I found my soul upon the floor it was hiding behind a few locked doors; of childhood games and yesterdays I stumble on it by mistake. I was looking for some memories of someone I forgot to be.
It looked withered and all washed away like something left over from yesterday. It looked smaller than I remember, shattered by lies and burnt by embers, and it was torn by the lies of love it took me a moment to realize what it was.
I tried to pick it up off the floor by the memories I had before, although it seemed small and very weak the voice seemed stronger when it started to speak. And in its eyes, it did seem to care, but it was not happy to see me there.
Go away you have forgotten! And you left me here in a past to rot in! It showed my shame and let me know I was the one to blame that it had to go.
You once had dreams that made me big; of equal rights and fights to win, and of being fair was for everyone, and how it matters that no job was left undone. And you use to laugh with such abandon, and you helped with hands of innocents and understanding. And how you would fight for what was true, you would always let me always speak to you.
And how everyone that was a friend; you would be loyal with until the end. You use to care for your fellow man and protest and take a stand.”
But I was so young; and there were others, and most fights were not for me but another, it seemed to hard and no one cared and I got tired of being everywhere, I had a life and little time. And youth, that was no friend of mine.
This was my excuse but still my soul pressed; so it was no use I should have guessed.
And your values got eroded. When you got pressured and you got goaded you forgot how to stand for what you believe, I begged you to stand but there was no reprieve.
You turned your back on what you thought was good; and I did the very best I could, and it was hard and as time marched on you heard a louder voice and you were gone. You wanted things I could not give; like green paper from the ATM!
“Well you just don’t understand this life was not what I planned, I have to live, and I have to eat.” Was my defense but I felt defeat.
And you no longer sing, instead you Twitter, you made cyber friends on a book with no real paper. You see plastic people on electronic devices, and you believed their shit they had to write, everything it seemed so fake. But you fell for it, your big mistake. My voice inside it got so small. You no longer cared and I learned to crawl.
But you were with me each and every day. You could have shouted or got me back another way. This is not my fault alone to change a world that I never owned. You could of helped me be true or you could of left and I would of followed you” I justified my misbehavior but my souls true voice it did not waver.
I could not leave because it’s you, and I am just a part, so what did you want me to do. And when you found you could not get to the top you sold pieces of me it just got worse and you would not stop.
The things that you once held dear you pushed aside you longer cared. I saw the little things you use to love get pushed them away for bigger stuff.
You did what they called an upgrade you wanted cars, jewels or better things. You ripped me apart for who you use to be; to be someone else eyes blinded by greed.
I tried to stop you and remind you of what you once believed, but those things no longer mattered and your feelings reprieved. And you had no time to hear from me and I couldn’t fight so I set you free.
You wanted things to you that mattered; and you hushed my tirade and so I went to the shadows. Hoping someday you would remember; but now I wait to die; your soul surrenders.
I felt my being fall apart as I realized what I had lost, I was something I was not and maybe that was my true cost.
I felt my soul start to slip away but before it went it turned to say “What brought you back to this forgotten place?” I looked at this being with my face.
“I forgot what I was to be.”
Then it laugh and said “Well now you see.”
It turned away and went back to the floor and crawled underneath another locked door. And this new door I had not opened yet out of only my fear it was the one marked Regret. I wanted it back; but it didn’t matter, we had our talk and my soul was shattered.
So have you mended your broken soul or has your greed taken control?
Can you pick up off the floor the person you had been before or is it too late to find it yet and is it behind the door Regret. Open the doors and set if free and maybe you can find who you use to be.