Our happy home probably looks a little different from yours. When you’re nudging young sleepy heads awake, we may be lovingly checking vital signs on ours. When you’re serving your kids breakfast, we may be administering a life sustaining IV to ours. When yours are enjoying bath time with bubbles and toys, we may be giving a sponge bath to keep ours clean and dry. Yes, our happy homes look different–but they’re the same where it counts. For a child, home is wherever you can feel secure that your needs will be met–all of your needs, every single day. sunshinechildrenshome.org
children
Let’s Talk About It: Raising Resilient Kids
By Deborah Raider Notis
We live in a community in which everyone is hyper-focused on raising successful children. But do we spend nearly enough time teaching these successful children how to recover from disappointment, failure, and stress? How do we raise resilient children?
This was the focus of the Mental Health Association (MHA) of Westchester’s community conversation held in November at the Rosenthal JCC.
Moderator Sean Mayer, an MHA board member who lost his brother to suicide, asked a panel of experts, “In today’s high stakes, technology driven world, how do we help our youth develop strength and buoyancy?” The event, sponsored by The Inside Press, concerned reducing and identifying factors that cause anxiety, stress, depression, and the potential for suicide in children and young adults.
According to the MHA’s Dr. Barbara Bernstein, counselors are seeing more children with more mental health issues nowadays. Over one-third of college students polled said that they cannot function because they feel sad and hopeless, one half of these students suffer from anxiety, nine percent considered suicide, and 17% of high school students polled thought about suicide. She urged, “Early identification of these issues is critically important. We have to figure out why kids are not developing coping skills.”
“Teacup Children” Phenomenon
Panelist Shari Applebaum noted that resilience begins in childhood. “To build resilience with our kids we have to take a step back. Kids must find self soothing skills and must learn to handle disappointment on their own while still knowing that there is a support system.” She and Mayer believe that today’s parents are creating “teacup children,” children who are exceptionally fragile and break easily when faced with challenges. Applebaum feels that our community as a whole must reduce the emphasis on academic and athletic achievement as these pressures are overwhelming to many children–and don’t guarantee fulfillment.
Byram Hill’s Chris Borsari agreed that academic and athletic achievement are priorities in our community. When he started at Byram Hills High School, he wanted to understand why so many students were struggling. “We started out discussing stress,” as he was initially afraid to broach the subjects of mental health and suicide with his faculty and community. He developed Learn to Inspire workshops for his faculty and held coffees for parents to pinpoint what causes stress and anxiety for students. “Over time, people started to discuss suicide. There was a slow acceptance and realization that suicide is a health issue, just like broken bones and concussions but with potentially greater consequences.”
Reverend Francis Wise Grenley suggested that we prioritize kindness and compassion. She thinks local teens need to look beyond themselves and place themselves in a different context to give them some perspective on their problems. “In the modern era, we are the centers of our own attention, everything we do is so important to us.” To help give teens perspective, the Scarsdale Congregational Church takes teens on a Midnight Run to bring clothing and homeless into New York City and also takes them to a community in South Dakota living in trailers–with no windows, no indoor plumbing, and no heat. Grenley points out, “This give our teens a chance to see an entirely different reality.”
The hope is that experiencing this alternate reality will give them a stronger sense of priorities. Borsari notes that we live in “pinnacle communities” where people have found a unique level of success and prosperity. “The American Dream has always meant that you are going to do better than your parents,” notes Borsari. “If that only means money, then kids from these pinnacle communities are going to have a particularly tough time. We need to redefine success to make it more attainable for this generation.”
Technology: Too Much of a Good Thing?
Stress and anxiety are pervasive among children, teens, and young adults–some of whom are plugged in seemingly 24/7. So Mayer asked the panel whether they feel that technology is making growing up harder for our children. The whole panel agreed that it is extremely challenging to deal with texts, Instagrams, Snapchats, and all of the other apps that compel people to constantly compare themselves to everyone else.
Mayer also points out that many of these children have “duck syndrome,” they look perfect on the surface but are paddling furiously beneath the surface to keep up. He says, “It is hard to see all of these posts and think that everyone is having so much more fun than you are.”
Grenley acknowledges, “None of us are strangers to our smartphones. But kids are getting lost in their phones and missing out on face-to-face conversations. How many times have you seen kids sitting next to each other in the car texting each other?” Grenley and Mayer agreed that people are missing out on the beauty of the world around us and losing the ability to be present in the moment.
Teens and young adults need emotional downtime, away from social media outlets. Borsari believes,“ One of the hallmarks of adolescence is to be connected to the group. But you used to be able to go home and escape. Now there is no escape.” He is particularly concerned about kids’ inability to shut down and escape technology.
Grenley implores parents to stick to their standards because kids do better with boundaries. “Hearing the word ‘no’ is not a bad thing.” These rules and boundaries against which kids fight can ultimately give them a sense of belonging and a foundation for success. Most importantly, people need to know about the many available resources throughout our community that can help those struggling with depression, anxiety, stress, and thoughts of suicide. Michael Orth of the Westchester Department of Mental Health said that the county offers peer-to-peer support groups for college-aged young adults, for example. The Scarsdale Congregational Church has a support council and works with neighborhood associations to foster a sense of community.
Byram Hills High School has an open door policy, Transformation Workshops, and is working to reduce the stigma associated with suicide. And, of course there is the Mental Health Association of Westchester. Just ask Mayer. Six months after his brother committed suicide he turned to the Mental Health Association for support, and today he works with them to create a network of support systems and conversations for others.
Deborah Notis is a writer and co-owner of gamechanger, LLC, a free referral service connecting Westchester families to highly qualified, competitively priced academic, athletic, music, and
art instructors.
RESOURCES
Westchester County Crisis Prevention and Response Team
914-925-5959
Mental Health Association of Westchester
Mount Kisco, 914 666-4646
White Plains, 914 345-0700
Walk-in Services; phone to confirm hours
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline
1-800-273-TALK (8255)
Bereavement Center of Westchester
914-787-6158
Westchester Jewish Community Services
To Inquire about a Support Group:
914-761-0600
Ossining’s Hidden Gem Offerings, Opportunities and the Expansion of Sunshine Children’s Home
By Matt Smith
Are you looking to do some good and give back to the community? Want to help out in an area steeped in nature and off the beaten path? Willing to provide aid and comfort for a variety of sick kids who are looking for playtime with someone just like you? Only a short drive on the Taconic State Parkway, just beyond the entrance to Cedar Lane, tucked away on a hill and nestled among the trees, you’ll find your answer. Referred to affectionately by various staff members as “Ossining’s Hidden Gem,” Sunshine Children’s Home and Rehabilitation Center provides 24-hour treatment for medically complex children, newborn-age 18, who require that long-term residential care.
Originally opened as St. Mary’s Rehabilitation Center for Children, the venue was bought by current owner Ari Friedman in September 2009, who rechristened it with its current name. And it is truly a home in the fullest sense of the word.
“We don’t look anything like a hospital, we don’t want to look anything like a hospital,” says Administrator and Director Linda Mosiello, who states that the goal of the organization is to keep each resident happy, and with a smile on their face. “Some of [these kids] have life-limiting diagnoses. So, the idea is to create quality for their time of life, however long that may be.”
And they do that by normalizing the environment in the best way they can. “We create a typical day in the life of a child,” continues Mosiello, citing that all the kids are in school programs as soon as the day begins. Operated in conjunction with Northern Westchester BOCES–with which Sunshine has held a partnership since 2011–these programs are offered on three levels: Elementary, Middle School, and High School. Additionally, Sunshine runs a preschool program (in a separate building) for their younger residents.
Each program uses a combination of special education professionals and teaching staff, as well as occupational therapists and speech pathologists. Other therapists and nurses are always available on-site, and may sometimes sit in on classes, if needed, for easy access to residents. But, other than that, it’s “normalcy as best we can do it, despite their complexities,” explains Mosiello. “Kids at home don’t sit around all day in beds, [and] our kids don’t either.”
But, the good news is that when the kids are in bed, they’re in a room custom-decorated just for them. Comments Mosiello, “[The room] really is their space. We make the improvements that would bring a bit more whimsy to their day.” With three beds to a room, residents are divided into three wings: Saplings, Willow, and Cedar–“you can tell I’m into trees,” Mosiello says with a laugh–and, for the most part, boys are housed with boys (in Cedar) and girls are housed with girls (in Willow). The exceptions? Toddlers (housed in Saplings) and siblings live together, regardless of gender; the former, because of their young age; the latter, to keep that familial bond. (Of note, Sunshine currently has five sets of siblings in their facility).
Mosiello also stresses, on the subject of making the space feel like a home, the importance of keeping the patients’ families involved in their child’s daily activities. “This is their home, too,” she continues, explaining that all families have unrestricted visiting hours. “[Parents] do enjoy coming in and watching their child during their school day. It’s very comforting for them to see [the child] in such a typical routine.”
Furthermore, she recognizes the need for a family to know their child is safe, and acknowledges the impact that Sunshine, as a place of comfort, may have on an entire family. “These parents have been very traumatized by what has happened [in terms of their child’s diagnosis,” she says. “Our goal is to create a seamless transition for the families [into our facility]. This place [is] not just for the child. It is for the family to heal.”
And that “healing place” will hopefully get bigger soon, as Sunshine is planning to expand their facility. The venue has proposed construction of a new building on site, which would add approximately 127,000 square feet to their current 19,000 square-foot property. The expansion would also create an additional 68 beds within the facility, allowing capacity to increase from 54 kids to 122.
“We desperately need this space in order to improve the quality of care and living for our children and to make room for the overwhelming number of children who need to be here,” says Mosiello. “We have a long waiting list right now, and in addition to that waiting list, there are kids out there every day struggling to survive. I’m looking forward to being able to meet the needs of these families who are waiting.”
The expansion would also relieve many staff members of various space constraints. For one, as of this writing, the elementary school program is held in the day room (where playtime is held), and nurses and doctors have makeshift offices in storage closets. “When you have no space, you get creative with how to use [what you have],” comments Mosiello.
She notes, on that subject, that the close proximity of the staff members has created a significant eternal bond between them. “We’ve created a community here, and we’re so small, that it’s really very beautiful. All of our staff, from housekeeping to physicians….[are] a family here.”
Volunteer Opportunities at Sunshine
On that note, if you’d like to do your part and “commit to these kids” as well, Sunshine has an array of various volunteer opportunities, all available to members of the local community. “We work with [everyone] young to old for our volunteer program,” says Mosiello. “That’s what our kids love.”
“We have lovely student programs,” explains Director of Social Work Susan Pinckney. “[Sunshine] works with juniors and seniors from local high schools, including Fordham Prep, Hackley, and schools in Ossining and Croton, who come to do their [required] senior community service hours.” Pinckney notes these students work mainly in the Therapeutic Play program, which focuses on creating leisure-type activities for the children. Additionally, college students come in for social work internships, or to shadow a nurse or therapist.
“And then we have our Community Moms and retirees,” Pinckney continues. “[They] come in to be part of our Cuddle Club and [volunteer to] rock a baby, or to get down on a mat and play with a child.”
The Town of New Castle’s Chappaqua Cares organization led by Dawn Greenberg and Jessica Reinmann, for example, are welcomed volunteers at Sunshine. This group of New Castle community volunteers helped plant garden beds in the Sunshine gardens and also created gift bags for a “moms’ retreat” that Sunshine held as a special bonding day for the mothers of the children who live at Sunshine.
“We’re an opportunity for education and professional service in that way,” states Mosiello. “And I hear all the time that they always get more [back] than they think they’re giving.”
Additional volunteer opportunities include the Friendly Visitor program, wherein volunteers can come in once a week for a scheduled, one-to-one play session with a resident; or a Special Events volunteer, wherein students assist and/or accompany staff members and children on various off-site trips, special events, or the occasional birthday celebration. Of note, the girls of Sunshine have been giving back to the community themselves: Sunshine recently formed their own Girl Scout Troop, within the Ossining Girl Scouts.
The high-spirited energy at Sunshine resonates with its supporters. Mosiello notes that Friedman, who has invested millions of dollars of his own money to fund Sunshine’s overall operation, has two critically ill children himself. She states: “He understands what that’s like. He sees it through the eyes of these parents.” For better or worse, perhaps that’s why the facility works so well, as Friedman can relate firsthand to “parents [who] have had their entire world rocked when their baby arrives early [or suffers traumatic brain injury]. The goal is to create a seamless transition for the families,” focusing on peace, serenity and healing in a time of crisis. For this reason, and to aid in this transition, Friedman and Mosiello made sure their oasis was encompassed in natural refuges.
Two favorites of Mosiello’s include a pond, located just outside the main building, and a porch, built in 2013, just off one of the classrooms, both installed to instill the feeling of home for their inhabitants. “[Families] can take a walk, relax, and feel like they’re in a park,” says Mosiello. Additionally, she states these outside spaces allow the kids to enjoy a full sensory experience. “They love to feel the wind and the air, and listen to the [water from the] fountains.”
“It’s this kind of aesthetic that speaks to the commitment of the ownership of this organization,” adds Mosiello. Again, she reiterates: “It was to create something of beauty. It’s not a business. It’s a home.” And, due to the hard work and dedication of Friedman, Mosiello, Pinckney, and the tireless staff of teachers, doctors, physicians, therapists, and nurses, it’s undoubtedly, and aptly, a home filled with Sunshine…each and every day.
Sunshine Children’s Home is located at 15 Spring Valley Road in Ossining. For more information, please visit www.sunshinechildrenshome.org.
Matt Smith, a proud graduate of Skidmore College, is a regular contributor to The Inside Press, Inc.
On Being Brave in Preschool
“My stomach feels funny. What if no one likes me? What if someone is mean to me? I think I am going cry. I should turnaround. I am going to close my eyes. Okay I am in. Okay let mommy’s hand go.”
Choosing to be courageous starts at an early age. We see this bravery in our World Cup students every day. From choosing to walk through the doors on their first day of preschool to asking to join in a game with other children, to committing to their first back handspring, even our youngest students amaze us with their valor. As parents and as a community, we should nurture this courage by giving our children the opportunity to make those spirited choices. Challenge them to try new things like a new sport or a new vegetable from the farmer’s market, and make sure to praise them when they do. Introduce them to the brave role models in their neighborhood, from the fireman and policeman to their local politicians. Show courage by your example. Explain to your child how you don’t just follow the crowd but follow your own path based on your beliefs. www.worldcupschools.com
Vital Expansion Planned at Sunshine Children’s Home & Rehab Center
* Expansion Necessary to Accommodate Burgeoning Waitlist
* NY State Issues Certificate of Need to Accommodate Growing Demand for Care
Ossining, NY–The Sunshine Children’s Home & Rehab Center, which specializes in the care and treatment of medically complex children (all who require long-term residential care and many whose lives are terminal) is planning to expand its home at 15 Spring Valley Road. This expansion will enable Sunshine to improve the quality of life for the current number of children who live there, as well as to reduce the number of waitlisted children who are in dire need of the kind of care that this 55-year old facility provides.
Sunshine’s expansion plans and facility discussions began four years ago with the goal of enhancing support of the care, health, and positive psychological growth of the children who live there. Plans to do this include the increase of its square footage from 19,000 to 146,000 to create long-needed space for additional beds, essential specialty medical equipment and circulation areas, improved classroom space for the onsite school, rooms for visiting families, etc.
“These 33 acres and the Sunshine Children’s Home have become a lifeline for our families over the past 55 years. We are known as a ‘second home’ for the families of the children who need to live here and the only home that these children have ever known,” said Linda Mosiello, who has served as director of the Sunshine Children’s Home since 2009. “We are so very grateful to have been granted this Certificate of Need from NY State, which shows that the planned expansion size is more than appropriate for the size of our site and its surrounding acreage, and moreover, comports with the bulk and dimensional requirements of the Zoning Code.”
She continued, “We desperately need this space in order to improve the quality of care and living for our children and to make room for the overwhelming number of children who need to be here. Our goal is to soon be able to care for them with better medical facilities and to provide a true school experience for them, as our current space for school is housed in a makeshift addition.”
Mosiello offered details regarding Sunshine’s long-planned, careful process including research, studies and approvals to date:
● In 2014, the Sunshine Children’s Home was granted a Certificate of Need by the New York State Department of Health. The Home is currently operating at 100% capacity, and has a waitlist of over 70 sick children, all of whom will need the resources that Sunshine provides for the duration of their lifespan, which is limited for 50 percent of the children in care. The planned expansion will allow the facility to increase from 54 to 122 pediatric nursing facility beds in order to make somewhat of a dent in the waitlist.
*Note: Including Sunshine, there are currently only nine nursing facilities in New York State with dedicated pediatric nursing units, two of which intend to cease pediatric operations in the near future. Only three of these facilities are able to fully address special-needs pediatric care. The need to expand the Sunshine Children’s Home has never been higher.
● The application for the expansion project was first filed in December, 2014, following several months of pre-application meetings with the town, and was revised after three months of meetings with the town. This review process began after a year-long approval process from the New York State Department of Health.
● The application’s traffic study, conducted by a professional traffic engineer with over 25 years of experience in traffic engineering, shows that the proposed project will not result in any significant adverse impacts on traffic. No existing levels of service in the town or surrounding areas will change as a result of the project. The traffic study for this project was reviewed by the town’s traffic consultant, who has extensive expertise in traffic engineering and whose firm has more than 60 years of history in Westchester County. The town’s traffic engineer concurred with the results of the study.
● Environmental reports detailing the project’s impacts on wetlands, tree removal, steep slopes, rock removal and water usage were prepared by Sunshine and agreed upon by the town. Field tests indicate that there is adequate water supply to service the proposed addition without impacting water supply at neighboring properties. In fact, the reports identify the impacts of the project and demonstrate that they will not at all be significant including water usage and sewage disposal.
● The Sunshine Children’s Home has worked with both the Department of Health and the Westchester Office of Emergency Management on the formulation of their Indian Point Evacuation Plan. It is a well thought out, state-approved response that does not draw upon town or local resources. A preliminary update of this plan to reflect a new projected census has been drafted and will follow the same approval process as the previous plan, which includes working with nearby hospitals and nursing homes to jointly handle evacuations, and covers both the shelter and the transportation of residents. It also includes a “Shelter in Place” response which details specific contingencies for incidents at Indian Point. Sunshine is required to conduct mock evacuations and Shelter in Place drills at least twice a year.
The mission of the Sunshine Children’s Home and Rehab Center is to create a loving and supportive environment that provides the highest level of quality pediatric care for children who need it. The Home takes in children from birth to 18 years of age who require post-acute medical care and/or rehabilitative therapy, combined with psychological and developmental interventions. About 46 percent of the children in residence require palliative care, while an equal percentage of others improve enough with care to be discharged to a group or community facility, or ideally, at home with their families. For more information, visit www.sunshinechildrenshome.org.