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A Tribute to My Aunt Jane

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I’M EIGHT, and standing by my bed is an actual grownup in iguana-themed pajamas: Aunt Jane.

“Wakey-wakey, ‘Lil Wingman!’” my weekend guardian commands. “What’re we doing today?”

“Ummmm…pajamas, TV and Häagen-Dazs all day long…and NO TELLING Mom!»

“You’re on, kid.”

We spend the next 48 hours sugar-high and stoked on back-to-back “Star Wars” flicks.

Jane’s officially the Pied Piper of my childhood.

TEN. It’s my birthday, and Jane brings a record–old to her, new to me.

Bruuuuce.

She and my dad start singing, dancing, playing air guitar, pulling me in. The music swells like an ocean, its hypnotic waves–love, loss, freedom–all new to me.

And time feels…infinite.

“Wait’ll you see Springsteen!” exults Jane (a Jersey girl). But I already know: I’m Born to Run.

THIRTEEN. My Bar Mitzvah is eclipsed by shocking news: Jane has pancreatic cancer. I can’t even fathom what I’m Googling: a 7% survival rate??

Jane starts chemo; I start high school. Immersed in chemistry, biology, statistics, I find no antidote to fear. I do find PanCan (Pancreatic Cancer Action Network). Inspired by its motto—“Wage Hope!”—I launch a website that’ll tell Jane’s story while raising funds and awareness, team-jane.com. A bashful kid, I’m starting to…Run. Because maybe time’s not infinite after all.

FOURTEEN. Team Jane flourishes online and off as I coordinate supporters for a 5K. Jane walks nervously alongside me, wearing a brilliant smile. We raise $3K, far exceeding our goal. Afterwards I phone her, bursting with plans for our next event. She’s weirdly subdued. “Wingman,” she confides, “it was the worst day of my life.” First I’m stunned, wounded. Then I realize I’ve been given a trust. My Pied Piper’s yanked me past childhood and into the abyss where only she and her tumor live.

“Heyyy…c’mon,” I stammer, helpless for words of my own, “y-y-know what Bruce says, ‘No retreat/no-ohhh sur-ren-derrr…’”

“Of course!” she responds, playful again. “And we’re a team now, thanks to…my captain!”

Her new nickname for me–“The Captain”–fuels my shaky-but-growing belief in myself.

SIXTEEN. Brooklyn, Delaware, Chicago–at PanCan Walks nationwide, Dad and I represent Team Jane. Jane, despite cancer’s spread, keeps fighting. I keep coordinating, blogging, fundraising. I’ve raised nearly $150K, and with it, my confidence.

I summer-intern at PanCan. It’s intimidating–lobbying on Capitol Hill, being interviewed on TV, addressing hundreds at 5Ks. Most rewarding is creating “Voices of Hope,” a platform for teens to connect with survivors. Hope: it’s the only thing that quells the fear in kids like me, racing against time. Except…it’s not enough.

On 9/24/16, I cling to the last remaining beeps of Jane’s monitor. The only other sound in her crowded-but-hushed hospital room: Bruce, serenading from somebody’s phone. She can’t speak anymore but recognizes me, still tries flashing that smile that launched a thousand crazy adventures.

I can’t speak either, because there are no more words. Together we’d fought for life/love/family/all-day PJs/nonstop ice cream/Springsteen/a freaking CURE.

Anything but this statistic.

SEVENTEEN. Heavy-hearted and lead-footed, I summon Jane’s mantra: “You must do the thing you think you cannot do.” I intern at another pancreatic cancer organization, CodePurple, where massive amounts of data are the chief weapons against this monster. Travelling the Northeast, entrusted with a self-designed project, I interview leading clinicians and researchers.

It’s illuminating. Progress, I’m learning, is fueled by passion and data, like life encompassing both sugar-highs and heartbreak. I grapple with paradoxes: Jane’s eternal childlike persona and her adult hell. And I resume Running–not “away” from anything, but towards everything.

My momentum is now for the 65,000 Americans battling this cancer and the 50,000 who’ll be diagnosed next year. For Jane and all the others whose races have ended. And for my own self; for the ability to marry fear with hope, hardship with joy–to fill finite hours with infinite fun. Blessed with this rare gift, my aunt took on the world. Today, armed with a Häagen-Dazs pint and a playlist, I plan on doing the same.

A March for Kids, Planned by Kids

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On March 24th, approximately 850,000 students and adults took to the streets of Washington, DC., with other “sibling marches” taking place across the country, including locally in White Plains. This event, which was appropriately titled “March For Our Lives,” was completely organized by Parkland, Florida students, including Emma Gonzalez, David Hogg and Cameron Kasky.

These teens have become the most outspoken supporters of the gun control movement since the February 14th shooting at their high school. Other notable figures also took part in and financially supported event. The march gathered international attention, was widely covered by the media, and received praise from leaders around the world.

(L-R): Jake Mikesell, Ari Silver, Maxwell Keilles

A Day to Remember

As plans for the march came together, I spoke with some friends from Greeley and we decided that we were not doing enough to help. So in the early morning hours of March 24th, we boarded a bus at Congregation Kol Ami in White Plains to travel to Washington D.C.  We arrived in D.C. at around 11 a.m., but the ride itself was particularly emotional for me because I was able to sit for the first time and reflect on what had unfolded over the last month.

As we approached the parking lot at RFK Stadium, we were swarmed by hundreds of busses filled with marchers of all ages. Once parked, we trekked towards the city with homemade banners in hand. Everywhere we walked, the surrounding community had opened their doors to offer food and support to the thousands of protesters who had come from around the country. As we walked, we took in the beauty of the city and the blooming flowers and finally arrived to the sight of the Capitol Building. I was overcome with emotion as I fully recognized the importance of the day.

Horace Greeley junior Maxwell Keilles shared his thoughts on the event. “The march was one of the most important things I feel that I’ve done and I felt great that I was able to hear such inspiring speeches from so many wonderful people.” Another Greeley junior, Jake Mikesell commented, “I chose to attend the march because I am a high school student and hearing about mass school shootings and students my age dying is horrific and should be stopped. Gun reform should be much stricter so that schools can be safer.”

Musicians & Moments of Silence

Shortly after our arrival the event commenced. Multiple musicians performed, including Lin-Manuel Miranda of Hamilton fame and Ben Platt from Dear Evan Hansen. The two had come together to perform a song that they had written for the event. Shortly after, students from Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School delivered heartfelt speeches. The most notable was Emma Gonzalez’s, who held a six-minute moment of silence. The six minutes represented the amount of time it took for the shooter, Nikolas Cruz to kill 17 people in Parkland. Throughout the moment of silence, the crowd yelled “never again” in perfect unison. Other teens and kids who had been directly affected by gun violence also spoke to the large crowd. It was unlike anything I had ever witnessed.

Gun Control Takes the National Spotlight

While students take to the streets in a call for action, lawmakers in Washington are looking at ways they can change our nation’s laws for the better. According to Politico, polls show that support for greater gun restrictions has risen dramatically since the Parkland shooting. Still, most politicians who receive funds from the NRA, refuse to deny such politically motivated payments, which has caused public outrage. The already serious issue has caused much polarization.

Looking Ahead

The events that unfolded on March 24th are not the end of this movement, they are only the beginning. Students plan on organizing numerous events and walkouts to help spread the message that “enough is enough” and that it is time to take action. These events are taking place during an important year, as the midterm elections are set to take place this fall.

Walkouts have already been planned for April 20th, which is the 19th anniversary of the shooting at Columbine High School. Students are trying to figure out how they can be more active in their communities and local governments.

One piece of advice that Representative Nita Lowey shared during my recent meeting with her was to go out and vote. I found this message to be the most inspiring, since it is likely to have the most direct effect on the individuals who make our laws. For students who are not of voting age, I would encourage them to call their local representatives, voice their opinions and ask for support on specific legislation.

In Remembrance

On April 20th, during National School Walkout, we will take the time to remember the lives of the 12 students and 1 teacher who were killed in Columbine High School 19 years ago. And we also keep in our minds all who have lost their lives to gun violence. While this has been an emotional and eye opening time for myself and my peers, this has been an opportunity for students and adults to find their voices and realize where they stand on this controversial issue and what we can accomplish together.