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Empty Nesters

It’s a Wonderful Life for Ian and Lauren Karr

April 2, 2021 by Ronni Diamondstein

Lauren and Ian Karr
PHOTO BY CAROLYN SIMPSON

Ian Karr, who grew up in White Plains, always thought he’d live in Chappaqua. Lauren, his wife, was a city girl who was never leaving the city. One day in 1997 Ian came home to their 52nd Street apartment to find Lauren with the Real Estate section of The New York Times. “I’m looking for houses in Chappaqua,” she told him not long after they had visited some friends who had moved up from the city. “It was a nesting thing,” says Ian. “We had a baby. She was six months old and we felt like we needed more space and a nice place to live.”

The Karr’s story is like many who find themselves living in the town. “We liked the location. It’s close enough to the city. It’s sophisticated but country,” says Ian. “One of the big factors is the great school system,” adds Lauren. “We’ve seen the full cycle in Chappaqua from pre-school, playgroups to empty nests.”

Twenty-four years later they are empty nesters. Their baby Jayden is now 24 years old and living in the city pursuing a career in eCommerce. Their son Gregory is a Junior at Syracuse University majoring in Finance and Real Estate.

Ian is an award-winning producer and director and the founder of IKA Collective a production company that celebrated its 35th anniversary on March 11th. Ian began his career on country radio stations in New Orleans and New York, but storytelling, photography and filmmaking were in his system since his childhood. He got his first production job in 1986 with Merrill Lynch. From Merrill Lynch he took on commercial clients in the late 90s doing promos for TV clients and then in the late 2000s original content and commercials. The company has grown to include such clients as the Hallmark Channel. “We do a lot of work with Hallmark Channel,” says Ian. “We do promos, behind the scenes for a majority of their movies, bonus content with stars, and we originated the podcasts. Hallmark is near and dear, and they are incredibly nice people.” Ian kept up his radio work and joined comedian Jackie Martling for the “Joke Hunt” on SiriusXM Radio for eight years.

Lauren had a career as a Print Broker and opened her own printing business which she had for ten years. When she fell in love with Pilates after Gregory was born in 2000, she was encouraged by her instructor Lesly Levy to become an instructor herself. Lauren is now a certified Pilates Trainer and Pilates Teacher Trainer. She has worked in several studios in Westchester and has been with Breathe Pilates & Yoga in Chappaqua nearly ten years. Helping people gives Lauren great satisfaction. “Most of my clients have some issue with their back or their spine. I feel good making them feel better and strengthened.”

Once Lauren embraced the suburban life, she became involved in the PTA. She ran the Westorchard Spring Fair for many years and continued to be involved with PTA when her children were at Seven Bridges Middle School and Horace Greeley High School. She took to gardening and planted a vegetable garden. Raising chickens was always on Lauren’s bucket list so she and Ian found some Pullets on Craig’s List and set up a coop in their backyard for several years. “It was a learning experience,” says Lauren. “And they loved me because I fed them.”

Skiing bonded the Karrs and it became a favorite family activity. Since 2003 they have gone out to Utah with the family. “We really loved the feeling, the vibe of it, the people, and all the people coming from all over to be there,” says Lauren.

A love of cars created a bond for Ian and his son Gregory. “When Greg was nine years old we restored a 1965 Mustang. I wanted a fun father-son activity. Little did I know it would unlock the inner mechanic in me,” says Ian. Ian brought the car to the Auto Center at Reader’s Digest to mechanic Stu Silverman. “Stu would put it on the lift and check my work. He was very encouraging through the process–a great mentor and neighbor helping neighbor.”

The Pandemic has impacted both their careers. For Ian there is a lot less travel. “Production is a team sport, it’s a hive. So we had to develop new protocols which allowed for collaboration at a distance. Once those were in place, it’s amazing how quickly our crews adapted.”

Lauren does virtual Pilates training now. “For me it’s great because I still have the connection with the clients. It’s different in that I can’t be there with them,” says Lauren. “It’s making the best of whatever the situation is. I’m still getting that level of satisfaction of making people feel good.”

COVID-19 brought some other changes to their family. Jayden, their 24-year-old daughter was furloughed from her job at Bergdorf when NY Pause began. It was a challenging time for many young people who were without work. Not knowing what the future held Lauren encouraged Jayden’s creativity and Jayden launched ZIP’D Wear, a casual clothing line. “It took her mind off things, and fortunately in July Jayden was called back to Bergdorf,” says Lauren. Always the entrepreneur, Jayden still keeps up with her business.

The Karrs reflected on their 27-year marriage, their careers and their life in Chappaqua.

“Laughing is a huge part of our marriage,” says Ian. His advice: “Don’t take yourself too seriously and create circumstances for you to grow together.” Lauren adds, “The key is mutual respect and to be on the same page about parenting.”

“With the pace of things today, it’s easy to feel like we’re on a hamster wheel,” says Ian. “One day I watched a hamster in a pet store. You know how hamsters get off the wheel? They jump. I learned from that little rodent that if you want to get off the hamster wheel you have to take a leap, you can’t just slow it down.”

And has their life been like a Hallmark movie? “Typically, in a Hallmark movie one of the important themes is rediscovering yourself and what’s important in your life after you’ve been sidetracked or led astray. It becomes a tug of war and the characters always choose people over things,” Ian says. “The parallel for me in my life with Hallmark is I tend to choose relationships and the happiness of the people around me over almost everything else.”

As a friend once told Ian, “Marriage is like a great movie. Ninety percent of it is casting.” It looks like Ian and Lauren Karr are the stars of their own inspiring journey.

Filed Under: Cover Stories Tagged With: Chappaqua, COVID-19, Empty Nesters, Ian Karr, IKA Collective, kids, Lauren Karr, marriage, Pilates, skiing

From the Boroughs to the Burbs … and Back

March 8, 2019 by Sabra Staudenmaier

The view from the Davis’ new city apartment

One of the most famous lines in cinema is “There’s no place like home” uttered repeatedly by a young Judy Garland playing Dorothy in The Wizard of Oz. What one wants in a home and a community though often changes over time. For many city dwellers with a burgeoning family, the excitement of the city soon takes a back seat to practical needs. The suburbs call out with abundant green lawns, tranquility and good public schools. Cramped apartments and endless cultural opportunities give way to multi-bedroom houses with ample closet space and sprawling backyards. A slower pace. Less noise. The smell of cut grass comes from the lawn outside rather than from a high-end room spray from Bloomingdales. As the spring housing market heats up, we spoke with young families who made the move north of I-287 and empty nesters who said “sayonara” to the suburbs and found their footing in the city.

Growing Families Sprout to the Suburbs

From Park Slope to Parks Aplenty

For Cori and Matt Chmielecki the decision to leave their two-bedroom, one-bathroom apartment in Park Slope was a difficult one. They were happy in Brooklyn; they had great friends, a deck, a yard, a driveway and central air. But with the birth of their twins their apartment became too small for their family of five.

They began their search in the suburbs looking for more space and good schools. They were glad to get away from the feeder school mentality. “Right now all of my friends in Brooklyn are interviewing to get their kids into middle school. I knew that process wasn’t for me” remarked Cori. They preferred Westchester because it was close to family in Connecticut and Metro North offered an ideal commute for Matt, who works in the city.

The Chmielecki kids catch their school bus

“We loved Brooklyn and thought we wouldn’t be cool anymore if we left.” Said Cori, who can’t help but bring the Brooklyn vibe wherever she goes. “Getting into a store with a double stroller and a buggy board on the back was not fun. Life in Brooklyn felt hard, more hectic,” Cori recalls. They were a bit hesitant about going so far north but when all things were considered, Chappaqua was their best option.

Since moving to Chappaqua they acknowledge missing their friends and the culture and diversity of Brooklyn; but overall the Chmieleckis couldn’t be happier. They love their neighbors, the schools, their yard, the weeping willow in front of their house and the creek that runs through their property. Cori especially appreciates the school bus picking her kids up at the end of their driveway.

The Arany Family in the City

Addicted to Armonk

Karina Gritsenko and David Arany and their three sons moved from the Upper East Side to Armonk in September of 2017. Though they loved their rent stabilized two-bedroom apartment on Park Avenue, it was starting to feel too small for their growing family.

The Aranys had the standard requirements when looking to move to the suburbs. They were considering space, location, schools and community. Karina is a physician and commutes to Montefiore Medical Center in the Bronx. David works in finance in Stamford, CT and Manhattan, so proximity to these places was a consideration.

It wasn’t long after moving that Karina started teasing David that he was “Addicted to Armonk.” He loves everything about it: the focus on family, the community, the safety and especially the indoor and outdoor space. “Armonk is a family town in a way other towns aren’t. It has a real feeling of community with festive events like the Frosty Day Parade and the Armonk Outdoor Art Show.”

“We have an amazing town,” Karina says with pride. “Everything is geared towards the kids.  Armonk feels like the Upper East Side, only with houses instead of apartments.” David says that coming home to Armonk from the city “makes him calm and happy.”


Empty Nesters Flock to the City

A Nest in the Sky

Cheryl and Danny Strick moved to Armonk from LA in 2004 when their two kids were 10 and 6 years old. They had heard from friends that Windmill Farm in Armonk is one of the best places on the East Coast to raise kids. After looking around, they agreed and settled there. “It was such an easy place to meet people and make friends,” recalls Cheryl.

When their kids grew up and went away to college, Cheryl, a television producer, found herself at home alone with her three dogs working on projects while her husband worked long days in the music industry getting home late most nights. They decided that they would be able to spend more time together if they downsized and moved to the city.

The Stricks saw moving to the city as an opportunity to reinvent and rediscover their relationship. Cheryl feels that “you thrive by reinventing yourself.”

The thing the Stricks miss most about living in Armonk are their many dear friends. Cheryl makes a point to come back to Armonk regularly for Canasta games and lunches. The couple has an annual tradition of watching the Super Bowl and celebrating July 4th with their friends in Armonk.

Cheryl has enjoyed constantly recreating and redecorating her home as life has changed. She looks at this stage of her life as a continuation of that. This time she has built her home as “a nest high in the sky”. Though they miss their backyard with the screened in porch, pool and Jacuzzi, the Stricks now have a view from their Upper West Side 18th floor apartment terrace that they love.

Turning the Page

Lisa and Stephen Davis lived in Chappaqua for 31 years. They built a wonderful and happy life, and found it to be an ideal place to raise their three children. They established deep roots in the community. Lisa was on the Chappaqua Board of Education for nine years and served as the president of Temple Beth El; but the couple had both gone to college in the city and they lived there before having kids. Though they loved their life in Chappaqua, they always knew they would eventually go back. Eight years after their youngest finished college, they decided that it was time.

Lisa feels that “New York City is a great place to be as an older adult. You don’t have to drive, there is so much culture and you walk more.” It made sense that this was the place for their next phase. “It’s energizing and exciting to turn the page…and a little frightening”. Yet, Lisa emphasizes that it’s important for the timing to be right.

Lisa still maintains ties to Westchester, as she reverse commutes to her job as Executive Director of the Westchester Putnam School Board. On the other hand, her husband enjoys having a fast and easy commute to his job in the city.

The Davises are glad they moved to New York City, however Lisa misses being connected to the community like she was when she lived in Chappaqua. She has stayed in contact with her friends, however she misses being close to some of her favorite places like the Jacob Burns Film Center, Rockefeller State Park Preserve and her beloved temple.


Suburbity: A Combination of the Suburbs and the City

The city; an hour, but sometimes a lifetime, away. The decision about where to live often becomes about priorities and changing lifestyles. However, leaving one place doesn’t mean you must completely detach. And so, we can create a hybrid, a mash-up, of what we want and need from both places across the timeline of our lives. It is nice to know we have the best of suburban life still within a reasonable distance of all that the city offers, even if it takes years or even decades to get there.

Filed Under: Armonk Cover Stories Tagged With: Boroughs, Choices, city, Empty Nesters, Family, life, moving, New York City

For Empty Nesters, Getting Back into Shape is a Worthy Challenge

December 1, 2016 by Andrew Vitelli

When Grace Bennett, this magazine’s publisher, saw the last of her children leave for college, she found herself with a bit more time to commit to getting into shape. But the added time at the gym, along with weekly walks with a friend, weren’t leading to the results she envisioned.

“My regular workout wasn’t helping me keep the pounds at bay,” Bennett recalls. “I just wasn’t pushing myself very much, and I definitely wasn’t watching what I ate very well.”

Bennett’s problem is one many empty nesters, and others looking to jump into a training program, encounter after only months of working out, says Saw Mill Club Fitness Director Billy Goda.

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Personal trainer Sarah Eichorn showing Grace proper form

“People think that they just need to learn the best ten moves, do them two-to-three times a week, and they’re good,” Goda explains. “They’re looking for an easy solution. There’s not an easy solution or quick fix.” “Routine,” concludes Goda, “is the opposite of fitness.”

Looking to step up the intensity of her workouts, Bennett decided to hire a personal trainer. She had trained a few years ago, but for the sake of convenience and consistency, she wanted the personal trainer to also be inside the Saw Mill Club, where she had recently become a member. “I gave up on the idea again that I could do this by myself,” she says. Still, she now admits that she wasn’t exactly looking forward to being pushed to her limits. “I fully expected [the trainer] to be something of a taskmaster. I thought, ‘This is going to be really awful.’”

In her first meeting with her new trainer, Saw Mill Club’s Sarah Eichorn, Bennett realized her fears were unfounded. Eichorn pushed her to gradually up her intensity without going beyond what Bennett could comfortably handle.

“With her we circuited between getting her heart rate up, going to an upper body [workout], then a lower body,” Eichorn, a Mt. Kisco resident, explains. “As she learned these movements individually, we started putting them together.”

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Soon, Eichorn saw great improvement. “I noticed a big change in her cardio, with the respiratory, with her heart rate,” Eichorn says. The two also developed a nice rapport and personal connection. “I feel very comfortable with Sarah; she is both low key and knowledgeable about fitness and health.”

Goda says Saw Mill Club gets many men and women in their 50s, like Bennett, who decide it’s time to get back into, or just into, shape.

“One thing that we stress is that what you’re going to do in your 50s,” Goda says, “that’s going to determine how you feel in your late 50s, your 60s, your 70s, and beyond.”

But while joining a gym is a good first step, there are many potential pitfalls that can derail one’s fitness program. Often, Goda says, people in their 50s join a gym and do the same simple workout every time, leading to some early but unsustainable progress.

“In the third month, when things aren’t going well, they disappear for a year,” Goda says. “What we try to do at the Saw Mill Club is we try to make sure people don’t just disappear.”

smc_grace-177-edit
Goda gets the club’s clients to focus on the five major components of fitness: muscular strength, muscular endurance, flexibility, cardio health, and body composition. Trainers may have their clients start by improving their range of motion, then add weight to the movement, and then throw in a twisting motion.

Communication, Goda stressed, is essential so clients know what they are doing and why they are doing it. This will not only help them see quick results, but will better the chances that they continue to push forward six months to a year in the future.

Goda also points out that no one is too old to start training, and said that working out can alleviate problems like back pain.

“My oldest client is 92 years old,” Goda says. “I put him in all these different movement patterns, and he is pain free.”

When Bennett began her training, her focus was on the number she saw when she stepped on the scale. Eichorn convinced her that this approach was misguided, as losing weight and getting fit are not one and the same.

“People are telling me that I look better,” says Bennett. “I feel better in general from day to day. I feel like I have a little more energy. I’m coupling it with much better eating too.”
For info on membership and training packages, visit www.sawmillclub.com.

PHOTOS BY: Philip Holt/Mad Shots Photography

Andrew Vitelli is a Westchester native and the editor of Inside Armonk.

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Filed Under: Sponsor News! Tagged With: empty nest, Empty Nesters, get into shape, Saw Mill Club, training, workout

New Castle Seeks to Offer Empty Nesters More Good Reasons to Stay

August 2, 2015 by Inside Press

By Grace Bennett

And then one day, my kids both flew the coop, and I joined the ranks of the “Empty Nest.”

But here I am, going on 19 years of residency in my hometown of Chappaqua—just like a full 55 percent of the community who reside here without children in the School District. One long-time friend returned to the excitement and convenience of the city; saying goodbye was painful for me! Another conversely wishes to slow down, perhaps, and is exploring a warmer climate in a community where taxes are more manageable. Others have opted to stay; still others are on the fence.

Like many of my peers who continue to pay New Castle taxes, we are often asked and sometimes even ask ourselves: Why do we stay? Why should we stay? What incentive and resources does New Castle offer its empty nest and more senior resident community?

So it was with great personal interest that I thought I’d explore any available answers to these questions by attending and covering one of a recent series of “Roundtable Discussions,” hosted by Town Hall at The Chappaqua Library. This one was called: “How to Keep Empty Nesters in the Community.”
panel shot best

Over the course of an animated 90-minute discussion and exchange of ideas, the nine member panel, led by Town Supervisor Robert Greenstein, addressed questions ranging from whether a tax reduction for residency here beyond the school years is possible to the cultural and educational resources that provide the incentive to stay in the first place. rob with group best

“Our goal is to help make people whose kids are not in school here still feel like an important part of our community,” noted Greenstein, early in the forum. And later: “We want people to stay here past the 12 to 13 year plan.”

“We are more than just great schools and we have lots to offer residents at every stage of their lives. We must have services and activities for residents of all ages: multi-generational living enriches our community.”

“We are competing with 55 and over communities that offer many activities. We need to offer those same activities. Let’s face it: We pay a lot in taxes. That’s the price of world class schools. But, we also need to offer world class community activities. Our empty nesters should have calendars full of arts and cultural events and recreational activities right here in our community.”

To that end, Greenstein told panel attendees that the Wallace Auditorium at Chappaqua Crossing could be the venue for more Chappaqua Orchestra, theater and dance programs. A new Culture and Arts committee is forming to address the best use of that new town resource.

“55% of residents don’t have school age children,” stated panelist Jeffrey Mester, board member of the Chappaqua Central School District; Mester is recently divorced and a soon to be empty nester himself. “I have 18, 19 and 20 year olds,” he noted. The big draw to being here for Mester? “They (the kids) come back!” he noted wryly. And then, more seriously: “It’s truly my ties to the community. It’s not about the higher or lower taxes.”

Still, Greenstein offered: “I feel strongly that if you are going to stay here and continue to pay the taxes, then we need to provide activities that make it worth it.

A member of the audience asked Mester that the School District retain their email addresses for correspondence after the kids leave too and not automatically end correspondence. “The school depends on everyone’s taxes to support it,” noted resident Judith McGrath. “The schools need to take responsibility to be more proactive.”
best audience roundatalbe
Mester agreed that is a good idea and also encouraged those attending to contact the District Clerk for information on how to stay involved with the schools. “Participation with seniors is great,” he said, “such as through a pen pal program with fourth graders or simply coming in to discuss your experiences.” One audience member also noted that continuing educational offerings had become predictable and inquired why a language studies teacher at the high school, for example, couldn’t offer a course. Mester noted that it may require allocating funds to pay teachers (who are in contract) to also offer more vibrant continuing education.

One common theme that emerged: it’s impossible to pigeon hole empty nesters…their means and their expectations for the town can vary, considerably.

For example, not all empty nesters wish to downsize; some will even upsize, as long time Chappaqua residents Bonnie and Gerry Golub did to make their home an inviting place for their children and grandchildren to come visit and stay over. Panelist Bonnie Golub, a real estate agent with William Raveis, is a proponent of a gradual lowering of the tax base to make staying for many residents across the board more attractive too.

The question of taxation is for Albany, maintained Greenstein. “They give us a chance to provide certain exemptions as a local option: senior star exemptions, veterans, volunteer fire fighters, ambulance, etc. We take advantage of every tax exemption they offer to us,” he said. “As far as town charges for things like refuse, we can give discounts to seniors and we do. But, we cannot just give a tax reduction: this is Albany’s decision.”

A tax break notwithstanding, Golub also suggested that the school district actively encourage its students to provide voluntary community service to area seniors. Twenty hours of community service by young people to our seniors before graduation would be a wonderful way to give back, she noted.

Panelist and town Social Worker Carolyn Merkin reminded the audience of multiple efforts in New Castle to ease the burden for seniors including home delivered meals programs and volunteers who drive seniors every day whether to and from shopping and doctor appointment or offer help at home for tasks ranging from help paying bills to arranging home care services.

One panelist, Steve Biren, who downsized to a home in Riverwoods, said the amenities of the sought after complex and his own active involvement there keeps him happy. He said that despite the attraction of a place for example, like Naples, Florida, for seniors, he stays here, because “it’s a cohesive community. That is a plus.”

Pamela Thornton, director of the Chappaqua Library, and Cassie Ward, director of the New Castle Historical Society (NCHS), were on hand too to summarize the plethora of activities and packed calendars each of these local institutions have available for everyone from toddlers to empty nesters and seniors. (Many in attendance agreed that integrated activities, i.e. those involving many age groups, were highly desirable.) Hundreds of volunteer opportunities are available not only at the Library and the NCHS but at churches and synagogues and not for profits around town; Ward also said that a central data base of all events and programming around town would be extremely helpful.

Ronni Diamondstein, a resident of the Chestnut Oak Ridge condominiums in Chappaqua, joined the panel to represent New Castle residents who have never had children in the schools here (nor necessarily plan to). She said she lives here because Chappaqua “is a beautiful town” and that her location at the end of North Greeley Avenue makes walking to the train, going shopping locally and getting involved in a variety of community organizations easy to do. She also mentioned a group (and programming) for empty nesters at Temple Beth El of Northern Westchester.

As for me, I’m totally psyched to hear if the new culture/arts committee might bring more adult programming to Chappaqua. I have found condo living (at Old Farm Lake, New Castle’s largest condo community) an absolutely reasonable option for single me with grown kids, and know how fortunate I am given the limits in downsize options. In general, I find the area teeming with work and creative opportunities and possibilities that with just a little more free time, I look forward to exploring more thoroughly. So, for now, and into the foreseeable future, New Castle remains my beloved home.

Greenstein acknowledges the shortage of homes to downsize to. “Many residents love their homes and their routines. They enjoy their lifestyle, cherish their friends and ties to the community. They have no desire to leave the community. However, it would be nice if we were able to offer them options to downsize in the community. This is an area where we can do a better job.”

Grace Bennett is Publisher and Editor of The Inside Press: Inside Chappaqua and Inside Armonk Magazines, and most recently produced a guide for the Town called Inside my New Castle: Welcome to our Neighborhood.


Community Offerings to Seniors

The following activities are examples of what the Town of New Castle offers our seniors, according to panelist Brittany Nieder, recreation supervisor. Many of the activities take place at the Community House on Senter Street.

Brittany Neider, Town of New Castle Recreation Supervisor
Brittany Neider, Town of New Castle Recreation Supervisor

Monday Movies
Poker groups (no money)
Knitting group
Ping Pong
Mah Jongg
Bridge
AARP Defensive Driving twice a year
Local Trip (Tea houses, malls, Arthur ave, etc)
North of Broadway Players (acting group)
Book Lover’s Club (through the library)
Basic Conversations in Spanish
Hawthorne Cedar Knowles Grandparenting Program
Watercolor & Drawing
Out and About Club
Bi-annual trip with the Historical Society
Trip (Depending on weather and season) Examples: Yankee games, museums, festivals, etc
Exercise classes
Themed Luncheons/Socials

Filed Under: New Castle News Tagged With: Activities, Chappaqua, community, culture, Empty Nesters, Inside Press, theinsidepress.com

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