The Inside Press

Magazines serving the communities of Northern Westchester

Marlene Kern Fischer

Finding Gratitude During a Mental Health Crisis

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I really don’t know how it happened. I had some physical, hormonal and emotional stressors early in the summer, which apparently became the perfect storm for an emotional breakdown. My anxiety, which has been a part of me for decades, erupted full force and consumed all of me. It so consumed me that I was unable to function. I stopped eating, sleeping, engaging with the world and felt panicked almost constantly.

On this journey, I have discovered that mental health issues are far more difficult to get a handle on than physical issues, and far more painful. Answers and cures are elusive. But even as I wage this war against my own mind, I realize that I have much to be grateful for.

1. I am grateful and stunned by the number of people who contacted me privately to tell me of their own struggles. Mental health issues are ubiquitous, so much so that it is challenging to get appointments for help because doctors are so busy.

2. I am grateful for an absolutely incredible support system that starts, but does not end, with my family. There are actually no words for how incredible my husband has been. Holding my hand, reassuring me, driving me to appointments, staying up with me countless nights, finding patience for me again and again. My kids, mom and mother-in-law have also been amazing, and their compassion and love has sustained me. I am grateful to be able to rely on my sons, especially my 17-year-old, who has pitched in without complaint and become a man almost overnight. I know this hasn’t been easy for any of them, but they have risen to the challenge.

3. I am grateful for and overwhelmed by the love and support of my extended support system of friends and acquaintances. During this time, through my distress, I have been able to feel, if not always acknowledge, the help from friends and family. I thank everyone who has called, texted or written to inquire about me. I thank those friends who have driven me places when I have not been able to drive myself and been there for me without judgment. I appreciate every gesture, even if I haven’t been able to answer. I’ve had limited ability and energy to reach out but despite that the calls and messages keep coming.

4. I am grateful to have the resources to explore many different kinds of therapies. Here are some of the things I’ve tried thus far; medication, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), Hypnosis (really), meditation, yoga, Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation (TMS), functional medicine, homeopathy and acupuncture. I will weigh in at some point on what helped me the most. Voodoo medicine is not out of the question. And I am mindful that I am extremely lucky to be able to pursue various remedies and to focus on getting well.

Trying to heal has been a full-time job. But just knowing people are out there and are willing to help is a comfort. If you have a friend who is going through something like this, please continue to reach out to them even if you get a tepid or no response. Even when I don’t acknowledge them, friends’ messages mean the world to me. Mental health issues really do take a village.

I hope that by discussing this openly, I can help someone else who is keeping their struggles to themselves. I hope to write at length about my experiences someday soon but I’m still in the middle of this journey I had no desire to take. I know that I can only reflect when I have some perspective and I’m not there yet. I am still battling to find my way back.

I have newfound compassion and respect for anyone who has ever struggled in a similar way. I hope to come out the other side stronger than I was before and be a voice and advocate for others. I hope someday people can openly say, “me too” about their mental health challenges.

Tauk Brings a Taste of the Beach to Armonk

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If you are feeling a little sad that the days are starting to get shorter and cooler, there is something you can do about it. A visit to Tauk, a new restaurant in Armonk Square, may be just what you need to help extend your summer and make you feel as if you’re still at the beach.

Armonk Native

Francis Leone, an Armonk native, has brought the best of Montauk to his new restaurant, which boasts fresh off the boat fish delivered daily. Born into a restaurant family (his uncle owns the Emilio’s of Morris Park the famous pizzeria and Italian restaurant in the Bronx), Leone credits his uncle for teaching him “everything I know about the business.” And after eating at Tauk a few times, I would say he knows a lot.

Casual & Relaxed Atmosphere

The atmosphere at Tauk is relaxed and casual, with the focus on food and fun. Montauk themed artwork adorns the walls inside the bright and inviting interior. There is outdoor seating available, as well. In fact, Tauk boasts one of the largest outdoor seating areas in Armonk. The outdoor patio, designed by Leone himself, will remain open into Fall; outdoor heaters will keep you warm on the cooler Fall evenings. The outdoor area includes couches that make hanging out with friends even more comfortable and inviting.

Varied Menu

The varied menu includes small plates like crispy brussel sprouts (the best I’ve ever had), a delicious yellow fin poke bowl served with tortilla chips and pico de gallo and a wild gulf shrimp cocktail served with the house cocktail sauce. Among their farm fresh salads, the golden and red beets salad is the most popular. And what beach themed restaurant would be complete without chowder? Tauk’s salmon chowder is prepared to perfection. There are also a variety of tacos on the menu, including braised beef, chicken, and crispy or grilled cod which are available in flour tortillas or corn shells.

Best Seller

The number one best seller at Tauk is the Montauk lobster roll, which can be ordered warmed and buttered or chilled with tartar sauce. Paired with a glass of cold Montauk beer, you will swear you can almost hear the surf roll on and off the shore and feel an ocean breeze. Other sumptuous entrees include the cod fish and chips, lobster mac and cheese, steak frites and seared wild salmon. Leone also recommends the burger with special Tauk sauce, which is prepared with organic meat and always fresh local ingredients. One of my family members, who is the pickiest of eaters, was thrilled with the crispy, fresh nachos and perfectly prepared Buffalo chicken wings.

Seasonal Offerings

For the fall, Tauk will add the Tuna-Wich, a thick tuna sandwich prepared by Chef John Poiarkoff, formerly of Restaurant North. Leone reminisced that “When I was a kid, tuna sandwiches were stuffed thick and every restaurant out in Montauk had its own version of it.” He wanted to recreate that memory with his own version here in Armonk.

Local Brews

If you want to hang out at the bar, Tauk’s is well-stocked with a variety of Montauk craft beers, ale and liquor which complement their many other selections. Leone said he “wanted to bring a piece of Manhattan to town” and the bar menu and vibe reflect that desire. There’s a television so that customers can watch the Food Channel or whatever sports game is on.

Dietary Restrictions

The restaurant is more than happy to accommodate dietary restrictions–for example both the tacos and the fish and chips can be made gluten-free, while the brussel sprouts can be made in a vegetarian preparation without bacon. Poiarkoff and his crew are also happy to make modifications on their menu items whenever possible; just speak to your server about any special requests. You will find the staff at Tauk knowledgeable, friendly, attentive and eager to please.

Open Hours

Tauk opens daily for lunch at 11 a.m.; dinner is served until 11 p.m. Monday through Thursday and 9 p.m. on Sundays. (The kitchen is closed between lunch and dinner from 3:00-5:00 p.m.) It’s important to note that Tauk is open until midnight Friday and Saturday, which is perfect for those who prefer to dine on the later side and enjoy a leisurely meal. Reservations are accepted, and take-out is also available.

So, don’t put away your summer whites just yet. If you want to feel as if you’re in Montauk (without the beach traffic) or just looking for a unique dining experience check out Tauk. You won’t be disappointed.   

Area Parking Challenges…and Ways to Alleviate them

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If you have had difficulty finding a parking spot in Armonk or Chappaqua, you are not alone. As both towns have grown, so too have parking problems. Add in the popularity of larger vehicles and SUVs, and parking space is at a premium.

With new businesses coming into the towns and ongoing construction (such as on lower King Street in Chappaqua), finding a spot can be tricky. This is especially true by the train station and in merchant spacing in Chappaqua and on Main Street and at the DeCicco’s lot in Armonk.

The parking limitations make it necessary for the towns to be vigilant about enforcing parking regulations. Community Service Worker Manny Antoniou, who is in charge of parking and traffic in Chappaqua, says the primary reason he issues tickets is for being in a spot too long. He is often stopped by people searching for a spot and suggests that they try the back of the commuter lot where you can pay by plate. He knows that adding more spaces would be the obvious solution but recognized that improving the parking situation needed to be done by “research and survey,” a process which could take a while.

Popular Parking Violations

Other parking violations for which he tickets include parking in two spaces, parking too far from the curb, or in a handicapped spot or fire zone. When asked about whether people who park in two spaces do purposely or not, Antoniou responded that, “Sometimes the offender is simply in a rush but sometimes they do it intentionally to protect a new car from dings.” Antoniou said he can “usually tell” the intentions a parking spot hog has and uses his discretion to ticket. He also urged people to stay off their phones and to “not ignore officers when they are directing traffic.”

In Armonk, the parking situation is not much better. During the midday hours, you may find yourself circling the DeCicco’s lot or scanning Main Street as you drive by in hopes of finding a vacant spot. One store owner in town, who wished to remain anonymous, said, “The biggest problem we have in Armonk is employees parking on Main Street. It’s an issue that needs to be addressed.” If you are willing to walk a bit to your destination (especially now that the weather has finally improved), there are often spots available in the CVS lot or the library parking lot.

New Spots Planned for Armonk

There is some good news on the horizon though; the town is in the process of adding approximately 80 spots behind and next to the Hergenhan Recreation Center, which should help alleviate the parking situation.

Sergeant Huffnagle of the Town of North Castle Police Department said that although parking is definitely a concern, he has found that most people in town are respectful of the handicapped spots. He also noted that with all the restaurants in town, Armonk has become a “culinary hub” and that means more cars parked for longer periods of time.

The North Castle officer in charge of parking marks tires on Main Street, which has a one-hour time limit during the hours between 7 a.m. and 3 p.m. The parking officer is also the animal control officer, so if he has to leave Main Street to deal with a situation with a coyote, raccoon, deer or other animal, you may get lucky and avoid a ticket if you are in a spot for more than an hour. (It is not recommended that you count on him being away, however.)

Parking Lot Etiquette 101

There are things you can do to help the parking situation. As a resident of Armonk for 20 years and a self-proclaimed parking lot maven, below are some helpful tips:

Pull out of your spot in a timely fashion. We all have the urge to check our phones and I know I am not alone in having replied to a text or two while sitting in my car. However, when I have to respond to a text (like when my son asks me to pick him up at school), I try to keep it brief. Composing a 2,000-word e-mail, flat ironing your hair, putting on make-up, or reading a book while someone is waiting for your spot is not cool and will not earn you the Citizen of the Year award.

Leave enough space between your car and the car next to you. Not being as thin as I used to be, when someone parks too close to my car I have had to slither in to the driver’s seat, as well as enter my car through the passenger side, which requires a level of flexibility I do not really possess.

Give cars spaces to parallel park. You can make fun of how badly someone parallel parks, but only after you give them enough room to get into a spot.

In Addition…

To avoid accidents Sergeant Huffnagle wants to remind citizens to “use their signals” when they are planning to park so other drivers are aware of their intentions.

Allow pedestrians to cross the street. We are small friendly towns; Armonk is Frosty the Snowman’s birthplace, for goodness sake. You won’t melt in the ten seconds it takes for someone to cross from the Post Office to Hickory & Tweed.

Huffnagle stated that he thinks people typically do not intend to be discourteous and that most problems arise because, “People are in their own little world and can be oblivious to other peoples’ concerns and time constraints.” I agree and believe that we can each do our part to make the parking and traffic situations in our towns much better.

A Day in My Life of Shopping Locally–in MAY

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Shop Local enthusiast and blogger, Marlene Fischer

 

I prefer to shop locally where, like the song from the television show Cheers says, “Everybody knows my name.” I feel good about living in a small town where the businesses are such an integral part of the fabric of the community.

A typical day in my life in Armonk generally has several stops, starting with Tazza. Most of the lovely people who work at Tazza can attest to the fact that I am one of their most tired customers. They are kind enough not to comment on my disheveled appearance (I am generally still in the clothes in which I slept) as they hand me my iced coffee around 7 a.m. I am a huge fan of the Skinny Muffins (although I’m not sure they have made me any skinnier) and other baked goods, although I also enjoy their delicious oatmeal and their egg and cheese sandwiches for breakfast. I sometimes stop in at Tazza again during the afternoon (when I am more awake) for an iced tea and avocado toast or an acai bowl.

After Tazza (and showering and getting into street clothes), I might swing by Beginnings Bleus for a wardrobe refresh. The sales people at Beginnings are patient and attentive as I try on clothes; they never go for the hard sell and are always honest when I ask, “Does this make me look fat?” I feel like I’m among friends when I am there. They help me find the right jeans, tops and accessories, which help me rock my “mom look.” I recently even got my husband to ditch his baggy old jeans and buy some designer jeans; now he likes Beginnings Blues almost as much as I do! In case you’re wondering, the “cold shoulder” look is still in style and bright colors and Bermuda shorts are on-trend for this spring and summer.

My next stop is Town Center Pharmacy. I have often thought how fortunate we are to have Town Center Pharmacy in Armonk; just last week the owner helped me choose the right allergy meds for my youngest son. It took a while for spring to arrive but now that it has, allergy season is full blown, which means I will be restocking nose spray and eye drops often. I also go there for my favorite hair products and vitamins. I feel like they know me at Town Center Pharmacy and care about me and my family; the old-fashioned service they provide is hard to find these days. If they don’t have something I need, they are happy to try and get it and go above and beyond for their customers every single day.

My not-so-secret shame is my handbag obsession, which means a visit to Luxe to check out their inventory (they get new arrivals almost daily). The ultimate consignment shop, Luxe has a selection of high-end bags such as Chanel, Hermes, Dior and Louis Vuitton. It’s like having a little bit of Madison Ave. right here in town (across from the recreation center). I have sold several bags as well as purchased bags at Luxe. Their merchandise (which also includes clothes and accessories) is always authentic, in great condition and beautifully displayed. Why not sell some of your old stuff to make room for something new you’ve been eyeing? If you need a little retail therapy or just want to talk about bags and browse, Luxe is the perfect place.

Next, I head over to Changes Hair Salon for a much-needed haircut and blow-out to tame my unruly locks. Located in Elide Plaza, the family friendly hair salon has been a part of the Armonk community for 35 years. The staff at Changes is warm, professional and knowledgeable about the latest hairstyles and products. The personal service they provide, as well as the reasonable prices, are the secret to their success and the reason their customers remain so loyal. I myself have been going there for close to 20 years. From their youngest clients to entire bridal parties, the stylists make sure everyone leaves satisfied and looking their best. Whether you need highlights, a haircut, keratin (summer is coming), or simply a blow-out for a special occasion, Changes has you covered.

These are only a few of my favorite places in town which I’ve chosen to highlight. Armonk is filled with many fantastic small stores and restaurants—I feel lucky to have so many options and sometimes feel like I never have to leave our hamlet at all!

To be featured by Marlene in the Inside Press’s next sponsored “A Day in my Life of Shopping Locally–in JUNE,“  email: marlenekf@aol.com

Judy Gilmartin-Willsey of Framings Named Armonk Citizen of the Year

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                                         ‘Judy’      PHOTO BY ROSS EAGLE

The Armonk Chamber of Commerce has chosen Judy Gilmartin-Willsey as its 2018 Citizen of the Year. Judy will be honored at the annual Citizen of the Year golf outing and dinner at The Whippoorwill Club on Tuesday, May 15.

If Judy’s face looks familiar, it’s probably because you know her from Framings of Armonk. Judy and her husband Carter Willsey started the business 28 years ago after working in advertising; the timing was perfect because they wanted to be able to bring their young daughter to work with them. Framings was originally housed on Bedford Road, next to the old lumberyard, and moved to a building located on what is now the DeCicco’s parking lot. The business was then resituated to its current location on the corner of Main Street, where its creative and whimsical windows have been adding character and beauty to downtown Armonk for the past 22 years.

Judy, a graduate of Parsons School of Design, likes to be known as a “yes” person and said she feels it’s her “responsibility to do the best work and contribute to the community.” With a reputation for helping out in any way she can, Judy is involved in a myriad of activities. She is a member of the Grace Notes, an acappella group that performs at nursing homes and assisted living facilities (including the Bristol, located in Armonk), libraries, elementary schools and senior citizen centers throughout the area. Over the years, Judy has mentored the dozens of high school students she has hired to work at Framings. In addition, Judy has helped sponsor and promote the Friends of the North Castle Public Library’s annual Armonk Outdoor Art Show and is committed to helping Armonk businesses grow and thrive. She even leaves used frames and other objects outside her store free for the taking. Her energy and enthusiasm for everything she does is readily apparent to everyone she meets.

One of the things that strikes you when you talk to Judy is her wonderful sense of humor; she loves to laugh and make others laugh as well. It’s a little-known fact that Judy selected Framings’ phone number, 273-4242, because it’s also 273-HAHA. The store used to offer a five percent discount to anyone who came in and told a good joke. Judy said she is considering reinstating the practice despite the fact that customers occasionally tried to take advantage of the offer; she recounted with a chuckle the time someone asked if he could get a 20 percent discount if he told her four jokes.

A co-founder of the Armonk Chamber of Commerce, which was started 15 years ago, Judy is also a co-founder of Friends of Frosty. Originally started as a holiday stroll to celebrate America’s favorite snowman, the Frosty parade has helped put Armonk on the map, with over three thousand people attending the parade this past year. The New York State Department of Tourism named it “one of the holiday events not to miss.”

On being named Citizen of the Year, the humble Judy says that she is “grateful on a lot of levels. I am grateful to be in a town that can support a creative business. At first, I was embarrassed when they told me I had won. But now I think it’s fantastic to be in such good company with the other people who’ve been honored. I will take Carter’s advice and accept [the award] graciously.”

Ed Woodyard, the Chamber’s 2017 Citizen of the Year, said, “Judy’s more than 25 years of dedicated service to the Armonk community make her more than worthy to receive the 2018 Citizen of the Year Award. She and her husband Carter exemplify the personal qualities and provide the outstanding service necessary to build strong customer loyalty and a successful business. Her upbeat energy, good works and positive attitude extend beyond the store itself and into the wider community. Whether it’s her riding her bicycle around town, stopping to chat or waving to friends, Judy’s big smile brings a smile to the lives of everyone who knows her. This award is so well-deserved. Honoring Judy honors all of us.” We couldn’t agree more.

For more information and to purchase tickets to the golf outing, cocktail party and events visit http://www.armonkchamberofcommerce.com/ or call 914-273-2353. All are invited to attend the day of celebration.