compassion Archives - Inside Chappaqua and Inside Armonk: The Magazines for New and North Castle

Why I Plan to Vote Blue on November 6

October 24, 2018 by Grace Bennett

If there is one thing ‘about me’ I’d want anyone to know about my politics, it is that while I have always been a registered Democrat, I am not hyper-partisan. I am loyal only to the truth. By now, many of you (I hope) won’t be surprised to hear that.

But given the ‘pick your side’ nature of American elections, being a Democrat has always felt more in line with values that include compassion and good will and a sense of generosity toward your fellow man and woman and child.

So let’s talk about what feels ‘most’ wrong two years post Election, 2016.

I feel with every fiber of my being that Trump has been such a big fat horrible mistake for this country. He is worse than the bad dream we envisioned. He is now more the nightmare we can’t wake up from as he has completely divided us, and consequently, we’ve now witnessed an unprecedented escalation of hatred and accompanying violence toward every population, it sometimes seems, except white men and women of privilege.

He has given the fringe, shrill anti Zionist set on the left a window of opportunity to exploit, and I won’t let up on that either. Not as a child of Holocaust survivors whose war-torn parents met and married in Israel, drinking from a Kiddush cup, celebrating their union and their survival against all odds. I will fight to challenge every single politician, blue, red or purple, to support Israel as we move toward 2020, and hope you will too.

For now, however, there’s a bottom line I have come to terms with: Voting for the enabling band of GOPers helps keep ‘him’ in office…and consequently:

* Our health care is on the line.
* Our personal safety is at continuous risk from gun violence and ‘activated’ alt right individuals and gangs.
* The fate of our air and ocean continue to be deeply compromised by this climate science denying bunch.
* The trauma on children inflicted at the border is completely unacceptable and will impact them for a lifetime.
* As a woman who celebrates the hard fought gains made for myself and my sisters, I will not sit back and watch this sexist gang make decisions that could roll back the clock for our daughters.
* I will stand up for my gay and trans friends who are under attack too.

We all deserve better. Much better.

First order of business, change up this very bad hand we’ve been dealt.

#VOTEBLUE on November 6th!

Please keep reminding our youngest voters, too. While I may veer away from making official endorsements, there are times for anyone who cares about our country’s future to speak up, and now feels distinctly like one of those times. I’m grateful I still have freedom of expression to share that thought and a forum in which to do so. There is so much at stake…

Courage & Compassion in Times of Crisis: The Keys to Helping Yourself or Anyone You Know

August 29, 2018 by Geri Mariano

Full Disclosure: I was not an active follower of either Kate Spade or Anthony Bourdain. In this day and age of social media and celebrity, I certainly knew who both were and what each brought to the table, pun intended. I never purchased the eponymous bag that made Miss Spade a household name. I should have been quite a fan of Mr. Bourdain, but truth be told, watching his programs discouraged me in recent years. I was reminded of all I have lost since the first of three major surgeries left me even more mobility impaired than I had been for the first 42+ years of my life. Additional truth be told, I’m a fashionista wanna-be born in the wrong body and a frustrated hostess with the mostess not to mention a grounded adventurer.

The two recent high profile suicides early this summer raised the serious topic of depression once again. It takes the hard to believe self-inflicted deaths of the famous for this to be covered in the news with the exception of occasional reporting on teen suicide as well as the high suicide rate among veterans. The death of beloved Robin Williams highlighted the topic that still today seems taboo. The vast majority of his fans, knowing him only from the small or big screens making us laugh, found it unbelievable that he could be desperately unhappy, depressed. Do we really WANT to know that friends, family or celebrities can be feeling hopeless?

Many who have read my blogs or followed my Just Call Me Geri Facebook page probably know that my Mother (the one who chose me from a newspaper picture), from my earliest consciousness, taught me the importance of not feeling sorry for myself. The message included the tacit warning that no one would like me if I showed self-pity. It was only decades later that I would learn that there is a significant difference between whining and legitimately feeling down due to my circumstances.

By no means have I had the worst life, far from it, but I started life with strikes against me, first being born in a deformed shell with a condition called Diastrophic Dysplasia (some still call it dwarfism) that would embody my soul and personality. Being abandoned in the hospital by biological parents who left instructions behind that “no pictures to be taken of this baby” added 2nd and 3rd strikes, yet I was never out.

I won’t list the entire litany of hardships faced through 50 years but some include:

Being asked why I would want to have a baby and do to them what happened to me;
Being humiliated at a summer camp by someone supposedly to have been family;
Hearing sighs, groans and whispers when people had to help me in/out of cars or up stairs (who’s going to help Geri?”) and to stay away during emergencies;
Being “gently” told I could never provide a home for a man I had feelings for and not to expect to ever get married;
Being “harassed” by a married man who knew I would have little to no other intimate opportunities;
Being belittled and disrespected in hospital facilities when known I was alone;
Having inappropriate medical treatments or not having appropriate medical interventions due to Government restrictions;
Being at mercy of caregivers, who can be rude, rough and larcenous;
Being told I’m too depressing to talk to …

When at 40 I had finally obtained a Master’s Degree to begin a long in trying to figure out career, I was soon stymied, having that career cut short by three surgeries that left me in worse shape than before. The last two surgeries I never would have consented to if I had been warned my mobility would be all but lost completely. I would have opted for shorter life span over non quality of life. When over 10–30 years ago I’d fall into pits of despair, I struggled mightily, conjured up plans, fingering bottles of medication, really my only option. Remembering the haunting conclusion of Edith Wharton’s “Ethan Frome” always prevented me from trying anything self destructive with my car, the only other possible tool at my disposal. Yet, I always dug deep, as far inside as I could to keep the wavering flame from going out. Once such night in the wee hours, I remember sitting on the floor by my bed sobbing with heaving muted screams. What brought me back was thinking of “my kids” and their parents …how would they explain to them that I gave up?

This disclosure can possibly hurt my alternate career in the making …aiming to be a successful inspirational speaker but this is my truth. I cannot be phony. I’m not asking for people to feel sorry for me, but to understand that there are no easy answers.

More additional truth be told, I’d much rather laugh than cry. I actually enjoy having others laugh at my sometimes corny, other times bawdy, humor. I really should find an amateur Stand Up/Sit Down Comedy venue. Ridiculous irony from the universe, I’m rather an extrovert. God couldn’t have made me an agoraphobic?

I have my “highs” when I have several speaking engagements booked but then the “lows” (oxymoronic?) come rising up. (oxymoronic?) when I can’t seem to break through, catch that one break. My life is not one that made headlines because of a national crisis such as the Boston Marathon Bombing. I didn’t lose limbs while fighting for my Country. I didn’t grow up in

the age of social media where Promposals to kids with Special Needs go viral. I do not begrudge today’s kids who benefit from widespread inclusion.

I do not begrudge these later generations of kids who have benefited from widespread inclusion. In fact, I’d like to think I helped pave the way. Perhaps I have been “of use” to quote John Irving’s Dr. Larch.

Depression can take deep hold of anyone. For those suffering, suicide can seem like the only way out. Others may see it as selfish. Feeling like a burden is not easy but once a person has that initial thought, it becomes nearly impossible to erase it from one’s mindset. Please have compassion for those who have left via their own actions. And if you “can handle the truth,” reach out to those who may be struggling. When I encourage students to look after each other, I ask, “wouldn’t you want someone to look after you?” For those who are struggling, please try to let someone know you’re hurting, reach deep down inside and find the courage to reach out for assistance without shame. Keep your flame lit!

The Power of C – More Than A Vitamin at the Center

December 4, 2013 by The Inside Press

By Vicki de Vries

The Cancer Treatment and Wellness Center at Northern Westchester Hospital

This year, an estimated one-and-a-half-million Americans will be diagnosed with some type of cancer, according to the American Cancer Society. That dreaded C word strikes fear in the hearts of the most stalwart among us.

But thanks to the Cancer Treatment and Wellness Center (the Center) at Northern Westchester Hospital, fear has been replaced with relief. And in many cases, healing–as thousands have found what one patient calls “a safe haven.”

What kind of care does every patient in the world want? Most likely, these closely-linked C words: competent, coordinated, customized, convenient, and compassionate, all of which spell e-x-c-e-l-l-e-n-c-e. In the process of touring the Center, speaking with numerous staff members and therapists, along with a few patients, Inside Chappaqua was pleased to discover this word exists nearby.

Skilled Professionals Provide Competent, Customized, Coordinated Care

When it comes to competent care, the Center excels. The therapists and staff are highly trained professionals. Asked how he would describe the team, head oncologist (cancer physician) Dr. Alfred Tinger, who has worked at the Center since it opened in 2005, put it succinctly: “Knowledgeable, personable, dedicated, experienced, eager to serve,” adding that “we certainly strive to make their lives and the lives of their families easier during this time. This is why we exist.”

Any successful enterprise has to maintain careful protocols. Of supreme importance is the accumulation of data about a patient’s cancer profile obtained through either the linear accelerator, which provides radiation treatment to the exact location of the cancer cells, and the gamma knife, which is not a knife at all, but a highly sophisticated, non-invasive device for treating a broad spectrum of brain lesions. Once data has been sent to resident medical physicist, Steve Iorio, he and the staff analyze it to determine the precise dose of radiation needed to treat the cancer and avoid critical organs. Therapists work closely with the technology team to ensure the highest level of quality diagnosis and treatment.

It should be no surprise that after visiting the Center, oncologists from the “sophisticated” hospitals in Manhattan, impressed with equipment and staff, will refer their Westchester patients to the Center for radiation treatments. That endorsement speaks for itself.

A Major Stress Reducer–

Conveniently Located Care

Before the Center opened, cancer patients in Northern Westchester often had to make a long trek to find quality care. Now, with the Center offering the same professional, state-of-the-art care as renowned but more distant hospitals, travel time for these cancer patients has been drastically reduced–and their stress levels as well.

When diagnosed with Cancer, Beth Besen chose to work with a Manhattan-based oncologist who specialized in her rare form of Non-Hodgkin’s lymphoma. Finding travel to the city twice every three weeks for chemotherapy hard enough, she was adamant about finding an alternative place for daily radiation.

Besen was relieved and grateful the Center was able to meet and administer the same quality protocol she’d receive in the city. Soothing surroundings and caring staff made treatment more tolerable, while staying local meant less stress and more time to recover and go about her daily routine.

Setting a Standard for Compassionate Patient Care

Certainly, many fine hospitals provide competent, coordinated, customized, conveniently located cancer care to their patients, but some would argue that compassion is often lacking in healthcare.

The Center proves otherwise. What sets it apart is not only its “high tech” level of competence, but also its “high touch” level of compassion. The staff and the therapists express a strong sense of empathy with their patients. “We’re all family here” is the oft-repeated mantra, but it sounds and seems genuine.

Start with the Twigs Healing Garden. Unlike typically sterile-looking hospital waiting rooms, Twigs reminds one of a spa. Patients await their radiation treatments dressed in waffle-weave robes while sitting on comfortable furniture, surrounded by plants under an atrium-like ceiling that allows light to enter the spacious room. “The setting was designed to be bright and airy to help patients feel more relaxed and confident,” said Adele Gargano, director of the Center. A nearby table holds the Healing Crane Tree, painted tree branches from which hang colorful origami cranes. Hope Soars Over All cards in a glass bowl offer inspirational words, and patients are encouraged to share theirs on blank cards. Bowls of fresh fruit and cookies add a homey touch. Once a week, a pianist plays soothing sounds to enhance the already relaxing atmosphere.

Integrative medicine “modalities” are also incorporated into the Center’s cancer treatment protocol. Anne E. West, the integrative medicine nurse, offers massage, acupuncture, and reflexology to patients who want them. Coordinating medical and integrative treatments in one place saves patients precious time and energy.

Details count, and the Center has worked hard to consider as many as possible. One patient shared with Besen, “when you’re lying scared on the table, look up; notice they even took the time to put tropical flowers above you so you’d have something beautiful to look at.” Details like this may be why customer satisfaction ranks high on the Center’s surveys. One can read all the brochures that an enterprise can produce, but take a look at their “Customer Satisfaction Surveys” for a glimpse of the real deal. The high marks do not surprise Director Gargano, who said: “The patients become like a family here. Everyone surrounds them with warm attention and highly professional care.”

Dr. Tinger commented that while the team is gratified by the many wonderful letters, cards and gifts received from patients and their families “after, and often during, their journey with us,” he is also appreciative “when someone has the courage to inform us how we can do things better.” That level of willingness to improve is another hallmark of a successful enterprise and further accounts for the exceptional quality care.

The counterpart to the treatment side at the Cancer Treatment and Wellness Center is the Health and Wellness Program, which, Dr. Tinger said, is part of the “continuum that helps a patient from any state of health or disease to a better state of health and wellness” and seeks to maximize the benefits of the cancer treatment.

A patient practicing yoga in a free Health & Wellness Program fitness class.

Extending the Benefits of State-of-the-Art Cancer Care

Started in 2011 by Marilyn Leroy-Sterling, who is a nurse practitioner and serves as the program coordinator, the Health-and-Wellness Program owes its existence to the generous donation of a community member who wanted to ensure that all cancer patients have access to supportive therapies that have been shown to reduce stress and aid in the healing process. As a result of that gift and ongoing financial support from both Northern Westchester Hospital and other donors, patients have free access to the many services the program offers.

Marilyn Leroy-Sterling also serves as an integrative health coach, partnering with patients to help them deal with their health, nutrition, fitness and family concerns. On any given day, she might refer a patient to the medically monitored gym that the Hospital maintains at Chappaqua Crossing or to the nutritionist, who creates customized menus, or to the social worker or to the chaplain in the Mind For Wellness support team. Recognizing that writing can be a form of therapy, the program also offers an online journal-writing course.

Whether it’s setting goals or reaching them, Leroy-Sterling is available to help patients improve all aspects of their day-to-day life. In her words: “We provide a prescription to wellness.” Then, after patients complete the Health and Wellness Program, she gives them a comprehensive end-of-treatment summary that details their cancer history, diagnosis, treatment and an “evidence-based” follow-up plan of care—a roadmap to help the patient navigate successfully as a survivor.

Word has gotten out, and more and more cancer patients are participating in the Health and Wellness Program, which also receives high marks in the customer satisfaction surveys. This year, 100% of the respondents credited the program for reducing their stress levels. One such patient is Joanna Cirasella, who had aggressive breast cancer 18 months ago and expressed her appreciation this way in a video: “The love and nurturing are far beyond anything I could have imagined. Right now, I’m cancer free, and that’s all that matters. I could not have done this without them….”

What additional plans does the Center have?

Gargano said: her dream is to develop a survivorship program that further extends the benefits of the health and wellness program. Meanwhile, in the near future, a Health and Wellness Resource Center will be set up to give patients access to health journals and computers, along with practitioners who will be on hand to talk with them. That is another exciting development that will further the “continuum of care in a patient-centered, state-of-the-art community facility,” added Gargano.

Competent, Customized, Coordinated Care–big “C” meets its match in the many “C”s at the Center.

Vicki de Vries is a freelance writer/editor and educator living in Westchester “country.”

Excerpts from the many thank-you notes pinned to the Center’s bulletin board:
Thank you for giving me the strength, love, compassion to deal…One of your staff brought me to the Health and Wellness Program Coordinator.That was when the healing–beyond physical recovery–began for me as a whole person. I was gradually guided…to different people and services…. They helped me in ways I could never have imagined and made all the difference in the world….