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Family

When Mom is in Prison: Chappaqua Librarians Participate in Summer Program Reading to their Kids

June 3, 2017 by Janie Rosman

(L-R): Chappaqua Librarians Robbin Friedman and Miriam Lang Budin holding books read to kids with moms in prison.

Learning to read is a joy for children and their parents as a little one’s first sentences and their comprehension increase with their vocabularies. Sharing these moments can be challenging from afar, more so when the parent is incarcerated.

Miriam Lang Budin, head of children’s services at Chappaqua Library and children’s librarian Robbin Friedman, found a way to use books and reading to ease the pain of children who visit their mothers who are behind bars.

“About four years ago, I was invited to see preview screening of the film Mothers of Bedford (2011),” Budin told members of the Rotary Club of Chappaqua during its March luncheon.

The documentary by filmmaker Jenifer McShane details five incarcerated women at the Bedford Hills Correctional Facility. During the course of several years, McShane spoke with them, their children and families, the children’s caregivers, and prison employees and volunteers to understand parenting from a distance.

“It was an extraordinary movie about the women who are incarcerated in this maximum-security prison,” Budin shared. “Some of the women are pregnant when they arrive so they give birth at the prison. If they’re privileged enough, then they can keep their babies until the babies are two years old.”

Moved by the film, she “wondered how the library could help them in their heartbreaking situation and knew books were the perfect answer.” Research led her to Hour Children®, which runs family programs at the Bedford Hills facility and at the Taconic Correctional Facility.

This will be the fourth summer she and Friedman will read to children visiting their mothers, one component of the facility’s Summer Program. Local families open their homes to inmates’ children for one week each during six week-program, allowing them to spend time more time with their mothers as contact is otherwise by telephone or mail.

Rebecca Sussman, Teen Program Coordinator, Hour Children’s Center, explained the story time program, one of many for families. “From Sunday through Thursday–six times during July and August–children stay with host families in the area and visit their moms during the day,” Sussman explained. “Some of them (children) are siblings, some of them know each other during the years, and some come (to the readings) with their mothers,’ Friedman said. “We never know how many people will show up when we’re there; sometimes up to 36 people (mothers and children) attend.”

All programs take place in the visiting room, behind which is a children’s area that looks like a nursery, and where Friedman and Budin read to the children.

“The visiting room is open to any child of any age; (however), kids from ages 5 to 17 are eligible to be hosted by families during the summer. Their presence evokes a positive reaction in parents who are reluctant to participate. “That’s the goal: to get everyone involved,” Friedman emphasized. “Reading is a good way to get everyone engaged.”

How do they hold everyone’s attention given the vast age range? “We bring picture books or early readers and poetry,” Budin said, “as there’s not enough time to read chapter books or novels, and one child can read a poem or an older child can read to a younger child.”

One favorite is Mirror Mirror: A Book of Reverso Poems by Marilyn Singer. The author’s poem can be read forward and backward, and the latter will have a different meaning. Another is We Are in a Book! from Mo Willems’ series.

“The book has lively dialogue and engages the reader,” Budin explained. Elephant Gerald and Piggie realize they are characters in a book that’s being read, and once they’re more at ease with this, they become upset that the book will end.

“Hello. Will you please read us again?” the characters ask whoever’s reading the book.

Budin and Friedman agree their efforts are well-received. “We get thank-you letters and lots of positive feedback from the families,” Budin said, adding, “sometimes we see families again the next year.”

Both are glad they found a way to work with the population and find it “fulfilling to serve people who would not otherwise have had the same opportunity,” Budin said. Each child who participates in the reading program goes home with a new, age-appropriate book to reread with another adult or by him/herself.

Those who are interested in offering books can visit http://hourchildren.org/. Families interested in hosting children for one week during the summer can contact Deb Rigano, Summer Program Coordinator, at drigano@hourchildren.org.

Filed Under: Cover Stories Tagged With: Chappaqua Librarians, Chappaqua library, Children of Mothers in Prison, Family, Mothers, Mothers in Prison, reading, Reading to Children, theinsidepress.com

Olivia Berk Celebrates 10 with an Ice Cream Social at Maria Fareri Children’s Hospital

June 3, 2017 by The Inside Press

L-R: Dana Berk, Olivia Berk, Sam Berk, Seth Berk, Alanna Levine

On Thursday April 27th, 10 year old Olivia Berk, accompanied by her parents, brother Sam and her Aunt Lon, arrived at the Maria Fareri Children’s Hospital in Valhalla. Their car was filled to the top with 10 gallons of ice cream and enough sundae toppings to cover twice as much.

Earlier this year, Olivia, a fourth grader at Roaring Brook School, had started brainstorming 10th birthday celebration ideas. Guided by her heart, her mom, Dana Berk, explained that Olivia felt it was important to share her birthday celebration with the kids at Maria Fareri. Over the last year and a half, Olivia has spent a lot of time there as her cousin Charlie was diagnosed with Acute Lymphoblastic Leukemia. (ALL). “Thankfully, he is on the path to recovery but the experience has left a lasting impression, especially for Olivia,” said Dana.

Olivia and her family and friends created an Ice Cream Social for the children and staff who are currently at the hospital. Olivia’s friends’ parents appreciated the opportunity to contribute to a group gift, some even giving double the “normal” amount in order support the hospital staff and patients.

The two-hour Ice Cream Social was remarkable as the patients and dedicated staff were able to make the Ice Cream Sundae of their choice. It was certainly the highlight of everyone’s day, said Dana. One young girl being pushed in a wheelchair said to Olivia, “Thank you.” Olivia replied, “You don’t have to thank me, you just have to smile.”

Filed Under: Chappaqua Community Tagged With: anniversary, Family, Ice Cream, Ice Cream Social, Maria Fareri Children’s Hospital, Olivia Berk, Pediatric Cancer

Lasting Legacies

April 24, 2017 by Dana Y. Wu

Four young women share what they learned or inherited from their mothers and grandmothers.


KRISHNA PATEL

Krishna Patel

A Horace Greeley High School junior, Krishna Patel realizes that she has a very different reality than her grandmother’s experience at 16-years-old. “My life consists of scurrying from one extracurricular to the next, staying up late to get my homework done, and spending the weekends with my friends. My grandmother dropped out of 10th grade to get married and start a family of her own, as was common in the 1950s in rural India.

I will never forget when she presented me with two thick silver anklets.  I was 14 and she was visiting from San Francisco.  She called me into the kitchen of our house in Millwood.  She said she had something for me.  “The same ones I wore on my wedding day, 60 years ago,” she said.

“I wasn’t much older than you.”

Krishna’s grandmother

Krishna appreciates how her grandmother found the courage to break from tradition to become a strong, outgoing, powerful woman, and set the precedent for the other women in the family to do the same. “When my grandfather, a prominent Assemblyman, was imprisoned due to his political views, my grandmother continued to be an activist for reform, against his wishes due to concerns for her safety. My grandmother was very brave when, at 40, she had the chance to join her brother in the United States.

She taught herself English and took up a job at a perfume factory to finance a new life here.”


MADDY CHEN

Maddy Chen

Similar to Krishna’s grandmother, Maddy Chen’s grandmother also had little to say about her marriage. Both her grandmother and her grandmother’s identical twin sister, who was born first in 1938, had arranged marriages in Hainan, China.  The firstborn was promised to a village boy who became a rice farmer. Maddy’s grandmother, was also betrothed in 1940 to a village boy, but he later immigrated to America and became a doctor. “This two minute difference between my grandmother and her twin has extended across the generations.” Maddy, a senior at Centennial High School in Maryland, reflects.

“My grandmother’s twin had a son who became the local village butcher. Every day, he wakes up at 4 a.m. to slaughter a pig. He spends the rest of his day selling pieces of meat in a hot, crowded, smelly, open air market.  My mother is a dermatologist who uses her hands only to perform delicate skin surgeries. I often ponder what would have happened to my grandmother, my mother, and me if the second born twin married the rice farmer.”

Maddy Chen and her family

HANNAH FENLON

Our author, Hannah Fenlon and her Great Grandmother, Yuan Lau Chan Man

It is possible be both the same and wildly different from the women in one’s family. In Hannah Fenlon’s family, Hannah learned cultural traditions by cooking with her great grandmother and grandmother, just as her mother and aunts did. “Whatever the size or shape or “mistakes” my little hands made when we gathered to make dumplings, I also saw my great-grandmother’s expert, lovely hands pinching the dough just so, plopping them in boiling water and then, scooping the delicious dumplings as they floated to the top of the pot.”

Hannah, a junior at Horace Greeley High School, also inherited creative abilities and attention to detail from her grandmother and great-grandmother who were talented seamstresses. “Ever since I was a little kid, I liked arts and crafts.” says Hannah. “And I loved learning to quilt.”


ALEXIS DRAPER

Alexi Draper

Teaching yoga, sharing a laugh and traveling are among the many things that connect Alexis Draper and her mother, Susan, of Armonk. Alexis, now a freshman at Texas Christian University, recalls a special summer in Todi, a small village in the hills of Umbria, Italy.

This trip was in preparation for Alexis’s first year of Italian study at Byram Hills High School.  Each morning, Alexis said, she and her mom “left their little apartment and walked down the cobble stone steps to the pastry shop in town, and then went to our classroom to learn Italian. Though we lived there for only two weeks, we progressed from just waving “hello” to having small conversations with the lady who would feed the stray cats, with the woman from our favorite boutique, and with the servers in the restaurants.”

She and her mom took the afternoons to drive to different ancient towns, exploring places like the grandiose Basilica of San Francesco in Assisi, hiking up the mountain at Cascata della Marmore (waterfalls), and riding a birdcage-like funicular to the top of Gubbio. “All the sites were spectacular, but the magic of the trip was really in Todi itself because my mom and I learned something new together every day.”  On one of their last evenings in town, Alexis and her mom participated in a cooking lesson at a local woman’s home. “We stumbled a bit through our recipes in our new found language but we enjoyed the fruits of our labor, dining under the stars with other travelers from around the world.”


As Alexis, Hannah, Maddy and Krishna shared these formative experiences with me and what they learned from the women in their families, I was reminded of a trip I took in 1995 with my grandmother to Weihai, China. It was the first time I met my great grandmother and my great aunt, who had been sent to a re-education labor camp during the Cultural Revolution.

My grandmother left behind her family at age 20 when she fled Communist China with my mother and her infant son. Her life journey took her from China, to Hong Kong, then Brazil and finally the United States.  When we were returning to New York, my great aunt gave us bundles of seaweed to take home.  She had roamed the shores surrounding Weihai, a city on a peninsula, to collect the seaweed. She dried the pieces in the sun and then wrapped them in scraps of cloth. She didn’t  have much money but arduously gathered these fragments culled from the sea of their hometown. Somehow, we made it through customs with those pungent bundles the size of pillows.

That seaweed connected three generations of women. That gift to my grandmother from her sister’s gnarled hands was my inheritance of courage, love, and hope.

Filed Under: Armonk Cover Stories Tagged With: Family, grandmother, Legacies, Memories of Mom, mother, mothers day

Caring for Caregivers

December 1, 2016 by Deborah Raider Notis

marian-loreal-mainIn 2002, Marian Hamilton, a guidebook writer, community volunteer, and mother of two teenage daughters, took on a new role. Her husband, Ken Hamilton, was diagnosed with mesothelioma, a fatal form of cancer, and she became his primary caregiver. Ken’s illness and her role as a caregiver left a lasting impact on Hamilton, and in 2005, she founded the Ken Hamilton Caregivers Center at Northern Westchester Hospital.

“People do not consider the physical, emotional, and financial toll that illness can take on the caregiver,” states Hamilton, who gained 20 pounds, went on anti-depressants, and wound up in the hospital, several times from exhaustion and depression. Hamilton’s husband was in four different hospitals in the New York metropolitan area. In addition to that non-stop stress, they had two teenage daughters at home.

When Ken passed away in 2004, Hamilton needed a change. The author of The Best of Westchester and The Best Things in New York Are Free was an active community volunteer who was serving on the Mount Kisco Child Care Board and co-chairing the Armonk Outdoor Art Show. But she needed to do something different; she decided to find a way to give caregivers the help that she couldn’t find throughout her husband’s illness.

Hamilton understood, firsthand, that caregivers need guidance and sounding boards, help navigating the hospital and medical world, and need to escape the sounds and smells of the hospital, even momentarily. In 2005, she approached Joel Seligman, President of the Northern Westchester Hospital. She made a presentation to his administrative team. She said, “They saw a need to help hospitals take care of families, but they were not financially equipped to do it.” Hamilton quickly implemented a fundraising campaign, and within six months she raised approximately $500,000 towards this project.

In January 2006, Hamilton and three volunteers started working with families. While the center was not yet built, they were able to implement a program to help families in need. Today, 10 years later, there is a physical center with over 30 volunteers and two social workers employed by the Ken Hamilton Caregivers Center. In the past 10 years, volunteers and social workers have interacted with over 50,000 families. “We make connections with families so that they do not feel isolated, we provide an extra set of ears during meetings with the medical team, we provide information on healthcare proxies and living wills, we help caregivers speak to children about illness, and we provide family meetings to help with care plans,” says Hamilton. And this is just a handful of the services that the center provides. They also offer bereavement counseling, support for caregivers with patients living at home, and a “Stay in Touch Program,” designed to follow up with caregivers after patients leave the hospital. “We don’t want caregivers to feel isolated,” stresses Hamilton.

Marian Hamilton founded the Ken Hamilton Caregivers Center in 2006.
Marian Hamilton founded the Ken Hamilton Caregivers Center in 2006.

Hamilton, who currently works part-time as the overseer and as a volunteer at the Ken Hamilton Caregivers Center, has taken her model to other hospitals as well. Now over 11 hospitals have their own fully independent caregiver centers. From White Plains Hospital in Westchester County to Mercy Medical in Iowa, hospitals are replicating Hamilton’s model to “provide more respite care for families.”

“We make connections with families so that they do not feel isolated, we provide an extra set of ears during meetings with the medical team, we provide information on healthcare proxies and living wills, we help caregivers speak to children about illness, and we provide family meetings to help with care plans,” says Hamilton.

Since its inception, the center has received seven awards, including the 2006 Planetree National Spirit of Caring Award for Best Program for Family Friends and Social Support and the 2014 Caregiver Action Network: Top Caregiver award for Excellence in Patient and Family Engagement. This year, Hamilton was personally honored with the 2016 L’Oreal Women of Worth Award. Hamilton, one of 6,200 nominees, is one of the top 10 honorees and earned a $10,000 grant for the Ken Hamilton Caregivers Center.

Going forward, Hamilton hopes to continue to make a difference in the lives of caregivers, noting, “Caregivers are a silent population in this country. Over 65 million people–29 percent of the population– are currently providing care to a loved one.” That is an overwhelming number of people who would greatly benefit from a connection to the Ken Hamilton Caregivers Center.

Deborah Notis is a writer and co-owner of gamechangernow.com, a free referral service connecting Westchester families to highly qualified instructors. Her writing can be found in the Inside publications as well as on suburbanmisfitmom.com.

Filed Under: Armonk Cover Stories Tagged With: Caring, Family, Ken Hamilton Caregivers Center, Marian Hamilton, Northern Westchester Hospital, Social Support

White Plains Hospital Medical & Wellness Celebrates 1st Anniversary in Armonk with Family Fun Day

September 23, 2016 by The Inside Press

family-fun-day-postcard-print-ready-2-1

White Plains Hospital, Burke Rehabilitation Hospital and Equinox Fitness Club are partnering to celebrate the one year anniversary of WPH’s Medical and Wellness facility in Armonk with a Family Fun Day on Saturday Oct. 1.  The event, which will feature a variety of games and activities for children and adults alike, will take place from 11 a.m. to 2 p.m. in the 99 Business Park Drive parking lot and is free and open to the public.

For Kids

Children can enjoy a day of fun-filled activities including a visit to the Ted E. Bear clinic, which uses stuffed animals to explain how to treat a variety of ‘boo boo’s and alleviate fears for children surrounding medical care. The first 100 children will receive a free teddy bear to take home.

For Grown-Ups

Equinox will also be on hand offering an array of classes and demonstrations to help families get active and stay in shape. For those looking to really break a sweat, the Armonk Fire Department will be running an obstacle course designed to be as fun as it is challenging.

For All

The new state-of-the-art White Plains Hospital Medical & Wellness facility will be on open for tours with physician meet-and-greets. Mammogram scheduling and on-site flu shots will also be available.

The afternoon includes something for everyone including live music, balloon sculpture, raffles and free giveaways, food trucks and pumpkin painting, courtesy of DeCiccos. To give back to the community, guests are asked to bring canned goods for donation to the Armonk Food Bank. A rain date is set for Oct. 2. For more information call (914) 681-2628.

The White Plains Hospital Medical and Wellness facility opened in late 2015 and features an urgent care center, comprehensive imaging center, and multispecialty outpatient physician practices in a variety of specialties, including primary care, pediatrics, endocrinology, neurology, cardiology and more.  The modern, spacious facility is located at 99 Business Park Drive in Armonk, just off route 22 and I-684.

“We hope area residents will come out to enjoy some fabulous activities and meet their neighbors at WPH Medical and Wellness,” said Frances Bordoni, VP of Business Development and Ambulatory and Physician Services at White Plains Hospital.  “We are thrilled to have been welcomed so warmly into northern Westchester over the past twelve months, and are looking forward to another great year providing outstanding healthcare services to members of the Armonk community.”

About White Plains Hospital

White Plains Hospital (WPH) is a proud member of the Montefiore Health System, serving as its tertiary hub of advanced care in the Hudson Valley.  WPH is a 292-bed not-for-profit health care organization with the primary mission of providing exceptional acute and preventive medical care to all people who live in, work in or visit Westchester County and its surrounding areas. Centers of Excellence include the Center for Cancer Care, The William & Sylvia Silberstein Neonatal & Maternity Center and The Ruth and Jerome A. Siegel Stroke Center. The Hospital’s Flanzer Emergency Department is the busiest in Westchester County, seeing nearly 57,000 visits a year. White Plains Hospital performs lifesaving emergency and elective angioplasty in its Joan and Alan Herfort, M.D. Cardiac Catheterization Laboratory and Marie Promuto Cardiac Catheterization Laboratory.  White Plains Hospital also has outpatient medical facilities in Armonk and New Rochelle.  The Hospital is fully accredited by the Joint Commission and earned its recognition as a Top Performer for Key Quality Measures® in 2015 and 2013. The Hospital is also an eleven-time winner of the Consumer Choice Award, an honor given to the nation’s top hospitals by the National Research Corporation, and received Magnet® designation in 2012 from the American Nurses Credentialing Center (ANCC).  In 2014 and 2016, White Plains Hospital received the Outstanding Patient Experience Award from Healthgrades®, given to only 10% of hospitals nationwide. For additional information, visit http://www.wphospital.org.

 

Filed Under: New Castle Releases Tagged With: Armonk, Burke Rehabilitation, celebration, Family, Family Fun, Inside Press, Medical and Wellness, Ted E. Bear Clinic, White Plains Hospital, WPH

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