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memories

‘Memories Live Here’

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Maggie sipped her tea, then said, “But I’ve lived here for 45 years. This is my home. All my memories live here.”

This is just a scene from my recently published novel, Memories Live Here. Maggie is just a fictional character. 

Despite its title, Memories Live Here (available on Amazon and locally at Scattered Books) is not a book about “memories” of my life in Chappaqua or Brooklyn or Chicago or any of the other places I’ve lived. It’s a thriller mystery and family drama about three brothers who uncover their dead mother’s diaries (her friend Maggie’s been keeping them), and how a “rendezvous” with artificial intelligence helps them discover the hidden truth behind their father’s mysterious death. While not autobiographical, each character does seem to carry traits of the people I’ve known throughout my life.

Two years removed from our life in Chappaqua, I realize the title of my book is very much true. Our “memories” do reside in the places we’ve lived, ready to jump back into our heads.

My wife Hildy and I raised our two children on Deerfield Road, where we lived for over twenty years. In Chappaqua, I often thought my nickname was “Oh, you’re Hildy’s husband!” After all, Hildy was the recognizable figure around town: Board member of the Horace Greeley Scholarship Fund, substitute nurse at Roaring Brook, car-pool mom, not to mention head lice checker. Hildy was everywhere.

As for me, I had the typical crazy, high pressure job. Even if you didn’t know me, you had to recognize the pattern. You know, I was the one who worked long hours; hosted too many client dinners; amassed frequent flier miles. 

But when my day or week was done, I was always comforted to come home to Deerfield Road, turn everything off, and just be “Hildy’s husband” and “Noah and Perri’s dad.” Our home in Chappaqua was a place to decompress, do the dishes, play in the snow, go for long walks, drive the kids around to whatever activity of the day, enjoy family meals. I felt so fortunate. It was a great time in our lives. 

Every time I return to town, whether to pick up food at Old Stone or eat with friends at Le Jardin (“outside, please, Joe”), memories from the past are “triggered,” and multiple scenes emerge from the recesses of my mind.

I blinked my eyes and the children became adults and moved on to follow their own passions.Yet still, every time I return to town, whether to pick up food at Old Stone or eat with friends at Le Jardin (“outside, please, Joe”), memories from the past are “triggered,” and multiple scenes emerge from the recesses of my mind. 

Driving down King Street, I can still see Noah and Perri coming out of the old Chappaqua diner, or running around the baseball and softball diamonds in front of Bell Middle School. Making my way up route 120, I can see my two dogs, Pixie and Clyde, racing and splashing through the wooded trails of Gedney Park; and that’s my family cruising up the north county bike trail. On the ballfield behind Rocky’s, there I am with the neighborhood guys playing touch football (I still have my “Deerfield and Dave” baseball cap). 

Even scary memories can conjure up positive reflections. For me, it’s the scene of my car accident where Reader’s Digest Road crosses the Saw Mill Parkway (Please, everyone. Look both ways, even after that light turns green)! While I walked away with minor bruises from that collison, I can still see those professional and dedicated volunteers from the Chappaqua Volunteer Ambulance Corp. coming to help. I will always be grateful.

These days, in the words of John Lennon, I’m “no longer riding on the merry-go-round.” While Hildy started a private geriatric care management practice, I get to spend my time traveling on a path full of stories and characters and ideas, certain there are more books to write in the years ahead. 

As far as the past, well, I’m comforted to know my memories will always be there, waiting for me in Chappaqua.

The Joy of Growing Up Here and the Beauty of Returning Home to Chappaqua

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The Sense of Community ‘Boomerangs’ Feel has Been Heightened During this Time of Coronavirus

Chappaqua, NY — Townies. Every town has them. Here, maybe they are those who frequent The Kittle House every weekend for brunch or those who go to Wednesday night summer concerts even when it’s raining and they’re held indoors – the loyalist of fans.

The author’s father, Gary Klein

What many people don’t realize is that each town is made up of the Real Townies, the Boomerangs. The people who were born and raised, scored their first goal, had their first kiss, went to prom and graduated from high school all in the same town, returning so their kids could do the same.

Try imagining Chappaqua without a nail salon or pizza place around every corner. It’s hard, but that’s what these Boomerangs had to grow up with. They had Family Britches for their suit needs and Lickety Split for their sweet hankerings.

Of course, ever since COVID-19, we have all been living like a Boomerang without having access to the nail salons or the luxury of walking into Lange’s and seeing everybody we know. Despite losing all of our typical routines and days, it’s not so hard knowing that we are living in an incredibly united community.

Just look at how the town came together to help raise funds to support local restaurants and healthcare workers. Within a week, we were able to raise over $60,000. It’s now been almost a month and over $100,000 and 3,000 meals have been provided!

Eileen Kloper Cohen, a Greeley graduate and current Chappaqua resident, is grateful to be living in a community like ours in a time like this.

“I see many Facebook groups formed quickly to contribute to the critical mask making efforts. People sharing sewing machines, fabrics, elastics and other supplies to help in this. I see a new Chappaqua Facebook page to help others in our town with information which has been changing each day. Where to find specific items that are hard to find, where you can drive up and not get out of your car, and things like that. I do see people pulling together and trying to help one another.”

I personally had a hard time growing up understanding the “hype” around living here. I’ve grown up in a house that is 1.2 miles down the road from my dad’s childhood home. I’ve heard about the ‘crazy’ times my dad and his friends had at ‘that house’ down ‘that road’ on ‘that night’ back in the 80’s. I’ve asked my dad, why? Why do we live here, when we could be living anywhere else?

His answer was simple. “It was nice to have my parents be able to babysit whenever I wanted.” Good one Dad. Besides that perk, the proximity to the city and the memories of his great childhood made him realize that’s what he wanted his children to experience too.

Although most can’t imagine leaving their childhood home to simply relocate to a new one down the road, lots did it.

Beecher Flooks Funeral Home
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One of those kids was Cohen, Greeley ‘85. “I thought I was leaving not to be back except to visit my parents. We ended up buying a house from somebody who I used to carpool with to religious school and I ended up moving a mile and a half from my parents.”

While raising three kids here, she watched the town grow bigger, more organized and backed with more community support. Most importantly, Cohen wanted her kids to experience the amazing, competitive education that she did.

“All the reasons people choose to live in Chappaqua now are the same reasons people did back then.” And like her daughter’s senior musical production of High School Musical this year said, “we are all in this together!”

Julie Langer Lowitz (right) and her best friend Cathy Volpato Forstl

Julie Langer Lowitz, Greeley ‘84, is yet another local who gravitated toward Chappaqua because of her parents and how much she loved it as a kid.

The sense of community that Chappaqua provides in times of need, such as power outages or bus stop emergencies is Lowitz’s favorite part about raising a family here.

“We have met so many wonderful people since 1995 when we bought our house – they feel like family…”

Naturally, there are differences in the childhood memories of someone who grew up here now versus then. Lowitz noted the increase of traffic, houses and people, and Cohen mentioned the build-up of developments such as Hardscrabble Lake and Random Farms – which makes me wonder, where did people go trick or treating back then without those two?!

In terms of socializing, Cohen reminisced about the Wampus Pond parties, seeing bands play or simply meeting in town to get candy. Now, “it seems as if people need to be more stimulated,” to have fun.

Eric Green, ‘88, moved back for both the sense of community and the schooling, and he feels as if our town’s school does a great job of embodying both of those things. “Greeley is one of the most unique high schools anywhere… [It] recreationally, educationally and socially [gets] you prepared for what is next,” he said.

What’s next for the upcoming generation of Boomerangs? We’ll see.

I for one, couldn’t wait to get out of town when I was growing up. I was tired of being surrounded by the same people and hearing the same things. However, after going away to college, each time I come home I love it more and more. I started to think, “Oh man, I’m going to end up here, aren’t I?” Mom, Dad, start looking for houses about a mile down the road; you’re not getting rid of me that easy.

As for now, I’ll just savor each moment I return. And until I can leave my house again, I guess I will savor each moment that I am quarantined here! Soon, I will be able to see everyone I know in the Walgreens parking lot, get french toast from Le Jardin and of course, a Klein sandwich from Lange’s.

 

When College Ends Abruptly

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Offering a larger perspective too, Julia Bialek documents the “abrupt goodbye from Yale”–and feelings of loss and longing due to a short-circuited semester caused by COVID-19 campus closures and dismissals.

PHOTO by: Alison Zerbib

In 2012, a Yale student named Marina Keegan wrote an incredible article that gained national attention, titled “The Opposite of Loneliness.” In it, she explored how although there isn’t an exact word for the opposite of loneliness, we can define it through a feeling, writing: “We don’t have a word for the opposite of loneliness, but if we did, I’d say that’s how I feel at Yale.” Keegan sadly lost her life in a car accident only a few days after graduating from Yale, but her words still beautifully describe what makes the school so special. So after Yale’s announcement that it would be joining many universities in closing its campus and conducting classes online in response to the coronavirus pandemic, many of my friends began sharing her article on Facebook as a way to articulate why they felt such sorrow over losing time at school. As I read and re-read her op-ed, I couldn’t help but think about why students, both at Yale and at other universities across the country, were mourning the loss of time at school. And the answer I came up with is that if being at Yale, if being at college, feels like the opposite of loneliness, then not being at school feels like the opposite of memories.

Just over a week ago, Yale bid us adieu and sent us on a generous two-week spring break. As we left campus, there was no official mention of online classes or campus closing. We were sent home during the “in-between phase”: after people began realizing that slowing the spread of the coronavirus may require bold, disruptive action, but before any actions were taken. As I prepared to go home and packed a suitcase, my roommate asked me why I wasn’t taking more of my clothing home with me, why I was leaving my favorite pillow, why I kept my books in my school desk. “It’s only two weeks,” I remember replying. “We’ll be back soon enough.” Thinking back to that moment and how much has rapidly changed since then, I feel a sadness that is hard to describe. There was no way of knowing that it was the abrupt ending to a semester for most, and the abrupt conclusion of their Yale experience for seniors. As I left campus, there was no way of knowing that those last moments were the end to my incredible first year at Yale. And unlike so many students at so many universities, we didn’t get a proper goodbye. We left for spring break fully expecting to return, but for those of us who are lucky enough to have more time there, that return won’t be until August. It’s devastating.

The global situation pertaining to the coronavirus pandemic is evolving rapidly, and it’s scary. People are losing loved ones and losing businesses. People are struggling to support their families as social distancing requires many to stay home from work. The health care system is preparing to be overwhelmed as the United States fails to heed the warnings of history, a history that took place only two weeks ago in nations like South Korea, China, and Italy. The economy is bracing for a massive recession. And – without a doubt less severe, but most pertinent to my situation – hundreds of thousands of college students were sent home to complete the remainder of the semester online. I fully acknowledge that in the grand scheme of this pandemic, having a semester at college cut short doesn’t even come close to the worst of its effects on society. Right now, people are dying and suffering, and the majority of college students will return to our campuses in the fall like we never left. However, the loss of time at school amid this uncertainty just adds to the unsettling nature of this new reality.

PHOTO by: Alison Zerbib

For many college students, their university is more than just a place of learning. Perhaps it’s the place where they finally became comfortable with who they were, or found their first love, or understood what it was like to feel safe, understood, and valued. “Going to college” implies more than just going to a physical campus to acquire knowledge; rather, going to college refers to a defined period in our lives – our ‘college years’– full of learning about the world and learning about ourselves, full of friendships and growth, full of moments and memories. We lament the loss of time at school because we lament the loss of all the memories that may have been. The season that the student athletes trained so hard for, but never got to see through. The relationships that perhaps only needed another few weeks of nurturing to become something more. The treasured time for seniors after they finish their exams but before they walk across the stage with their diplomas. The feeling of campus in the spring, when the sadness of goodbyes is balanced by the promise of possibility radiating from the rebirth of the natural world. The big events that form the unique traditions of each campus. The small moments that stay with us, that make our universities feel like home. It is the opposite of memories – those moments that were supposed to be ours but never materialized, now only existing as abstract ideas in our minds of what may have been – that we lament the most.

But we’re home now. Our college quads have been replaced by our backyards. Our lecture halls have been replaced by our living rooms (or our beds for those of us who still need to virtually attend 9 a.m. classes on Zoom). Our roommates and suitemates have been replaced by our family and pets. All of a sudden, nearly overnight, everything is different. We are living in unprecedented times, and there is no playbook for how to proceed. These next couple of months are certainly going to be strange. And for many college students, being away from school means being confronted by challenges regarding their family situation, their health, and their ability to devote time to their schoolwork and access the necessary resources to do so. But despite social distancing and being away from school, no one should feel isolated, and no one should feel alone. Now more than ever, it is all of our jobs to look after ourselves and each other, to check in with and support the people that matter to us, to make the best of these uncertain times.

So now we have a choice. We can spend these next few months contemplating what may have been and feeling sorrow over the moments that never were, or we can take this day by day, feeling grateful for the memories we’ve already made and looking forward to the ones to come. Because for those of us who are lucky enough to have found a place and a group of people who make being away from college so heartbreaking, we have a lot to be grateful for. It’s inevitable, this pandemic will take things from us – all of us. And while we cannot control the loss of what may have been, we can take this time to cherish all the wonderful things that are already ours.

Making Holiday Memories: Inspiring Ideas for Families

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The holiday season is upon us and it’s time to shop, plan celebrations and also enjoy all our communities have to offer at this special time. Here are a few ideas to help celebrate and enjoy the season all while having fun locally:

1. From Friday, Dec. 13, to Sunday, Dec. 15, in Chappaqua, shop artists’ special pop-ups between the King Street Studio and The Art Closet Gallery in the loft at Family Britches. The kickoff will take place in conjunction with the downtown Chappaqua Wine Around Town event on Dec. 13 from 5-8 p.m.

2. For a break from all the preparations the holidays entail, check out the Jane Condon Holiday Comedy Show at Armonk’s Whippoorwill Theater on Saturday, Dec. 7 at 7:30 p.m. Rabbi Josh Strom of Congregation B’nai Yisrael will emcee the evening, which will also include a performance by Boston-based comic Kathe Farris. Tickets are available at eventbrite.com.

3. Westchester’s Winter Wonderland returns this year to Kensico Dam Plaza in Valhalla. Hours and days vary now through Jan. 4, winterwonderland.com for more info. There’s a circus, ice skating, rides and more. Tickets are $20 for ages 3 and up.

4. While the menorah lighting as well as a tree lighting already took place in Armonk on Frosty Day, before this issue went to press, the details of Chappaqua’s menorah lighting ceremony had not yet been firmed up. Ike Kuzio, superintendent of New Castle Recreation and Parks, said residents can keep abreast of this important annual event at Chappaqua’s community center by checking in on the town’s website.

5. Enjoy a screening of a Big Band Holiday program from Jazz at Lincoln Center in the New Castle Town Hall Assembly Room. The program runs from 6:30-9, p.m. Friday, Dec. 6 starting with refreshments provided by the Friends of the Chappaqua Library and will feature songs both “sacred and secular.”

6. Or attend The Movies’ Greatest Christmas Songs on Sunday Dec. 8 at 2 p.m. at the New Castle Community Center on Senter Street. Jon Reichman will use film clips, photos and piano performance to explore the history of famous holiday tunes White Christmas, Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas and Silver Bells.

7. Have yourself a historic Christmas. Visit the Horace Greeley House on Saturday Dec. 7, where a crafts workshop will be held from 4 to 6 p.m. and a tree lighting at 5 p.m. will be accompanied by the Horace Greeley High School Madrigal Choir leading carols, and a visit from Santa.

8. Why not spend some time in early December learning about the traditions of various cultures, communities and religions? Besides boasting many resources for learning about Christmas and Chanukah, the North Castle Public Library has several books about Kwanzaa (Dec. 26-Jan. 1) and a CD of Kwanzaa music for loan. The Chappaqua Library also offers a book about the Hindu festival of Diwali (this year, celebrated already in October), titles about Chinese New Year, and more.

9. To offset the effects of kugel and cookies, give snowshoeing a try. Skip Beitzel, owner of Hickory & Tweed in Armonk, said “Snowshoeing is great. My adage for snowshoeing is, ‘snow and they will go.’” Beitzel, whose shop sells snowshoes for all ages, said his customers snowshoe on local golf courses or on the bike path that runs through Millwood. Those seeking a more arduous experience may even take their snowshoes to ski areas to use them when climbing uphill. “Why not snowshoe as a family?” Beitzel said, since after all many families ski together, and snowshoeing can be done easily and locally–providing there’s snow.

10. Or plan a family hike to The Eugene and Agnes Meyer Preserve, a 247-acre spot with more than six miles of color-coded trails. Spanning New Castle and North Castle, the preserve has kiosks at each entrance to help visitors plan their hikes. For more outdoor appreciation, make the Christmas Bird Count a part of your family’s December traditions (find dates and locations on audubon.org) – or even closer to home, join Cornell’s Project Feeder Watch (join.birds.cornell.edu) and find out how families can contribute meaningfully to important statistics on birds and migration patterns. It’s not too late to join this information-collecting effort, which will get you through the winter and into spring.

New Castle Sports: Variety and Life Long Memories Available

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For many New Castle families, life revolves around active sports schedules for their children and sometimes, for mom and/or dad, too. Sports participation can be a positive and health enhancing family bonding experience creating cherished memories, new friendships, and lifelong lessons about good sportsmanship. In New Castle, choices abound including baseball/softball, basketball, cheerleading, cross country/track and field, field hockey, football, lacrosse, swim & dive, tennis and volleyball.

Various organizations such as the American Youth Soccer Organization and the Greeley Youth Lacrosse Association are examples of local organizations which support New Castle children and their families engaged in these sports.

American Youth Soccer Organization (AYSO) – Chappaqua Chapter

The Chappaqua chapter of the American Youth Soccer Organization (AYSO). Their mission is to develop and deliver a high-quality youth soccer program which enrich the lives of children 4-18 years of age. The program promotes a fun, family environment built on the foundation of their Six Philosophies: everyone plays, balanced teams, open registration, positive coaching, good sportsmanship and player development. Coaches and referees are made up entirely of volunteers. chappaquaayso.org

Greeley Youth Lacrosse Association (GYL)

Greeley Youth Lacrosse is a privately funded youth lacrosse organization whose mission is to provide girls and boys youth lacrosse programs that inspire participation while protecting the integrity of the game and to provide the New Castle community with the opportunity to participate in the game of lacrosse. GYL strives to help players develop their skills in a safe and fun environment while placing higher value on sportsmanship and learning, rather than solely on winning.  Through positive and effective leadership every child has the opportunity to discover, learn, participate and develop a love and passion for the game of Lacrosse. greeleyyouthlacrosse.com

For additional information or resources about youth sports, contact the Chappaqua Central School District or the Town of New Castle Recreation and Parks Department. Town Hall is also an excellent resource for information about adult sports including New Castle’s baseball leagues.