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Magazines serving the communities of Northern Westchester
by Inside Press
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by Julia Bialek
In 2012, a Yale student named Marina Keegan wrote an incredible article that gained national attention, titled “The Opposite of Loneliness.” In it, she explored how although there isn’t an exact word for the opposite of loneliness, we can define it through a feeling, writing: “We don’t have a word for the opposite of loneliness, but if we did, I’d say that’s how I feel at Yale.” Keegan sadly lost her life in a car accident only a few days after graduating from Yale, but her words still beautifully describe what makes the school so special. So after Yale’s announcement that it would be joining many universities in closing its campus and conducting classes online in response to the coronavirus pandemic, many of my friends began sharing her article on Facebook as a way to articulate why they felt such sorrow over losing time at school. As I read and re-read her op-ed, I couldn’t help but think about why students, both at Yale and at other universities across the country, were mourning the loss of time at school. And the answer I came up with is that if being at Yale, if being at college, feels like the opposite of loneliness, then not being at school feels like the opposite of memories.
Just over a week ago, Yale bid us adieu and sent us on a generous two-week spring break. As we left campus, there was no official mention of online classes or campus closing. We were sent home during the “in-between phase”: after people began realizing that slowing the spread of the coronavirus may require bold, disruptive action, but before any actions were taken. As I prepared to go home and packed a suitcase, my roommate asked me why I wasn’t taking more of my clothing home with me, why I was leaving my favorite pillow, why I kept my books in my school desk. “It’s only two weeks,” I remember replying. “We’ll be back soon enough.” Thinking back to that moment and how much has rapidly changed since then, I feel a sadness that is hard to describe. There was no way of knowing that it was the abrupt ending to a semester for most, and the abrupt conclusion of their Yale experience for seniors. As I left campus, there was no way of knowing that those last moments were the end to my incredible first year at Yale. And unlike so many students at so many universities, we didn’t get a proper goodbye. We left for spring break fully expecting to return, but for those of us who are lucky enough to have more time there, that return won’t be until August. It’s devastating.
The global situation pertaining to the coronavirus pandemic is evolving rapidly, and it’s scary. People are losing loved ones and losing businesses. People are struggling to support their families as social distancing requires many to stay home from work. The health care system is preparing to be overwhelmed as the United States fails to heed the warnings of history, a history that took place only two weeks ago in nations like South Korea, China, and Italy. The economy is bracing for a massive recession. And – without a doubt less severe, but most pertinent to my situation – hundreds of thousands of college students were sent home to complete the remainder of the semester online. I fully acknowledge that in the grand scheme of this pandemic, having a semester at college cut short doesn’t even come close to the worst of its effects on society. Right now, people are dying and suffering, and the majority of college students will return to our campuses in the fall like we never left. However, the loss of time at school amid this uncertainty just adds to the unsettling nature of this new reality.
For many college students, their university is more than just a place of learning. Perhaps it’s the place where they finally became comfortable with who they were, or found their first love, or understood what it was like to feel safe, understood, and valued. “Going to college” implies more than just going to a physical campus to acquire knowledge; rather, going to college refers to a defined period in our lives – our ‘college years’– full of learning about the world and learning about ourselves, full of friendships and growth, full of moments and memories. We lament the loss of time at school because we lament the loss of all the memories that may have been. The season that the student athletes trained so hard for, but never got to see through. The relationships that perhaps only needed another few weeks of nurturing to become something more. The treasured time for seniors after they finish their exams but before they walk across the stage with their diplomas. The feeling of campus in the spring, when the sadness of goodbyes is balanced by the promise of possibility radiating from the rebirth of the natural world. The big events that form the unique traditions of each campus. The small moments that stay with us, that make our universities feel like home. It is the opposite of memories – those moments that were supposed to be ours but never materialized, now only existing as abstract ideas in our minds of what may have been – that we lament the most.
But we’re home now. Our college quads have been replaced by our backyards. Our lecture halls have been replaced by our living rooms (or our beds for those of us who still need to virtually attend 9 a.m. classes on Zoom). Our roommates and suitemates have been replaced by our family and pets. All of a sudden, nearly overnight, everything is different. We are living in unprecedented times, and there is no playbook for how to proceed. These next couple of months are certainly going to be strange. And for many college students, being away from school means being confronted by challenges regarding their family situation, their health, and their ability to devote time to their schoolwork and access the necessary resources to do so. But despite social distancing and being away from school, no one should feel isolated, and no one should feel alone. Now more than ever, it is all of our jobs to look after ourselves and each other, to check in with and support the people that matter to us, to make the best of these uncertain times.
So now we have a choice. We can spend these next few months contemplating what may have been and feeling sorrow over the moments that never were, or we can take this day by day, feeling grateful for the memories we’ve already made and looking forward to the ones to come. Because for those of us who are lucky enough to have found a place and a group of people who make being away from college so heartbreaking, we have a lot to be grateful for. It’s inevitable, this pandemic will take things from us – all of us. And while we cannot control the loss of what may have been, we can take this time to cherish all the wonderful things that are already ours.
by Ella Ilan
While many high school seniors were swamped with college applications this past fall, Byram Hills Senior Reese Tateo was no exception but she was also busy organizing the first-ever Armonk for Autism 5K race in downtown Armonk. Tateo organized the event along with her parents, Elena and Danny Tateo. Spurred by their love for Reese’s younger brother, Morgan, who has autism, the Tateos hoped to raise autism awareness in the community and raise money for the Byram Hills Special Education Department.
Despite it being a rainy day, about 130 people came to show their support on October 27, 2019 and the Tateos raised over $11,000. Although some registrants stayed home due to the weather, it was still a healthy turnout for their inaugural event.
“In the end, I think the rain added to it because everyone who came was there because they really wanted to support us and not because they were going out for a nice run in great weather,” reflects mom Elena Tateo.
The entire event was full of touching moments. Friends and family pitched in wherever they could, whether unloading bananas or giving out t-shirts. The Tateos met other families with autistic children and people outside of Armonk who have children with autism thanked them via email or donated five dollars to show support. They were delighted to see so many members of the community including Morgan’s classmates, his teacher, his Occupational Therapist, the Byram Hills Director of Special Services Jill Boynton, the Byram Hills Athletic Director Rob Castagna, and the high school football team.
Local businesses such as Hickory & Tweed, Mt. Kisco Seafood, Tazza, and Breezemont Day Camp also offered their support by sponsoring the race. Additional sponsors were featured on their website at armonkforautism.org. Also, a multitude of volunteers donors, plus the town made the race possible.
One of the most memorable moments came at the very end. It was raining hard, water was dripping through the tent, people were clearing out, and Elena was announcing the winners, trying to read their names off a wet paper. Suddenly, they heard there was still a runner out on the road. It was a teenage girl with autism running with her father and brother. The Tateos corralled everyone back to the finish line and everyone enthusiastically obliged. “Everyone was cheering for her in the pouring rain,” recalls Reese. “It was amazing. I just viewed that as a symbol of what we were there for. We got everyone to come back and cheer and she was so happy.”
Reese’s idea to organize a run came to her after watching her father, an avid runner, participate in many races over the years.
“I noticed how many people would run for a cause so I thought it would be great to do it for autism,” Reese says. Danny Tateo has run to support other causes in the past in addition to wearing a shirt at some races with a picture of Morgan that says “I run for my son.”
To tackle the logistics of planning a race, the Tateos sought advice from the organizers of the annual Stayin’ Alive 5K which supports the First Responders of Northern Westchester, and the organizers of Jamie’s 5k Run for Love, in memory of Jamie Love and benefitting the Friends of the North Castle Library.
Reese and her dad chose the course. “We drove with a GPS watch and went on so many different courses planning 3.1 miles,” says Reese.
After consulting with Superintendent Jen Lamia, HC Crittenden Principal Kim Lapple, and Director of Special Services Jill Boynton, the Tateos donated the money towards a kitchenette for the special needs students at the middle school and a greenhouse at the high school. The Tateos were excited to provide something tangible that can help foster independence for Morgan and others like him. The kitchenette is useful in teaching daily life skills and the greenhouse allows the students to learn agricultural skills, job skills, and marketing by growing plants and selling them.
April is World Autism Month and several communities are having wear blue campaigns or are lighting up town monuments blue to raise awareness of autism. The CDC defines autism as a developmental disability that can cause significant social, communication and behavioral challenges. The CDC found in 2018 that approximately 1 in 59 children in the US is diagnosed with an autism spectrum disorder.
Living with a brother with autism has given Reese a special perspective. Morgan was diagnosed at a very young age so Reese never really knew a brother without autism. “I just grew up with autism. People ask me if it’s weird but I know no differently,” explains Reese. “I would watch him a lot while my parents were at work and couldn’t go to many after-school activities because I had to come home and look after him. That was different than a lot of people’s lives but he’s my brother and I love him.”
“She’s the best big sister you can ask for,” says Elena. “Morgan is smart and has a funny sense of humor. His biggest challenges are language and communication. We were excited about doing the race in our community because Morgan has become more integrated in the middle school than he was in the lower schools and we’ve noticed his peers be so accepting of him, which is amazing. He does track at school and even participated in the 1.5 mile loop at the race.”
Reese passionately reminds us, “if you see a kid that’s not socially outgoing or looks uncomfortable, reach out and be nice to them and don’t look down on them for not knowing how to act or speak.”
“It’s important for parents to always strongly advocate for their children and it’s an ongoing life-long process,” says Elena. “Parents need to network, educate themselves about what their children need, and think about planning for the future early on. We also have to remember to be inclusive, be kind, and recognize that everyone counts. I love Temple Grandin’s quote about being “different, not less.” I think that is how our society should consider all people, with or without a disability.”
Reese and her dad have already started planning for next year’s race. “We have to fight for those who can’t fight for themselves,” says Danny.
For more information, visit www.armonkforautism.org or for race-specific questions email reesetateto@armonkforautism.org.
I was having a stressful morning. No further elaboration needed, but stepping into the Tateo household, the sheer warmth and welcome I felt made that all instantly dissolve. I had arrived for the cover photo shoot with Cathy Pinsky who was assigned to capture the amazing family behind North Castle’s annual Armonk for Autism 5k with photos to accompany Ella Ilan’s article. For the last couple years, I’d noticed signs all over town alerting residents to the walk. We finally decided to delve a little deeper in time for April which is World Autism Month–finding out that the walk was Morgan’s sister Reese’s idea and that she spearheaded it only made this family’s efforts that much more poignant. Kudos to the Tateos for building greater awareness and for fostering community too. In the meantime, spring is in full swing. We have a couple unique ‘Happenings’ suggestions and ‘so much more’ in these pages. We are also hard at work on May and June editions. As usual, we welcome your ideas and your support, too. Write to grace@insidepress.com
When Kristen Browde’s son Theo came home from Horace Greeley, where he’s a sophomore, and told her about a second mandatory lockdown drill, Browde said her decision was made up to run for state assembly in New York’s 93rd district. “This generation has grown up with the fear that their school could be next.”
Browde, who has sat on the Chappaqua School Board’s financial advisory committee for almost ten years, said one of the things the committee often has talked about is how to “harden” our schools, but her contention is that security measures inside schools are not nearly enough.
“It remains easier in New York, in spite of our SAFE Act and red flag laws and all the progress we have made, to buy a high powered weapon–a military style weapon–and ammunition, than it is to buy a pack of Sudafed–and that is just wrong.”
A former TV broadcaster, Browde cited experience that includes decades of effective lobbying in Albany as a national and local officer for and on behalf of The American Federation of Television and Radio Artists (now SAG-AFTRA). She worked on legislation to ban the use of non-compete contracts that kept industry salaries low or stagnating.
“When I worked at Channel Five and Channel Four, the broadcast companies would put a non-compete clause into our contracts. This would say ‘even after you leave my station, you cannot go to work for anybody else in this market for a certain amount of time.’ The result of that was that the employee’s bargaining power was substantially reduced because you would have to sit out six months or even a year without a salary–and that is how they kept you where you were at a lower salary, too. “It took seven years to get it passed. Back then, the Republicans were controlling the state legislature.” Browde proudly stated that she finally helped pass the Broadcast Employees Freedom to Work Act.
“And now that the State Senate (a last bastion of the Republicans), has flipped, all of a sudden, bills that had been bottled up for years… were finally able to be brought to the floor and enacted into laws signed by Governor Cuomo.
“In recent years I have had the opportunity to build relationships with people like the Governor and with the leaders of both houses, in the course of working on these issues. I know who they are and who we need to work with to make changes happen.”
Gun violence prevention will be her top priority. “Every parent who puts their kid on a school bus in the morning wants one thing–to get that kid back at the end of the day. It is not just the kids that are growing up with this fear, parents are as well. We are having to spend huge sums of money on school security… But if we can protect just a little bit more and at no cost, we ought to be doing that… Do the background checks and do the positive identification. You don’t stop with the weapons; it’s about the ammunition too. Moms Demand Action has a tremendous legislative program, so does the Brady Campaign. Both have absolutely solid things that this legislation should be working on in the next session.”
Browde cited another critically important legislative task ahead: redistricting.
“We are going to have a census. It is almost certain that New York is going to lose a Congressional seat… Nita Lowey’s seat is a pretty safe Democratic seat. Sean Patrick Maloney’s is not. There are lines that are almost certainly going to be redrawn… We will need to protect the sanctity one person, one vote, rather than protect the sanctity of an individual politician. We have seen that in places like North Carolina what happens when you have tremendously gerrymandered districts that pack all the Democrats into one tiny little area: the Republicans, even though they are only 50% of the state, control 75-80% of the Congressional seats. We can’t let that happen anymore.”
The conversation veered into today’s antisemitism which hits close to home for Browde. “My father’s family fled Germany on Kristallnacht and his dad, my grandfather, didn’t get out, but his mom did.”
“Whether it is, anti-Jewish, anti-Black, anti-Hispanic, we have to use every single resource that is humanly possible to bring to bear to battle hate… That’s a conversation that we in New York can start. Frankly, we in New York have the biggest problem with it right now.
At this juncture, Peter Moses, Browde’s campaign advisor and a longtime journalist himself, pointed to Browde being “incisive, direct, and a listener” as key strengths during her media career. It’s that same skill set, he said, that helped her pass legislation in Albany.
“It is why (Westchester County Executive) George Latimer has her on a couple of committees. The fact that she’s really bright may have influenced him, but what keeps her there, what she keeps bringing to the table with all the new roles she takes on, is her ability to communicate and listen.”
“I’ve gone from reporter to divorce lawyer, which I used to describe as combining the two least respected professions in America into one stellar career, Now I’m adding politician, so it’s a trifecta,” Browde chimed in with a smile.
“As a divorce lawyer, you are dealing with people who at one point said they love each other and now can’t see eye to eye about anything and you are trying to bring them together to a settlement that they can both live with. When you are doing a job of a legislator, or let’s say, someone who is trying to persuade other legislators to come over to your side, you are doing the same thing. People who want the same thin–which is the best for the people of the state of New York.”
“I’m also trying to figure out what the other person really needs, because frankly, while I don’t agree with the policy positions espoused by most Republicans, the fact is I don’t think they are bad people. I just think they have a different view of what is best…there are common points and if we can get together on those common points, then that is fine.
Browde reminded me too that “the sticking point right now is not the Republicans. In Albany today, Democrats control all three houses, the two houses of the legislature and the Governor’s mansion, which are the three critical points of power in Albany. The problem is that the Democrats in the Assembly often can’t reach an agreement. I’m pretty good at getting Democrats together… and have worked with people across the party, from the extreme left to the more conservative members of the party… and we got bills through and we got bills signed.”
“It is less about policy differences than effectiveness,” said Browde. “What I have shown is that first off, I don’t stop. I don’t stop. I am good at bringing people together who don’t start agreeing… the only effective way to work in a legislative setting is to build coalitions.”
Browde shared her optimism in the challenge to win the seat with “approximately 90,000 registered voters stretched out from Harrison and White Plains up to the Connecticut line.”
“I am not Michael Bloomberg, I am not self-financing, so we are doing the same thing that everybody else is which is raising money through various Democratic Party channels: “People get fired up about my campaign–they’re visiting us at KristenForNY93.com. People are energized about the political process in general right now. The June 23rd primary is the focus right this minute, and then it is off to November!”
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