Gratitude

A Reflection on 9/11 and the Gratitude that Fills Me

October 22, 2017 by The Inside Press

The 9/11 ceremony at Gedney Park was well attended
PHOTO BY STACEY PFEFFER

By Rev. Dr. Martha R. Jacobs

As I was walking up the path towards the 9/11 commemoration in Gedney Park this year, I mused to myself that this was the fourth year I was participating. I remembered the first time I arrived for the ceremony. I had been at the First Congregational Church (FCC) for about three weeks, had been asked to participate (I guess because I was “new” to the community), and when I got out of my car, not knowing anyone and not even knowing where to go, there was Robin Stout, one of my congregants and a Town Board member, seemingly waiting to greet me. He took me up the hill and introduced me to just about everyone involved. At the time, I didn’t remember their names, and had no clue that I would be getting so involved in this community. I was so grateful for Robin’s presence with me.

I had been a volunteer chaplain at Ground Zero for several months following the events of that awful morning, had spoken at several conferences in the years following about my work at Ground Zero and my time as President of the New York Disaster Interfaith Services. But I was now in a new community that, for the most part, had no idea of my history and connection to 9/11. Being asked to participate in that ceremony meant more to me than most people realized. I was so grateful to have been asked.

Local Boy Scouts salute the flag at the 9/11 ceremony
PHOTO BY STACEY PFEFFER

And, now, four years later, I am still being asked to participate.

I knew where I was going and was greeted by so many people, both first responders and members of the wider community and it filled my heart with gratitude. I remain thankful for the opportunity to pause every year to remember those who gave their lives, those who lost their lives and those who continue to struggle with health issues as a result of coming to the rescue of those who were trapped and those who died, as they sought to find the remains of those who died, so that families could have proper burials. And, I pause to remember those police and firefighters and construction workers with whom I sat and talked, and listened to, and cried with and prayed for. And I remember those with whom I walked to the cross that had been found among the rubble of the buildings, that had been placed on a piece of cement for those workers who needed to see a symbol of hope and grace amidst the immense devastation and loss of human life. At the time, there was no explanation as to what happened and why it happened. I will never forget the sounds, the smells and the sights of walking into the wreckage and seeing that metal cross, which also helped me to find the courage to be there with these brave men and women.

My life has been forever changed, forever scarred and forever filled with gratitude for those who put their own lives on the line in order to try to make a difference for those whose loved ones died on that tragic morning. It changed our lives and theirs forever.

Being a part of FCC has changed me forever as well. So has being a part of this community whether through offering prayers at community events at the pagoda, during the Memorial Day commemoration, working with the school district on ensuring the safety of our children, or talking with people at Community Day. I am filled with gratitude that God has called me to serve this community at such a time as this.

Rev. Dr. Martha R. Jacobs is the Senior Minister at the First Congregational Church in Chappaqua.

Thank You Cards to Hillary Clinton

December 5, 2016 by Inside Press

An Ongoing Courtesy from the King Street Salon

Article and Photo by Grace Bennett

When the cards began to arrive for Hillary Clinton from all over the country—“from Washington State to Indiana to Pennsylvania”–Ann Styles Brochstein and Carolyn Filancia-Vento knew they had struck a chord with their post Election effort.

hill-cards-ann-carolyn — Ann Styles Brochstein (left) and Carolyn Filancia-Vento inside the King Street Salon in Chappaqua following a delivery of some 200 cards expressing gratitude to Hillary Clinton.

Ann had posted and tweeted from her popular local Hillary advocacy blog–Chappaqua 4 Clinton/Kaine(now called Left of Main Street on Facebook and on Twitter @Neighbors4Hill) and on the Facebook “Pantsuits Nation” page that a collection was underway for thank you cards to Hillary Clinton during the harrowing first few days after the election was called to Donald Trump.

“I felt so lost and devastated after the election; I wanted to do something,” said Ann, who together with Chappaqua’s Cynthia Metcalf produces Left of Main Street. “I asked Carolyn if we could drop off at or mail to the King Street Salon, and she said yes.”

“Until about eight months before the election,” Carolyn noted, “I was a Republican. I finally realized I could never vote for that man.” She described Ann as ‘the catalyst’ for her change of heart during long conversations together. Ann is a regular customer. “After those, I started to also love Hillary.”

Town Supervisor Robert Greenstein cordially helped make arrangements for delivery, and to date, about 200 cards have been delivered to the Clinton household.

Collections for cards will continue until Christmas too. Anyone who wishes to send a card to Hillary Clinton in her hometown, may mail to or drop off at this location: King Street Salon, 229 King Street #2 Chappaqua, NY 10514

A Thank-you to Hillary Clinton for Fighting for Our Future & Giving Us Hope

December 1, 2016 by Lindsay Hand

Viewpoint from our Author Reflects on Many a Millennial’s Hope for America

The past year has been long, exhausting, dispiriting, and difficult. Women and minorities have repeatedly felt victimized and attacked in ways that most of us thought–at least hoped were disappearing from our society. But in the midst of endless insults and hatred, there was hope, togetherness, and an intense desire for continued progress as a nation. Those lights in the darkness were thanks to a campaign run on the platform of being “Stronger Together.” Thanks to former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton, there was and is hope in a seemingly hopeless time.

I have been “with her” for a long time, and that will not change now. But it is not just because she is a woman; I am still with her because she fights for the good in our country and believes in the potential of each and every one of us–even those who do not trust her or voted against her–to be positive agents of change and progress and contribute productively to society. I know Hillary is not perfect; no politician or person is, no matter their actions, beliefs, party loyalties, or rhetoric. It is impossible to satisfy everyone, and it is also impossible to never make mistakes. But it cannot be denied that Hillary Clinton has spent decades of her life dedicated to bettering society and in constant devotion to public service.

Indeed, Hillary has always fought for young people and for the future. She has focused on social issues, something so many millennials are distinctly passionate about. As seen from a map circulating the internet following Election Day, young people aged 18-25 overwhelmingly voted “blue” because they believe in the same things Hillary and the Democratic Party do.
From being an instrumental part of the Children’s Defense Fund to protecting 9/11 First Responders to her groundbreaking statement “human rights are women’s rights, and women’s rights are human rights,” Hillary has played an important part in bringing crucial, necessary, and timely issues into the national spotlight.

Hillary has advocated for early education, sensible gun control, affordable healthcare and college, fair and equal wages, combating climate change, justice, unity, and progress, amongst countless other things. She believes in the rights of women and minorities and in equality. In hope. In the inherent goodness of all of us. Despite how the election unfolded, I still believe in these things, as does much of my generation.

Hillary believes in us. She always has. Now is the time to take the intelligence, class, and dignity she has shown and use it to drive our fight for what’s right and for the good that does exist in our country. As my 17-year-old sister, Gillian, posted on Facebook: “We must look to the future and come together, strong and united. We must fight for what we believe in. We must embrace one another with acceptance, camaraderie, and love.” We must follow the example Hillary has set and continue to push for what we believe in. She has fought tirelessly for us and for the things we care about, and now it is our turn to take action.

Hillary with Lindsay (right) and Gillan Hand

It is now up to us, the generation of the future, to continue the fights Secretary Clinton has fought for so long. Thank you, Hillary, for continuing the fight and inspiring so many, myself included. Thank you for constantly working for the future and for pushing our nation towards progress and equality. Thank you for being a role model for millions of young girls and women who, because of you, believe they can do great things, even run for President. Thank you for starting us on a path to fighting for what we believe in. Thank you for your wisdom, grace, sincerity and strength in the face of endless adversity. Thank you for making history. Truly, thank you for everything.

“I still believe as deeply as I ever have that if we stand together and work together with respect for our differences, strength in our convictions and love for this nation, our best days are still ahead of us.” – Hillary Clinton

Two-time Inside Chappaqua Guest Editor Lindsay Hand is a junior Communication major at Cornell University.

Graceful Gratitude

October 21, 2016 by Inside Press

By Grace Bennett

I recently started a “Mindfulness Boot Camp” with Jodi Baretz, whose etcetera column in this edition is an excellent reflection on gratitude. I’m not sure I can add more value on the subject than Jodi, but interesting to note: Jodi explained to our group that feeling grateful may not come naturally at all.

In fact, she said that us humans harbor a “negativity bias,” meaning we’re more likely to focus on the one negative aspect of say, a vacation, than on the many positive aspects of the experience. Similarly, in relationships, one negative experience can cast a shadow on an overall positive pairing, or one annoying personality trait might be your obsessive focus on an otherwise wonderful person.

As my mom might have put it, people like to kvetch…a lot. Seems we have to practice being more mindful about feeling grateful! So I’m going to share just a few things I’m feeling grateful for today:

To fresh starts, professionally speaking. Like the redesign of this magazine. Chappaqua’s Lisa Samkoff came on board to give our Inside pubs a more contemporary look. We hope you agree that it has been a successful effort. Grateful for other key support from Caroline Rosengarden and Andrew Vitelli, and for all our contributors and of course, sponsors, to each edition.

The exciting new theatre productions underway at the Horace Greeley Theater Company. Rehearsals are underway for ‘Into the Woods,” directed by Jonathan Gellert. Tickets are on sale for the Nov. 17-19 performances. For more information, visit
Cast members of “Into the Woods”

http://www.greeleytheater.tix.com

To the power of the written word. I’m thrilled that seven courageous girls took time out this summer to express to the community at large their smart and passionate thoughts about the election while pondering their neighbor’s incredible journey. I’m grateful to Dr. Keri Walsh, who brought her writing program at the Greeley House this past summer to my attention.

My ‘get fit’ journey at the Saw Mill Club in Mount Kisco. I announced on Facebook recently that I’d gained too much weight over the last year. I’m grateful for the opportunity to train twice a week with a wonderfully engaging personal trainer, Sarah Eichorn. She’s making a huge difference in how I feel both physically and mentally in these empty nest years. The changes in how I look and feel are showing in little increments, and I’m embracing Sarah’s belief that a positive journey is as important to my well-being and long term success as any weight loss I experience. I’ll be writing more about this special experience in the next edition, too!

So, tell me. What are you grateful for? Maybe it too could be a story in a future edition of Inside Chappaqua. Write to editor@insidechappaqua.com.

An Attitude of Gratitude

October 21, 2016 by Jodi Baretz, LCSW, CHHC

By Jodi Baretz

“If we are not grateful for what we have, what makes us think we’d be happy with more?” Being charged with writing an article on gratitude I was forced to think about what I am truly grateful for, and what I could possibly write about on this topic. Of course, I’m grateful for the obvious things, the ‘big things.’ I’m grateful for my loving family, my supportive friends and my growing private practice. However, I think it’s just as important to recognize the ordinary moments in daily life, the little things.

I can recall a moment when my kids were small and I was bringing them for haircuts, which was not an easy task. Once I finally got them into the car, my two precious children proceeded to fight as per usual. As I was driving and listening to this free for all in the back seat, I would occasionally interrupt with a “stop it” or “enough already!”

When that didn’t seem to be effective, I started getting annoyed, and then for some reason, amidst all the noise and frustration, I just gave up. As I drove and the boys continued to yell, I just listened to them exchanging insults. I became amused by the banter instead of being annoyed with it. It struck me that these two little boys were not going to be young forever, and I realized how lucky I was to spend these precious moments with them. Suddenly, I made this major shift, a total reframe of the mind that filled me with gratitude.

Once you get the hang of the gratitude attitude, you can apply it to almost anything. Take a look at something small in your daily life. I just sat down to write this article after visiting Millwood Plaza, where I realized how lucky I am to live in this wonderful, supportive community–from the people I ran into who smiled and were helpful to the new businesses that are coming to town to make my life a little easier. Here are just a few examples:

I am so grateful that DeCicco’s is coming to Millwood. We have been without a supermarket for long enough, and I’m sure many of you feel my pain.

I am grateful that local businesses can still make it in this small hamlet, such as Drug Mart, Paradise Nails, the local dry cleaner and, of course, Dodd’s.

Last but not least, I am especially grateful for Tazza Cafe. There are many wonderful places in town that I frequent, but the Tazza in Millwood, is a truly special place to me. (I hear the one in Armonk is also a popular hotspot). I go there daily for my tea, but the best part is those who work there know my order, my name and always greet me with a hearty “Hi Jodi!” It’s like Cheers without the alcohol. In addition, I usually know at least three people there who are also getting their caffeine fix. Being a part of a small community makes me feel connected and supported.

Once you keep noticing these small things to be grateful for, your own shift will start to occur. It will become habit. You will feel happier, and that feeling is contagious. Practicing gratitude is one of the top indicators of happiness, in addition to having many other benefits. Besides improving emotional health, it can have a positive impact on you physically. People who are grateful experience less aches and pains, according to a 2012 study published in “Personality and Individual Differences.” Gratitude also improves your relationships, self-esteem, fosters empathy and decreases aggression. It helps you sleep better!

So, how do we cultivate this all-important skill? Gratitude does not have to only be after something huge, like getting a promotion, or having awesome kids, it can be as small as your morning coffee at your favorite cafe. Noticing the small moments and truly appreciating them will help change your mind. A gratitude journal is proven to be a great way to hone your skills, but if you’re like me, you won’t be taking the time to do that so often, so being mindful of what you are thankful for throughout the day definitely helps.

I love the idea of a gratitude jar, especially with kids. It involves writing what you are grateful for on a piece a paper and putting it into a jar and reading them when you are sad or at the end of the year to inspire you! Now if we can extend that attitude of gratitude all year, we will be happier, healthier individuals and as a community.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Jodi Baretz, LCSW, CHHC, is a psychotherapist, mindfulness and holistic health coach at The Center for Health and Healing in Mount Kisco. She lives in Millwood with her husband and two sons. She is also the founder of the program and upcoming book, Mindful is the New Skinny.