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Magazines serving the communities of Northern Westchester

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A Tribute to My Aunt Jane

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I’M EIGHT, and standing by my bed is an actual grownup in iguana-themed pajamas: Aunt Jane.

“Wakey-wakey, ‘Lil Wingman!’” my weekend guardian commands. “What’re we doing today?”

“Ummmm…pajamas, TV and Häagen-Dazs all day long…and NO TELLING Mom!»

“You’re on, kid.”

We spend the next 48 hours sugar-high and stoked on back-to-back “Star Wars” flicks.

Jane’s officially the Pied Piper of my childhood.

TEN. It’s my birthday, and Jane brings a record–old to her, new to me.

Bruuuuce.

She and my dad start singing, dancing, playing air guitar, pulling me in. The music swells like an ocean, its hypnotic waves–love, loss, freedom–all new to me.

And time feels…infinite.

“Wait’ll you see Springsteen!” exults Jane (a Jersey girl). But I already know: I’m Born to Run.

THIRTEEN. My Bar Mitzvah is eclipsed by shocking news: Jane has pancreatic cancer. I can’t even fathom what I’m Googling: a 7% survival rate??

Jane starts chemo; I start high school. Immersed in chemistry, biology, statistics, I find no antidote to fear. I do find PanCan (Pancreatic Cancer Action Network). Inspired by its motto—“Wage Hope!”—I launch a website that’ll tell Jane’s story while raising funds and awareness, team-jane.com. A bashful kid, I’m starting to…Run. Because maybe time’s not infinite after all.

FOURTEEN. Team Jane flourishes online and off as I coordinate supporters for a 5K. Jane walks nervously alongside me, wearing a brilliant smile. We raise $3K, far exceeding our goal. Afterwards I phone her, bursting with plans for our next event. She’s weirdly subdued. “Wingman,” she confides, “it was the worst day of my life.” First I’m stunned, wounded. Then I realize I’ve been given a trust. My Pied Piper’s yanked me past childhood and into the abyss where only she and her tumor live.

“Heyyy…c’mon,” I stammer, helpless for words of my own, “y-y-know what Bruce says, ‘No retreat/no-ohhh sur-ren-derrr…’”

“Of course!” she responds, playful again. “And we’re a team now, thanks to…my captain!”

Her new nickname for me–“The Captain”–fuels my shaky-but-growing belief in myself.

SIXTEEN. Brooklyn, Delaware, Chicago–at PanCan Walks nationwide, Dad and I represent Team Jane. Jane, despite cancer’s spread, keeps fighting. I keep coordinating, blogging, fundraising. I’ve raised nearly $150K, and with it, my confidence.

I summer-intern at PanCan. It’s intimidating–lobbying on Capitol Hill, being interviewed on TV, addressing hundreds at 5Ks. Most rewarding is creating “Voices of Hope,” a platform for teens to connect with survivors. Hope: it’s the only thing that quells the fear in kids like me, racing against time. Except…it’s not enough.

On 9/24/16, I cling to the last remaining beeps of Jane’s monitor. The only other sound in her crowded-but-hushed hospital room: Bruce, serenading from somebody’s phone. She can’t speak anymore but recognizes me, still tries flashing that smile that launched a thousand crazy adventures.

I can’t speak either, because there are no more words. Together we’d fought for life/love/family/all-day PJs/nonstop ice cream/Springsteen/a freaking CURE.

Anything but this statistic.

SEVENTEEN. Heavy-hearted and lead-footed, I summon Jane’s mantra: “You must do the thing you think you cannot do.” I intern at another pancreatic cancer organization, CodePurple, where massive amounts of data are the chief weapons against this monster. Travelling the Northeast, entrusted with a self-designed project, I interview leading clinicians and researchers.

It’s illuminating. Progress, I’m learning, is fueled by passion and data, like life encompassing both sugar-highs and heartbreak. I grapple with paradoxes: Jane’s eternal childlike persona and her adult hell. And I resume Running–not “away” from anything, but towards everything.

My momentum is now for the 65,000 Americans battling this cancer and the 50,000 who’ll be diagnosed next year. For Jane and all the others whose races have ended. And for my own self; for the ability to marry fear with hope, hardship with joy–to fill finite hours with infinite fun. Blessed with this rare gift, my aunt took on the world. Today, armed with a Häagen-Dazs pint and a playlist, I plan on doing the same.

Local Jeweler Supports the SPCA of Westchester

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Scott and his American Bulldog rescue
Walk down King Street in Chappaqua, NY and you’ll spot tons of local businesses. Be it a clothing store, nail salon or a jewelry store–they’re all over. Many of these businesses have been around for decades and have well served the residents of the area. However, these businesses are not just good for selling products to locals, but many also grant significant support to various charities. Desires by Mikolay, one of the jewelers in town, is well known for its support of the Society for the Prevention of Cruelty of Animals, or better known to many as the SPCA located in Briarcliff Manor.

Scott and Tara Mikolay, the powerhouse husband and wife team that owns Desires, became involved with the SPCA in 2008 because of their joint passion for animals. The couple has had six of their own rescue dogs over the years, ranging from an Australian Cattle Dog to an American Bulldog, so the idea of supporting a charity to raise awareness and support for rescue animals was a “natural fit,” according to Tara.

Tara and Scott care so deeply for the SPCA that they wanted to expand their contributions beyond the personal level by getting their business involved. Since 2008, they have hosted Shop for a Cause, a charity shopping event where they donate 10% of the night’s proceeds to the SPCA. This year, Desires had record success, raising over $4,000 over the course of the evening. The night was so successful because of the staff’s dedication to the cause, as well as the love and support brought in by each client.

In total, Desires has raised more than $45,000 for the organization through the annual holiday event as well as by offering “Gifts with Impact” throughout each year. Tara explained that it is incredibly useful to have “a platform in one of the most generous towns in the country.”

Mini, a beloved pug rescued by the Mikolays. She passed away this year at 16 years.
Although shopping for jewelry is one great way to help the SPCA, there are many other ways to get involved. The SPCA is always in need of committed volunteers and they have an Amazon wish list with products they need for the shelters. Even something as simple as liking the SPCA on Facebook can make a difference and according to Tara, “your impact, however big or small, is so meaningful.”

Tara explained that the SPCA is more than just a rescue organization. Their programs range from taking tireless care of each dog they take in to working to change animal abuse laws and education.

Tara and Scott’s connection to the SPCA runs deep. “Rescuing dogs for us is the only option. There are so many dogs in need and we have been blessed with the love of all of our dogs,” Tara said. The couple is even on the lookout for a companion for their current dog, Gus, and they will certainly be looking to rescue. With more than 1,300 orphaned animals rescued at the SPCA last year alone chances are Gus may just find a “furry friend” there.

To Support Multiple Myeloma Research: Eric Gelber Aims to Go the Extra (200th!) Mile

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Photo 1 - Eric Gelber Running
Gelber running in the Mojave Desert as part of his 135 miles in the Badwater Ultra-Marathon, Death Valley, CA, 2015.

By Matt Smith

You know how the saying goes: “If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again.” While these words are no doubt sage advice for anyone wishing to achieve any goal, you can bet they’re especially pertinent to Chappaqua resident Eric Gelber, who will take his third stab at running 200 miles on September 16th through New York City’s Central Park to support and raise funds for the Multiple Myeloma Research Foundation.

Gelber began running independently for the cause in 2007, to raise money in support of a friend who had been diagnosed with the disease, an incurable blood cancer that has one of the lowest five-year relative survival rates of all cancers. “It started out with a marathon in New York City,” he explains, “and over the years…sort of built up and [I] started running longer races.”

The idea for the Central Park event arose in 2011, when “I did a solo run through the Catskills,” which he completed in 45 hours, beginning in Oneonta and ending 175 miles later at his parents’ home in Suffern. “It wasn’t a [official] race, though,” he explains. “It was just [of] my own [accord] to raise money…and attract some more attention [to the cause].” However, “when I got there [to the finish line], there were 50-60 people–I could hear them cheering from down the road as we finished and I just knew right then that we were doing something that was making a difference.”

And he capitalized on that feeling. The following year, he ran the Badwater Ultra-marathon in Death Valley, CA, “but the plan was to come back in 2013 and do something in New York City.” And, that September, as planned, the epic Central Park challenge was born.

Gelber initially pledged a goal of 200 miles, which he would achieve by running continuous 6.1 mile loops around Central Park. Though he hasn’t made it quite yet (his previous attempts in 2013 and 2014 covered 164 and 176 miles respectively), after a year off in 2015, during which he returned to Badwater–and raised a whopping $140,000 for the MMRF–he’s excited to be back in New York City for another shot at the 200-mile goal. “8 a.m. [on] September 16th, I’ll be out there,” he says, proudly, noting he’ll begin up at Engineer’s Gate on the East end of the park, “and I’ll [aim to] finish sometime on the 18th.”

If you’re inclined to support Gelber in person, “we’re really easy to find out there,” he says, noting the “big orange MMRF tent” at which he and his team will be situated. “We also have a [Facebook] page called ‘Just a Mile to Go,’” he adds, “where we will post information on how you can actually register and sign up to come run a loop with me, [or] make a donation, or set up your own fundraising page.”

If you can’t yet decide how you’d like to contribute, you can always simply show up at the event and take it from there, which Gelber notes “a lot of people do.” (They’ll also live stream the run straight from the Facebook page as well.).

(L-R) Kyle, Tani, Isla, Eric and Jared Gelber
(L-R) Kyle, Tani, Isla, Eric and Jared Gelber

Whichever way you support, Gelber hopes you do take note of the cause, as it’s near and dear to his heart. To that end, though his friend, Anita Sorrell, unfortunately lost her battle in 2012, his involvement with the MMRF has allowed him and his wife to engage and connect with others who have been affected both directly and indirectly by the cancer. “Sometimes when you lose the person you’re fighting for, your first reaction–which certainly was mine–is ‘What’s the point?’” Gelber explains. “But after taking a step back and thinking about where we were on this journey, my wife and I thought it was important to keep fighting for everybody who’s still with us. So, we do it for them.”

And while it isn’t always easy waking up to a daily 4:30 a.m. alarm and training intensely before heading off to a full-time job, Gelber acknowledges that the strides made in collecting donations and funding further research make it all well worth the effort, stating: “I know that what I am doing is making a real difference in the lives of [multiple myeloma] patients.”

But that’s not to say he does it all solo. Wholly recognizing “there’s no way I could do this on my own,” he wishes to extend sincere thanks to the entire staff at the MMRF for all their help and assistance, as well as his many close friends and family, both here in Chappaqua and in other neighboring towns. Above all, however, he thanks his wife, Tani, and three children, Jared, Kyle, and Isla. “Their support is unwavering,” he says, with a smile. “It’s been amazing.”

In closing, Gelber, who describes himself in three words as “determined [and] mentally tough,” offers a few encouraging words to those “adventurers”–men, yes, but also people of all ages and gender–who might be looking to pursue a similar goal. “I think you just gotta commit,” he says, “and not just to the end goal, but to the process of getting there.”

Citing the multiple myeloma patients and their “incredible mental focus, commitment, and [the fact that they’re] willing to fight,” he reminds the dreamers: “Don’t let anything stand in your way. You gotta follow through, make promises to yourself and keep those promises. I remind myself of the promises I make to myself each night, and I get up and do it. Take one step at a time, and you’ll reach your goal eventually.” And hopefully, if you’re anything like the tenacious Gelber, when you do, the world will be better for it.

For more information on the Multiple Myeloma Research Foundation, including how to join Gelber in his efforts and/or donate to the cause, please visit www.themmrf.org.

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May 22: Annual Colon Cancer Challenge in Purchase, NY

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By Jennifer Butler

If you had the ability to prevent more than 50,000 deaths a year, would you do it? If so, join us on May 22nd at Manhattanville College in Purchase, NY for the 13th Annual Colon Cancer Challenge.

The Colon Cancer Challenge is a unique opportunity for survivors, caregivers and loved ones to honor and celebrate the individuals in their lives who have fought bravely against the this devastating cancer killer. By coming together to walk, run, and cheer we are able to raise awareness of this deadly but largely preventable disease and expand the network of support and dedication for our those affected by the disease.
WestchesterCCChallenge1
This family-oriented event consists of a Remembrance and Prevention Walk, a 4-mile Mixed Terrain Fun Run, a Kids Fun Run for children under 12, entertainment and a wellness festival. The top male and female finishers will receive trophies while each Kids Fun Run finisher will receive a medal. All participants will receive a commemorative t-shirts and refreshments.

Survivors are invited to participate in a special Survivor Ceremony and our annual photo prior to the start of the walk, and will also have access to a V.I.P. tent.
The Challenge was New York’s first public colorectal cancer awareness event, founded in 2004 by world-renowned colorectal cancer surgeon and researcher – and longtime Chappaqua resident – Dr. Thomas Weber. “When I started the Colon Cancer Challenge 13 years ago, I could only hope that it would grow as large as it is now. It’s amazing how many people join us every year to raise awareness of New York State’s second leading cancer killer,” he says.

“We are so excited to be back at Manhattanville College this year,” says Cindy Borassi, CCCF Executive Director. “No matter what distance they walk or run, every step our community members take reminds us that this disease is largely preventable with early detection and by incorporating a healthy diet and exercise into your lifestyle.”

Challenge participant Beth Beckmann lost her husband John to colon cancer in 2004, just a few months after the first Colon Cancer Challenge. “Seeing the support pour in for John through donations to our daughter’s Challenge team brought great joy to us all in the final months of John’s life,” Beth says. “I continue to participate in Challenge events and support CCCF in memory of John and also in the hope that fewer and fewer families will have a story like ours.”

Despite the progress we have made over the last decade in reducing the incidence of colorectal cancer in those over 50, early age onset cases of colorectal cancer have been dramatically increasing every year, even affecting those in their early twenties. By funding research into this terrifying trend and offering support to survivors and their families, CCCF is at the forefront of the fight against early age onset colorectal cancer.

Challenge participant Samantha Frazier was diagnosed with Stage 3 colon cancer at age 24. Now 27 and cancer-free, Samantha, along with her team of family and friends, believes the Challenge is a way to spread the critical message of awareness and prevention while celebrating survivorship. She says, “I want others to know that they can live too and celebrate their glory as a warrior forever!”

WestchesterCCChallenge2When Samantha took to the stage for the Survivor Ceremony at last year’s Westchester Colon Cancer Challenge, a hush fell over the crowd. Her youthful presence was a reminder that this disease does not discriminate. And her sweet smile and courageous spirit were a reminder that this disease can – and will – be defeated.
Last year more than 3,500 people participated in Colon Cancer Challenge events, raising nearly $750,000. This year CCCF hopes to reach its goal of $1 million to continue its lifesaving public awareness, screening and prevention programs for the underserved and uninsured, as well as research focused on early age onset of colorectal cancer.

To get involved, call 914.305.6674 or visit events.coloncacnerchallenge.org.

Finding a New Spiritual Home at FCC

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Michelle Best
Michelle Best

By Michelle Best

In the fall of 2010, my husband passed away three weeks after a cancer diagnosis, when the first dose of chemotherapy proved fatal. I found myself a widow, with six- and eight-year-old daughters. Since he was a building superintendent in Manhattan, our home was linked to his job; once he passed, the nuns from our church, which owned the building, gave me only six weeks to vacate our home, eventually serving me with eviction notices on Christmas Eve. My church no longer felt like home, and in my hour of need. Unbelievably, they even asked me to increase my volunteering. I needed comfort. I also needed help and to learn how to receive it. Fortunately, my community outside of what I had thought was my church family, surrounded me and took me into their arms. Manhattan is more neighborly than you might think.

Janet Girardeau, one of the most loving women I knew in my Midtown neighborhood, suggested that my girls and I accompany her to her friend’s “marvelous church” in Chappaqua. Knowing that I was Catholic, she said that I would not even have to attend the service, but that I would “really enjoy the drive and it will do you some good to get out to the country and see the fall foliage and breathe some fresh air.” Smiling, she described a playground for my kids where “they can climb a tree and play out in the fresh air; it’s simply beautiful.”

Needing the spiritual boost, I accepted, and we set out from Times Square towards Chappaqua. Decompressing with each mile, I began to breathe as I took in the trees, golden and red and orange. An hour later we pulled into the giant parking lot of the First Congregational Church. I attended the service and was welcomed without any pressure. It felt familial and warm. Very low key, as though I’d stumbled into a meeting of people who genuinely knew the secret of how to live, and how to be kind. And a miraculous thing happened; my children had a great time at church!

Later, they begged me to return. “Can we please go back to that place? It was fun!” We returned the following week, and afterwards witnessed the most beautiful thing. An elderly parishioner was dying, in his last months or even weeks. At coffee hour after the service, his family and friends, even his hospice nurse, were welcomed. The men of the church, his closest friends, honored him, memorializing his name while he was still alive to hear it.

Getting it “Right”

They stood with a microphone and told stories of their years together, remembering the things he had done for the community, for the building we were in, for the world. A living funeral. These people, this church, was getting it RIGHT! They were honoring his life, right to him. Not waiting until it was too late to tell him about all that he had meant to the congregation.

I had found a new church community at FCC. And its sole mission was to make people feel good by doing good for one another. Even my children could see and feel that simply doing good for and with a group of people is the best medicine for a broken heart. We had found healing, in people, in this beautiful place, with beautiful nature. It became our spiritual home for good.

Years later, this remains our church. We don’t make it up to Chappaqua every week, but when we do we are welcomed and feel like we’re home. People at FCC don’t judge when life interferes with churchgoing; I always feel good when I walk through the doors, whether it’s been a week or a month since my last visit. At FCC everyone shares their thoughts, everyone is involved, and even during “the homily” (as we called it in my Catholic church) we are encouraged to raise questions and discuss our role in making the world a better place.

After a wild night of trick-or-treating and a sleepover, I was willing to let my kids off the hook one Sunday morning. To my surprise, it was not to be. My 12-year old convinced her friend to come with us. “Don’t worry, it’s not like a regular church, it’s actually really fun…the only thing we do is really fun things and then it helps people and you get to play and run around and it’s awesome.” My 14-year old, normally only interested in Snapchat, added that “we get to make backpacks for poor kids who can’t afford school supplies and we put together packed lunch for homeless people, and we had a car wash and stuff, and we get to sell Christmas trees to people, too.” Their friend was excited to join us, and left FCC having had the promised fun.

FCC gets things right: the world can use a spiritual place for good. Everyone, even kids, like to help other people–it just feels good. The more people we have the more good we can do, for ourselves and for one another.

Michelle Best is a writer, director and actor living in Manhattan. 

For more information about the First Congregational Church, please visit: fcc-chappaqua.org