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Local Author Tackles Tough Topic in Latest Children’s Book: Repeating Kindergarten

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Becca Eisenberg, book author

It is always inspiring to meet people who are guided by their passion, especially when that passion is helping others. Rebecca Eisenberg who goes by “Becca,” a speech language pathologist, author, instructor, parent, and Armonk resident epitomizes that sentiment. A proponent of children’s literature, Eisenberg recently self-published a children’s book entitled My Second Year of Kindergarten aimed at providing parents and teachers with a resource on the topic of repeating kindergarten. The inspiration for the book? Her own experience.

They say necessity is the mother of invention and Eisenberg can attest to that. When she and her husband made the difficult decision to have their son repeat kindergarten, she searched for a children’s book to help explain the transition to her son; disappointed to have found no such publication, Eisenberg decided to write her own. “As a speech pathologist and mother, I have always looked for children’s literature to help explain difficult transitions or complex issues, and when I was looking for a book about repeating a grade, there was no book at all! I decided I was going to write my own. I tend to create my own work when I can’t find it. I read the draft to my son, and he loved it. The more I thought about it, the more I was devoted to putting it out there,” says Eisenberg.

Inspiring a Growth Mindset

For over two years Eisenberg worked hard to create a book with which all children and parents could identify. My Second Year of Kindergarten is about a boy named Peter, named for a student she worked with who defied all odds and learned to spell, write, and communicate beyond expectations, who is repeating kindergarten. The book follows Peter’s progress from “last year” to “this year,” highlighting the skills Peter gains from repeating the grade. With this book, and the reading guide for educators and parents she created to accompany it, Eisenberg hopes to inspire a growth mindset for children by changing the default attitude from “I can’t do it,” to “I’m learning how to do it.”

Eisenberg draws from her own personal experience to offer advice to parents who are considering having their child repeat kindergarten. Tips such as, “Be honest! Explain the reasons why you have made the decision to have your child repeat kindergarten,” and “Connect with other parents whose children already repeated kindergarten” are compiled in the back of her book. Although Eisenberg had what she described as an “ideal experience” with repeating kindergarten (due to a supportive school and family), Eisenberg knows that some people still treat the topic as something shameful and not to be discussed. Through her book, she hopes to change that. By starting meaningful and honest conversations through literature, she is well on her way.

Although Eisenberg believes that repeating kindergarten does indeed have benefits, she does not advocate it for every child. “If a child is repeating kindergarten, there is a reason for it; either social or academic delays,” explains Eisenberg. “When parents and their ‘team’(their school and other individuals involved in the decision) make the decision to repeat kindergarten, it is about making the best decision for the child.” Eisenberg stressed that she did not write the book to promote the idea of repeating kindergarten for all children, but rather to provide a resource for the families who decide that their child will benefit from it. Some benefits she cites of repeating the grade include social closeness with peers and more time to understand information, which can increase a child’s confidence and happiness at school.

Web Resources for Parents, Children and Educators

As a web savvy author, she also created a website www.mysecondyearofkindergarten.com to serve as a resource. With downloadable worksheets for children and podcasts it offers valuable information so that children repeating a grade can view it as an empowering and positive experience. In addition to the website for the book, she writes an impressive blog called www.gravitybread.com that forms the foundation for all of her work and emphasizes learning during mealtimes. Since 2012, she has updated her blog with language tips, special needs resources, book and app reviews, her interpretations of research articles, and other information with the goal of sharing her passion of connecting with children through storytelling with other parents.

Hearing her talk about her book, her blog, and the other resources she has created with such pride, Eisenberg’s profound commitment to others shines through.

“I have always been passionate about helping other people, for work and in my life. Ever since I was little I have felt the desire to help people with different abilities and needs. It is just a part of who I am.” She truly embodies what it means to put your heart into your work.

Kindergarten Skills

Deciding whether or not to repeat kindergarten can be a very hard decision for families. Dawn Lorenz, a kindergarten teacher at World Cup Nursery School in Chappaqua for 24 years, notes that children entering kindergarten should have the following skills:

  • The ability to listen attentively
  • Follow multi-step directions
  • Stay on task for increasing periods of time
  • Work cooperatively
  • Resolve conflicts socially
  • Function independently (put on shoes, use bathroom independently, etc.)
  • Transition between tasks or locations
  • Follow classroom rules
  • Ask for help when needed

Lorenz warns parents against having their child repeat kindergarten so they can gain an advantage in academics or sports. “There needs to be a clear reason to repeat the grade. It isn’t about being the oldest, fastest, best, or smartest, it is about that individual child and how they will feel during that kindergarten year. Childhood is a journey, not a race; the social-emotional skills are a foundation for academics, now and in the future, so we should not rush our kids to attain skills. We need to respect that five-year-old year and how important it is to a child’s life and development,” she explains.

Potential Reasons to Repeat Kindergarten

  • Social or emotional immaturity
  • A slower developmental timeline
  • Any reason that leads you to suspect that your child may need just a bit of extra time

Lorenz says that she has never had parents who came back to her regretting their decision to have their child repeat kindergarten, but there are many parents who wish they did make that decision because their child just was not ready yet. “We have to make the decision based on our individual children after taking into consideration advice from the “experts” in our lives (whether that be teachers, school districts, preschool directors, etc.).”

“There should not be any embarrassment or stigma at all if you are making the decision for the appropriate reasons for your individual child. You want to set the stage for the rest of their career in education–you want them to be happy and love learning!” sums up Lorenz.

4/11 Book Reading: Westchester Resident’s Poignant Memoir, The Bridesmaid’s Daughter

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The Mental Health Association of Westchester (MHA) is thrilled to host Pound Ridge’s Nyna Giles and co-author Eve Claxton for the exclusive Westchester reading of their poignant and unflinching portrait of Nyna’s mother Carolyn, whose glamorous life was sidelined by mental health issues. THE BRIDESMAID’S DAUGHTER: FROM GRACE KELLY’S WEDDING TO A WOMEN’S SHELTER—SEARCHING FOR THE TRUTH ABOUT MY MOTHER (St. Martin’s Press; on sale March 27, 2018) is a riveting investigation to unearth the lost pieces of Carolyn’s remarkable life story, as well as tell the tale of the daughter who reclaimed her mother’s memory.

To be held on Wednesday, April 11 at 7 p.m. at the Walker Center for the Arts at the Harvey School in Katonah, the book launch reading includes a Q&A, book signing and refreshments; tickets can be purchased at www.mhawestchester.org for $25. This special event – a rare occurrence to hear from both authors in person – raises awareness for mental health issues and benefits MHA, a community-based nonprofit that provides innovative, person-centered treatment.

“We are thrilled that Nyna has chosen to shine a light on the importance of mental health and getting the right help at the right time. MHA is honored to partner with both authors for this exciting reading of their new release,” said MHA CEO Charlotte Östman, LCSW-R.

“Telling my mother’s story in ‘The Bridesmaid’s Daughter’ has been a highly emotional journey – laying bare the heartbreak and devastation mental illness can cause a family,” said Nyna Giles. “This project was extremely painful at times, but ultimately was one of the most fulfilling events in my life. It illustrates the importance of early intervention and treatment, and has enabled me to find a tangible way to give my mother’s life meaning by helping others. I hope that by sharing her story, I can start many important conversations about mental health advocacy. This is why I feel The Mental Health Association of Westchester is vital to our community, ensuring that mental health services are readily available to those who need it the most.”

At 29 years old, Westchester native Nyna was in line at the supermarket when she looked down and saw the headline: “Former Bridesmaid of Princess Grace Lives in Homeless Shelter.” Nyna was stunned: her family’s private ordeal was front page news. The woman on that cover was her mother. The truth was, she barely knew who her mother had been before marriage. She knew Carolyn had been a model – arriving in New York in 1947 and rooming at the legendary Barbizon Hotel for Women, where she’d met the young Grace Kelly. The two had become fast friends, and Nyna had seen the photos of her mother at Grace’s wedding, wearing the bridesmaid gown that had hung in her mother’s closet for years. But how had the seemingly confident, glamorous woman in those pictures become the mother she knew growing up – the mother who told her Nyna she was too ill to go to school and kept her isolated at home?

Nyna Giles and Eve Claxton

THE BRIDESMAID’S DAUGHTER is a deeply personal memoir about friendship and motherhood, and a clarion call for improving mental healthcare. In telling her own and her mother’s story, Nyna aims to raise awareness for mental health advocacy so that no one else has to experience the issues Carolyn and her family did.

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PRAISE FOR THE BOOK

“A fascinating true story.”

—Good Housekeeping

“Celebrates a lifelong female friendship while shedding light on a powerful, if at times painful and complex, mother-daughter bond. A poignantly compelling memoir about family, mental health, and revisiting the past.”
—Kirkus Reviews

“This is a fascinating story of the toll of mental illness and a daughter’s search for understanding and forgiveness.”
—Booklist

“Here is the heart-rending story of two beautiful and glamorous women, and the spirals of disaster into which one of their lives tumbled. As daughter and detective, Nyna Giles writes with moving sensitivity about the dazzling Grace Kelly and her best friend — Nyna’s own mother. The book unfolds like a novel — a tragic and deeply moving saga. Read it   and weep.”

—Robert Lacey, bestselling author of Grace: Her Lives – Her Loves

 

“Straight from the heart, and told with great bravery, The Bridesmaid’s Daughter is a fascinating and powerful story of a daughter’s love for a flawed parent and the struggle to understand a tumultuous childhood.”

—Wendy Lawless, New York Times bestselling author of Chanel Bonfire

 

ABOUT THE AUTHORS

NYNA GILES is the youngest daughter of Carolyn Scott Reybold, a Ford model best known as one of Grace Kelly’s bridesmaids. Nyna has worked in advertising sales with leading media organizations such as Westchester Magazine, 914INC, Westchester Home, The Daily Voice, Record-Review and Westchester and Fairfield County Business Journals. Today she is COO of Giles Communications. She is also an advocate for the mentally ill, having served as a vice president on the board of The Association for Mentally Ill Children of Westchester for ten years. In the spring of 2015, Nyna and her husband, Peter, co-chaired The Mental Health Association of Westchester’s MHA On The Move 5K Run/Walk. Nyna lives in Westchester with her husband, and has three grown children and three stepchildren.

EVE CLAXTON is a writer, editor, and Peabody award-winning radio producer. Since 2006, she’s worked as an editor or co-writer on popular non-fiction books for major publishers including the memoir “He Wanted the Moon,” co-written with Mimi Baird, described by The New York Times as “utterly impossible to put down” and currently being adapted for Brad Pitt’s Plan B with a screenplay by Tony Kushner. Eve is also the editor of The Book of Life an anthology of the best memoir writing throughout the ages.

ABOUT THE MENTAL HEALTH ASSOCIATION OF WESTCHESTER

For more than 70 years, The Mental Health Association of Westchester has promoted mental health in Westchester through advocacy, community education and direct services. MHA offers a range of services that are recovery-oriented, trauma-informed and individualized to promote recovery and wellness. To learn more, visit www.mhawestchester.org.

A Mindful Chat with Jodi Baretz

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Walking into Millwood resident Jodi Baretz’ office is like walking into a sanctuary. The atmosphere is hushed, shoes are left at the door, voices are kept to a whisper. The effect is immediately relaxing.

Baretz, 49, is a psychotherapist specializing in mindfulness and health coaching at The Center for Health and Healing, located on Smith Avenue in Mt. Kisco. She is also the author of the new book, Mindful is the New Skinny: 10 Transformational Steps to a Lighter You Inside and Out, due out this spring. Inside Chappaqua sat down to talk to her about the book as well as her own journey to mindfulness.

An Emory and Columbia University-educated therapist, Baretz has more than 20 years of clinical experience. She has spent the last five years focusing her practice on using mindfulness to overcome stress, weight loss issues and family conflicts. Mindful is the New Skinny started out as a six-week boot camp designed to introduce her patients to the practice of mindfulness.

“I wanted to create a program that would teach people how to reduce stress,” she said. “We need to change our mindset from our weight to our well-being, which is more sustainable and will help us live happier, healthier, more peaceful lives.”

Her message is geared toward helping women who are not only struggling with weight issues, but also with any family and work-related anxiety.

“As a health coach and psychotherapist, it made sense to me to write a book that encompassed the mind and body,” she said. While the book does address eating issues, it is not a weight-loss book. Rather, it looks at all aspects of life that cause stress with the goal of reducing that stress, and getting people to realize that perfection should not be a goal.

But what exactly is mindfulness? And how is mindfulness different from meditation?

As Baretz explains it, mindfulness is the awareness of your thoughts, feelings and environment. Once you acknowledge the source of what you are feeling–whether it’s hunger, anxiety, or stress–you use meditation to calm and center yourself. In effect, you are striving to create a space between a stimulus and the response.

Baretz’ own path to mindfulness began after she was diagnosed with celiac disease in her mid-thirties. Initially devastated by the diagnosis, she enrolled in a holistic nutrition program at the Institute for Integrative Nutrition in New York City to help her understand and control the disease. While there, she was introduced to the concepts of mindfulness and spirituality.

“It was a life-changing experience for me,” she said. “I started to see positive changes flow into my life, and I let go of a lot of worry and anxiety.” Since then, she has continued to study mindfulness and meditation as a way to help her patients deal with the stresses of everyday life.

Though weight issues are addressed in the book, her message is more about self-compassion and self-care, and Baretz teaches mindfulness as a way of life. As anyone who has been on a diet and failed can attest, maintaining a strict diet regimen is often impossible and almost always self-defeating.

“The book is all about nourishing yourself from the inside, so you can flourish on the outside,” she said. While many women focus on trying to be the perfect size (in our society, that means skinny), Baretz stresses that mindfulness can help switch our priority from what we look like to the acceptance of ourselves as we are, which is very empowering.

Mindfulness can also help with all aspects and relationships in your life, Baretz notes. “Mindfulness increases your capacity to deal with stress and overwhelming situations because you are learning how to calm your body and your mind,” she said. “It’s not shutting off your thoughts; rather, it’s pressing a ‘stop’ button on them so you can change your relationship toward them.” After all, we all face adversity in one way or another, and there are many things in life that are beyond our control. While we can’t control the challenges we face, mindfulness and meditation help us “struggle well,” she said. “By taming our minds and focusing on the present, we can decrease our anxiety.”

The book brings mindfulness and meditation to people who wouldn’t normally seek out a practice that does have some negative stereotypes–something only for the yoga and Zen set. But Baretz hopes that the book will open people’s minds to the power of the practice. And that, she says, is her goal.

“I love watching people transform,” she said. “When they change the way they think, their whole world changes.”

Each chapter of Mindful is the New Skinny, which is Baretz’ first book, features a meditation session that can be downloaded. The book will be available this spring/summer on Amazon in print and kindle versions, and Baretz will conduct a free book talk at the Chappaqua library upon the book’s release. Visit www.jodibaretz.com for more information on her practice, upcoming talks, as well as a sneak peek free chapter of her book.

‘What Happened’ Book Signing by Hillary Clinton: A SOLD OUT Event at the Chappaqua Library

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On Saturday, September 23, 3-5 p.m., the Chappaqua Library will host a now SOLD OUT book signing event for Secretary Hillary Rodham Clinton and her already much discussed new title What Happened.

This will be Clinton’s third book signing at the Library following packed and also sold out events over the years at the Chappaqua Library too for signings of It Takes a Village and Hard Choices.

“Hillary Clinton is a really strong supporter of the local library,” noted Pamela Thornton, executive director of the Chappaqua Library. “We are always glad to host her when asked. Of course as you can imagine, the logistics take a great deal of preparation for safety and security reasons but it’s always an exciting event. It’s a special event for everyone.

“It’s a unique opportunity for local residents to meet  Secretary Clinton and have a book personally signed by her,” Thornton added. “But she’s also a resident of Chappaqua and a local author who chooses to support her community and library by being here.”     — Grace Bennett

The Library’s release noted the following for attendees:

This is a book signing only. Each $32 ticket (including tax) includes a wristband to access the signing line, as well as ONE hardcover copy of What Happened; books are distributed at the signing table. YOU MUST BRING YOUR TICKET TO THE EVENT.

Wristbands for entry will be distributed to ticketholders beginning at 9:00 AM on the day of the event. Please arrive no earlier than 9:00 AM and no later than 4:30 PM. All ticketholders will have their book(s) signed.   Additional copies of What Happened, as well as Clinton’s new children’s picture book It Takes a Village, will be available for sale on site through Scattered Books and the Village Bookstore.  Clinton will sign up to two (2) books total per customer (signature only, no personalization).

No other books or memorabilia, personalizing, or posing for photos.

Due to increased security, customers will not be allowed to bring any large items (bags, chairs, etc.) into the event space. A bag check will be provided.

The Chappaqua Library also offered thanks to Scattered Books and the Village Bookstore “for making this event possible.”

Excerpt From Jacqueline Goldstein’s ‘Ms. Murphy’s Makeover’

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Jacqueline Goldstein’s Ms. Murphy’s Makeover is the story of a collapsing marriage and second-time-around love, but it also provides insider insight into a topical problem–the pitfalls of too much emphasis on standardized testing in schools today. An urban teacher and suburban wife, Charlotte Murphy, comes to suspect that her husband is cheating and that the principal of the vocational school where she teaches English has changed the answers on a Regents exam. Sensing their teacher’s unhappiness, her students contrive to give her a movie-star makeover. When they’re done, Charlotte doesn’t recognize herself and vows to change her life. Charlotte’s new life is complicated by the attention of Theodore Lagakis, the school’s dean, who has a hidden agenda. Whom can she trust? …

4th-cover“Bertie Trombetta died last night. A heart attack. The witch is dead!”

It took a moment for Charlotte to process this information. In the distance, a church bell chimed. Ask not for whom the bell tolls.

Natalie bowed her head and folded her hands in pretend piety, their lacquered red nails pointing to the ceiling. “There is a God, after all.”

Charlotte closed her eyes and swallowed hard. “Dead? Are you sure? She was here Friday, teaching across the hall.”

The image of Bertha Trombetta, smoking, floated before Charlotte’s eyes.

“Screaming her head off, probably. I bet she gave herself the heart attack. But I must say her timing was perfect.”

This was cold, even for Natalie. But the principal was under a lot of pressure. Charlotte thought she understood. “Are you saying the visitors won’t come?”

Natalie gave a short laugh. “Nothing can stop that.” She placed her hands on Charlotte’s desk and leaned in close. “Life goes on. That’s actually why I’m here. Charlotte, I need you to go to Bertie’s funeral.”

Charlotte immediately shook her head no.

Natalie waved a hand, anticipating Charlotte’s objection. “I know, I know. I should go myself. Normally, I would. But I can’t this week. Not with the visitors from State Ed here. And someone has to represent the school.”

Charlotte thought of an escape. “Does Lagakis know?”

Natalie nodded. “I just told him. He’s in his office, on the phone with the family.”

“Perfect. Send him. Or do we need him in the school?”

Natalie laughed a second time. “Be serious. But yes, he asked and I can’t very well refuse. You’ll have to go with him. I’m sorry.”

Charlotte exploded. “No! And Bertie wouldn’t want me there.”

Natalie smiled, showing newly whitened teeth. “She won’t know.”

Technically, Charlotte could refuse. But Natalie was more than her boss. She was a friend, of sorts. Twenty years ago, they had attended the same college. Natalie recognized Charlotte at a job fair three years ago and offered her the position of teaching English at a vocational high school for cosmetology.

At the time, downsizing at Francis’s firm had made the Murphys anxious, and Francis had been relieved when Charlotte was offered work. He’d kept his job, however, along with a big raise. Now he was after her to quit. And Charlotte didn’t want to.

Natalie pressed her advantage. “You owe me, sweetie. I need this.”

Charlotte made a last ditch effort. “Look.” She pointed at her stack of journals. “I’m swamped.”

“Sweetie, I know you don’t read those things, anyway.”

“I read every word. Unless they ask me not to. It’s for critical thinking.” Charlotte put air quotes around the last two words.

“Save the buzz words for the visitors. I need this, Charlotte. With you there, maybe Lagakis will behave himself.”

“Good luck with that.” Charlotte sighed. “But all right. Under protest. And you owe me.”

“Excellent. Now. A teensy suggestion. At the funeral, glam up a little. Lose the librarian look for a day. Black dress. Heels. Hair down.”

“The librarian look? Is it that bad?”

“Look, we are a school of beauty here. So. You have a black dress?”

“I do, but Francis says black makes me look—conspicuous.” Her husband had used another word, but Natalie didn’t need more ammunition.

“Oh, yes. Pope Francis. Was he speaking ex cathedra?”

Charlotte had to smile at the image of her husband in papal vestments.

“I’d be on the phone to my lawyer so fast.”
Maybe that’s why you’re divorced. Aloud, Charlotte said, “What does it matter what I wear?”

One of Natalie’s more annoying habits was whispering behind her hand. She did so now, although they were alone in an empty room. “You never know who will show up at these things. Bertie was always threatening to go to the media. There may be reporters. That woman had a big mouth.”

“So? Wait. Is something wrong? Is that why State Ed is coming?”

Natalie looked Charlotte full in the eye. “Don’t be ridiculous. It’s a purely routine visit.”

Jacqueline Goldstein
Jacqueline Goldstein

Chappaqua resident Jacqueline Grandsire Goldstein grew up in the Fordham section of the Bronx, and taught high school English there for 25 years. After retiring from teaching, Jacqueline began to take classes at The Writing Institute at Sarah Lawrence College and also joined the informal writing workshop run by Joan Schulman at the Chappaqua Library. Her debut novel, Ms. Murphy’s Makeover, is a work of fiction, but it reflects her experiences as an urban teacher and suburban wife and mother. Jacqueline will be reading excerpts, taking questions, and signing books at nearby public libraries in December 8 (in North Castle), January 7 (in Bronxville, and January 21 (in Mount Kisco). For more information, visit www.jacquelinegoldstein.com.