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Magazines serving the communities of Northern Westchester

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Reclaiming Motherhood

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Sabra Staudenmaier  PHOTO By Carolyn Simpson

As a small girl, I had big ideas about being a mom on Mother’s Day.  The day would begin with breakfast served to me in bed by little ones in matching pajamas. We would cuddle together as I opened crafty gifts and read homemade cards. We would spend the day enjoying the beauty of our bond. It would be the best day of the year. A celebration of togetherness.

When I became a mom and Mother’s Day came around, a celebration was the last thing on my mind. What was there to celebrate? The never-ending pile of laundry I faced daily? The ever-present crumbs on the floor of my car? Yes, I loved my kids. But motherhood,  at least my motherhood, not so much. Reality came with a mess in the kitchen from breakfast preparation. There was glitter all over my bed from the home-made cards. Even more work that I didn’t want to be doing. What I wanted on Mother’s Day was a break from it all. I was trying to survive; I didn’t have the energy to celebrate. 

Before becoming a mom, I saw the role as a powerful place to be. I saw the mother as the leader of the home, loved and respected for her guidance. After a decade and a half, I was experiencing the opposite of this. I felt disempowered. How could I be strong doing something that was so draining? A 24- hour, seven days a week job with no vacation. Three kids taking turns having meltdowns and making messes all over the place. I didn’t need to celebrate motherhood, I needed to be rescued from it. 

What was happening? 

I was teetering on the edge of burnout. I had been so focused on my role as a mom that   I stopped taking care of myself. I thought that a good mom was one who sacrifices herself for her family. All I needed was for my kids to be ok and that would somehow make everything else, including me, ok. I was clearly doing something wrong. I could feel my foundation crumbling. 

The problem wasn’t motherhood, it was the way I was doing it. I was looking at it from the top down. It was like I was building a building starting at the penthouse floor when I needed to start at the foundation. I was the foundation.

I knew something had to change. The quality of my life depended on it. I had to start taking better care of myself. Once I understood this, I was able to rebuild my motherhood by strengthening myself.

The first step I took was I started lifting weights three to five times each week.  I became physically strong, and physical strength set me on the right track. My mood improved. From there, my entire motherhood fell into line. I became the manager of my house, delegating housework rather than doing it all. I took control of my finances. I built new skills. I rested and recovered as needed. 

And then what happened? My motherhood experience transformed from one of disempowerment to one of strength. When I felt physically strong, I felt capable. Every aspect of my life began to bloom. I was in a role I didn’t need to escape from, not even for one day.

Motherhood is a big job, and the circumstances continue to change. While old issues remain new ones, like managing technology, social media and Covid, accrue. I have discovered that having an amazing family and home isn’t enough. It all must be managed in a way that isn’t depleting and exhausting.

This Mother’s Day, look at where you are on your journey. Do you want to celebrate motherhood or escape from it? 

If your experience is the one you’ve dreamed of, fantastic. If it isn’t then it’s time to make some changes. I invite you to join me for my podcast Banishing Mom Burnout. This is a podcast dedicated to getting moms out of depletion and into a position of strength and power. There is a way to reclaim motherhood. If I did it, so can you. Now, that’s something to celebrate!

“Hometown” of Reader’s Digest Leaves Surprising, Lasting Impact

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Pleasantville-Coach K with a helmetless Dietrich at his side

It was a bright and sunny day–in the 70s–the 1970s. Not much else is memorable–except how we were greeted upon introducing ourselves to Garrison Keillor’s Prairie Home Companion, being broadcast from St. Paul, MN. So we stood tall, saying: “We’re from Pleasantville, New York,” adding, “home of Reader’s Digest.”

To which the radio host quipped: “Funny,… you don’t look condensed.”

The whimsical Keillor knew that Reader’s Digest is renowned for hardcover anthologies of “condensed” books and other easy-to-digest articles, humor, and whimsical anecdotes about “Life in these United States.” Also well-known is that Reader’s Digest calls Pleasantville, NY, its hometown. Great made-up name, right? Almost as fiction-sounding as “Lake Wobegon” is for Garrison Keillor and his prairie home companions.

Pleasantville is a real place, but did you know that name is used by ten other towns in these United States? (DE, IN, IA, MD, NJ, NC, OH, PA, TN, and WI.) I learned that much when the coming-of-age movie, Pleasantville, debuted in 1998. I had insisted that movie featured my hometown but was told otherwise–that it was based on a composite fictional Pleasantville.

Nothing fictional about where I grew up–except for the fiction that Reader’s Digest is located there. While most Americans would connect the Reader’s Digest Association with the Pleasantville in NY, all their books and magazines were produced in the next town over, Chappaqua. But my Pleasantville won its USPS contract, which accounted for 96% of all mail passing through our post office.

I hasten to add: The Readers Digest Association did start in Pleasantville in DeWitt Wallace’s garage in 1922. Over the next 17 years, it occupied 14 overflowing office spaces throughout our little village. It moved to a 116-acre campus in Chappaqua in 1939, remaining there 71 years until declaring bankruptcy and reorganizing. At its peak in the 1980’s, Reader’s Digest reached 100 million readers in 163 countries, with 48 editions and 19 languages. Westchester County, NY, is still home to all U.S.-based Reader’s Digest editorial members.

An injured Dietrich cheers on his team

Because of its Pleasantville origins 98 years ago and the still-current USPS connection, the Reader’s Digest Association put my little hometown (circa 7000 pop) on the map. Otherwise, we are a tiny bedroom community of suburban NYC, my household blending with 25 million others within an hour’s drive.

I grew up as one piece in a 1000-piece puzzle, trying to figure out how to fit into the bigger picture. Little did I know then how much that little town in the shadow of

the Big Apple and its association with Reader’s Digest would influence my life and chosen livelihood.

I was raised by a stay-at-home mom and a commute-to-NYC dad who worked 55 years for one company, tackling enemy combatants in WWII and all manner of epidemics since, missing just two days of work. Companies facing today’s pandemic shut down and furlough workers–but not then, not to the Greatest Generation. They would mask-up and make sacrifices to combat COVID-19.

A village of parents sacrificed themselves to rescue me from a reckless life and ‘enemies’ that plagued me. A local pastor and his wife, John & Muriel, became my second parents, turning me to Christ and his church. I also grew up under Pleasantville’s Coach K, a Vince Lombardi-type football coach who always had us ready to tackle enemies within–and those across the scrimmage line. To this day, thanks to the influence of a small village, I am loyal, well-prepared, disciplined, passionate, and ready to tackle giant obstacles like COVID-19.

Pleasantville not only turned my life around, but shaped my livelihood, too. I am now a copywriter whose writing niche includes book summaries, people profiles, populist blogs, study notes and reflection questions with whimsy–all to bring meaning and life application out of good books and the Good Book. I used to collect, from garage sales, anthologies of Reader’s Digest book summaries. I was busy, lazy and a slow reader, so this was just compensation for my deficits. I later figured others like me could benefit from a digest of Christian resources to make the Bible and its truth more accessible.

Yet all this time, I had not subscribed to Reader’s Digest. After they tracked me down online, I yielded. What is more, I gifted a subscription to my brother in DC. As we move into retirement, we have more time to relish this timeless treasure.

Reader’s Digest–with its small hometown values and giant legacy–affirms the idiom that “what goes around comes around.”

DIVISION ONE: “More than an Athletic Gym”

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Karl Pfshtner, owner and Head Strength Coach at Division One Prep
Karl Pfistner, owner and Head Strength Coach at Division One Prep

“This place is really [a gym] for everybody.” It’s with this idea that Karl Pfistner, owner and Head Strength Coach at Division One Prep, on the border of White Plains and Armonk, runs his lively fitness facility. No matter who you are, or what level of training you’re at, Pfistner assures you, “You’re going to come in here and feel like you belong.”

A strong advocate of “effective training” over “just working out to work out,” Pfistner–a former athlete at the high school, collegiate and professional Arena Football levels–prides himself on Division One’s unique approach to training, which, in keeping with his beliefs, focuses just as much, if not more, on the mental health, body control and overall movement aspects of the workout as the actual physical workout. “You could come in here and squat 400 pounds, [but] if you can’t move on the field, that means absolutely nothing,” he explains.

divisiononeaEager to instill his clients with this same way of thinking, Pfistner creates any given workout in the same way. “My focus is on getting you moving,” he says, straightforwardly. “It’s about quality over quantity or time [spent], and achieving the absolute best possible results for your body.”

To that end, while every workout covers several key focus areas–agility work, strength training, core work, and static stretching–the specifics of each session, 60 minutes in length, are tailored to each individual’s needs. “We push clients to their full maximum potential, so that they get full range of motion, and receive full maximum burn,” says Pfistner, adding that programs are further categorized into “sport-specific” exercises, so they can easily be translated onto the appropriate field/court/pool, etc.

Essentially, no matter what your age, conditions or limitations, “You’re going to have a workout that really caters to your goals and what you’re looking to accomplish.” (For the record, Division One’s staff also includes a Nutritionist and Life Coach to give clients the full “mental health” experience).

Another element Pfistner cannot emphasize enough? Structure. “That’s the biggest difference between us and other fitness facilities or high school gyms,” he explains.

“There’s a big difference between having a history teacher sitting there supervising an open gym, and an actual structured, laid-out program. Especially with colleges as competItive as they are to get into nowadays, athletes need structure. It can really set them apart.” Though his gym is indeed open to people of all ages, as a dad of four– who range in ages 5 to 15, he can’t help but hold a special place in his heart for the youth athletes. “I love working with youth,” he says, stressing the importance of instilling children with these values and ideals at an early age. “They’re hungry for knowledge; they just soak everything up.”

But, as mentioned, they’re not the only age group he sees: “I have a 45-year-old ex-college football player that wants to train before he goes to work on Wall Street.

I have two middle-aged tennis pros, who also used to play football, I have a 62-year-old retiree who’s looking to pursue a new passion and lose some weight. It really runs the gamut.”

And with so many people of different ages and abilities, and various levels of training, filtering in and out of the gym at any given time, Pfistner acknowledges it’s hard to say who will retain what they’ve learned after leaving the gym.

Still, he’s fully aware of the role he plays in the lives of his clients and strongly encourages them–and everyone else–to follow through. “The bottom line is it’s a small piece in a much larger puzzle,” he explains, in reference to his clients spending just one hour (out of 23 others) at the gym.

“My goal is to motivate my clients and instill in them a desire to stay healthy, so it’s ringing in the back of their head throughout the day… It’s my job to make you want to come back, and to give you the right training to get you excited about working out. If I can instill that idea in my clients, and have them carry that [healthy outlook] on through their life, then that’s a win for me.”
Division One Fitness Prep is located at 4 New King Street in West Harrison. For more information, please visit www.divisiononeprep.com.

Matt Smith is a writer and regular contributor to The Inside Press. For more information or inquiry, please visit www.mattsmiththeatre.com.

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