moving

Finding Your Village

March 8, 2019 by Christine Pasqueralle

The life of a mom who stays at home with young kids can be many things–exciting and fulfilling, yes, but also, crazy, hectic, and sometimes… lonely. Without the proverbial village we all hear about, it can be hard for a mom (or dad) to find their way in a community without guidance.

When my husband and I moved to Hawthorne, our daughter was not quite two and I needed a way to get to know the community and meet other stay-at-home moms like myself. We joined a local music class and did some fun events at the library. Incidentally, if you have young kids, story time with Miss Debbie at the Mount Pleasant Library is absolutely wonderful. But then my daughter started pre-school and our son came along. After he was born, things were definitely frenzied. I felt like I was running around in circles everywhere but not really meeting people in the community.

“Having just moved to Westchester all the way from the West Coast, and having limited support nearby, I was anxious to find my village–FAST,” said Johnson.

One day as I was perusing Facebook, I came upon a post from another local mom looking to meet others with similar-aged kids. Her name was Jenifer Johnson and she had created a group called Pleasantville Play Date Meet-up and right there, a new village was born! She was, just like me and so many others, a mom who simply wanted to get herself and her kids out of the house and socialize with others.

“I’ve always been a believer that being a parent takes “a village.” Having just moved to Westchester all the way from the West Coast, and having limited support nearby, I was anxious to find my village–FAST,” said Johnson, who currently runs the Ridgefield, CT Playdate Meet-up.

“Social media is an excellent tool to bring people together and connect with those who have similar interests. In my case, I was looking for other moms like me who lived close by and had an interest in making new friends and socializing our children. I created a group with a very basic name, stock photo of a playdate and posted it on some other, larger Parent groups.”

The group took off, with members joining from all over the Mount Pleasant area. Instead of just planning meetups at a local park, parents started hosting play dates at their homes, which evolved into special events like holiday parties, craft days, and more.

And then, it went from just getting the kids together to getting the moms out too. It’s important for moms to have some quality kid-free time. So one night a group of us got together to do a craft night and “Mom’s Night Out” was born. Cookie exchanges, baby showers, mani-pedi nights and many a birthday celebration followed. And the group also holds a monthly dinner at restaurants all around town.

Jennifer Liddle, the group’s current admin says, “As the admin, it is so rewarding to brainstorm and execute events for local moms and kids to meet. I’ve made some of my closest friends through this group–friendships that transcend the initial reason why we met in the first place, our kids. Additionally, I’ve seen several other friendships blossom and it makes me so proud that I have had a part in that. I remember when I moved to the suburbs, I was worried it would be impossible to make friends. This group of ours made it possible.”

Continues Johnson, “Eventually, this tiny idea became a reality with new parents joining everyday. Play dates, mom’s night’s, BBQ’S, birthday parties–we had our village. Jennifer Liddle, who runs the group now, has taken it to over 270 members! It’s awesome!”

As an introvert, it can be hard for me to get out of my comfort zone and take a chance in meeting new people. But sometimes you just have to do it and hope for the best. As Thomas Jefferson said, “With great risk comes great reward.”

I’m so glad I did. I’ve cultivated many new friendships through the group. We all want to feel like we belong somewhere. And it’s great to know that there are others you can turn to for camaraderie and support.

I truly enjoy living in Mount Pleasant and really feel like I’ve become a part of the community-at-large. I’ve gotten to know my town and my community through local meeting places such as the library, farmers market, school events, and of course a Facebook play date group that I just happened to click on that fateful day.

From the Boroughs to the Burbs … and Back

March 8, 2019 by Sabra Staudenmaier

The view from the Davis’ new city apartment

One of the most famous lines in cinema is “There’s no place like home” uttered repeatedly by a young Judy Garland playing Dorothy in The Wizard of Oz. What one wants in a home and a community though often changes over time. For many city dwellers with a burgeoning family, the excitement of the city soon takes a back seat to practical needs. The suburbs call out with abundant green lawns, tranquility and good public schools. Cramped apartments and endless cultural opportunities give way to multi-bedroom houses with ample closet space and sprawling backyards. A slower pace. Less noise. The smell of cut grass comes from the lawn outside rather than from a high-end room spray from Bloomingdales. As the spring housing market heats up, we spoke with young families who made the move north of I-287 and empty nesters who said “sayonara” to the suburbs and found their footing in the city.

Growing Families Sprout to the Suburbs

From Park Slope to Parks Aplenty

For Cori and Matt Chmielecki the decision to leave their two-bedroom, one-bathroom apartment in Park Slope was a difficult one. They were happy in Brooklyn; they had great friends, a deck, a yard, a driveway and central air. But with the birth of their twins their apartment became too small for their family of five.

They began their search in the suburbs looking for more space and good schools. They were glad to get away from the feeder school mentality. “Right now all of my friends in Brooklyn are interviewing to get their kids into middle school. I knew that process wasn’t for me” remarked Cori. They preferred Westchester because it was close to family in Connecticut and Metro North offered an ideal commute for Matt, who works in the city.

The Chmielecki kids catch their school bus

“We loved Brooklyn and thought we wouldn’t be cool anymore if we left.” Said Cori, who can’t help but bring the Brooklyn vibe wherever she goes. “Getting into a store with a double stroller and a buggy board on the back was not fun. Life in Brooklyn felt hard, more hectic,” Cori recalls. They were a bit hesitant about going so far north but when all things were considered, Chappaqua was their best option.

Since moving to Chappaqua they acknowledge missing their friends and the culture and diversity of Brooklyn; but overall the Chmieleckis couldn’t be happier. They love their neighbors, the schools, their yard, the weeping willow in front of their house and the creek that runs through their property. Cori especially appreciates the school bus picking her kids up at the end of their driveway.

Addicted to Armonk

Karina Gritsenko and David Arany and their three sons moved from the Upper East Side to Armonk in September of 2017. Though they loved their rent stabilized two-bedroom apartment on Park Avenue, it was starting to feel too small for their growing family.

The Aranys had the standard requirements when looking to move to the suburbs. They were considering space, location, schools and community. Karina is a physician and commutes to Montefiore Medical Center in the Bronx. David works in finance in Stamford, CT and Manhattan, so proximity to these places was a consideration.

It wasn’t long after moving that Karina started teasing David that he was “Addicted to Armonk.” He loves everything about it: the focus on family, the community, the safety and especially the indoor and outdoor space. “Armonk is a family town in a way other towns aren’t. It has a real feeling of community with festive events like the Frosty Day Parade and the Armonk Outdoor Art Show.”

“We have an amazing town,” Karina says with pride. “Everything is geared towards the kids. Armonk feels like the Upper East Side, only with houses instead of apartments.” David says that coming home to Armonk from the city “makes him calm and happy.”

Empty Nesters Flock to the City

A Nest in the Sky

Cheryl and Danny Strick moved to Armonk from LA in 2004 when their two kids were 10 and 6 years old. They had heard from friends that Windmill Farm in Armonk is one of the best places on the East Coast to raise kids. After looking around, they agreed and settled there. “It was such an easy place to meet people and make friends,” recalls Cheryl.

When their kids grew up and went away to college, Cheryl, a television producer, found herself at home alone with her three dogs working on projects while her husband worked long days in the music industry getting home late most nights. They decided that they would be able to spend more time together if they downsized and moved to the city.

The Stricks saw moving to the city as an opportunity to reinvent and rediscover their relationship. Cheryl feels that “you thrive by reinventing yourself.”

The thing the Stricks miss most about living in Armonk are their many dear friends. Cheryl makes a point to come back to Armonk regularly for Canasta games and lunches. The couple has an annual tradition of watching the Super Bowl and celebrating July 4th with their friends in Armonk.

Cheryl has enjoyed constantly recreating and redecorating her home as life has changed. She looks at this stage of her life as a continuation of that. This time she has built her home as “a nest high in the sky”. Though they miss their backyard with the screened in porch, pool and Jacuzzi, the Stricks now have a view from their Upper West Side 18th floor apartment terrace that they love.

Turning the Page

Lisa and Stephen Davis lived in Chappaqua for 31 years. They built a wonderful and happy life, and found it to be an ideal place to raise their three children. They established deep roots in the community. Lisa was on the Chappaqua Board of Education for nine years and served as the president of Temple Beth El; but the couple had both gone to college in the city and they lived there before having kids. Though they loved their life in Chappaqua, they always knew they would eventually go back. Eight years after their youngest finished college, they decided that it was time.

Lisa feels that “New York City is a great place to be as an older adult. You don’t have to drive, there is so much culture and you walk more.” It made sense that this was the place for their next phase. “It’s energizing and exciting to turn the page…and a little frightening”. Yet, Lisa emphasizes that it’s important for the timing to be right.

Lisa still maintains ties to Westchester, as she reverse commutes to her job as Executive Director of the Westchester Putnam School Board. On the other hand, her husband enjoys having a fast and easy commute to his job in the city.

The Davises are glad they moved to New York City, however Lisa misses being connected to the community like she was when she lived in Chappaqua. She has stayed in contact with her friends, however she misses being close to some of her favorite places like the Jacob Burns Film Center, Rockefeller State Park Preserve and her beloved temple.

Suburbity: A Combination of the Suburbs and the City

The city; an hour, but sometimes a lifetime, away. The decision about where to live often becomes about priorities and changing lifestyles. However, leaving one place doesn’t mean you must completely detach. And so, we can create a hybrid, a mash-up, of what we want and need from both places across the timeline of our lives. It is nice to know we have the best of suburban life still within a reasonable distance of all that the city offers, even if it takes years or even decades to get there.

Making a Move to the Big Apple? A Check List

March 8, 2019 by The Inside Press

1. Some 18 months before your anticipated move, interview and choose your selling agent. He or she will be able to advise you on the value of your home in your market, suggest the best selling season and keep you apprised if and when changes occur. They’ll also make recommendations on putting your home in its best possible selling condition: pointing out where a coat of paint or a landscape refresh will punch up the curb appeal, or caution against spending renovation money you won’t recoup on your sale.

2. Research estate and/or tag sale managers. Depending on your style and the age and quality of your furniture, art objects, musical instruments, even cars, you may want to sell the things you can before you start tossing, recycling and donating. You’ll want several vendors to come to your home, appraise your items and give you an idea of their own style and record of success, how they would manage your sale, and an estimate of your net. Be sure to get a list of references and check them!

3. Throw it out! No way are you taking all that suburban stuff with you. In all likelihood your place will be smaller and you just won’t have the storage. Be ruthless and if possible, start a year ahead of your move, throw it out, recycle it, give it away. When the moving van comes, you’ll be glad you did.

4. Check out the neighborhoods you think you might like. Visit open houses to get a feel for what’s available in your price range, and stop in at stores and restaurants at different times of day, on different days of the week, and even in different seasons. The block you thought was sleepy and serene on an August Sunday afternoon could be hopping with tourists, skateboards or baby strollers on the Tuesday after Labor Day. Consider renting for a while if you’re not absolutely sure.

5. Assemble your buying team. Assuming you are buying, you will want to identify your buyer’s agent early for the same reason you choose your seller’s agent early. A good professional will want to get to know you–not just your wish-list, but who you are, how you will live, work and have fun in your new environment. That takes time…and a lot of questions.

The buying team should also provide you with market updates and info you really can’t easily find anywhere else–like tips on passing your coop board application, or which condos might be offering unadvertised discounts. In addition to decorators, contractors, movers and painters, they should also recommend other members of your team – lenders and, most important, attorneys.

Keep in mind: 90% of owned real estate in New York is cooperative and there is nothing more complicated and fraught with potential pitfalls than a coop purchase. Choosing a top notch real estate professional team–responsive, responsible and knowledgeable selling and buying agents; an eager and honest lender; and a savvy, diligent and cautious attorney–will have the greatest impact on making this move to a new home and a new chapter in your life stress-free, exciting and tremendously satisfying.

Robin Roy was a 12-year resident of Chappaqua. She now lives in midtown Manhattan and is a Licensed Real Estate Salesperson with The Corcoran Group.

The Expat Experience: Local Residents Share their Stories About Moving to the ‘Castles’

March 8, 2018 by Stacey Pfeffer

Next time you are at the library or your local coffee shop, take a close listen and perhaps you’ll hear a British or Brazilian accent. No these aren’t tourists visiting New or North Castle but instead they are expatriates (also commonly referred to as expats) who have chosen to make our lovely slice of Northern Westchester their home. While some plan to remain long-term others have defined job assignments and a specified duration of time here. The Inside Press wanted to spotlight some recent expats to our community and hear their unique perspective about what makes living in the ‘Castles’ so special….

Meet the Mansfields

Meike Mansfield, originally from Germany and her British husband, Luke and two children, Heidi and Robin most recently hail from Kent, United Kingdom. A place that she describes as “picturesque with fields and horse paddocks.” Their life was hectic though with both Meike working for a multinational food company and Luke working for Samsung and having an arduous daily commute to London. When Luke received a call from a headhunter for a job for another multinational company in innovation based in Purchase, she was initially hesitant. But she also knew that she was frazzled and stressed in the U.K. working a job with two young kids, and no sitter or support system. After watching a close friend’s battle with cancer and ultimate death, she reevaluated. “It made me think life is so short. We have this amazing opportunity and you only live once, so let’s do it.”

After accepting his position, the Mansfields moved here in 2015. Her husband was on a local work contract with an “O” visa. This type of visa is for workers that have a unique skill set or expertise. The visas that expats receive to work in the U.S. vary from individual to individual. As an expert in the field of innovation, Luke was well-qualified for an “O” visa but it meant that Meike and her two children were “just attachments. We were allowed to be here but I could not work here.”

Pinpointing a Town to Call Home

Relocating is a difficult process but luckily Luke’s employer has housing and school consultants at the ready for expats. The Mansfields looked at many towns all over Westchester including Scarsdale, Larchmont, Dobbs Ferry, Irvington, Pleasantville, Briarcliff, Armonk and Chappaqua. Towns in Lower Westchester including Scarsdale, Larchmont and Rye are expat hubs, according to Expat Exchange, an online resource for expats but as more businesses expand or open in Northern Westchester such as Regeneron, Pernod Ricard and IBM, expats are slowly starting to discover that the towns of Northern Westchester offer ample space and great schools. The Mansfields also considered Greenwich and seriously considered Ridgefield, CT which has an easy commute to Purchase. But when Luke learned that he’d have regular travel to New York City, Ridgefield was knocked off the list and Chappaqua rose to the top. “It was the perfect compromise where we would get land and still have that feeling of being surrounded by nature. Plus it’s beautiful with reasonable proximity to NYC and great schools, so it ticked all the boxes for us.”

A Rough Start

Like many expats, they had to live in temporary housing in White Plains upon arrival to the U.S. because their house wasn’t ready. It was the winter of 2015 and the snowy weather was relentless. Meike had to drive her daughter Heidi to Westorchard Elementary and her son Robin to World Cup Nursery School in a rental car without four-wheel drive. “I wasn’t used to driving in the snow and I got the flu too. Plus it was my daughter’s birthday and we knew no one here. I had to somehow make her a party and I definitely doubted if we had done the right thing by moving here.”

The Gilvar Family
PHOTO BY JESSICA PASCHKES,
PRETTY PICTURES MARKETING

Settling In

But those feelings of doubt quickly dissipated once she moved to Chappaqua. Meike’s outgoing personality was key to helping her and her family settle in. “I emailed all the parents in Robin’s class and said we just moved here. I don’t have any friends. Want to come out for a drink? What’s funny is a lot of people got back to me and said they were in the same boat and home with young kids all day. Many of those ladies who I met that night are still my friends to this day.”

Meike is currently a stay-at-home mom and an active member of the Junior League of Northern Westchester. She chairs the human trafficking committee, which supports minors who have been trafficked for commercial sexual exploitation. She is also a Girl Scout troop leader. In order to preserve their German heritage, her children attend German school in White Plains on the weekend.

The family enjoys living on Hilltop Drive, which has neighborhood barbeques and dinner parties. “We have no plans to go back to the U.K. We have a great quality of life,” she notes. The family also recently received their green cards and Meike is now able to accept freelance projects and legally work here.

From Au Pair Days to Homeownership

Claire Fletcher Gilvar, a British citizen and founder of Booked Parties, a children’s birthday party resource website and booking platform has fond memories of Chappaqua after spending four summers here working as an au pair for a family on Garey Drive while studying at Oxford University through a British Royal Navy program. Fast forward to almost two decades later when Claire and her husband Adam were living with their two young children in Long Island City, Queens, they knew they needed ample space for their growing family. They decided to come full circle back to New Castle. “Chappaqua hasn’t changed much since 1992. My time as an au pair here was definitely part of the pull back to this area.”

The Iyengar Family
PHOTO BY CATHY PINSKY, PINKSY STUDIO

Introducing the Iyengars

Mrinalini (Mili) Iyengar and her husband Chaithra first came here from Bangalore, India with their now 5-year-old son Naman in the spring of 2016. Mili works in IT sales for Capgemini and her husband is in sales at IBM. Mili wanted to work in the U.S. since it leads the way in IT innovation. Initially, Austin was on their radar and friends suggested that they move to Texas for the lower cost of living but Northern Westchester was very attractive to Mili. Almost three months before moving here, she signed up for town e-newsletters for both Austin and New Castle. She loved that the New Castle one listed activities for adults and children. “I saw various avenues where I could integrate into the community. Something as simple as when the Farmers Market begins and ends and the fact that there was a kid’s hockey team was a real draw for me. The Austin newsletter put me in a black hole,” she commented.

Initially they moved to New Castle but now live in North Castle. “Good schools have always been priority number one for us” and when their lease ran out on their rental in New Castle they were happy to find another town nearby with great schools and accessible to Westchester County Airport, which they both use regularly for domestic travel.

Raising A Global Citizen

The Iyengars appreciate the educational system here. “We want to raise Naman as a global citizen.” While Mili feels that India has a strong academic system, she doesn’t like the fact that on the flipside you make career choices very early. “If you are training to be an engineer, there is no option to take any humanities classes.” She also appreciates the fact that Naman is now more “culturally aware. He now knows that there is a menorah and you light it on Chanukkah.”

Challenges for Expats: From Mortgages to the More Mundane

Mili is on an L1A visa, which allows her to work in the U.S. for up to seven years. They hope to buy a home here. “Beyond a three year horizon, it doesn’t keep sense for us to keep renting.” But getting a mortgage or making any large purchase has been challenging for her family. “Every time we have to bring money from India, we lose out on the exchange rate.” When they wanted to purchase a car, they only got a $600 credit limit from their bank. “It doesn’t matter that our combined salaries might be close to the upper 1 percenters in terms of income. Credit history here is just so important.”

While financial concerns are a big focus for many expats, more mundane problems can also be taxing for newcomers. “Last year a tree fell in my backyard and I had no idea what to do.” Harnessing the power of technology, Mili who is a member of Chappaqua Moms and Armonk Parents Facebook pages was able to find reputable tree removal providers. “I literally feel like these groups are watching my back all the time. These groups have been instrumental in helping me and my family get ingrained into the local culture.”

Moving from Isolation to Inclusion

Like most expats, there have been moments when Mili has felt homesick. The first year that they moved here during the Indian festival of Diwali she saw her relatives all celebrating on social media. Chaithra was traveling at the time and it was the first time that she realized that she was all alone in the U.S. That experience jolted her to maintain a connection with the Indian community here and propelled her to actively seek out other Indian families in the area. Again, technology came to the rescue and helped her connect with Indian families nearby. Mili is now part of a kitty party, a group of approximately 16 Indian women from nearby towns who meet monthly and socialize in each other’s homes. There is a very set social framework for these gatherings and no men or children are allowed. The group has helped her find Indian ingredients for cooking or advice on music teachers for Naman to learn to play Indian instruments. She now meets and celebrates Indian festivals and holidays with these families.

Just as she’s made inroads within the Indian community, Mili loves the fact that half of Naman’s class at Coman Hill Elementary are new to the area. She’s met many families through school activities and she also has used technology to help her build an extended network of local friends that helped her recreate a family environment for her son. In Bangalore, they lived in a gated community and Naman would go to the park daily and interact with children and adults of all ages, so that he never felt like he was an only child. Robin and Gary Murphy who are Chappaqua residents hold badminton parties at their house and the Iyengars are frequent participants. “I love the fact that it helped us to recreate a family environment for our son with other kids from all age groups.”

The Roversi Family
PHOTO COURTESY OF MAIRA ROVERSI

It Takes a Village

Mili has a long laundry list of local folks who have helped her family with a warm welcome. In addition to the Murphys and Georgia Hobaica Frasch who was one of the creators of the Chappaqua Moms Facebook page, Kathy Boyle, a member of the Chappaqua Recipes with Friends Facebook page has been especially supportive. “Kathy posted that she needed an Indian recipe and I replied and then we began communicating. She doesn’t even live in Chappaqua or Armonk but she was enthusiastic and wanted to meet me. She helped me connect with the Murphys.” Mili also jokes around that she wants to provide a good citizen’s award to Roberta Offenhutter Lasky for having advice on everything from tree removal companies to restaurants. Chandana and Madhu Hugehalli and Jagruti and Neeru Patel also served as liaisons to the wider Indian community. “All of these people had nothing to gain by helping us. They just had a lot of goodness in their hearts.”

Taking Advantage of Living in Armonk

The family is very integrated in the community with Chaithra volunteering as an AYSO soccer coach and Mili volunteering at the Armonk Outdoor Art Show and Naman attending Breezemont Camp during the summers. With a very different climate than Bangalore, the family has been mesmerized by the wintry weather here. “When the blizzard was coming, we stayed up until midnight to watch it.” They’ve also taken Naman for ski lessons at Thunder Ridge. When they have free time, they also like to visit art museums in the city. One of the highlights of living here for Naman has been trick or treating for Halloween on Wampus Street. “Everyone in this town has been so forthcoming and helpful. We’ve really had a very warm welcome,” concludes Mili.

Like the Iyengars, Maira Roversi, an expat from Brazil, loves living in Armonk with her husband Ricardo and her three children, Caio (10) and her 4-year old twins Rafael and Beatriz. The family also brought their dogs Lion, a golden retriever and Minnie, a maltese with them for their Armonk adventure.

Roversi is working for IBM on an L1A visa like Mili and has a two year international assignment with the company. She has worked for IBM for the past two decades in various locations in Brazil. Her first stint in the U.S. was in Raleigh and she loved living in the U.S. so decided to make the move to Armonk in 2016. Ultimately, she hopes to return to Brazil after this assignment is completed but is used to the expat peripatetic lifestyle and is accepting of moving to another location if IBM needs her to transfer.

Roversi loves the fact that her twins saw snow here for the first time. Besides the snowy weather though, the Roversis are outdoor enthusiasts and take full advantage of biking nearby, the parks and playgrounds in town and playing soccer and tennis. Caio is enjoying playing music here and has even performed on the upper level at the local DeCicco’s supermarket while Maira and Ricardo enjoy a beer.

They also love the proximity to the city for family outings and have been to the Natural History Museum, Times Square, basketball games at Madison Square Garden and ice skating at Bryant Park. Like the Iyengars, Halloween happens to be a favorite holiday for her children too who also loved seeing the pumpkins on display at the Great Jack O’Lantern Blaze at Van Cortland Manor.

Facing a Medical Issue as an Expat

Each expat faces different challenges and for Maira she faced a medical issue upon arrival to Armonk. “Even with a very good insurance plan, things here are really different than Brazil and it took a while until the doctors realized that I had kidney stones. It was tough to find some support knowing no one in the area: no referral, no previous experience in terms of hospitals but luckily we figured out how to deal with that and everything is calm again now!”

Maira still considers her family in the discovery mode and is eagerly awaiting the warmer weather. Ricardo practices down hill bike riding and Maira enjoys running outdoors. “With these freezing temperatures, I am not brave enough to go out on the street!” quips Maira. With spring just around the corner, feel free to give a warm welcome to Maira or any one of the expat families featured in this story.

moving

From the Boroughs to the Burbs … and Back