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Parents

The Wasabi Incident and other Tales of Aging Parents

December 1, 2017 by Daniel Levitz

(L-R): Lorraine, Dan (the author) and Martin Levitz

Interacting with aging parents, for those of us firmly entrenched in middle age, can be pleasant, painful, humorous, bittersweet, inspiring, odd….and, please, feel free to insert your own adjectives. I don’t believe that there is a universal approach nor experience regarding older parents, however, I do feel that participating in a conversation about that last stage of life with them is a significant endeavor.

Lately I’ve been talking to friends about experiences with their aging parents. A close pal from high school told me that he was having the difficult conversation with his octogenarian father about possibly moving into an assisted living facility. Apparently the conversation was non-conclusive and resulted in what will forever be known as “The Wasabi Incident.” As my friend related, “We took Dad to visit the assisted living building for a tour. Didn’t go well. He pretty much shut down the sales guy telling him he was only there because we made him go and he has no intention of moving. He was happy later though because he got to eat dinner there for free. Sigh. Surprisingly still hungry, we then took Dad to a sushi restaurant and he ordered California rolls. Not sure if he realized what he was ordering. When the food came he immediately reached out with his fingers, grabbed the blob of wasabi and started to stuff it in his mouth. I yelled for him to stop and he only ate some but was definitely surprised by the spiciness of it. He’s mostly okay but does weird stuff like that once in a while”.

My friend’s Dad, as I’ve known him, is a bright, decent, no nonsense kind of guy.

I wish “The Wasabi Incident” could provide answers concerning his state of mind. However, all it raises are short-term questions like what the hell was he doing and, more daunting existential queries about the universally shared reality that with inevitable relentless urgency it is all going to end. For everyone.

Another buddy shared a story about when his father passed. They’d had a volatile relationship going back to his childhood and while always connected, there remained tension. His Dad had learned that he was terminally ill and requested a meeting with his son. My friend was certain that this farewell of sorts would be the moment where they could finally express their true good feelings for one another despite their bumpy history. They sat in his Father’s yard and drank wine on a crisp autumn afternoon. The Father looked into the son’s eyes and hesitated while the son prepared for some kind of emotional revelation. What followed was quite simply a non-negotiable list of people the Father vehemently forbid from attending his funeral. Not exactly what my friend was expecting but he laughs about it now as it was certainly consistent with his Father and, in retrospect, was most definitely a farewell.

My Dad died in 2013 at the age of 89. Martin was the kind of person who really took pleasure in life. He was passionate about collecting art, eating great and abundant meals, New York Yankees baseball and of course his wife of 66 years, my Mom. The last year of his life was difficult because most of these things were taken away from him because of his health. All except my Mom who took care of him in a heroic and remarkably devoted manner. Despite pleas from everyone to get help she took all of this on herself because she felt that’s what he wanted. My Dad would constantly yell out with urgency “Lorraine!” I found this touching (and not to mention loud). One day I convinced Mom to take a walk and have a little time for herself.  As the door shut I heard the same demanding exclamation, “Lorraine!” Answering his call I told my Dad that Mom was taking a walk but I was home with him. I thought he might be unhappy about this but a minute later in the same formidable tone he hollered, “Dan!” That he was able to shift his focus so quickly from his wife to his son told me that despite his love for and reliance upon his wife there was a pragmatic element to survival that may transcend even indestructible love.

Lorraine and Martin Levitz, the author’s parents

As for Mom, now 90, she can be found on one of her two daily walks around her neighborhood in lower Manhattan. She lives alone and gets a nice amount of attention from her children and grandchildren who all live relatively close. It’s not unusual for her to meet someone new and within a minute or two proudly note that she is indeed 90. In fact, she began bragging about being 90 when she was only 89 but you can’t blame her as the reaction is almost always complimentary. At a younger stage of adult life, stating one’s age out of the blue would be something of a non-sequitur.

At 90 it’s simply addressing the elephant in the room. A beautiful aspect of this time of Mom’s life is that she is still happy and independent yet fully aware of the numbers that prove that things are definitely winding down. I think that fact is harder on the rest of us than her but it’s inspiring to know that she can talk about it calmly and firmly in the context of what a wonderful life she most certainly has enjoyed.

Filed Under: Et Cetera Tagged With: age, etcetera, Family, growing old, Parents, The Wasabi Incident

The Byram Hills Preschool Association Rolls Out the Welcome Mat for Preschoolers and Parents

August 30, 2017 by Beth Besen

PHOTO BY CAROLYN SIMPSON
BHPA co-presidents (l-r): Danielle Meyer and Stephanie Pitofsky
PHOTO BY CAROLYN SIMPSON

How do you spell “welcome”?

If you’re from Armonk, chances are you eschew the conventional w-e-l-c-o-m-e spelling in favor of B-H-P-A … yes, the Byram Hills Preschool Association (BHPA) is the very definition of what it means to feel welcome!

What started as a small grassroots group way back in 1965, is, today, a fully developed not-for-profit organization serving close to 300 families each year. And, whether you’re a newcomer or native of North Castle, if you have a preschooler, you likely know what it’s like to be enveloped in the warm embrace of the BHPA.

Outgoing BHPA co-president Nancy Rosner came full circle with the organization. She not only grew up in Armonk, but her mom was a BHPA board member too. Rosner moved back to Armonk when her now 5-year-old son was just 18 months old, and immediately joined the BHPA which, she says, “made the move as seamless as possible.”

Soon thereafter, she decided to become involved with the BHPA board in order “to be a more active participant in this group that I really felt lucky to be part of.” She started as one of the Children’s Committee co-chairs. Then, last year, feeling ready to take on even more responsibility and give back in a bigger way, she joined forces with fellow BPHA member Tina Mannix to become co-presidents for what she describes as an incredibly fulfilling year.

This year’s new co-presidents, Danielle Meyer and Stephanie Pitofsky met through the BHPA Book Club for parents last year and soon became fast friends. Each has an older child who has aged out of BHPA (children/families age out with the start of kindergarten) and a second child happily involved.

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Happy preschoolers enjoy their new balloons at the BHPA’s annual Winter Family Festival fundraiser at HC Crittenden Middle School in Armonk PHOTO BY JESSICA DiMATTEO

Not only did the women “hit it off right away” in Book Club, but they soon recognized that their individual skill sets are wonderfully complimentary; Meyer has her degree in Special Education and was a teacher in East Harlem before moving to Armonk, while Pitofsky is a CPA and Project Management Professional currently with PwC. Together and already hard at work, they’re a powerhouse team eager to make their mark and build on last year’s many wonderful success stories. There’s “a lot of work up front” says Meyer, “but we expect it to start to flow.” Adds Pitofsky with a laugh, “We’re in constant communication! We’re looking forward to the year–and think it’ll be a lot of fun!”


Last Year’s gala fundraiser Night at the Museum was a huge success; another evening is already in the planning stages! PHOTO COURTESY OF BHPA

What’s first and foremost on the agenda for this year? Squaring away the many committee chairs, which are listed at www.bhpa.info. BHPA committees are the backbone of the organization and as diverse as the membership served. From Playgroups to S.O.S. (School Orientation Session) and Working Moms to Mom’s Night Out, the organization is equally child and parent-focused; there is truly something (or multiple somethings) for everyone.

Playgroup is, perhaps, the jewel in the BHPA committee crown. After all, playgroups are where children learn to socialize–and parents, grandparents, sitters etc develop their social networks too. Groupings are based on who brings/stays with the child, the child’s age/year attending kindergarten and which day of the week works best. As fabulous as this program has been, Meyer and Pitofsky are nonetheless working to streamline the process and make it even more user-friendly, including developing a plan that would turn a Monday-Friday program into a full seven-day-a-week option.

Of equal acclaim is S.O.S., a wonderful program that introduces preschoolers to Coman Hill Elementary School in a very gentle way. Says Pitofsky, “The intention is to get the children comfortable with the school they’ll be attending.”

To that end, the program runs January through May, one day per month. Families choose their preferred day, and on that day each month, their children rotate through the library, the art room, the cafeteria and playground, enjoying activities and teacher supervision in each setting. The final visit includes a bus safety video followed immediately by a practice ride on the school bus!

Pumpkin picking event
PHOTO COURTESY OF NANCY ROSNER

The Children’s Committee hosts many fun-filled, child-centric events. Last year, under Rosner and Mannix’s stewardship, the BHPA partnered with the Armonk Chamber of Commerce to combinethe annual BHPA Fall Carnival with the Chamber’s Cider and Donut Festival. The weather wasn’t perfect, but the partnership “was incredibly successful and fun,” says Rosner. Meyer and Pitofsky are already working with the Chamber on once again combining events this year. As September fades, October gears up for the BHPA’s Halloween Ball and pumpkin painting. This always anticipated treat-not-trick is another annual event not to be missed. Members can look forward to something genuinely fun every month of the academic year!

At the BHPA aCarnival
A BHPA preschooler enjoying the Fall Carnival PHOTO COURTESY OF NANCY ROSNER

Another new event–one which will surely become an annual hallmark evening–was last year’s inaugural gala fundraiser, Night at the Museum. The well-attended event took place at the Neuberger Museum of Art in Purchase and, shares Rosner, “It was a beautiful, fun night…we surpassed our goal for ticket sales and fundraising efforts, which was really wonderful!”

With so much to look forward to , who wouldn’t want to join the BHPA?! Dues are just $50 per family for the year, which entitles members to any and all events.

For events listings and more information, visit www.bhpa.info. The BHPA looks forward to welcoming you and your little ones!

Filed Under: Armonk Cover Stories Tagged With: Armonk Moms, Byram Hills Preschool Association, Fall Carnival, kids, Parents, Preschoolers, Wampus Brook Park

Help for Parents of Struggling Students

February 11, 2016 by Inside Press

Via the Wrightslaw Special Education Law and Advocacy Conference
February 29 at the Westchester Hilton in Rye Brook, New York.

Speaker Peter Wright is a renowned U.S. Supreme Court-winning Special Education attorney, author and professor whose website, Wrightslaw, is #1 in the nation for special education law and advocacy. This all-day Conference provides expert knowledge on education law, the special education process, parental rights, effective advocacy strategies–a veritable toolbox of knowledge to get results and meet the needs of children with special education needs. If you are a parent, educator or lawyer and know of a child struggling in school, please pass along and take advantage of this 2/29 conference. 7 CLEs and 6 CEUs.

For more info, or to register, sponsor or exhibit at accompanying Resource Exhibition, call Lynn Dalton at 914-582-4248 or go to www.onwithlearning.com

onwithlearning.com
onwithlearning.com

FDBOnWithLearning1602-2

This news is brought to our readers via a release from onwithlearning.com

Filed Under: Westchester Tagged With: aid, Inside Press, Learning, Parents, special education, theinsidepress.com

A New Season for the Byram Hills PTSA

September 1, 2015 by The Inside Press

The 2015-2016 BHPTSA Executive Board, shown left to right. Back row: Edi Lentini, Toni Nieves, Rob Fermann, Abby Woodworth, Robin Jacobs, Petrie Verma, Lara Stangel. Front row: Khatija Lad- hani, Nanci Keltz, Leslie Goldman, Dana Goldman, Hollie Levy
The 2015-2016 BHPTSA Executive Board, shown left to right. Back row: Edi Lentini, Toni Nieves, Rob Fermann, Abby Woodworth, Robin Jacobs, Petrie Verma, Lara Stangel. Front row: Khatija Lad- hani, Nanci Keltz, Leslie Goldman, Dana Goldman, Hollie Levy

By Deborah Notis

It is an exciting time in the Byram Hills school district as the BHPTSA, the Parent Teacher Student Association, is growing and re-branding itself. The BHPTSA is dedicated to creating a sense of community and unity for the parents, teachers, school administration and students in the Byram Hills school district. With the extremely capable Abby Woodworth at the helm, the BHPTSA will continue to foster a familiar, safe and productive environment for the children.

“I’m so proud to say that there is a renewed and reinvigorating spirit among our community as parents recognize the amazing and important programming we provide for their children and them, and they want to be a part of that,” states outgoing BHPTSA president, Lara Stangel. Stangel, who served as BHPTSA President for the past two years, oversaw approximately 14 BHPTSA Board Members, 20 Assistant Vice Presidents, and 200 class parents. This valuable group of volunteers helps to unite the Byram Hills families, the teachers and the district administrators into a cohesive community.

Throughout her tenure, Stangel spearheaded multiple groundbreaking initiatives such as revamping the school spirit-wear line, creating an Advocacy Committee, and moving the Byram Hills PTSA directory online. The effect of these programs resonated throughout the district.

The completely new school spirit-wear line, organized by Merchandising Committee Chair Hollie Levy, brought innovative ideas to make Byram Hills-wear more current. This had an even greater impact as the increased sales have helped to fund several other programs, including the Health and Safety program and the Author Book series.

The new Advocacy Committee provides parents, teachers and community members with a forum in which to gather information regarding ever-changing, state-based educational expectations like the common core, budget cuts and teacher assessments. The Advocacy Chair, Danielle Fox, took the community’s feedback to Albany during the last year, to hopefully help them to make real and effective changes in the education system.

Bringing the BHPTSA directory online was a significant accomplishment, only made possible by the hard work of long-time members, Diane Rowan, Susan Deangelos, Katie Herbert, and Deepak Thadani. The new, eco-friendly directory is available on computers, iPads, and mobile phones, giving the Byram Hills community easy access to all of this information.

Incoming BHPTSA president Woodworth is hoping to enhance the programs that Stangel implemented and to build several other programs designed to strengthen the bonds amongst community members and the school district. She is working to increase enthusiasm for the new online directory, understanding that some families still appreciate that hard copy, go-to book. Woodworth is also trying to fill the bucket of BHPTSA volunteers, creating an even stronger support network for the schools, the children, and the community. “In past years, we were begging for volunteers. This year, we plan to reach out to the community as early as possible to encourage greater involvement from the get-go.”

Coman Hill Vice President Petrie Verma stresses the importance of encouraging families with younger children to join the BHPTSA right away. “The most important thing is the children,” notes Verma, who is excited about the “recent infusion of parents with younger children getting involved with the BHPTSA.”

To that end, Woodworth is implementing several “get to know you” activities, targeting kindergarten families and families new the school district. First, she is planning a kick-off event for younger families to become acquainted with each other and the BHPTSA. This event will hopefully be held off school grounds, at a volunteer’s home, so that people can become acquainted in an informal, relaxing setting. She is hoping to have several movie nights and other school-based events to get families together, inside the schools throughout the cold winter months.  And, she wants the kindergarten to host an end of the year picnic to celebrate the children’s first school year in the district. She is counting on the support of current BHPTSA volunteers to make all of this possible.

“I have an all star team of volunteers. My job is really easy because most of our volunteers have been helping the BHPTSA for years. They are the pros,” states Rob Furman, H.C. Crittenden Middle School’s Vice President. He stresses that much of the heavy lifting–the organizing, the managing, and the implementing of programs–is done behind the scenes by a skeleton of volunteers. As a result, Furman thinks that it is these “invisible” volunteers who have the greatest impact on the Byram Hills community.

While he likes to let his committee chair people run their programs on the middle school level, Furman sees his role as a facilitator for Crittenden and the entire district. “As members of the Executive Board, the Vice Presidents work for all Byram Hills schools and all budgets.” The Executive Board’s team works exceptionally well together, and Furman credits Treasurer Nanci Keltz for getting rid of bank fees for the BHPTSA and facilitating the DiCicco’s supermarket donation program, a program that gives one percent of all DiCicco’s sales directly back to the school district.

While the Executive Board works together to oversee the programs throughout the school district, one of President Woodworth’s most important responsibilities is to organize class parents in every school. Class parents play an invaluable role in the BHPTSA, acting as the link between the teachers, administration and families. Woodworth will work closely with her Vice Presidents, Toni Nieves at Byram Hills High School, Furman at H.C. Crittenden Middle School, Sharon Eder and Dana Goldman at Wampus Elementary School, and Verma at Coman Hills Elementary School, to make sure that the class parent program is running smoothly.

Abby Woodworth (L), the incoming president, Dr. Donohue and Lara Stan- gel share a moment at the BHPTSA Spring Luncheon honoring retirees as well as the outgoing and incoming executive board.
Abby Woodworth (L), the incoming president, Dr. Donohue and Lara Stan- gel share a moment at the BHPTSA Spring Luncheon honoring retirees as well as the outgoing and incoming executive board.

The class parents, vice presidents, and President Woodworth are also responsible for getting the word out about upcoming programs offered by the district. This year, the BHPTSA is proud to sponsor several programs for parents and children, and to help enhance the classroom experience. This year, parents can look forward to a seminar led by Ron Lieber, author of The Opposite of Spoiled and A Global Village Cookbook, and students will participate in activities like Halloween Window Painting, Nutrition Week, and Colonial Crafts Day. Woodworth credits the BHPTSA volunteers for their work behind the scenes to make sure that the activities run seamlessly.

Woodworth is also contemplating re-branding the BHPTSA during her tenure. In the past, the BHPTSA had a student representative on board to act as a direct liaison to the students rather than relying on their parents’ voices. However, since there has not been a student representative in several years, Woodworth thinks that it might be time to drop the “S” and become the BHPTA.

Woodworth has another vital role as a liaison with the Board of Education. A member of the Board of Education is always at the BHPTSA meeting, and the BHPTSA President works closely with the Byram Hills Superintendent, Dr. William Donohue, to update the Board of Education as a voice for the community. Both Stangel and Woodworth rave about their experiences with Donohue. “I’m so grateful and lucky to have worked collaboratively with Dr Donohue during my term. His support and guidance have been key to the BHPTSA’s success,” states a smiling Stangel.

Dr. Donohue, who meets with the BHPTSA president and officers every month, sees himself as a partner, helping them to enhance their productivity. In Donohue’s opinion, the BHPTSA “makes our schools into a community for every child. They provide ready-made channels of communication. In addition, they are important advocates for our schools, providing information to parents.” Overall, this helps to create a much    tighter community.

Ultimately, Coman Hill Vice President Verma credits the incredibly close-knit community with creating a successful parent-teacher organization. And Stangel agrees, stating, “This community has a team that is exceptionally dedicated to its schools and children. I’m so proud of all we have done as a group over the last two years during my presidency.” She graciously passes the torch, offering, “I’m confident our incoming President, Abby Woodworth, who is absolutely amazing, will continue this work and strive to fulfill the mission of the National PTSA, making every child’s potential a reality by engaging and empowering families and communities to advocate for all children.”

Deborah Notis is a freelance writer and owner of gamechanger, LLC, a free referral service connecting Westchester families to highly qualified instructors.

Filed Under: Armonk Cover Stories Tagged With: Inside Armonk, Inside Armonk (Sept 2015), Parents, school, Teachers

Down-to-Earth JCC Programs

October 23, 2012 by The Inside Press

GLOBAL WISDOM FROM OUR SPONSORS

Todah Raba: I’m Thankful For… an early childhood program on Sunday, Nov. 18 at 10 a.m-11:30 a.m. at the Rosenthal JCC (600 Bear Ridge Road in Pleasantville) that engages children in the business of being thoughtful to others through “filling buckets” with good thoughts and good deeds. A concurrent program for parents offers down-to-earth suggestions and tips on raising thankful kids based on the values in the book The Blessing of a Skinned Knee. Entertaining for kids, educational for parents, and just in time for Thanksgiving!
Global Connections at the Rosenthal JCC is an education and exchange program for 7th and 12th graders in Northern Westchester and their peers in our sister city of Shoham, Israel. Teens meet monthly and connect with each other through social media to build bonds that culminate in spring and summer exchanges. Families host the international students so that they gain a real understanding of what life is like for each other. This cultural learning experience is hands-on and truly personal.

For more information, call 741-0333 x25 or look online at www.rosenthaljcc.org.

Filed Under: Words & Wisdoms From Our Sponsors Tagged With: children, israel, Jewish, Parents, religion

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