• Skip to primary navigation
  • Skip to main content
  • Skip to primary sidebar
  • Skip to footer

The Inside Press

Magazines serving the communities of Northern Westchester

  • Home
  • Advertise
    • Advertise in One or All of our Magazines
    • Advertising Payment Form
  • Print Subscription
  • Digital Subscription
    • Subscribe
    • Subscriber Login
  • Contact Us

Covid Times

A Search for Joy in ‘Something New’

November 13, 2020 by Jennifer Sabin Poux

Contemplating the Holidays Without My Extended Family

One of my brothers-in-law recently noted that the lack of family gatherings over the last seven months has thrown off his internal calendar. We have a large extended family–and it’s the celebrations and gatherings with those relatives that help mark the passage of time and distinguish one week, one month, one season from another.

If ever there was a time that we could benefit from the rhythm and joy of family gatherings, it’s now. And yet, if ever there was a time that we could benefit from staying away from each other, it’s now.

In past years: The author’s extended family at Christmas

So, what to do with the holidays? In normal years, we would host anywhere from 20 to 30-something on Thanksgiving and Christmas Eve. Our mid-century modern house isn’t huge, but its open floor plan allows everyone to be together in the same space whether cooking or engrossed in conversation. On Thanksgiving, we drag extra tables and chairs up from the garage, and each individual family contributes dishes and their labor to the effort. On Christmas, the base of the tree is smothered in gifts we exchange through Secret Santa and a hilarious Yankee Swap. I love watching the cousins of my children’s generation curl up together on our wraparound sofa like one long genetic sequence.

We are lucky: there is no embarrassing drunk uncle disrupting dinner. I am lucky: I never feel burdened by the toll of the work because there are so many hands offering help. If it sounds nauseatingly civilized, I suppose it is. I embrace the winter holidays with a passion that would provoke eye rolling among cynics, an association to which I belong the other ten months of the year.

This year with the pandemic still raging and travel fraught with peril, some of our family members are spread far enough away that they might as well live on another planet. My daughter, who just graduated from college in May, will be spending Thanksgiving in Alaska where she currently lives, returning for a week or two at Christmas. My son, a sophomore in college, is not allowed to come home for Thanksgiving unless he stays here through Christmas and winter break. So, we will be empty nesters for the first time ever at Thanksgiving. My sister recently moved to Green Bay, Wisconsin, to be with her daughter. I have two sisters-in-law who, with their families, live flights away, one in Europe. They haven’t seen any of their siblings (there are seven) or their ninety-three-year-old dad in nearly a year.

We’ve had a few conversations about the possibility of mini gatherings of six-ten. We’ve also considered the question, could Thanksgiving be held outdoors? We bought a restaurant-grade deck heater that could warm a handful of guests. But what if it rains or snows? We’re fortunate that our kids will be able to return home for Christmas. But because one will have been on a plane, the other on campus, we will likely stay clear of our extended family in December.

None of this is tragic of course–we are healthy, for now. More intimate versions of yearly traditions are hardly a disaster. The upside: a reasonable size turkey, one less tray of stuffing and more in-depth conversation.

I’ve noticed that my family and friends are careful not to complain too much about their pandemic malaise, acutely aware of the kind of emotional, physical and economic suffering that plagues so much of the country. There is guilt attached to wallowing when others have it worse. But perhaps one holiday gift we can give ourselves and those in our orbit is the freedom to acknowledge how much this has impacted us–changed us–left us without many simple joys, like connecting over a turkey and stuffing, around a tree, or to light candles.

As anyone who has had a birthday in this pandemic season understands, our celebrations this holiday season will be different–or at least they should be. And while they will be stunted, we may find in them something new, and some familiar comfort in their rhythms and joy.

Filed Under: Inside Thoughts Tagged With: celebrations, Christmas, Covid Times, Extended Family, Family, family gatherings, gatherings, Gratitude, Holidays, Home for the Holidays, Secret Santa, thanksgiving, traditions

Primary Sidebar

Recent Posts

  • Holocaust Survivor Helga Luden Relates her Story of Escape, Rescue and Survival
  • Four Winters Shines a Light on the Bravery of World War II Survivors Among the 25,000 Jewish Partisans
  • $86K State Grant Awarded to 2023 Phoenix Festival Signals Growing Focus on Tourism
  • Scarsdale Music Festival Gearing Up for a June 3rd Event: Sponsorships, Performers and Vendors Sought
  • Governor Hochul Urges: SHOP SMALL to Help Small Businesses Which Make Up 98% of New York State’s Economy
  • Chappaqua’s Always Magical HOLIDAY STROLL on December 3rd: Ice Sculpting, Tree Lighting, Horace Greeley Encords… and More!

Please Visit

White Plains Hospital
Boys & Girls Club
Compass: Goldman and Herman
Compass: Generic
Desires by Mikolay
William Raveis – Chappaqua
William Raveis – Armonk
Dodd’s Wine Shop
Houlihan Lawrence – Armonk
Houlihan Lawrence – Chappaqua
Lumagica Enchanged Forest
Compass: Miller-Goldenberg Team
Compass: Natalia Wixom
Eye Designs of Armonk
Stacee Massoni
Club Fit
Beecher Flooks Funeral Home
Houlihan: Kile Boga-Ibric
NYOMIS – Dr. Andrew Horowitz
Houlihan Lawrence: Harriet Libov
World Cup Gymnastics
Compass: David Braham
Breathe Pilates and Yoga
Houlihan Lawrence – Rusminka Rose Jakaj
Sir Speedy Pleasantville

Follow our Social Media

The Inside Press

Our Latest Issues

For a full reading of our current edition, or to obtain a copy or subscription, please contact us.

Inside Chappaqua Inside Armonk Inside Pleasantville

Join Our Mailing List


Search Inside Press

Links

  • Advertise
  • Contact Us
  • Digital Subscription
  • Print Subscription

Footer

Support The Inside Press

Advertising

Print Subscription

Digital Subscription

Categories

Archives

Subscribe

Did you know you can subscribe anytime to our print editions?

Voluntary subscriptions are most welcome, if you've moved outside the area, or a subscription is a great present idea for an elderly parent, for a neighbor who is moving or for your graduating high school student or any college student who may enjoy keeping up with hometown stories.

Subscribe Today

Copyright © 2023 The Inside Press, Inc. · Log in