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traditions

A Slice of Americana…Revisited

February 18, 2021 by Daniel Levitz

Finding Joy and Experiencing Hope in the Traditions and Continuity of Suburban Living

“I think an artist like Norman Rockwell would have done just fine here, inspiration-wise.”

I am writing this a day after the wonderful Presidential inauguration. When we moved out of the City years ago there was a “red” administration in Washington followed by a “blue” one and so on and so forth as the years flew by. With the hellacious year of 2020 now behind us, politics aside, as a nation we are all looking forward to meaningful change and progress. 

I’ve written here frequently about the cul-de-sac where we live. It doesn’t look or feel particularly different from year to year. Sure, we now have a sidewalk encouraging pedestrian activity, but otherwise there’s a reassuring steadiness to life here which helps folks carry on in such a fraught time while we await and long for better days.

When we moved into our yellow house we had no idea that life in the cul-de-sac would end up being a self-replicating slice of Americana. A lot of this bucolic suburban existence, at first glance, might appear mundane. 

However, within the semi-chaotic day-to-day lives most families with small children experience, a comforting repetition feels essential and sometimes beautiful. In other words, I think an artist like Norman Rockwell would have done just fine here, inspiration-wise.

Upon moving here, I was immediately struck by a simple act by our new next door neighbors. A knock on the door and a warm loaf of fresh-baked homemade bread was hand delivered as a means of introduction and welcome. Laurie and I were taken with this simple but lovely gesture and, for a minute, it calmed the turmoil of leaving apartment living in the city and starting over with our two still very young children. Even better, our new next door neighbors became dear friends. 

When those same next door neighbors moved to another state a few years ago it felt like the end of an era. Sometimes proximity is a fine ingredient for relationships. The warm feelings would carry on but, no doubt, things would be different. 

Upon reflection, these neighbors leaving cul-de-sac were just one domino in the chain. In fact, in the last several years literally every house next to ours or in close proximity has seen new families move in. It feels astounding to note that without even realizing it, almost in a blink of an eye, we went from the new kids on the block to the seasoned neighbors who are newer counterparts to turn to for guidance.  

With all families now enduring pandemic living, life in the cul-de-sac is far more remote than in previous years. It is nice to see people on walks even even with their face masks. You can tell they are still smiling with a wave and a hello. In this environment, it’s still the connection we need.

Embracing the Constants

Significantly comforting too are the ‘constants’, the steady reliable features of suburban living. The bus stop right in front of our house initially served as an introduction to the neighborhood. Kids meeting kids and us meeting other parents and caretakers. That daily interaction was not only socially meaningful but threw us into neighborhood circulation in an organic, no looking back manner.  

Now, with our children years past using the bus stop, there are new families with their kids waiting for the bus. That annual continuity, along with remembering the feeling of being part of it, is a sweet confirmation that however life may evolve, there are certain foundational pieces one can always rely upon.

Within the first few weeks of moving here there was a block party in the cul-de-sac. At that moment, for me, it felt like a mildly hokey social obligation and facing it as a new family just felt difficult. My sometimes panicky neuroticism aside, more thoughtful voices endured, and we went. It turned out to be a very enjoyable and bonding time–a fine tradition.

We had similar neighborhood parties over the years, but not since most of the new families have landed here. As we approach almost a full year of pandemic living, I’m looking forward to the old normal, like a block party that right now, is just impossible. Odd to be looking towards an event that will manage to be a tradition and a change simultaneously. Hopefully before long.

Filed Under: Inside Thoughts Tagged With: Americana, Essay, etcetera, Norman Rockwell, Suburbs, traditions

A Search for Joy in ‘Something New’

November 13, 2020 by Jennifer Sabin Poux

Contemplating the Holidays Without My Extended Family

One of my brothers-in-law recently noted that the lack of family gatherings over the last seven months has thrown off his internal calendar. We have a large extended family–and it’s the celebrations and gatherings with those relatives that help mark the passage of time and distinguish one week, one month, one season from another.

If ever there was a time that we could benefit from the rhythm and joy of family gatherings, it’s now. And yet, if ever there was a time that we could benefit from staying away from each other, it’s now.

In past years: The author’s extended family at Christmas

So, what to do with the holidays? In normal years, we would host anywhere from 20 to 30-something on Thanksgiving and Christmas Eve. Our mid-century modern house isn’t huge, but its open floor plan allows everyone to be together in the same space whether cooking or engrossed in conversation. On Thanksgiving, we drag extra tables and chairs up from the garage, and each individual family contributes dishes and their labor to the effort. On Christmas, the base of the tree is smothered in gifts we exchange through Secret Santa and a hilarious Yankee Swap. I love watching the cousins of my children’s generation curl up together on our wraparound sofa like one long genetic sequence.

We are lucky: there is no embarrassing drunk uncle disrupting dinner. I am lucky: I never feel burdened by the toll of the work because there are so many hands offering help. If it sounds nauseatingly civilized, I suppose it is. I embrace the winter holidays with a passion that would provoke eye rolling among cynics, an association to which I belong the other ten months of the year.

This year with the pandemic still raging and travel fraught with peril, some of our family members are spread far enough away that they might as well live on another planet. My daughter, who just graduated from college in May, will be spending Thanksgiving in Alaska where she currently lives, returning for a week or two at Christmas. My son, a sophomore in college, is not allowed to come home for Thanksgiving unless he stays here through Christmas and winter break. So, we will be empty nesters for the first time ever at Thanksgiving. My sister recently moved to Green Bay, Wisconsin, to be with her daughter. I have two sisters-in-law who, with their families, live flights away, one in Europe. They haven’t seen any of their siblings (there are seven) or their ninety-three-year-old dad in nearly a year.

We’ve had a few conversations about the possibility of mini gatherings of six-ten. We’ve also considered the question, could Thanksgiving be held outdoors? We bought a restaurant-grade deck heater that could warm a handful of guests. But what if it rains or snows? We’re fortunate that our kids will be able to return home for Christmas. But because one will have been on a plane, the other on campus, we will likely stay clear of our extended family in December.

None of this is tragic of course–we are healthy, for now. More intimate versions of yearly traditions are hardly a disaster. The upside: a reasonable size turkey, one less tray of stuffing and more in-depth conversation.

I’ve noticed that my family and friends are careful not to complain too much about their pandemic malaise, acutely aware of the kind of emotional, physical and economic suffering that plagues so much of the country. There is guilt attached to wallowing when others have it worse. But perhaps one holiday gift we can give ourselves and those in our orbit is the freedom to acknowledge how much this has impacted us–changed us–left us without many simple joys, like connecting over a turkey and stuffing, around a tree, or to light candles.

As anyone who has had a birthday in this pandemic season understands, our celebrations this holiday season will be different–or at least they should be. And while they will be stunted, we may find in them something new, and some familiar comfort in their rhythms and joy.

Filed Under: Inside Thoughts Tagged With: celebrations, Christmas, Covid Times, Extended Family, Family, family gatherings, gatherings, Gratitude, Holidays, Home for the Holidays, Secret Santa, thanksgiving, traditions

Thanksgiving Traditions

October 21, 2015 by The Inside Press

Volunteering, Shopping and Turkey OH MY!
By Heather Skolnick

Thanksgiving marks the beginning of the holiday season for many. Thanksgiving triggers autumnal images of softly falling leaves and a feeling of chill in the air–a sure sign of what’s to come weather-wise. It signals the beginning of the holiday shopping season for those in retail with a daily countdown to Christmas. And for many, it evokes memories of meals and unique traditions that encircle the meal. These Thanksgiving traditions can be pretty wide and varied.

As a child, my Thanksgiving traditions were pretty straight forward–extended family came to eat. And eat we did. We enjoyed turkey with the standard carbohydrate-laden fixings, and enough desserts to satisfy the sweet tooth of a small nation. The meal was not complete until we all suffered from indigestion–all before 7 p.m. It was what we did before the meal that was different. Each year, my father and I awoke earlier than most on a holiday, put on sweats, and took a short drive to a neighboring town. We then participated in a local “Turkey Trot”–a five mile run in an attempt to help offset the meal we’d be eating a few hours later. That was our tradition.

My husband’s family didn’t believe in the “Turkey Trot”–instead, Thanksgiving was all about football. Neal, his brothers, cousins, dads and friends all got together to play a serious game of touch football. The colder, wetter and muddier it was outside, the better the game. While their game would end before dinner, the trash talking around that game could last an entire year. Area resident and brother Lyle said, “We would even keep track of records, from most touchdowns, consecutive games with a reception, best play, to worst mistake, and most times ‘giving in’!” Building on the football theme, after playing, they would all return home and begin watching the football games on TV before indulging in their meal.

Other Thanksgiving traditions abound as well. The annual Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade is, of course, available to one and all on TV. However, heading in to the city to watch it “live” is a popular tradition for some in our area. From seeing the balloons to watching the performers, the parade route is packed with onlookers of all ages.

Signaling the official start of the holiday shopping season, Black Friday shopping has long been a tradition for some. Amazing short-lived deals often abound on that day, with stores opening early and staying open late. Eager to squeeze an extra shopping day in before the holidays, shopping on Thursday evening has more recently become another (albeit, controversial) option. Many big-box retailers and shopping centers are now open for post-dinner shopping.

turkey paradeKatonah mom Samantha Holcman and her family spend their Thanksgiving doing a little bit of each of these things. They start celebrating at the Thanksgiving Parade. Samantha said, “It’s such an exciting, iconic way to spend the holiday and so easy for local New Yorkers…my kids love it and we love to watch the parade through their reactions.” Later, the Holcman family dines back in Westchester at one of our fabulous local restaurants, choosing a different restaurant each year. Lastly, Samantha’s husband Brad and his mother go shopping and scour stores for bargains, sometimes not returning until 10 a.m. the next day! Of shopping Thursday night, Samantha said, “For people that like a deal, it’s a unique and very fun experience.”

Volunteering is a wonderful way to enjoy the spirit of Thanksgiving while enjoying some quality family time. One option is to spend part of the day together, helping to provide a meal for others. Neighbor’s Link coordinates a food drive in anticipation of the holiday. On the actual day, they provide a full Thanksgiving meal and a full bag of groceries to take home.

Armonk mom Abby Hollander will be doing just that. She, along with her family, will be serving Thanksgiving meals in coordination with local religious affiliates. Abby decided to begin volunteering on Thanksgiving because “I thought it was really important as my son turns five this December to expose him to those less fortunate and show him what he can do to help. “ She continued, “We want to teach him to appreciate and be thankful for what he has. We really want him to see how he can help make the world a better place.  It’s a tough concept to explain to such a young child so we hope by showing him and participating he will also feel proud that he helped even in a small way.”

The common theme threaded through all of these traditions can clearly be identified as spending quality time together as a family and/or with those who are most important to you. So whether you are a traditionalist in your Thanksgiving approach or not, let’s remember that Thanksgiving is about being surrounded by those who are important to you and appreciating the moment.

Heather Skolnick is a New Castle resident with her husband and three young children. They will be enjoying their Thanksgiving holiday surrounded by family and food, with a little football mixed in.

Filed Under: Armonk Cover Stories Tagged With: celebration, Family, Holidays, Inside Press, thanksgiving, theinsidepress.com, traditions

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