The Inside Press

Magazines serving the communities of Northern Westchester

The Inside Press

Help for Emotional Trauma – at Phelps Memorial

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By Ellen Bachner Greenberg

In the immediate aftermath of the train crash on February 3, 2015, local hospitals mobilized their trauma specialists and were ready to treat victims with physical injuries. Recognizing that a train crash of this magnitude can also affect people psychologically, Phelps Memorial Hospital Counseling Services also instituted a plan right away and notified the community that they are prepared and want to help anyone affected by this trauma through their counseling services.

Abby Schneider, LCSW, Program Director of Phelps Counseling Services, did not discuss the specifics of anyone connected to the crash, but did elaborate on the psychological symptoms people in the community might be experiencing. According to Schneider, the signs to look for following a traumatic event include “flashbacks, difficulty sleeping, nightmares, anything acute that was not there before, difficulty eating, and waking up in the middle of the night–maybe in a sweat.” These symptoms are not limited to only the injured, but can also be felt by those who were on the train. Additionally, a horrific train crash such as this one can also have traumatic effects on family and friends who worry about what happened to their loved ones. It would not be terribly unusual for commuters who ride the train regularly to “worry if this could happen again. It really does affect the entire community.”

For those who are experiencing some of these symptoms or feel the need for support, Schneider emphasizes the importance of reaching out for counseling. Phelps Counseling Services recognizes the need for immediacy and has instructed staff members to inform people contacting them regarding the crash that they can come in right away and be seen that day. Experiencing trauma need not be an immediate reaction and often something happens later on that might trigger the traumatic event again. This could even occur months later and at that time someone might become symptomatic. Schneider urges anyone in this situation to seek counseling at that time.

Schneider stresses that Phelps Counseling Services is “experienced in crisis intervention and is here and ready to help. We are responsive to the community and want to get the word out.”

Ellen Bachner Greenberg, a lifelong resident of Westchester, is a certified 
Life Coach.

Lessons from a Tragedy

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By Jodi Baretz

It is always more difficult to mourn when death is unexpected and tragic. The recent horrific train crash in Westchester this month from which six people were randomly taken from us, doesn’t make any sense. The impermanence and uncertainty of life is very difficult for us to wrap our heads around. Yet, sometimes it takes a tragedy to wake us up to how precious our lives are. When we face mortality, it puts everything in perspective. We all know of terminally ill patients who get a new lease on life, and often dramatically change the way they live. When we are faced with our own mortality, our whole view of life can change and we realize what matters. We live with more freedom and don’t sweat the small stuff.WomanYoga

Crisis as Opportunity

I learned about the fragility of life at an early age; I was just 15 when my father, 39, died tragically and unexpectedly. My life changed abruptly, and I have become the person I am today because of the many lessons learned from this shattering event. Sometimes, crisis can be an unbelievable opportunity to learn and grow. Its message may have been brought to all of us, so we wake up, enjoy the journey and be grateful for the gift of life.

We are always rushing to do more, and don’t often appreciate what we have. We wear stress as a badge of honor, and think: if we are busy, we must be important. We are in a race to nowhere. All this busyness can lead to depression, anxiety and lots of stress. There is no downtime anymore, and when there is, we have a multitude of screens that can distract us. When we live life in the fast lane, we don’t slow down enough to be present and live in each moment.

Our thoughts are stuck in the past, thinking about how we ended up in this unsatisfactory life, or in the future, being anxious about things that will probably never happen.

To experience peace, we have to intentionally slow down, connect with our current lives, and cultivate gratefulness. The practice of mindfulness is becoming increasingly popular in our culture, as one way to counteract all the “busyness” of our lives. It has been scientifically proven to decrease stress, as well as having a host of other emotional and physical benefits.

Today, technology gives us the ability to work around the clock, including weekends, and never turn it off. Mindfulness builds in a break for us, even from the constant chatter of our mind. It can bring us clarity, focus; an awareness arises when we pay attention to the present moment without judgment.

Meditation, as an exercise, quiets the mind; it literally can rewire the brain. People often say they can’t mediate because they could never slow down their mind. Guess what? Those people need it the most–myself included! Meditation is not shutting your mind off; that’s impossible. It is observing what thoughts are there, labeling them thinking, and then gently coming back to observing your breath. Simple enough. Five to ten minutes a day can make a huge difference. It may even bring you some peace to send thoughts of compassion to the victims of the crash, their families or others who are hurting. It also may be nice to send some much needed compassion to yourself and stop trying to always be better, smarter, richer. You’re fine the way you are!

Toward Peace of Mind

My heart goes out to the families of the victims. I know firsthand that, with time, they will survive, heal, grow and learn. I share my lesson and the lesson of the train crash with the hope that it helps you to appreciate life, slow down and change the way you relate to the mini-traumas of daily life. You cannot always change your circumstances, but how you respond to them defines your quality of life and peace of mind. What would you do differently if you knew you did not have a lot of time left?

In addition to being a Chappaqua mom, Jodi Baretz is a psychotherapist with a private practice at The Center for Health and Healing in Mt. Kisco. She leads a variety of mindfulness workshops including a Modern Day Mindfulness class for Chappaqua Continuing Ed, and a Mindfulness and Stigma workshop for “Stop Stigma Now,” both upcoming in March. You can reach her at jodibaretz@gmail.com, or visit her website, 
www.jodibaretz.com

Interfaith Council’s Blood Drive 


In response to the tragic accident, the Chappaqua Interfaith Council organized a blood donation drive on February 8th at Temple Beth El. Representatives from the New York Blood Center were on hand to take donations at Temple Beth El 
at 220 South Bedford Road 
here in Chappaqua.

Robert Dirks Memorial Fund

robert-dirksThe family of Robert Dirks has created a fund to help his wife, Christine, and two young children, Owen, 5, and Phoebe, 2, with immediate expenses. In the first 24 hours of the fund’s creation, almost $50,000 was raised, thanks to efforts by Chappaqua Cares and the Chappaqua Moms Facebook group. Friends and neighbors of the Dirks, as well as local businesses, have rallied to help.
A benefit is planned at Jodi’s Gym on March 15th.

Donations may be made at: www.youcaring.com

Robert Dirks Memorial and Family Fund

Habitat for Humanity of Westchester 
Builds Affordable Housing – and So Much More

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Pictured on this page and the next one are local college student volunteers hard at work finishing a Veteran's home in Yonkers in late January.
Pictured on this page and the next one are local college student volunteers hard at work finishing a Veteran’s home in Yonkers in late January.

By Miriam Longobardi

Many students eager to join volunteer organizations that build homes in impoverished communities choose exotic locales such as Africa, Haiti, or Central America. This frustrates Jim Kiloran, Executive Director of Habitat for Humanity of Westchester. “I’ve seen people die in substandard housing right here in Westchester County, though few can believe that. Greed overtakes practical, simple living. Nobody should go to bed in substandard housing in one of America’s wealthiest counties,” he told me. This passionate belief drove Jim to get involved with Habitat nearly thirty years ago, taking over and transforming entire communities, and meeting five presidents along the way. He finds it discouraging that, in Westchester, with its wealth, top students and corporate leaders, so few people become locally involved. Even many in the faith communities take their youth groups out of town on mission projects.

habitat-oneGrowing up, Jim recalls hearing about the extremes of wealth in the US and the war on poverty. He also thought about community and demographics, and was motivated to become involved at a grass roots level. He believes that affordable housing creates a “neighborhood” in the true sense of the word; a community where families and local businesses are connected and grow. Today, with shifting demographics, this is more important than ever. “Generations of families living in one community is a foreign concept today,” suggests Jim. As kids grow up and move away, and older people move to warmer climates, the lack of connectivity within communities impacts everyone from residents to local businesses. Affordable housing makes it more viable for people to stay in their homes and this, in turn, maintains the community.

“The best thing that ever happened was Byram Hills High School starting a Habitat Club,” he said. This was thanks to Dwayne Smith, a Byram Hills teacher and the Habitat Club advisor until 2009. Byram Hills was the first high school in Westchester to do this, and now sixty area schools have Habitat Clubs. Empowering youth to use their abilities to transform neighborhoods is what gives Jim hope. “I don’t need politicians, I need people.”

Brandon Michaels, a Byram Hills graduate and now college junior, is an example of how getting involved at an early age changes lives. Growing up in Armonk, he was “shell-shocked” at age thirteen when, along with a friend whose older sibling was a Habitat Club member, he went into a dilapidated church in New Rochelle to help paint. “What can I possibly do to improve this?” he thought, seeing peeling paint and rusty folding chairs. Though he felt their improvements were modest, church members were incredibly 
grateful for all their hard work. This feeling of having made a difference is what inspired him.

habitat-2As a freshman he became very involved in Habitat Club, regularly attending meetings, organizing monthly fundraisers and going to building sites. Habitat Club members face logistical problems as their work is done off school grounds and on weekends. Transportation to and from job sites took organizing, but car pools formed so kids could arrive together. Parents also had concerns about the neighborhoods where the kids worked, the tools they were using, and the nature of the work. “This work is very challenging,” Brandon said. As his commitment became evident to Jim, Brandon was given more responsibilities and the leadership role of site supervisor. Parents trusted Brandon to drive their kids and look out for them on job sites.

Brandon was instrumental in recruiting other students and strengthening the club, even doing his senior internship with Habitat. He recognizes that his relationship with Jim has evolved into friendship. “I enjoy the work. I always have. We have so much more than so many people – this is not anything I’d do for recognition.” That said, Brandon was recognized after his senior internship and honored with a plaque at the annual Habitat luncheon.

His advice to students is to join Habitat Club or create one. In addition to volunteering on job sites, there are area Habitat Restores that sell household items such as gently used furniture, appliances, and building materials at greatly reduced prices. These stores are in constant need of volunteers and a great way to get one’s foot in the door and be considered for job site work. 
“If Jim knows who you are, you’re doing something right,” Brandon said.

Meanwhile, Jim continues his crusade to have Habitat homes in every town in Westchester. “Without affordable housing, Westchester cannot succeed. We were all put on this earth to volunteer,” he said. “Let’s take that wealth, knowledge and ability and transform. We can do it!”

Are you ready to volunteer? Jim is waiting for you.
For more information, visit www.habitatwc.org

Miriam is a freelance writer, fourth grade teacher and single mother of two daughters living in Westchester. A breast cancer survivor, she volunteers for the American Cancer Society and has completed four marathons and travels the world. Follow her on Twitter @writerMimiLong.

What ‘Making it’ Actually Means

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Editor’s Note: In a search for meaning, Inside Chappaqua also came across this noteworthy post on Facebook from Rabbi Aaron Brusso, Spiritual Leader of 
Bet Torah Synagogue in Mount Kisco.

By Rabbi Aaron Brusso

Sometimes the dividing line between safety and danger is a surgical margin of glass and metal. The thickness of that margin in our minds is not measured in inches but in familiarity.

What we do every day feels like sitting on a cushioned bench reading emails or doing the crossword puzzle. What we do every day doesn’t feel even remotely connected to a collision in which the margin bends, twists and melts by fire. Life can feel like a dream lived in our minds until we are reminded how very real it is. Something happens and we wake to realize that we are here.

When our kids were little Hana and I would wake them up by singing:

Modeh ani lefanecha melech chai v’kayam she’hechazarta bi nishmati b’chemla. Rabbah emunatecha.

“I am grateful to You, living and enduring God, for restoring my soul to me in compassion. You are faithful beyond measure”.

We would sing a song to wake them up to the fact that they woke up. As they have gotten older, mornings have grown more hectic…and way too familiar. There seems to be less time for these sentiments. There seems to be less “usefulness” for them too.

But then there’s the day when mom takes the train and makes it home.

We spend so much time wondering if she will “make it on time” or “make it in time”. And then we remember what “making it” actually means.

There is a surgical margin of familiarity between one moment and the next in our lives. Moments that feel similar can go by without the awareness that we have arrived at a moment in time in which we have never before lived…and we are alive to see it. We are all hurtling forward surrounded by glass, metal and familiarity…things that protect us from danger… things that insulate us from appreciation.

May the memories of those who lost their lives be forever a blessing.

The Show Must Go On

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Young actors from the Lighthouse Youth Theatre in a production of Armonk’s Standing Ovation Studios
Young actors from the Lighthouse Youth Theatre in a production of Armonk’s
Standing Ovation Studios

By Michall Jeffers

Look closely at the lively theatre scene in our community. In every group, you’ll find shining stars making everything possible.

“I love working with kids!”- John Fanelli’s enthusiasm is catching. He’s more than just the Founder and Artistic Director of Standing Ovation Studios; he’s a man on a mission. “We change lives one show at a time. What we do is all about building self-confidence. We are proud to be Educational Theatre.” While John’s programs are filled with talented youngsters, his goal isn’t to groom future Broadway stars, but rather to teach kids. He tells them, “Trust your talent. You don’t have to be great at singing, dancing, or acting.” And he adds, “Everyone is welcomed with open arms; we insist on it.” But for those who are thinking of a career in theatre, this is also the place to hone the necessary skills. Fanelli provides practical guidance; an audition workshop is vital to learning the business of acting. Another benefit to students is John’s knowledge of what’s going on in New York theatre. He recommends shows on- and Off-Broadway, urging students to see professional theatre work at its finest.

John Fanelli of Standing Ovation Studios. John Warner Photo
John Fanelli of Standing Ovation Studios. John Warner Photo

Theatre is a family affair for the Fanellis. Wife Nannette is Executive Producer; kids Jackson, 16, Ryan, 14, and Grace, 9, are all involved. John understands the pressure to get into the right school, and has become an expert at recommending “theatre rich” colleges. He easily reels off the names of prestigious schools his students attend. He also tracks the progress of former students, including American Idol’s Adam Lambert. John is refreshingly free of ego for a man of his accomplishments. He’s directed, taught and created programs for young people in the arts for 20 years. Lighthouse Youth Theatre, the performance arm of the program, was formed in 2006. In 2013, Fanelli raised money to build his new state-of-the-art musical theatre space called Standing Ovation Studios, in Armonk. This was a giant leap forward. “We always had the teaching skills and now we have the facilities to take our students to the next level.” The space is massive, but fills up quickly with creative energy.

In planning his line-up, John not only confers with his staff, he also appreciates feedback from students and parents. Youngsters come to study “because they hear from friends that we have a program that fosters a positive environment where students can explore their own creativity. All of my teachers and technical staff are theatre professionals who have a passion for teaching the craft.  A large majority of our audience is friends and family of the students, but we’re now getting many people who come to our shows with no connection to the cast because you can see a terrific show with talent and excellent production value for a great price. I truly believe that good youth theatre is the new community theatre,” enthuses John. Spring and summer programs include acting and dance classes for all ages and skill levels.

From The Small Town Theatre Company’s 2013 production of The Shadow Box. Sam Morell Photo
From The Small Town Theatre Company’s 2013 production of The Shadow Box. Sam Morell Photo

Performance is at a fever pitch during spring and summer with several age groups participating: Lollipops (Ages 5-9), Spotlight (Ages 5-12), Main-stage (Ages 8-18) and Protege (audition-only group for serious actors ages 13-18). In addition, there are one week programs using the hottest Musical Theatre shows to teach musical theatre technique, and summer workshops at Standing Ovation Studios in Armonk and at the Ridgefield Playhouse in Connecticut.

“I’m very lucky; I like what I do,” smiles John Fanelli. Students and parents feel lucky, too. For further information: standingovationstudios.org or office@lytshows.org

Sam Morell is a font of knowledge about Armonk; he goes to town meetings, supports candidates, and can suggest the best restaurants in the area. His affection for the town led him to form The Small Town Theatre Company. He and co-founder Donna Garr were out walking one day in 2008. Garr reminisced about the way things used to be, when the village was smaller and cultural events were shared and appreciated by the tight-knit community. “We could do that now,” Sam realized. The Hergenhan Center would be ideal. The idea became a reality with the help of many others who shared the vision. Participants come from various walks of life, and numerous types of entertainment are involved. Sam asserts, “The common denominator is that it has to be quality.”

Sam Morell of The Small Town Theatre Company. John Warner Photo
Sam Morell of The Small Town Theatre Company. John Warner Photo

The mission is “to work with highly creative, talented, and dedicated people to produce high quality cultural events in the Westchester area.  These include theatrical plays, summer concerts, play readings, variety showcases, as well as theatre and film festivals.” In October, 2010, the group produced its first annual Theatre Festival of short plays, including both comedies and dramas; in the spring of 2011, the first annual Film Festival was organized.

Morell, a highly intelligent chemical engineer and entrepreneur with a curious mind, has learned a great deal from the experience. His work has been helped by his avocation. His acting/directing involvement allows him to balance his “left-brain” engineering activities with a “right-brain” theatrical experience. He “was forced to learn and make use of creative tools (video, photography, motion graphics, audio, editing, etc.) to help promote The Small Town Theatre Company…I now appreciate how to deploy these creative tools on highly technical subjects which makes our technical presentations more interesting.” In return, he’s helped more creative types to successfully market themselves.

From Armonk Players’ 2008 production of Lend Me A Tenor. Pia Haas Photo
From Armonk Players’ 2008 production of Lend Me A Tenor. Pia Haas Photo

The more serious you are about the work, the more important it is to keep a sense of humor. Sam recalls “one time we were doing a mini concert titled, “Three Sopranos and a Piano,” and the pianist forgot to turn off his mobile phone.  One of his family members unexpectedly called him and the loud phone ringing was amplified and broadcasted via his lapel mike to our audience. To lighten up the embarrassing interruption, the pianist blurted out to the caller, ‘I thought I told you to not call me at work!!!’  Naturally, it took some time for the laughter and giggling to stop by both the performers and our audience. I would say it took about a good five minutes before decorum was restored.”

Quality is always at the forefront of Sam’s mind. “You must ask yourself if you feel satisfied that you’re doing justice to your art. You should be your own best critic. All aspects of production are your canvas. Are you proud of your work?” In the case of Sam Morell, the answer must be a resounding ‘Yes!’ Upcoming productions include: Orphans by Lyle Kessler on April 17, 18, 24, 25 and I Am My Own Wife on June 12, 13, 19, 20. For further information: smalltowntheatre.com or info@smalltowntheatre.com

Barbara Simonetti has had a lifelong interest in theatre. Even in Tokyo, she was active in the Tokyo International Players and Tokyo Theatre for Children. So it was only natural that when she, Hal Simonetti, and Susan Geffen were sitting around a kitchen table discussing the new Whippoorwill Hall Theatre at the North Castle Public Library, they got the idea to put on a show.

In Susan’s words: “We started with a reading of Love Letters in 1996… and the idea for a theatre group took seed.  In 1997, we put on 84 Charring Cross Road and The Armonk Players was up and running.” This community theatre is supported by The Friends of the North Castle Library. Talent comes from Rockland County and New York, as well as Westchester.

Hal adds, “When we started the Armonk Players, there was one big risk–we had no idea how much interest we would find; theatrical talent/interest and behind-the-scene workers willing to come in. But, from the start, they came from all directions–people pursuing unrelated careers by day, but loving theatre, and wanting to actually do it as well as see it. They found a ready outlet for their creative energies through the Players. Not to be too dramatic about it, (and no one could see it when this thing began), but a door was opened to enriching the lives of many people with friendship and creative work–quite a few of them in from the start, years ago, still going.”

Barbara recalls, “As our reputation for ‘really good’ community theatre grew, we began to find eager talent from all over Westchester, and soon we had a board. At first, we did comedies and dramas; later, we added musicals to our season. Readings, labelled ‘Simply Theatre,’ were also a great way to feature newer talent and plays. The audience grew from locals to larger as word of mouth and reputation spread.” The Board decides on the presentations; upcoming programs include a Reading in April, and a show, June 4-7.

One of the most exciting aspects of live theatre is that anything can happen–and does. The story that Susan tells provides insight as to how resourceful those brave enough to put on a show must be. “Given that the show must go on…in 2000, we were about to raise the curtain on Octette Bridge Club when the electricity went out in town. We asked the audience to go to their cars and get flashlights. We put on the show by the lights the audience provided. It was a big success and fun for all involved after we got over the shock of the dark theatre.”

Hal is justly proud of what’s been accomplished. “What distinguishes the Armonk Players from other similar groups is that, in addition to bringing outstanding theatre into the community–quality plays, musicals and readings–we offer our members the full theatre experience as well. Anyone from Armonk or the surrounding communities wishing to act, sing, direct, design sets, build and paint them, find props, do lighting and sound, sell tickets or count cash–can come on board, exercise their interests, and have fun and friendship at the same time.”

All this from three crazy kids who simply got together and said, ‘Let’s 
put on a show!’ For further information: armonkplayers.org or inquiries@armonkplayers.org

Michall Jeffers and her husband, photographer John Warner, are long-time residents of Northern Westchester. As a voting member of Drama Desk and Outer Critics Circle, Michall is a card-carrying professional theatre critic.