitous that I had already planned articles on coping with grief and sadness during the holidays; I’m glad for the valuable resources to consider in these editions.

Also, grateful to mindfulness expert Jodi Baretz who led an apolitical and humanitarian-oriented open women’s group with coping and stress relieving strategies to help anyone struggling with the psychological ramifications of a war from sadness to personal fears, and for leading the group in a loving/kindness meditation.

“Community is one of the most important things we have when we are going through this,” she said, and that could not be more true. I’ve assembled some poignant quotes from a vigil I attended, including from President Bill Clinton. See more below.

I attended other equally wonderful gatherings at press time, including a #BringThemHomeNow rally and vigil at the Anne Frank Garden of Remembrance in White Plains, and missed others in the interest of producing coherent publications during such a busy and stress-filled period. Janine Crowley Haynes weighs in with an abundance of sensitivity.

Also inside: stories which simply celebrate life and about those who cherish and protect lives, such as at the Mount Kisco Child Care Center, ARC Westchester, and Do Something… stories about those who touch hearts; you’ll find that in Adam Kaufman’s interview with Amy Ferris, author of Mighty Gorgeous, A Little Book About Messy Love.

I’m super proud of Armonk native Lisa Salko who relayed the inspiring tale of the 13 Driver’s Licenses to Stacey Pfeffer–Lisa’s role as Ambassador on this project comes at a time when the need for Holocaust and anti-hate education is an imperative.

The efforts in Briarcliff Manor toward greening, beautifying and sustainability could not be more community driven, so thrilled Michael Gold had a chance to catch up with the chair of the committee to get the scoop.

We also haven’t forgotten the arts. Nolan Thornton shares the inspiring ‘Westchester success’ story of country music superstar Jessica Lynn. We also have Pamela Brown’s profile of ‘Anatomy of Murder’ podcast co-host, Chappaqua’s Scott Weinberger. From the Jacob Burns Film Center, we spotlighted the joy of movies this holiday season, and membership.

And, there’s more.  The usual eclectic ‘mix’, so enjoy.

Please take good care of yourselves and families during this difficult time but also don’t forget to embrace the joy of the season; a holiday train show at the Greeley House may be just the ticket. And per Elisa Bremner, be food waste conscious. On that final note, happy Thanksgiving and happy holidays to you and yours.

 

 

A Community Vigil to Stand with Israel Drew Wide Support

Public officials, including former President Bill Clinton, clergy, and students of Greeley’s Club E.N.O.U.G.H and Student Union conveyed powerful messages of solidarity, comfort, and support to the thousand plus who gathered one week following the horrific October 7 massacre in Israel. As one student stated: “Our fear of having Jewish lives being lost just because of their beliefs is a reality we are forced to believe in. Never again is now.”

New Castle Town Supervisor Lisa Katz: “Tonight, in the face of darkness, let our unity be a beacon of hope as we stand together in solidarity with Israel and the Jewish people in our hearts, in our words, and most importantly, in our actions…

Rev. Dr. Martha Jacobs: “I join with my colleagues in crying and stand as a witness to their anger, rage and deep, deep sadness… but also their hope.” “You know what? Hatred can never win. It only brings more pain and more devastation.”

Rabbi Jonathan Jaffe expressing gratitude to interfaith allies: “In dark and anxious times you have provided us lift and light. I cannot tell you how much we appreciate it.” “May we respond to Hamas inhumanity with our own acts of humanity, with acts of love and kindness and charity.”

Congressman Michael Lawlor addressing the worst attack on Jews since the Holocaust: “Today we affirm that we will always be Israel’s greatest friends and ally… we will never turn our backs on them.”

President Bill Clinton offered: “I hope all over America and the world people who believe in peace and freedom and fairness for everybody will be gathering like this. It made me proud to see all of you and proud to be a part of this community.”

County Legislator Vedat Gashi affirmed: “Hamas and their co-conspirators have nothing to do with Islam. That barbarism is antithetical to Islam and to any other faith.”

Additional poignant remarks were offered by state Senator Peter Harckham, state assemblyman Chris Burdick, and Deputy County Executive Ken Jenkins. Concluding the vigil were closing remarks from members of the town’s Holocaust and Human Rights committee, the reciting of the Mourners Kaddish, a Memorial Candle lighting, and additional songs and prayers for Israel.

During Times of Stress: Reasons to Turn to The Therapists at REPOSE

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Megan Kordenbrock, LMSW, at Repose
Photo by Donna Mueller

It goes without saying, the holiday season can be a very stressful time. For some, the psychological trauma of world events may be deeply felt. But the reasons can also be more mundane. Between all the commitments. overbooking and family drama, anyone can feel overwhelmed. Add in the daily stressors already in our lives and some may find the need to reach out for some professional guidance. This is where Repose can help.

The Repose practice started early in the pandemic as a remote option for those seeking therapy. Now with an office space in Pleasantville, Repose provides clients with a holistic approach to therapy, honoring the connection between mind, body, and spirit. Its mission is to help people gain clarity, heal, and overcome challenges so that they may live with greater ease. As their website states, “Although we cannot cure our wounds, we can heal them.” Repose is here to help those who seek it and in a gentle and inclusive way.

One of their therapists Megan Kordenbrock, a Licensed Master Social Worker (LMSW), explains here how therapy can help and how to begin the process and wellness in general–whether it’s during this busy end-of-year season, or whenever the time feels right to you.

Megan joined the Repose team in July 2023 and has been a LMSW since 2011. She works with clients remotely as well as in the Pleasantville office, and having the option of either is very helpful for many clients. “People enjoy the flexibility of therapy online but also enjoy using the office in person. Being together in the room is awesome. However, for some people, it’s hard to get out of bed, but they can still go to therapy, and can do trauma-processing work online as well.”

Repose is always adapting to people’s needs whether they prefer remote or in-person sessions. Megan’s practice has mostly been in interpersonal violence work–domestic violence and sexual assault, helping those victimized as both children and adults. She works with survivors of trauma and has seen the ways in which people can heal and develop new ways of being and coping with their feelings. “With trauma and suffering with mental health: you think you are your symptoms. But I explain to people, there is nothing wrong with you. Something happened TO you. Your mind and system adapt with ways of dealing with it. We are taking the shame out of it and helping people find ways of coping with it.”

As the world has changed, so has our approach to seeking therapy. “We lived through a shift in how our world functions.

I work with a lot of college students who had a lot of losses–big and small. It was just how life really changed during pandemic–it was a lot to deal with, but we’re ready to move on as a culture.”

On Processing Feelings

One of Megan’s main philosophies is that of feelings. “You can’t heal what you can’t feel.” As a society, we tend to try and intellectualize situations and sometimes brush our feelings aside. The practice of being able to ‘sit in’ your feelings and really recognize them and give them a voice is an important part of any healing journey. “Being able to slow down in a way that’s safe and notice that feelings are just feelings–they just want to be felt. Can you slow down and step out of the back and forth of your mind. Ask yourself–’what am I feeling?’ I find that men and boys especially are socialized not to be in the feelings’ realm. Therapy is a safe space to feel what you’re feeling. The relationship element with the therapist is the most important ingredient for change and growth.”

Although therapy has become such a wide-spread part of how people work through their feelings and trauma, for some, there is still an apprehension towards trying it out. “It’s normal to feel a mix of both curious and anxious. People have often developed sound coping mechanisms to get by and not feel what they’re feeling. It can be overwhelming to take those feelings out. Trauma-informed therapy is so important –it’s a pacing thing. Going at a safe pace not to avoid but to say ‘we can do this together’ in a way that’s not overwhelming. You go slow. Especially for those that experience a lot of hard things–it can be scary.”  As both the world and our personal lives become more stressful seemingly by the day, the holiday season can be one that exacerbates our daily stresses. Megan shared some very helpful tips for coping and thriving through the new year.

“Whatever season of life you’re in, your relationship to the holiday season will change. There’s always a lot of expectations–spending time with others, rituals, travel, feeling the joy of the season. There’s a lot of transitions that are happening. Routines go out the window and it can be very disorienting–especially for kids in college kids who are navigating their new independence.” People grieving a loss or dealing with loneliness may find difficulties come up. “It can be a really painful time–do I celebrate or not?” Megan suggests planning ahead to help alleviate any unnecessary stresses.

“Know yourself. What season of life am I in and find a way to come up with a goal or mantra. Maybe it’ connection or rest. What are your priorities and how can they ground you? Consider what to say yes to or not. Have intention around a plan and how you want to spend your time.” She also suggests leaning on others so that not everything is fully on you. “Think ahead–there’s a big mental load that comes around during this time.” And don’t forget about prioritizing yourself–which we all know can be difficult. “What fills your cup? It may be time with friends, time alone, exercise, cooking, etc. It’s easy to lose these things first but make sure they’re a part of your time too so you’re not always just giving, giving, giving.”

Most importantly Megan says, just allow yourself to feel what you’re feeling. “It’s ok to have a rest day or a hard day or even feel like you’re having a good time when you thought you wouldn’t.” Your feelings are constantly shifting, but remember: your feelings belong to you and are always valid.

The Beauty of Publishing

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There’s no business like show business… except for maybe publishing community magazines!  With a cover story in Inside Armonk Magazine about Treasures and its wonderful volunteer and philanthropic efforts, I’m feeling that too. I’m also delighted we could bring you our Inside Chappaqua Magazine cover story in which BGCNW executive director Alyzza Ozer shares so many of the amazing accomplishments of the Boys & Girls Club of Northern Westchester. Both these stories were ‘from the source’–sharing from their hearts–and we may include more of these in future articles about non-profits, too.

Toiling away in my own little corner in my own little chair over the last 18 years, I’m not always immediately aware, but over time, I can become quite buoyed by the impact different stories have on a person, a single organization, or an entire community for that matter.

I won’t lie either. The occasional expressions of gratitude we receive in producing our own little show makes publishing feel like a truly beautiful and worthwhile endeavor. This past fall, we received two such letters! Please see excerpts from each below.

We have some wonderful stories about several of our sponsors in this edition as well, and I present those with deep gratitude, too. The ‘independent’ stories we produce would not be possible without advertising/advertorial support, and in truth, the stories about our sponsors can be equally well received–as most of them are your neighbors and friends, too! And, oh, so impressive.

The beauty of expressing gratitude also emerges as a theme in these current and end of the year ‘beautiful-inside and out’ themed holiday editions. We have several essays addressing that vital feeling of appreciation of others, or even of oneself (if you’re prone to discounting your own beauty; I know I am). I’m personally grateful for all the arts venues bursting back onto the scene, and yup, I sure love getting out of the house again! As much as possible, in fact! in these editions, we visit the Taconic Opera Company and the iconic Capitol Theatre (rock and roll heaven in our backyard) to acquaint you, or at least remind you of all the irresistible shows.

An end note here as well that the holiday season can be especially treacherous for families with children with food allergies, so don’t miss Ella Ilan’s story about two moms making a huge difference. And that’s beautiful too.

HAPPY HOLIDAYS! 

Letters to the Editor

“I am writing to send you sincere thanks for your story about the Hammond Museum and Japanese Stroll Garden in your September-October issues of Inside Armonk and Inside Chappaqua & Millwood. The articles were so well written and illustrated that we could not have done a better job ourselves! It is clear that the results of your articles have increased our admissions at the Hammond Museum, both because the past several Saturdays have brought the most visitors that we have had in a single day (except our Opening Day), with about a 1/3 increase over prior Saturdays, and also because several individuals specifically remarked that their visit was the result of seeing your article in their local magazine. In fact, a visitor, who is the head of a local community group, remarked today that she heard about the Hammond at a gathering several weeks ago but suddenly “I’m seeing the Hammond promoted everywhere!” She specifically mentioned that one of the primary sources was your magazine. So we cannot thank you enough for your interest and support in our institution…  — Elizabeth Hammer, Executive Director, Hammond Museum and Japanese Stroll Garden

“I’m writing to express my gratitude to you and Pia Haas for the story in the September-October issues of Inside Chappaqua & Millwood and Inside Armonk magazines welcoming me in my new role as President and CEO of Caramoor Center for Music & the Arts. The piece captures the richness of the experiences that can be enjoyed at Caramoor year round, whether it be teas, tours and concerts in the Music Room of the Rosen House in the Fall through Spring, or our extensive summer season of outdoor musical performances enhanced by garden strolls, picnics and our Sonic Innovations Sound Art collection. Caramoor is a local gem and we can’t thank you enough for sharing it with your readers. Publications like yours play a vital role in the community and it was an honor to be included. It was also wonderful to work with your photographer Donna Mueller (who, by the way, miraculously coaxed our Sandy to pose for a photo!) and to meet you in person on Chappaqua Day! …  — Edward J. Lewis III, President & CEO, Caramoor Center for Music & the Arts

Governor Cuomo Announces Impaired Driving Crackdown During Holiday Season

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Drive Sober or Get Pulled Over Enforcement Campaign to Run Through January 1

More than 159,000 Vehicle and Traffic Law Violation Tickets Issued During Last Year’s Enforcement Campaign, Including 5,677 Arrests For DWI

Governor Andrew M. Cuomo today announced that state and local law enforcement agencies throughout New York will be stepping up patrols to crack down on impaired driving during the holiday travel season. The enforcement campaign will run through Friday, January 1. This crackdown is part of the national “Drive Sober or Get Pulled Over” initiative designed to reduce alcohol and drug-related traffic crashes. It is sponsored by STOP-DWI with funding from the Governor’s Traffic Safety Committee.

“New York has zero tolerance for impaired driving,” Governor Cuomo said. “Motorists who drive under the influence not only put themselves at risk, but endanger the lives of everyone else. Be safe and smart this holiday season, whether you’re on the road or not. If you must travel, drive sober or have a plan in place to get where you’re going safely.”

During the 2019 enforcement campaign, law enforcement throughout the state arrested 5,677 people for impaired driving. In total, 159,133 tickets were issued for vehicle and traffic law violations. Full breakdown here:

 

Violation Number of Tickets
Impaired Driving 5,677
Distracted Driving 6,118
Move Over Law 1,014
Other Violations 113,637
Seatbelt 3,602
Speeding 29,085
Grand Total 159,133

 

DMV Commissioner and Chair of the Governor’s Traffic Safety Committee Mark J.F. Schroeder said, “The Governor’s Traffic Safety Committee is proud to support these initiatives that help get impaired drivers off New York’s roads. I thank our law enforcement and STOP-DWI officials for their work in making holiday travel safer for everyone. It’s simple, have a plan to get home safely.”

NYS STOP-DWI Foundation Chairman Reginald Crowley said, “Every year, too many lives are ruined by impaired driving. Make sure you have a safe ride home.”

State Police Acting Superintendent Kevin P. Bruen said, “As we celebrate the holiday season, we want to remind motorists to celebrate safely. If plans include alcohol, please plan ahead for a safe ride home. Driving impaired is a choice that can have serious, and sometimes deadly, consequences. The public’s safety is our top priority. As always, our Troopers will be highly visible and will have zero tolerance for impaired, reckless and distracted drivers.”

NYS Association of Chiefs of Police President Chief Patrick D. Phelan said, “I encourage all of our association members to actively participate in this critically important statewide high visibility enforcement campaign. We share a unified goal in partnership with local, county and state law enforcement personnel to detect and remove impaired drivers from our roadways and to make them as safe as possible during this holiday season.”

Washington County Sheriff and NYS Sheriffs’ Association President Jeffrey Murphy said, “The Sheriffs of New York State know many things will be different this holiday season but one thing remains the sameour dedication to keeping people safe on our roads. Impaired driving is unnecessary, dangerous, and illegal. Enjoy the holidays and have a plan to not drive impaired.”

A major component of New York’s efforts to combat impaired driving is the STOP-DWI program. STOP-DWI stands for “Special Traffic Options Program for Driving While Intoxicated.” The state’s STOP-DWI program is the nation’s first self-sustaining impaired driving program. The program’s efforts are funded from fines paid by convicted impaired drivers. Importantly, the program’s coordinators are comprised of diverse professional backgrounds, including law enforcement and non-law enforcement.

The STOP-DWI program was created to empower counties to coordinate local efforts to reduce alcohol and other drug-related traffic crashes. All 62 counties have opted to participate. Some examples of programs funded by STOP-DWI are: specially trained police units dedicated to DWI enforcement, hiring of special prosecutors and probation officers to handle the caseload, monitoring ignition interlock devices, supporting rehabilitation services, and developing public information and education campaigns tailored to communities within their respective regions. To learn more, visit http://www.stopdwi.org/.

In addition to STOP-DWI, the GTSC supports training for Drug Recognition Experts (DRE). DREs are specially trained officers utilized by law enforcement when a driver appears to be impaired, but police have ruled out alcohol as the cause or sole cause of impairment. A DRE receives extensive training that has been approved by the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration and the International Association of Chiefs of Police. The training allows officers to observe and document signs and indicators of impairment within each of seven drug categories including illicit and prescription drugs.

For more information about GTSC, visit https://trafficsafety.ny.gov/, or follow the GTSC conversation at Facebook and Twitter.

For more information about DMV, visit dmv.ny.gov, or follow the DMV conversation online at Facebook, Twitter and Instagram.

 

A Search for Joy in ‘Something New’

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Contemplating the Holidays Without My Extended Family

One of my brothers-in-law recently noted that the lack of family gatherings over the last seven months has thrown off his internal calendar. We have a large extended family–and it’s the celebrations and gatherings with those relatives that help mark the passage of time and distinguish one week, one month, one season from another.

If ever there was a time that we could benefit from the rhythm and joy of family gatherings, it’s now. And yet, if ever there was a time that we could benefit from staying away from each other, it’s now.

In past years: The author’s extended family at Christmas

So, what to do with the holidays? In normal years, we would host anywhere from 20 to 30-something on Thanksgiving and Christmas Eve. Our mid-century modern house isn’t huge, but its open floor plan allows everyone to be together in the same space whether cooking or engrossed in conversation. On Thanksgiving, we drag extra tables and chairs up from the garage, and each individual family contributes dishes and their labor to the effort. On Christmas, the base of the tree is smothered in gifts we exchange through Secret Santa and a hilarious Yankee Swap. I love watching the cousins of my children’s generation curl up together on our wraparound sofa like one long genetic sequence.

We are lucky: there is no embarrassing drunk uncle disrupting dinner. I am lucky: I never feel burdened by the toll of the work because there are so many hands offering help. If it sounds nauseatingly civilized, I suppose it is. I embrace the winter holidays with a passion that would provoke eye rolling among cynics, an association to which I belong the other ten months of the year.

This year with the pandemic still raging and travel fraught with peril, some of our family members are spread far enough away that they might as well live on another planet. My daughter, who just graduated from college in May, will be spending Thanksgiving in Alaska where she currently lives, returning for a week or two at Christmas. My son, a sophomore in college, is not allowed to come home for Thanksgiving unless he stays here through Christmas and winter break. So, we will be empty nesters for the first time ever at Thanksgiving. My sister recently moved to Green Bay, Wisconsin, to be with her daughter. I have two sisters-in-law who, with their families, live flights away, one in Europe. They haven’t seen any of their siblings (there are seven) or their ninety-three-year-old dad in nearly a year.

We’ve had a few conversations about the possibility of mini gatherings of six-ten. We’ve also considered the question, could Thanksgiving be held outdoors? We bought a restaurant-grade deck heater that could warm a handful of guests. But what if it rains or snows? We’re fortunate that our kids will be able to return home for Christmas. But because one will have been on a plane, the other on campus, we will likely stay clear of our extended family in December.

None of this is tragic of course–we are healthy, for now. More intimate versions of yearly traditions are hardly a disaster. The upside: a reasonable size turkey, one less tray of stuffing and more in-depth conversation.

I’ve noticed that my family and friends are careful not to complain too much about their pandemic malaise, acutely aware of the kind of emotional, physical and economic suffering that plagues so much of the country. There is guilt attached to wallowing when others have it worse. But perhaps one holiday gift we can give ourselves and those in our orbit is the freedom to acknowledge how much this has impacted us–changed us–left us without many simple joys, like connecting over a turkey and stuffing, around a tree, or to light candles.

As anyone who has had a birthday in this pandemic season understands, our celebrations this holiday season will be different–or at least they should be. And while they will be stunted, we may find in them something new, and some familiar comfort in their rhythms and joy.