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Lonely Hearts Club: A Breakup Support Group

November 13, 2020 by Lexi Jooneph-Briedbart

Lexi Jooneph-Briedbart, founder, Lonely Hearts Club
PHOTO By Erica Berger

Surviving a breakup is an experience that no one can relate to unless they are currently going through it. The intense and dark emotions will not go away with advice like, “time will heal.” I know, because I’ve had my heart shattered in what felt like it was tossed in a food processor.

At the time, I had supportive friends and family, but none who could truly understand my struggle. The days that follow immediately after are disorienting. It’s like you were hit by a wave and you don’t know which way to swim. Without warning you are forced into a new chapter of your life. There is so much loss in such a short amount of time and it is a loss you have no control over. Many individuals going through a breakup, including myself at the time, feel like the breakup is so specific to them. It’s as if the breakup was not supposed to happen to their relationship, maybe to other people, but this relationship was different.

For me, searching the web to find others that could relate was a lifeline. This was years ago, but Lonely Hearts Club was founded on the idea that when women come together to share their breakup stories, they are experts in helping one another navigate the heartbreak process.

A significant moment from a group was when a woman confessed her fantasy of reconciling. She said her mind was on a loop replaying a scenario where her ex comes back. The group let out a synchronous sigh of relief. Knowing they were not alone in these thoughts gave them comfort and allowed them to recognize that their breakup was not so specific to them.

As these women continued talking through this fantasy, they guided one other to recall the bad parts of the relationship. It takes one woman to share her story for others to feel less alone.

Since May I have been running groups with women across the country. Currently, it is setup as a virtual support group. Members are given a different theme each session, such as impact of the breakup, forgiveness, and confidence. The bond these women form by the end of the first hour is noticeable. Often members will exchange phone numbers and set-up a group chat to engage before the next session. They rely on each other when the craving to contact an ex kicks in or they need validation that they are not alone in their experience.

The community these women have built is one I want to continue to help foster. My goal for Lonely Hearts Club is for it to become a known resource for women across the country. Giving members a safe space to be vulnerable has helped many process their breakup in a productive way. Heartbreak can and often does lead to depression. By facilitating a breakup support group, the risk of depression decreases. In addition to running the groups, I want the club to be an entity that makes women feel less alone in their heartbreak.

When members first join the group it is evident that their self confidence is low and their functioning is disrupted by emotions of devastation and memories of their ex. At the end of each session, members set an intention for the week. The most common intention is to get through the week without looking up an ex on social media.

Setting an intention gives members small attainable goals, making the breakup process less overwhelming. Members value the group to hold them accountable for their intention. Whether they can stick to it or have a slip up, they know the group is on their side. After completing all eight sessions, members feel they have made exceptional progress in moving forward. They also come out of the group with newfound friendships.

Loneliness is a feeling that many of us have experienced since the pandemic and it is a feeling that swallows individuals whole after a breakup.

When part of a group, loneliness is not so prevalent. Members express they feel like they are on a team and heartbreak is the opponent. These women are banding together to come out of their heartbreak on top. To inquire about joining the group, email nyclonelyheartsclub@gmail.com. Visit LonelyHeartsClubnyc.com.

‘Feed Me Fresh’ Virtual Fundraiser Raised $100,000 to Support Quality Child Care Access

November 12, 2020 by Inside Press

Proceeds from the 16th Annual Fundraiser for the Mount Kisco Child Care Center to Provide Financial Support for Working Families in Need

L-R: Keira Treanor, Event Chair and Vice President, Board of Directors MKCCC/ Joe DiMauro, Owner, Mt Kisco Seafood/Dawn Meyerski, Executive Director, MKCCC

Mt. Kisco, NY – (October 19, 2020) – Mount Kisco Child Care Center (MKCCC) held its 16th Annual Feed Me Fresh: A Virtual Evening on Saturday, September 26^th. The fundraiser was broadcast virtually for the first time and raised $100,000 for the Center’s need-based scholarship program. Viewers enjoyed a tour of the Center, honoree recognition, guest video appearances from long-time FMF restaurant partners and live raffle drawings. Approximately half of the 195 children who attend the Center receive financial support to help provide access to quality child care for working families.

This year, MKCCC was thrilled to honor its teachers and staff. MKCCC is the only local child care center to have remained open throughout the pandemic, and by sharing best practices helped guide other organizations as they made the decision to re-open. In addition to serving families of essential workers, the Center welcomed enrolled families who needed a safe and nurturing place for their children to be during this unprecedented time. The teachers also engaged remote families so that all students felt connected. Lessons and activities were sent home through Google Classroom while Zoom classes were created for all children including show and tell, music, dance, circle time and story hour. MKCCC’s in-house kitchen staff prepared and packaged 160 meals each week for 8 weeks throughout the summer and distributed them to more than 40 families. MKCCC’s Social Worker continues to be in touch with every family to ensure all their needs are being met – physical, social and emotional. Despite constant and varied challenges, the Center ran a full-day, 8-week summer camp program which also included a swimming component at the town pool.

When public schools reopened in September, a new Remote Learning Program was developed. Dawn Meyerski, Executive Director, explains: “With school districts all having different scheduling, we needed to add a third program for our school-age children. The Early Morning Club and After-School Program will remain, with the addition of the Remote Learning Program. New teachers were hired, classrooms were reconfigured, and schedules were coordinated with the elementary schools, which ensured a smooth transition to the new school year.” MKCCC teachers continue to pivot to meet ever-changing COVID-19 protocols and requirements, while never compromising their high-quality care and attention for the children.

The Center was also pleased to honor Tommy Calandrucci and Gianni Piccolino of Stone Fire, Basilico and Sunset Cove restaurants. Gianni and Tommy are long-time supporters of Mount Kisco Child Care Center through their participation in Feed Me Fresh: An Edible Evening for the past 14 years. Since March, they have been providing meals to the community and directly to MKCCC families needing support during the COVID-19 pandemic.

About Mount Kisco Child Care Center:

Mount Kisco Child Care Center is a non-profit, NAEYC-accredited childcare facility serving families in Northern Westchester since 1971. MKCCC provides exceptional and affordable early care and education to a diverse group of children from three months to eleven years of age. Experienced and professional teachers, an innovative curriculum, unique programs, such as the JEWEL Intergenerational Program and Feed Me Fresh, its garden-to-table, sustainable nutrition program, and a state of the art facility contribute to create an incomparable early childhood education experience.

MKCCC is located at 95 Radio Circle, Mount Kisco, NY. For additional information, please visit www.mkccc.org or call (914) 241-2135. Follow MKCCC on www.facebook.com/MKCCC and www.twitter.com/MKCCC10549 for the latest news and updates.

News and Photos Courtesy of the Mount Kisco Child Care Center

10 Takeaways from a Conversation with our State Assemblyman David Buchwald on his Candidacy for Congress

December 1, 2019 by Grace Bennett

David and Lara Buchwald
Photo By Sarah Merians Boutique Photography, courtesy of David Buchwald

In keeping with our Top Ten theme, here are ten key takeaways gleaned from my interview with David Buchwald, shortly after our 41 year-old legislator (Assembly District 93) announced his candidacy in October for the 17th Congressional district held by Nita Lowey for the last 31 years. After he was among the first to enter the race*: the interview took place over a 45-minute session seated at his dining room table in White Plains.

1. He is very enthusiastic about his candidacy and enjoys multiple corners of support. “I’m feeling excited because a lot of people approached me and said I’d be the right person to succeed Nita Lowey! Moving forward, it will be a pleasure to be able to fight for Westchester and Rockland Counties. We need a government in Washington that’s much more effective than it has been the last few years. That’s an important task that I’m up for.”

Upon deciding, David made his first call to his wife Lara, an attorney/litigator on the board for the Legal Aid Society. “She was very supportive. I couldn’t be in this line of work without a good support network.”

Outside his family, there’s no shortage of support or perception that Buchwald has earned this candidacy. Prior to his stint in the State Assembly, Buchwald served in local government, as a member of the White Plains Common Council, where he represented the entire city population of 57,000. He has also worked in support of municipalities throughout the State as a member of the Local Governments Committee of the New York State Assembly.

Since announcing, grassroots activists have already begun rallying on his behalf, and numerous and enthusiastic endorsements have been forthcoming including those from White Plains Mayor Tom Roach, North Castle Town Mayor Michael Michael Schiliro, Mount Kisco Mayor Gina Picinich, Rye Town Supervisor Gary Zuckerman, and New Castle Town Supervisor-Elect Ivy Pool.

Said Schiliro: “Throughout his career, Assemblyman Buchwald has been a responsive and trusted ally, as we’ve worked together to save taxpayers money, improve our libraries, and serve the people of North Castle I know he will be ready to undo the damage done at the federal level. David will be a leader we can count on in Congress.”

Pool expressed her pride in endorsing Buchwald commenting to me that “David is a tireless advocate on local issues, while also championing our shared values. He is smart, creative, and industrious, and I know he will continue to work hard on behalf of his constituents as our Congressman. David is a worthy successor to Congresswoman Nita Lowey who has been a friend to New Castle, and an inspiration to so many.”

David Buchwald with Amelia and Anna
PHOTO BY Grace Bennett/InsidePress

2. His two adorable preschoolers, together with Lara, too, are the lights of his life; plus, they make him cognizant of enhancing quality of life for all of his constituents. At the time of the interview, Anna, 4, and Amelia, 2 were outside playing with the family nanny. Post our conversation, I fell hard for their infectious smiles and unsolicited hugs.

“I love seeing life through their eyes… Also, If you are trying to create a brighter future for them, it means a brighter future for everyone. There may be things Lara and I can do individually for them, but there are things–like climate change–that we need to do together for everyone…

“Hopefully every child who grows up here in the Hudson Valley has access to all the amazing things in this area. One of the big challenges for any representative in this area is maintaining affordability for families. He hopes to see their children “stick around and come back after college.

Robust employers are looking to relocate where young professionals live, he noted, adding that he would promote the county’s transit system to attract those employers. “I used to live two blocks from White Plains train station. There’s not many places outside New York City that you can live without a car!”

He called Lara his “Number 1 advisor. She makes sure I stay level-headed. I like to think I don’t get too full of myself; she’s someone I draw inspiration from–an accomplished professional in her own right, and a passionate advocate for legal representation.”

3. He plans to hit the ground running and keep his door open. As he nears a 10-year anniversary of public service, Buchwald encourages residents to look closely at his record. “No issue is too small. My door is always open–if a constituent wants to connect with me, we always try to make that happen quickly.”

He said that he believes his constituents have viewed him as “always present, always paying attention…. I think that’s crucial to establish for this congressional race. Traffic willing, part of my goal in the campaign is to be everywhere my schedule allows.”

4. He expressed a commitment to building on the work and skills he has already brought to the table. “We will continue to fight for the environment, for a woman’s right to choose, and will make sure we bring resources to help those who are struggling to make ends meet…. I will put forward my vantage point as a tax attorney by trade to try to significantly improve and do right by those undermined by a Republican Congress and Trump’s SALT reduction. He said adjustments need to be made in recognition that the cost of living here is higher.

5. He will continue to wage battle against the gun violence epidemic. “It’s one of my main issues and what I ran on. I will try to bring my record of success in New York State to bear at the Federal level. The first vote I cast as a State Assemblyman was for the New York SAFE Act* which I co-sponsored. I have no doubt it has saved lives in New York.

He said he backed it up by a series of measures including expanding background checks and preventing “ghost guns…” “Common sense safety measures have been stymied despite that most Americans support them. We’re getting to the point where New York State can only control so much because so much is tied to out of state…”

6. He aims to make it harder for any top government official in New York, including Trump, to hide their tax returns. Buchwald noted that he gained particular notoriety for a successful push, he explained, to adopt a law allowing the sharing of the New York State tax returns of top government officials, a law which Donald Trump is now suing to block.

He elaborated: “The law says New York State has a copy of tax returns of every filer in the state and that Trump as a New York state resident files his income tax returns. We already share those returns with the IRS, with tax departments in dozens of other states, so we said: “Let’s have that same sort of cooperation with our federal counterparts in Congress. So we passed my bill, and it’s now law, and Trump is suing to overturn that law. A New York motion to dismiss the case is pending…. I’ve always believed that open transparent government can make for better decision making.”

7. He will fight to protect a woman’s right to choose. “No matter what happens at the Supreme Court level, women in our region can have confidence that their rights will be protected. But, at the Federal level: there is an ongoing battle over basic principles that we’ve assumed for decades won’t have government interference–that we won’t make access to healthcare dependent on financial wherewithal. It’s very disheartening to think that means equates with health care; it’s antithetical to the right of a woman to consult with a doctor and make up her own mind.”

8. He will speak out against racism, hate and anti-Semitism. “I think Trump has tried to govern by division and the great thing about the United States is that we are a country that at our best brings people together from so many different backgrounds, and that creates a society that is stronger than any one group of individuals can create on their own. We have a lot of work to do to bring the country together.” He said he’d like to see a government “that does not use the Justice Department to undermine freedoms, or the Department of Homeland Security to tear homes apart. We need to ensure we have leaders who lead by example.”

“My role as an elected official now, and hopefully in the future, is to bring people together. We have great towns and cities with shared experiences that can be built on. If you try to pit one part of a community against another, that turns very dangerous very quickly. We’re seeing that with racism, with anti-Semitism… So, that’s part of why I’ve spoken up at any opportunity to denounce hatred and say that a threat to any one individual or community is a threat to all.”

9. As has been Nita Lowey’s long established commitment, he too will support Israel. “I’m a strong supporter of Israel and a progressive. To me, those things go hand in hand. We have to support our friends around the world who stand for those values we support as Americans. That includes democracy and basic notions of tolerance. Israel is a country that welcomes refugees. It used to be that America was also known for that. My wife and I serve on a refugee committee at our synagogue to help sponsor a family where the father/husband served as an interpreter for our troops overseas. A legal immigrant is what a refugee is: admitted under the law. To see Trump cutting back on legal immigration strikes me as going against the core of what our country should be about.

“It’s important for the United States to push for peace and stability in the Middle East and support the ability of Israel and Palestinians and other Arab neighbors to work through long established issues. Those who would seek to have the United States abandon their best ally in the region undermine the best aspects of Progressivism which recognizes the innate worth of people being able to make self-determining decisions.”

10. His Judaism shapes his general outlook and encourages him to fight against corruption. “I am cognizant that my religion teaches me to be humble in light of the fact that there are things in this world we can’t control. And that’s certainly true of campaigns. But if you put your best foot forward and determine you’re in it for the right reasons, there are people who will back you up. I find that very gratifying. I couldn’t have gone to Albany and affected change there without having people who have my back. I had to fight people who wanted to maintain the status quo and was lucky to have constituents who sent me there precisely to shake things up, namely, to strip corrupt officials of their pensions.* They said it couldn’t be done, and now it’s the law of the land. You can only engage when you have a sense that there’s a purpose. I like to think my religion supports that. My grandfather was a rabbi. I like to think he’d be proud of that.”

*Editor’s Note: This article conveys highlights of a conversation with our hometown legislator. Buchwald is a single candidate in the race with a number of new candidates vying for the spot too since the time of this writing. For additional information about any of Buchwald’s legislation mentioned here, or about his new campaign, from his perspective too, please visit DavidBuchwaldforCongress.com.

B-Ball for Breast Cancer: Mitzvah Project Becomes Annual Event

April 20, 2019 by Gabi Goldenberg

My freshman year of high school, my mom was diagnosed with breast cancer. Because of annual imaging, her cancer was caught at an early stage and today she is cancer free. My brother Ben was in 7th grade at the time, and for his Bar Mitzvah project, wanted to help those less fortunate get the same kind of screenings our mom got. So, he created a 3 on 3 basketball tournament with a $25 fee to play, all proceeds going to Northern Westchester Hospital and their various cancer programs. We emailed friends and family, and the response we received was truly incredible. In the end, the tournament was a huge success and raised over $18,000!

Our family decided to make this an annual event. The 3rd annual “B-Ball for Boobs” tournament was on March 24th, at Horace Greeley High School and it was heartwarming to see after three years, the continuous support from our community. To date, we have raised over $40,000. We look forward to hosting this tournament for years to come!

Local Residents Help with the Refugee Crisis & Resettlement Needs

April 18, 2019 by Anna Young

Four years ago, a photo of a Syrian boy’s lifeless body washed up along the Turkish shore went viral and enlightened so many to the plight refugees succumb just to have freedom, peace and safety.

The three-year-old boy, who was one of 12 Syrians who drowned in the Mediterranean Sea attempting to reach the Greek Island of Kos, encapsulated the determination and desperation refugees experience trying to escape the horror and danger they were born into.

That photo served as a catalyst for several residents and organizations throughout Westchester County to work together to support refugees overseas and aid in integrating and assimilating them as they sought refuge in the United States.

Armonk resident Jackie Tarascio said she was shocked by the image and felt an urgency to help refugees in anyway.

“When I saw it, I just felt like I had to do something. It was an awful image of these refugees seeking freedom,” Tarascio said. “It’s easy to go to dinner with your friends and have a day-to-day life, and then you become aware of what’s going on and you feel guilty for spending $5 on coffee, having a home, wearing a jacket or travelling through a border. These people can’t even cross a border to get to safety.”

Wanting to help those in need, Tarascio searched through social media for groups devoted to connecting refugees and volunteers, eventually joining several private groups on Facebook that serve both local families and those overseas. It’s a networking team that has been built up over the years and you learn the people you can trust, she said.

Tarascio noted many instances where her volunteerism assisted someone resettle locally, find a job, or acquire a doctor to perform an essential surgery overseas, adding that each individual and family is grateful to receive support. But while Tarascio is fortunate to help so many, she said it’s a highly emotional circumstance where some cases simply can’t be solved.

“Sometimes you need to come to terms with a family being unable to get out of their situation,” Tarascio said. “It’s a burden you expect, and it’s a weight on your shoulders and an awareness of what is happening. It took me seeing a news report to want to know more but if I can help get someone a stroller it’s heartwarming.”

Chappaqua resident Mary Refling, who started the Westchester Refugee Task Force in 2015, said she became aware of the violence in Syria after seeing the graphic photo in church one day. After learning there wasn’t a resettlement agency in Westchester, she said it was time to step up to the plate and help those seeking asylum.

“Most of the people in our group feel this real strong connection to this sense of civic responsibility that we are here and the privileges we enjoy as American citizens are due in part to our grandparents and our parents,” Refling said, noting how difficult it is for people to leave their life, and sometimes families behind, to emigrate to the United States with almost nothing. “We just feel like someone did this for us so it’s our turn to make it possible for the new generation of immigrants.”

Kathie O’Callaghan, president and founder of Hearts & Homes For Refugees (HHFR), felt similar discouragement after she launched her non-profit grassroots humanitarian group in 2015. O’Callaghan collaborated with several civic groups and faith-based coalitions to create the Westchester Refugee Initiative to broaden the scope of work they could do to resettle refugees. In the last two years, she said her organization has resettled 12 cases, or 100 individuals.

While O’Callaghan and Refling are proud of the work they are doing, both noted that the Trump Administration has made every effort to prevent refugees from seeking asylum in the United States. According to statistics from the U.S. Department of State, the number of new refugees in New York decreased from a high of 5,026 in 2016 to 1,281 in 2018.

With the number of refugees decreasing, O’Callaghan said her organization is focused on supporting recently resettled immigrants, citing that many of them have particular needs and run into obstacles as they integrate into the community. “The US has always been the country people look up to, and we’re not going to model the current behavior that this country has shown,” O’Callaghan said. “We’re not going to save the world by resettling refugees but it’s important that we make sure that we do our part. We’re not going to disappear.”