The Inside Press

Magazines serving the communities of Northern Westchester

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The Adventurous Spirit

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Jodi Baretz at the Grand Opening of the Center for Health and Healing in Mount Kisco where she is a practitioner
Jodi Baretz at the Grand Opening of the Center for Health and Healing in Mount Kisco where she is a practitioner

By Jodi Baretz

Endings are naturally sad and beginnings are naturally scary. The end of the school year is bittersweet. June is full of graduations, whether it be from high school or simply moving up to the next school or grade. Wrapping up the year comes with many feelings, some of accomplishment, pride and excitement, and some of sadness for it’s the end of an era. It simply can have many meanings to different people based on their experience and where they are in life.

Moving up and moving out for our seniors can be an adventurous time. What will the next year be like? Will they make friends? Will they be happy? Will they survive? There is plenty to be nervous about. While there is plenty of uncertainty and unanswered questions, going into the unknown with a spirit of adventure can definitely allay some fears. Embracing this time of life, and being confident that all the preparation they have done has gotten them ready for this next phase is key. They are warriors and will prevail. While it’s all a new adventure, be prepared for the ups and downs. Be accepting of the fact that it’s ok if all doesn’t go perfectly.

“Always remember, it’s simply not an adventure worth telling if there aren’t any dragons.”
–Sarah Ban Breathnach

When we learn and grow, there may be some obstacles along the way, but that is what makes it all the better when we succeed. When we hold on too tightly to the notion of perfection, we fear the house of cards will fall at any time, so we can’t relax and enjoy the journey. Believe that you will be able to handle whatever comes, and so will they. There is nothing in life so far that you couldn’t handle. We get through it all, and the fears and stories we tell ourselves are so much worse than reality.

“It is impossible to live without failing at something, unless you live so cautiously, that you might as well not have lived at all; in which case, you’ve failed by default.”
–J.K. Rowling to Harvard in 2008

My oldest son will be a senior at Greeley next year, and there are so many emotions that go along with that. There are many ways to look at this, and based on the way I think about it, will determine how I handle this transitional period in our lives. I know that it will be time for him to go, and he will be ready for his adventure. However, every time I think of him moving on, I become an emotional wreck. I keep reminding myself that this isn’t about me, and he is ready. We can’t freeze time. On the other hand, I am ready for my next adventure.

While I thoroughly enjoyed raising my kids, (for the most part), now it’s time for me. It’s time to travel, dive into my career, and do things that I am passionate about. So many of us tend to lose ourselves when we are tending to our kids. I see this often in my practice, and it’s so important for us to have our own adventures, desires and time for ourselves, even while the kids are still home. Making time for yourself is not selfish, we become better parents and people when we have things in our life that have meaning besides our kids.

When my children were younger, my husband told me that I always seemed to be “searching” for something. I needed my adventure, and to find something I felt good about doing.

I got out there and tried many things until I found what I loved to do. I talk a lot about how fear holds us back, especially a fear of failure. Yes, you may fail. I have many times, and each time brought me to my next step in my journey. Failure just means you had the courage to get out there and do something.

Begin Again

So whether it’s you or your kids, we all have adventurous spirits inside of us, and need to get out there and do what we love to do. Beginnings are scary for everyone, and things may not always be perfect, and that is ok. Perfectionism is way overrated, and living and embracing all that live has to offer is way more important. Congratulations to all the graduating seniors and empty nesters that have successfully raised their children. You will both be off on your own adventures…be that warrior, take your spear, and don’t fear the peaks and valleys.

Jodi Baretz, LCSW, CHHC is a psychotherapist and holistic health coach at The Center for Health and Healing in Mt. Kisco. She specializes in helping busy men and women reduce stress and anxiety using mindfulness and meditation. Jodi runs a Mindfulness Bootcamp group called “Mindful is the New Skinny,” and speaks to various groups, schools and organizations on the topic. Please visit www.jodibaretz.com.

Keeping Your Pool in Tip-Top Shape: Advice from Pools of Perfection

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Spa Garden Armonk 2008

By Stacey Pfeffer

Taking a dip on a hot summer day in your backyard pool is the ultimate suburban luxury. Whether you wish to maintain, renovate or build a pool, Christopher Carthy and his Armonk-based business Pools of Perfection can help ensure that your pool is admired by all the neighbors this summer and beyond.

Carthy and his wife, orthodontist Dr. Laura Cannistraci Carthy, who practices in Mount Kisco and their three children, Theresa, Terence, and Camille, have spent many summer days relaxing in their Sarles Street backyard pool with friends and family. As befitting of a pool company business owner, Carthy describes his own pool as “all jazzed up. Every year I do something new to my pool.”

After working on Wall Street as a financial analyst for many years, Carthy decided to take a leap into the pool business. He had worked in the pool industry during college summer breaks and always loved it. Carthy originally started Pools of Perfection on Long Island in Roslyn and commuted from his home in New Rochelle. The business was so successful that he decided to open a second business on Main Street in Armonk after building a new home in town. In 2006, Carthy decided to make a lifestyle change to avoid the long commute to Long Island from Westchester and sold his Roslyn-based business. “I’m now 1.9 miles from my office and immersed in the local community,” Carthy says with a smile.

Carthy is truly dedicated to the town and serves as Vice President on the Armonk Chamber of Commerce. “My greatest focus from a service point of view is Armonk and Chappaqua. I live and work with my customers and I love that.”

Having worked in the pool industry for 30 years, Carthy knows a lot about how people utilize their pools and says swimming is actually not the primary reason why people build a pool.

“Most people have a pool as a beautiful landscape feature or focal point on their property. Many like to recreate in it and a few actually swim laps in it.” Carthy and his wife are like most of his customers. After a long day of work, they enjoy relaxing in their pool at night.

While Memorial Day signifies summer and the start of the pool season, Carthy finds that many of his customers are in fact opening up their pools in April and keeping them open until October. “In Westchester, everyone has a heated pool so a six-month season is not atypical. Many people have a spa attached to their pool and/or an auto-cover so while customers may not be swimming in their pool yet, they are enjoying the vista.”

Unlike most of his competitors, which bill customers piecemeal for the opening, the weekly maintenance, the service, the chemicals and the closing of their pool, Carthy’s company operates differently. “All our customers are on a comprehensive fixed price maintenance program so people who come on this year are paying the exact same price as someone who has used our company for ten years. It includes the opening, the closing, the initial vacuuming and water treatment, all chemicals and 15 weeks of maintenance. People can buy additional weeks if they’d like to extend their season.” Residents of the Byram Hills School District and the Chappaqua School District both receive a discount on the company’s comprehensive maintenance program.

Carthy’s company has won national design awards and also been recognized for outstanding engineering and technical achievement by the Association of Pool and Spa Professionals and the Northeast Spa and Pool Association. He likes to refer to his company as a “soup to nuts” shop where customers can rely on Pools of Perfection to design a pool, obtain permits, construct the pool and build additional features such as cabanas, outdoor kitchens and firepits. Once your pool is built, his company can maintain it for you to enjoy this summer and for years to come.

Stacey Pfeffer is an avid swimmer who lives in Chappaqua with her husband and three young children. She has written for NY Family, Westchester Parent, Kveller.com and Inside Chappaqua.

Thinking of Building a Pool? Tips from Christopher Carthy

chris pool man

  • Work with a company that uses 3D CAD design so that you can envision what the project will look like upon completion.
  • Develop a site plan and be aware of what is needed for your municipality to approve construction.
  • Hire a company that knows which applications are needed to approve the project (e.g., zoning, architecture, wetlands preservation) and can represent you before various boards. Pools of Perfection has a perfect record of permit procurement.
  • Design what you want. Sometimes customers want to minimize permit costs and the design can be tweaked to do that. Carthy notes though on the flipside that “sometimes it is worth it to embrace permit costs because the pool’s placement will ultimately add value to the home.”
  • Consider timing. Carthy suggests that the ideal time to build a pool is fall and then use spring to plant and finish any other features and roll out the pool the next season.

Avoiding Injuries While Getting Back into Shape

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Armonk Physical Therapy & Sports Training Clinical Director Robert Fay
Armonk Physical Therapy & Sports Training Clinical Director Robert Fay

Article and Photos By Andrew Vitelli

You’ve spent the summer sitting on your couch, your treadmill collecting dust and the golf course or tennis courts frosted over. Now, with temperatures finally back in the 70s, you’re eager to spend every free moment at the driving range or on the track, enjoying the sunshine while putting your underused muscles and joints through the wringer. It’s an experience many of us can relate to and, according to Armonk Physical Therapy & Sports Training Director Robert Fay, a leading cause of injuries during this time of the year.

“If you do too much too quickly it leads to overuse injuries like tendonitis, stress fractures and that sort of thing,” Fay explains. “A lot of these injuries can be avoided if people go a little slower as they start up. But I know that it’s hard sometimes.”

Fay, who co-founded Armonk PTST in 2001, sees an increase in these kinds of injuries around this time of year. A general rule of thumb for aerobic workouts, Fay says, is to increase your workout by no more than 15 percent from your previous efforts. If you’ve only been eking out a mile at a time on the treadmill over winter, don’t try running a half marathon the first time you make it to the track.

“As the weather starts to get nice, we’ll get somebody this weekend that’ll go out and play golf Saturday and Sunday, hadn’t picked up a club in several months, and go and play 18 holes,” Fay says. Instead, he suggests, “Maybe go and just play nine holes the first couple of times.”

A large part of Fay’s practice consists of treating patients who have sustained injuries, whether minor, like Tennis Elbow or tendinitis, or serious, such as an ACL or Achilles tendon tear. Fay and his staff also, however, will meet with healthy athletes to evaluate where they may be particularly prone to future injuries.

“If you have weakness in one joint, a lot of times that’s not the joint that you injure,” Fay explains. “You might have a shoulder weakness, and then you overuse the next joint.”

Or, for example, having strong quads but weak hamstrings could make you more likely to tear your ACL (anterior cruciate ligament). Of course, getting healthy people into a physical therapist’s office to prevent injuries is a lot tougher than it is to get them in once they’ve hurt themselves. Mostly, Fay says, those who come in for preventive treatment are high school athletes whose parents are concerned about potential injuries.

“But I think it should also be done for that weekend warrior, 40-year-old or 50-year-old type person,” Fay notes.

After evaluating the athletes, Fay’s team can advise them of what exercises or stretches they can do to address their deficiencies and lower the risk of injury. And if saving oneself from a serious injury isn’t sufficient motivation, Fay points out that the weaknesses that these injury prevention exercises address can also be hurting their performance. “So that’s the key thing that I think it’s very important to get across to people.”

Fay, now the sole owner, co-founded Armonk PTST in 2001 after previously working in Pleasantville and Greenwich, Conn. His aim is to give clients true one-on-one therapy, meaning their trainers are only working with one person for the full hour.

Physical therapist John Connolly works with client Gwen Grotta at Armonk Physical erapy & Sports Training
Physical therapist John Connolly works with client Gwen Grotta at Armonk Physical Therapy & Sports Training

Armonk PTST also offers services ranging from Pilates to occupational hand therapy (a full list can be found at their website, armonkptst.com). Armonk PTST’s trainers, Fay explains, have a greater understanding of injuries than a typical trainer, giving them insight when working with clients who have suffered injuries in the past.

Not all pain and soreness is injury related. Fay acknowledges that, as anyone who’s gotten back into working out after hiatus can attest, a moderate amount of soreness the next day or two can be expected. If, however, you feel pain during your workout rather than the day after, that can be a sign of an injury. Another red flag, Fay says, is if the pain is in the bone or tendon rather than the muscle.

While there’s no fool-proof way to avoid all injuries, taking precautions can make them a lot less likely. The two most important things to keep in mind, Fay concludes, are not overexerting yourself early on and addressing weaknesses and imbalances before you reach mid-season form. Otherwise, you may spend the bulk of the outdoor season rehabbing indoors.

For more information, visit http://www.armonkptst.com/. 

Andrew Vitelli, a lifelong Westchester resident, is the Guest Editor of Inside Armonk Magazine.

All About the Dress

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white dress

Focused attention and the perfect selection of dresses help to make the special event shopping experience personal and fun. “Our goal is to have the same girl return to us many times throughout her teenage years and rely on us as a trusted resource,” say owners Julie Paget and Liz Templeton. These are happy occasions and a positive shopping experience becomes part of the memory itself. allaboutthedressny.com

Home Alone for the Holidays? How To Embrace the Time

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Grown-up time! Our author (right) takes time away from kids to co-host an annual holiday party with Jennifer Cahill.
Grown-up time! Our author (right) takes time away from kids to co-host an annual holiday party with Jennifer Cahill.

By Miriam Longobardi

Many people experience the holidays alone, and that’s true, whether or not the choice is your own. Perhaps your grown child is spending the holidays with the in-laws or you’re newly separated or divorced and your children will be with the other parent. Those who have experienced the loss of a loved one may be facing the first holiday season without that person. Regardless of circumstances, there are strategies to ensure that holidays can be as peaceful and happy as possible!

As a single parent with sole custody, I am fortunate to have my children with me all the time, holidays included. Our traditions are a combination of those of my own childhood and newly created routines that have evolved over the years. One of our most difficult holidays was the first Christmas without my father, who had been the central father-figure of my children’s lives. We honored him by reliving happy memories of the years we had with him. It did not completely remove our sadness at his loss, but we tried to focus on the loving memories of him that we hold dear. Now that my oldest daughter is off to college, having her back in the house brings an extra energy to our season. I treasure our time together.

Sometimes there are fairly unique circumstances that have a family separated. Last year Shari, a local mother of two, remained home with the children, both high school students, while her husband Mitchell accepted a three-year assignment in Japan. The decision to have the family living apart while he takes advantage of a great business opportunity was not easy, nor was adjusting to their first holiday season apart.

“Being single last year during the holidays was extra difficult because I felt I had to do everything two adults had done in years prior. I thought I’d fail if I didn’t get it all done,” she shared. Succumbing to pressure she put on herself, she stayed up late and woke up early to work, cook, clean, decorate, shop, and bake and wound up run-down and sick through most of the season. “Before that, I had not been sick in nearly four years, so I knew I needed a different approach this year. I started meditating, took courses on mindfulness, and have decided that this is the year I approach that to-do list with a new and reasonable attitude. I have to enjoy the moment, each moment, whether or not my husband is there to enjoy it with me.”

If we feel well physically, we will cope more easily with holiday stress of any sort, suggests Sharon Gilchrest-O’Neill, Ed.S., LMFT, a licensed marriage and family therapist in Mount Kisco and the author of Sheltering Thoughts About Loss and Grief, among other books. Getting enough exercise releases endorphins that help maintain energy levels. For people prone to Seasonal Affective Disorder, head outside for fresh air and whatever sunshine is available for a vitamin D boost.

Staying connected to others is also important and Gilchrest-O’Neill recommends old-fashioned phone calls versus emails or texting, as well as getting enough sleep and eating as healthy as possible despite the many tempting holiday treats.

For families living with divorce, she recommends keeping things as calm and uncomplicated as possible. “This is not the time to deviate from your child custody agreements as consistency over time is critical for children’s sense of security. This is definitely not the time to bring a new person into the mix, someone you’ve been dating for a month or two. Be prepared for the inevitable feelings of loss that you will need to deal with; consider that very often these are not directly about your ex-spouse, but rather about the life you’ve created over the years,” she said. “If you’ve had a favorite custom or special food that makes you happy, be certain to carry on with it.”

Another friend of mine who is single embraces the fact that she does not have to share her holidays with any in-laws. Caroline, now in her 40s, was married briefly in her 20s and is a wonderful hostess who has always loved to entertain.

“I don’t have to worry about someone’s crabby aunt who’s going to complain about everything or putting my family aside to spend time with someone else’s. I have taken trips and flown off to visit friends in faraway places during the holidays,” she said. “I throw parties and gather together people of my own choosing and I really wouldn’t have it any other way.”

If you find yourself alone during the holidays, have a list of fun or interesting things you have been meaning to do or places to go and make sure you do something enjoyable just for you. Indulge in a spa treatment or a bucket of popcorn while watching one of the newly released films.

Reach out to a friend with whom you have lost touch. Staying connected to others, taking care of ourselves, drawing the line on that to-do list and prioritizing obligations are steps we can take throughout the year, but are especially important at a time of year when the pressure to celebrate can overwhelm. Take time for you this holiday season and get the New Year started right.

Miriam Longobardi is a freelance writer, fourth grade teacher and single mother of two daughters living in Westchester. A breast cancer survivor, she volunteers for the American Cancer Society, has completed four marathons and travels the world. Follow her on Twitter @writerMimiLong.