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In Remembrance of Deborah Shimer

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In Loving Memoriam

By David Shimer

Deborah Shimer

Remembered as insightful, selfless and supportive, Deborah Shimer—a professional life coach and a decades-long Chappaqua resident—died of cancer on June 29, 2018. She was 54 years old.

Deborah was born in London to Geoffrey and Barbara Nelson on October 2, 1963. In 1979, she moved to New Jersey with her mother and sisters, Margaret and Hilary, eventually becoming a United States citizen.

After graduating from West Windsor High School in 1981, Deborah attended the Katherine Gibbs School in New York and went on to work for Tishman Brothers, a Manhattan-based real estate company, first as executive secretary and then as an assistant project manager.

Deborah moved to Chappaqua in 1989 with her first husband, Robert Fischman. Together, they raised three children: Josh, Zachary and Leandra.

“She always encouraged me and my siblings to do what felt right for us, without judgment, and we were so lucky for that,” Zachary said. “Above all, she taught us to keep an open mind and to do what made us happy.”

Deborah and Robert later divorced, and, in 2013, she married Sam Shimer, also a Chappaqua resident. The couple moved to St. Petersburg, Florida last year.

“She was the kindest, most caring and most loving person I have ever known,” Sam said. “She never compromised—not in our relationship, or in any of her relationships. She always worked to make her life, and our life, better, and she truly wanted everyone she cared about to be happy and fulfilled.”

Friends say Deborah always prioritized the feelings, interests and desires of others above her own.

A few years ago, when Deborah found out that one of her friends, Rosie Battista, planned to spend her birthday alone, Deborah “dropped everything,” Rosie recalled, and drove two hours to meet her for dinner in New Jersey.

“She was the epitome of what a friend should be,” Rosie said. “She always wanted to be happy and to make sure people around her were doing the things that would make them happy. Even as her illness progressed, she kept asking how I was doing. It was just who she was.” 

Throughout her life, Deborah found ways to direct her personal passions toward entrepreneurial endeavors.

First, Deborah turned her attention to nutrition. She attended the Institute of Integrative Nutrition in New York City in 1999 and then started her own business, Food & Balance, to help people adopt healthier eating habits.

But as time progressed, Deborah came to see her mission in broader terms, and to view food as just one component of guiding clients toward more fulfilling lives.

In 2013, Deborah rebranded her business “Desire on Fire” and formally broadened her focus to life coaching. “Her aim was to help her clients lead their best lives, from relationships to parenting to work,” Sam explained. “It was all encompassing for her.”

Through Desire on Fire, Deborah led small support groups—referred to as “Desire on Fire Circles”—consisting of a half dozen women each. Under Deborah’s leadership, participants pushed each other to pursue their passions.

“She spoke her truth during these circles. She was able to tell people what they wouldn’t or couldn’t see for themselves, always in a loving way, but not stopping until she was heard,” said Joy Perlow, one of Deborah’s’ closest friends and a Circle participant. “That was a key part of the Circles: being heard.”

In recent weeks, Joy said that Desire on Fire clients have discussed ways to honor Deborah’s memory, first and foremost by leading their lives as she led hers. “Deborah lived and breathed her business: It’s what she tried to do in her life, find happiness and help other people do the same,” Rosie added.

Deborah Shimer at the Green Olive Children’s Home, Mombasa, Kenya – November 2017

Deborah’s giving nature extended beyond her business: over the past decade, she supported a school for orphans in Kenya called the Green Olive Children’s Home, raising tens of thousands of dollars for the organization and bringing supplies when she visited it each year.

On July 22, family and friends gathered in Naples, Florida to celebrate Deborah. Speakers included her sister, stepbrother, and husband Sam.

“Honey, you were amazingly impactful, powerful beyond words, and most certainly successful in ways that cannot be measured,” Sam said in the closing remarks of the service. “You will be missed, remembered and quoted by so many people, which is the truest measure of what you accomplished both in your work, and in how you lived your life.”

Deborah is survived by her father, Geoffrey Nelson of Mombasa, Kenya; her mother, Barbara Cohen of Naples, Florida; her sister, Margaret Islin of Essex, England; her children, Joshua of New York City, Zachary of Asheville, North Carolina and Leandra of South Salem, New York; and her husband, Sam Shimer of St. Petersburg, Florida.

David Shimer is one of Deborah’s three stepchildren.

 

Deborah’s Top Ten Wisdoms

Deborah’s husband Sam gave a loving tribute at her memorial service on July 22nd in Naples, FL.  A highlight for those who knew Deborah is excerpted below:

Deborah and Sam

Based on my years of conversations with Deborah, what I heard her say to others countless times, as well as my perspective about what she might want me to say, I am going to share the Top Ten things that Deborah would want conveyed to you on her behalf as we are here to remember her today. Of course, it will be without her beautiful accent, which you can imagine as I go through the list. I am sure that you heard many of these from her over the years.

  • Love each other. All of you. Just love each other and the people who matter to you. And not quietly or stoically. Tell each other how you feel and show it with a fierce hug.
  • Speak your truth. Holding things in doesn’t help. If you can say it in a gentle and loving way, try to do so. But speak up. No matter what.
  • Spend time outside, breathe deeply, watch the birds, watch the butterflies. Appreciate nature…without your smart phone!
  • Don’t settle; settling takes the air out of your life. It might be the easy choice–but don’t do it.
  • Laugh about good things; laugh bad things off; just laugh. And let go of anger; be forgiving.
  • Believe in yourself. You are more powerful than you understand; and if you don’t believe it, no one else will either.
  • Food is your fuel–would you put lousy gas in your car? Eat well and take care of yourself.  And, of course, don’t drink diet soda!
  • Be generous–if you have money be generous with it. And we all can be generous with our time. Help people, listen, and care.
  • Don’t wait for tomorrow to do something that you want to do today or some time soon. Trust me.  Take that trip; launch that business; tell someone how you feel.  You can run out of time.
  • Think about me from time to time. I am still here, in your hearts and minds.  If I can help you with a memory or insight, reach out for me.  Listen quietly, and I will answer you.

Discover ‘Kitah Katan’ at Bet Torah Nursery School

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Mount Kisco, NY– Registration is now open for Kitah Katan, Bet Torah Nursery School’s Toddler drop-off  separation program which begins September 6.  Children 18 months and older are eligible to attend.  Families enrolling by August 3 will also be able to attend a new musical Monday morning program from 9:30 to 10:10 in the fall at no charge for caregiver/parent and child.

Kitah Katan is a yearlong program that begins the gentle separation and learning through play on Tuesday  and Thursday mornings from 9:30 to 11:45 am.  Each morning is filled with music, art, movement, indoor and outdoor play. Library and literacy, science and animal programs, specials with our music educator and our movement educator round out each day. Healthy snacks are provided daily.  The program begins in September with family visits and shortened sessions until all students are comfortable and ready to separate, socialize and share by month’s end.

NEW THIS YEAR: Toddlers enrolled by August 3 in our fall Kitah Katan program on Tuesday and Thursday mornings may also attend our Monday Musical Mensch program on Mondays from 9:30-10:10  as our guest this fall through December 17 with our music educator, Pam Gittleman.

For information on registration for our toddler program and our musical Monday program or to inquire about registration for 2s, 3s, and 4s and to arrange a tour of Bet Torah Nursery School, please call 914 666-7595 ext. 110.  Space is limited.

Bet Torah (www.bettorah.org) serves as a leading center for Conservative Judaism in Northern Westchester.

A Transformational Journey

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Jodi Baretz, author of the new ‘Mindful is the New Skinny,’ shared her personal growth experiences at the Chappaqua Library

By Amanda Kraus

Earlier this summer, I sat among an excited, eager crowd in the Chappaqua Library’s auditorium to listen to Jodi Baretz, psychotherapist, health coach, and author, speak about her new book, Mindful is the New Skinny: 10 Transformational Steps to a Lighter You Inside and Out. Baretz discussed the book itself as well as her personal experiences that compelled her to write it, in which she transformed “Junkfood Jodi” to “Baretz for carrots.”

Baretz began her talk with silence; she had the audience try a short meditation so that we could understand how she started her own transformational journey with mindfulness, except the first time she meditated at the Omega Institute five years ago, it was for forty-five minutes.

For Baretz, this was a torturous experience, and she wasn’t afraid to vocalize this–in fact, about half of the group felt the same way. However, over the following five days, the meditations became easier the more she practiced. Baretz explained that meditation isn’t effortless and that it requires focus. Meditation is a brain exercise by which one must acknowledge the thoughts that clutter one’s mind, and let them drift away, focusing purely on the breath.

Much like meditation, mindfulness is being able to feel and process one’s emotions in order to let them go, rather than immediately pushing them away. Baretz explained that we need to be able to deal with being uncomfortable rather than avoiding it altogether.

As a child, Baretz was a terrible eater, leading her to acquire the nickname “Junkfood Jodi.” Her diagnosis of celiac disease in 2003 triggered her transformational journey with food and nutrition, as well as mindfulness and well-being. In 2003, Baretz explained, people didn’t really know what celiac disease was, and gluten-free diets weren’t very common.

As a social worker, Baretz tried to help others with their own gluten-free eating, but soon realized that she knew nothing about nutrition. In 2010 she attended the Institute for Integrative Nutrition where she learned about the mind-body connection, and was exposed to spirituality. For Baretz, being spiritual is a holistic approach to healthy living and being while keeping up with our fast-paced lifestyles and society.

In order to portray this philosophy to others, she decided to write her book, Mindful is the New Skinny: 10 Transformational Steps to a Lighter You Inside and Out. Although Baretz discusses healthy eating and nutrition in her book, she uses the word skinny as a metaphor for perfection — external, unsustainable, and never good enough. Instead of striving for skinny, Baretz encourages being mindful, which entails accepting imperfections and the present moment. Even though the manuscript only took three months for her to write, Baretz hit a mental roadblock, dwelling in the very anxiety, stress, and frustration that she was writing about. She took a short break, acknowledged this, and started writing again with a new mindset.

Much like her book-writing process, Baretz helps women on their nutritional journeys by redirecting their focus from losing weight by dieting to mindful eating and living, which is sustainable and effective. In today’s society, social medias omnipresent and overwhelming influence fosters perfection, stress, and anxiety, mindfulness is more important than ever. “Mindfulness,” said Baretz “is the antidote.” And she’s right. Meditation is being extensively studied medically, and has been proven to affect the brain. Meditation and mindfulness make us more productive, as they allow our minds to reboot and recover from our daily stresses and tribulations. In a sentence, Baretz’s book is all about “Nourishing the inside so you can change the outside.”

Jodi is also a psychotherapist at The Center for Health and Healing in Mt. Kisco. Her book is available on Amazon and at Scattered Books in Chapapqua. Visit http://www.jodibaretz.com for more information about her various programs and events, including her mindfulness bootcamp, her meditation sessions, and speaking engagements.

Inside Press summer intern Amanda Kraus is a rising senior at Tulane University.

Bill Clinton Delivers at Chappaqua Library Signing for ‘The President is Missing’

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July 16, 2018, Chappaqua, NY — Is life mirroring art or is art mirroring life, Bill Clinton was asked–his attention diverted ever so briefly in the midst of signing hundreds of copies today of  ‘The President is Missing,’  a newly acclaimed and reportedly ‘page turner’ political thriller. (I have not read it yet.)

Bill Clinton signing ‘The President is Missing’ at the Chappaqua Library        Photo by Grace Bennett/Inside Press

It is a first novel for Clinton, one that he wrote together with master storyteller James Patterson.* 

Clinton didn’t miss a beat: “Well, a lot of people are saying that a lot of what is going on today is more realistic than my book,” in that fact may indeed be stranger than fiction.

While that may be hard to argue, the event was most decidedly not about the most current events. It was instead a chance for many to simply appreciate and support Chappaqua resident Bill Clinton, our nation’s 42nd president, and his latest writing, as he took time out to meet groups of neighbors and out of town fans who had patiently lined up–each excited for their turn to receive a handshake, to exchange a few words, and of course, receive a signed copy.
 
The Chappaqua Library produced the event in collaboration with Chappaqua’s Scattered Books Bookstore and the Town of New Castle. — Grace Bennett
 The Chappaqua Library’s Rebecca Rogan, Joan Kuhn and Larry D’Amico

*The information below was received earlier from the Chappaqua Library:

Bill Clinton was elected President of the United States in 1992. After two successful terms as president, he left the White House and established the Clinton Foundation, which improves lives across the United States and around the world by working together with partners to create economic opportunity, improve public health, and inspire civic engagement and service. He is the author of several nonfiction works, including MY LIFE, which was a #1 international bestseller. This is his first novel.

James Patterson is the world’s bestselling author, best known for his many enduring fictional characters and series, including Alex Cross, the Women’s Murder Club, Michael Bennett, Maximum Ride, Middle School, I Funny, and Jacky Ha-Ha. Patterson’s writing career is characterized by a single mission: to prove to everyone, from children to adults, that there is no such thing as a person who “doesn’t like to read,” only people who haven’t found the right book. He’s given over a million books to schoolkids and over forty million dollars to support education, and endowed over five thousand college scholarships for teachers. He writes full-time and lives in Florida with his family.

Amy Siskind’s Book ‘The List’ Documents a ‘Chipping Away of our Democracy’

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Standing room only at Amy Siskind’s packed visit to the Mamaroneck Public Library when over 100 visitors arrived to learn more about The List.

By Renee Coscia

“Experts in authoritarianism advise to keep a list of things suddenly changing around you, so you remember.”

Author Amy Siskind holding her book, The List, with Westchester County Executive George Latimer (first on left). To the left of Amy is Catherine Parker, bookseller. and to her right is New York State Assemblyman Steve Otis. Photo by and courtesy of Lori Friedli, Mamaroneck Public Library

 The first time I heard this quote from Amy Siskind, author of The List: A Week by Week Reckoning of Trump’s First Year in November of 2016 we were already experiencing ‘not normal’ things in our democracy.

I clearly remember then President-elect Trump’s attempts to erode our freedom of speech by criticizing The New York Times, Saturday Night Live and the cast of Hamilton.  

Since that time, the chipping away of our democracy has been not so subtle and things that outraged us back then have been normalized. Amy’s quote about authoritarianism echoes in my mind each and every day since that time.  

I’ve been fortunate to have shared conversations with Amy around the changes in our great nation and it was an honor to see her come home to Westchester last evening to host an event at the Mamaroneck Public Library.

The lively 90-minute discussion ranged from the mainstream media not covering all too important topics to how we, the people, can take action to the importance of the 2018 upcoming election to the growing racism and erosion of basic rights to large groups of people.

Amy has a way of inspiring people and the standing room only crowd was invigorated and left last evening ready to take action.

Amy has been and still is my reliable source for the erosion of the America we once knew. Her personal charge to record a week by week decimation of our democracy is truly an act of patriotism.  If you are not following Amy on Twitter or Facebook I encourage you to do so. Get your hands on a copy of her book, so that together we will be able to find our way back to the great nation we know can be.  

‘You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, ‘I lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along.’ Eleanor Roosevelt

Renee Coscia is a life-long Westchester resident living in White Plains with her husband John and Three children, Emily, Jake and Rebecca. Renee has been a teacher in a suburban Westchester public school district for 29 years.