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Empathy

Where Beauty Abounds: Inside the Boys & Girls Club of Northern Westchester

November 12, 2021 by Alyzza Ozer

Photo by Carolyn Simpson

To dream is a birthright.

In June, at his high school graduation, with a face beaming of pride and gratitude, my youngest child hugged me with so much love and said, “Mom thank you for letting me dream.”

To dream, one must recognize and understand the unadulterated need, joy and benefits of purpose and intention. Dreaming requires first the ability to envision, imagine and see something of beauty that exalts the mind spirit and heart. Second, design planning and implementation supports must be accessible.

Alyzza Ozer, Esq. CEO

Beautiful, smart, generous, creative people are developing at your BGCNW, and they are giving back to our community.

The mission of your BGCNW is to inspire and enable all young people–especially those who need us most–to realize their full potential as productive responsible caring citizens.

Having served the community for 82 years, our key differentiator as a youth-based organization is civic advocacy and leadership. The lessons of recognizing  community, and the multitude of opportunities to provide support to these communities, are woven into all our programming.

All children are worthy of experiencing the unique feelings of purpose and generosity when helping others. Consistently supporting community members is a privilege and responsibility whereby one hones skills of leadership collaboration and friend-making.

Examples of how our curriculum provides lessons in leadership, empathy and collaboration include: our pre-school children making capes for children in the hospital; the Middle School Torch Club creating book drops so all kids have access to creating their own home libraries; Liberty Keystone High School teens working in conjunction with Boys & Girls Club of America regarding environmental sustainability awareness and stewardship; all club kids supporting Youth for Unity and Youth of the Year promoting leadership and vision for improving lives in the future.

Nationally 87% of kids who regularly attend BGC programming, as adults, will consistently give back to their communities. Giving back to community is simply part of BGCNW DNA.

Photo by Carolyn Simpson

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Club is “home,” a family dwelling place, a place where you belong.

95% of Club staff went to the Club as kids. When staff were asked why they remained or returned to the Club the unanimous answer was: “I get to do what I love, be where I belong and help make kids better people.”

Examples include our: Aquatics legend Dennis Munson who started the swim team 52 years ago; Director of Programming Athenia Lee; Fundraising Associate John Tunas; newly appointed Marlins Head Age Group Coach Connor White; and Director of Teen Programming Chris Beaudreault.

BGCNW programming along with the team provides kids with the chance to grow self-confidence, imagination, and faith–the tools to dream. Then we ensure our members have the supports to design and create a plan to make the dreams come true; we never give up.

Philanthropy is a business and there must be evidence-based impact:

• For the last 13 years,100% of our high school seniors, including those designated “at risk,” have graduated high school on time and went on to University, the military or technical school.

• Annually, we serve over 125,000 nutritious delicious meals and snacks.

• We have taught more than 65,000 children to be water safe.

• BGCNW Marlins Swim Team can also claim 275 athletes, and in the past 30 years, over 500 Hall of FAME NESCAC college graduates from the world’s most prestigious institutions including Ivy League.

• BGCNW Marlins is the Top 100 ranked club out of 3000+ in USA Swimming for the 2020-2021 swim year.

• It is an ethnically diverse program–over 50% of athletes identify as non-white.

• For 21 consecutive years BGCNW Marlins have held the Boys & Girls Club of America National Championship title.

 

Giving back to the Community is beautiful.

Meet some of our amazing alumni…

 

Liz Brennan

“We came from diverse backgrounds but, we were all able to connect. My goal is to teach kids how to read, giving what I learned at the Club to my students.“

At the Club Liz Brennan developed the self confidence to dream of being a teacher. At age 8, as a first generation American, she began her BGCNW experience as a Club kid attending after school programming. In the 9th grade she enrolled in the Counselor Mentoring Program. As a high school junior she helped start a camp leadership program. The Club helped prepare Liz for college and gave her a place to work while she was at college and completing her Masters’ and internships. 

As the CEO of BGCNW, I proudly spoke directly to the Principal of Crompound Elementary in Yorktown, NY, where Liz is now working as a 5th grade teacher giving back to our community. 

I shared Liz was innately intelligent with an unwavering work ethic and excellent childcare and teaching experience. Most importantly, she has a gorgeous heart, and the kids and community are her priority and joy.

John Tunas

“I love watching kids learn and the different transitions they go through at the Club, by securing funding for programming, I know more kids in our community will have great futures.”

At age 11, John Tunas came to camp where he built lasting friendships. He worked at the Club through high school and college. For over 25 years, his father Juan Tunas worked on the Horace Greeley High School Janitorial Team often requiring very long days at work. John’s Mom worked as well.  

John looked to the Club for life mentors who helped him become the first in his family to graduate from University. At the Club, John has held positions as Pre-School Teacher, Athletic Director and now, Fundraising Associate. John has been offered sales, marketing and entrepreneurial opportunities but is dedicated to Club fundraising. All three of John’s children attended pre-school, after school programming and Learn to Swim.

Connor White

“The community that makes up the club is one I grew up in and I wanted to share that same connection with a new generation of Marlin swimmers.” 

Recently promoted to Marlins Head Age Group Coach, Connor White first came to the Club as a young kid and dreamed of being a BGCNW Marlin. For 52 years, Coach Dennis has had a loving tradition of giving team members nicknames. “I dub thee Mini Me,” Dennis declared to Connor 22 years ago. 

Connor learned discipline, respect, and being part of a team while swimming. Afternoons before practice were spent at the club playing four square or billiards in the games room, meeting new club kids in the computer lab, or playing basketball in the gym. He associated the club as a safe place with a close-knit community that allowed him to make new connections, be a kid, and play. Wonderful relationships were built facilitating a positive environment. Connor studied Exercise Science at Ithaca College, and was a nationally ranked collegiate swimmer. He holds three school records. Six years ago, after college, he came back to work at the club because he has roots here.

Torell Nugent

“As I look back and reflect, I am extremely appreciative of my time spent at the club. I discovered the importance of diversity, community, and what it means to lead by example.“

Today, Torell Nugent is a Multimedia Associate Account Executive at Disney Ad Sales. He started at BGCNW at age three and attended after school programming through high school. After school began with a snack followed by school-work in a small classroom. States Torell: “Once I completed my homework, my attention would quickly shift directly towards a number of Club recreational activities. Being  on the field, gym, game room, or playground, I felt as though everything I could have ever wanted was at my fingertips. I quickly began to learn new skills and explore many of my passions. I fell in love with all things.”

“This was all made possible because of the outstanding staff at the BGC family. Day in and day out I received unconditional love and encouragement from everyone. My counselors became my mentors, friends, and teachers all in one. I have always revered them as the ultimate role models.”

“When it was finally my time to become a counselor, it was a dream come true. After nearly ten years of being a club member, it was my time to make sure my kids would have a similar, if not better experience than mine. I started as 2nd grade basketball coach and ended as a head counselor. I was getting paid to do something I loved, quickly realizing I was working my dream job.”

“Now as a member of the board I am able to incorporate my experiences in our community to continue to create life changing opportunities for the future generations.”

Filed Under: Cover Stories Tagged With: Alyzza Ozer, BGCNW, Boys & Girls Club of Northern Westchester, collaboration, Dream, Empathy, giving back, leadership, Marlins Swim Team, Milestones

Empathy and a Moral Compass during Chappaqua’s Lights for Liberty Event

July 14, 2019 by Inside Press

If the speeches at a Lights for Liberty vigil on July 12 in New Castle–one of some 750 such vigils nationwide–shared any one theme, it would be encouraging empathy; and moreover, it would be the “radical empathy” that Secretary Hillary Clinton described as necessary to continue to fight. 

By Grace Bennett

 “The fact that you feel trauma means you’re still feeling, you’re still showing compassion and boy do we need that right now,” Hillary Clinton said during her surprise visit together with Bill Clinton at the Town gazebo where she joined other speakers invited by the event’s local sponsor, Left of Main Street, a Chappaqua-based, national organization which supports progressive issues, legislation and candidates. 

 “We need radical empathy right now,” said Clinton. “We need to put ourselves into other’s shoes and try to relate to that mother who encountered violence…” 

First to speak, New Castle Councilwoman Ivy Pool extolled the Chappaqua community as a tolerant and welcoming community to all. She also pointed out “the tremendous gap between the good fortune, beauty, and comfort of our lives here in Chappaqua and the inhumane and unjust conditions that children of migrant populations face. 

“Moral Compass” 

“My kids are and continue to be in all decisions that I make–my moral compass… But for an accident of birth that children here were born in Northern Westchester Hospital and not in Central America… I’d like to believe that I would do anything to protect the safety and health of my child, and have the courage to leave behind my family and friends to endure dangerous travel conditions and seek asylum for my family if we were faced with the life-threatening violence and persecution.  

“Most of us have never been so threatened,” said Pool. “We are challenged to respond with empathy, love and generosity.” 

Professor Vanessa Merton, director of the Immigration Justice Center at the Pace University School of Law, said that she “won’t dwell on the lice, the feces, the cruelty and sexual assaults and deprivation of food or decent medical care.” She did drive home the anxiety any parent feels being separated even for the shortest period.  

Professor Vanessa Merton also took questions from those gathered after speaking about immigration justice.

“Do you remember being at the shopping mall or beach, and if you became separated for even five minutes… the abject fear you felt?  These parents or guardians are experiencing that all day, every day, and with constant knowledge that their children are in fact in danger. She described the experience the children are having as ‘stunting’ and ‘soul crippling.’

She also described working with families who risked their lives, “who have given up everything they have because they are fleeing a state sponsored terror in the Honduras and in Guatemala.

 “These are not just war lords. These are transnational criminal syndicates that rule every aspect of people’s lives. Small business owners who tried to pay the taxes imposed wake up to find the body parts of their children scattered around.” 

“Vicarious Trauma” 

Dr. Jeanne Devine, a licensed clinical psychologist with a specialty in neuropsychology, said that stress hormones released during trauma results in lifelong impairment. “There’s a new generation of people that we have harmed.  This isn’t just for today. This is about people we are going to have to help find a way to take care of later on.” She also expressed concern for the mental health among those who resist. We are all experiencing “vicarious trauma,” she posited—”every time you get teary, every time your heart crunches, every time you scroll past something because can’t read one more thing.”  

A Policy “Infused with Cruelty” 

Hillary Clinton said that Lights for Liberty represented a way to come together to address what’s happening at the border, “to do whatever we can to stand up for those who are voiceless. 

Left of Main Street founders Ann Styles Brochstein (right) and Cynthia Gray-Ware Metcalf with Secretary Hillary Clinton

“This is not about open borders; it’s not about saying that anyone who can come to America at any time.  Those who are trying to make it that are deliberately trying to confuse the issue. We can have secure borders and be a humane nation that treats people with dignity and compassion. That should be our goal.”

She further noted that if the administration had a “serious interest in dealing with the challenges of the border, that is what we would be doing.” 

The border situation calls out for more properly trained immigration judges “enforcing the law and not shortcutting it,” said Clinton, who also suggested that we could have a functional data system. “There are literally thousands of children who have been separated and no one in this government knows where they are… I fear greatly they will never be reunited with their families... 

“Think about never seeing your parents and family again because you were deliberately snatched away with no effort to try to track you in this system that has been set up… This is a policy that is infused with cruelty. It is a cruel, unfeeling, unfair, meanspirited policy that is not solving the problem because the problem is deeply imbedded in poorly governed, violent countries on average the most violent in the world, with the highest homicide rate–higher than in some conflict zones.” 

The response of the Trump administration, she said, has been to cut off all aid to those countries.  A better approach, Clinton suggested, would be for the U.S. to help these countries with rule of law, “and frankly to help them with their economic problems too (”a failed coffee crop, a failed banana crop”) so people wouldn’t feel compelled to leave. We do have the capacity to respond to the most complicated problems–if we choose to do so.” 

She recalled that during her time as Secretary of State, there were efforts to establish facilities and hire personnel within the capitals of those countries to try to process asylum “so people wouldn’t have to take the dangerous route north and bring their children with them. She said during one trip to Central America “there were discussions over the kind of assistance we could provide that would try to end the corruption and malfeasance of the existing governments and put into place some programs that would begin to diminish the violence.”  

“We have helped to do that in other places over the last 30 years; we could be doing that right here.” Particularly disturbing targets for deportation have been people serving in the U.S. military, Clinton noted.  “They signed up under a program that they would serve in the military and then be put on a fast track to citizenship. “They have already been deported after combat tours in Iraq and Afghanistan. Now their spouses and children being targeted. There’s no justification for this policy.” 

Clinton encouraged those gathered to keep fighting and “reclaiming the values of our country that are under so much stress and attack right now.” Striking a lighter note, she mentioned the stress causing construction on Route 120, the redevelopment project known here as Streetscapes. She joked that she chose Chappaqua’s vigil over others because it was the closest.  She advised that residents take their resilience to that into the political environment.

(L-R): Secretary Hillary Clinton, New Castle Councilwoman Ivy Pool and President Bill Clinton: Greeting Congresswoman Nita Lowey upon arrival.

Helen Harrison, a Chappaqua ESL Teacher, described how some of her students at Greeley have expressed their fears to her. Since 2016, she said she “has spent many days helping different students cope–helping them understand the rules of what their rights are should ICE come knocking…. There are many kinds of people living here (in New Castle), and they are all part of the community; together we will overcome.”  Harrison also led everyone gathered holding candles in singing We Shall Overcome.

Secretary Hillary Clinton & President Bill Clinton with Congresswoman Nita Lowey

Congresswoman Nita Lowey arrived as a final speaker: “You don’t take babies and little ones through such hardship unless you are desperate,” said Lowey who noted that she was planning a trip to the Homestead Immigration Detention Center in Miami where she aimed to be given a full tour “and not just one room.”  “Have you heard of Homestead?” she asked. “That’s where John Kelly runs quite an operation.”  Lowey lamented the situations of the men and women “undergoing so much stress to find a better life for their families and children.” She then ‘spoke’ to Trump: “I do remember, Mr. President, when we had all kinds of glorious plans to help those countries in the northern triangle because there is corruption, there is crime and there are people who can’t take care of their families.  

“When you think of what they go through to come to America and just be part of the American dream… for me as member of Congress, it’s not only painful, but an embarrassment, because we worked so hard to fund a whole range of assistance programs.”

Grace Bennett is founder, publisher and editor of the Inside Press, Inc., since 2003.

 

Filed Under: New Castle News Tagged With: Chappaqua, Detention Camps, Empathy, Hillary Clinton, Left of Main Street, Lights for Liberty, Migrant Families, Moral Compass, Nita Lowey, Vigil

Building Connections with the New ‘Chappaqua Reads-Chappaqua Includes’

November 29, 2018 by Inside Press

Photo by Regina Walsh McKie

In the 1970s a little girl contracted meningitis.  After a long recovery she began to feel better, but something was clearly wrong. While much of her health returned, she was profoundly deaf.  Advances in science brought this girl a hearing device called the Phonic Ear which helped her hear!  But the Phonic Ear was far from the small, discreet cochlear implant many people today are familiar with.  It was a heavy, bulky box strapped to her body, with wires that ended in earpieces inserted into the ear.  And it was far from seamless in its operation.  Consistency, volume and the ability to separate out background noise were still being refined.  Thus armed, this little girl was sent into the wilds of public education.

Photo by Lori Morton

This is El Deafo, a graphic memoir written by Cece Bell and it’s the springboard from which Chappaqua Reads -Chappaqua Includes was launched.

Chappaqua Reads – Chappaqua Includes is a joint partnership between the Chappaqua PTA and the Chappaqua Children’s Book Festival.  Its goal is a year-long conversation about empathy and inclusion which celebrates a love of reading and a desire to build connections through a community read.  To date, Chappaqua Reads – Chappaqua Includes has given 2,000 copies of El Deafo to teachers, administrators, community members and families within the Chappaqua Central School District.

While it’s fun and exciting to get a free book, the question remains — what’s the point?

It is hard to read the news today and not feel sad.  Division is everywhere.  Community values feel like something out of Our Town, quaint and distant, like hand-churned butter.  Solipsism and selfishness are on the rise.  In the face of all this, the creators of Chappaqua Reads – Chappaqua Includes asked, what if you could turn the conversation.  Use the platform of the Chappaqua PTA (with well over 80 percent of Chappaqua Central School District families in membership) and the Chappaqua Children’s Book Festival  (in its seventh year welcoming over 7,000 visitors and growing), to talk about community, empathy, inclusion and to foster a love reading at every age.

Empathy.  Inclusion.  Community.

Three simple words.  Easy to look up in the dictionary.  Easy to believe that they are part of a shared and agreed upon lexicon.  Chappaqua Reads – Chappaqua Includes seeks to challenge that easy assumption.  Like most things worthwhile, putting the concepts of empathy and  inclusion in action and building community around them is hard work, full of second guesses and disagreements.  It is only together, talking about these values, how they work in our home, our schools and in our community and, yes,about how they sometimes fail, that we can find a way forward to a greater community, that values empathy and is always expanding inclusion.

Photo of Maggie Mae by Ronni Diamondstein

Stepping beyond the pages of El Deafo, Chappaqua Reads-Chappaqua Includes has teamed up with the Chappaqua Library, the Chappaqua Central School District, Scattered Books Bookstore and the Town of New Castle Recreation Department to create programming throughout the community to enhance and deepen that conversation.  After a kick-off at the Chappaqua Rotary Club’s Community Day, programs have included: the Chappaqua Library and Town Rec Department’s StoryWalk® in Gedney Park; the Chappaqua PTA’s guest lecturer Michele Borba author of UnSelfie,  who discussed the importance of raising empathetic children in a self-obsessed world, the PTA’s follow-up book discussion group, and a community- wide “Find Cece” scavenger hunt for middle and elementary school students hosted by Scattered Books Bookstore.

In December, the Chappaqua PTA will welcome Addy and Uno, a family musical about disability, The TSA Youth Ambassador program, where kids talk to kids about tics and tourette’s syndrome, a screening of Intelligent Lives hosted by Horace Greeley High School’s Ambassador’s Club, and classes to introduce kids to American Sign Language.   The Chappaqua Children’s Book Festival will host a skype conversation with author Cece Bell.  Across classrooms throughout the Chappaqua School District teachers at every level will discuss themes in El Deafo and highlight values of inclusion and empathy.  In late winter or early spring the Chappaqua Children’s Book Festival will host a create your own graphic novel program.   The Chappaqua Library will lead third and fourth grade students in book club discussion featuring El Deafo and lead younger kids in a “What’s your Superpower” arts and crafts activity where kids are asked to dig deep and find the superhero within themselves. Finally, in the spring, any books families would like to donate back to Chappaqua Reads – Chappaqua Includes will be shared with neighboring schools to inspire their own reading programs.

In the end, after all the celebrating, reading and fun, we hope that everyone comes away knowing that empathy is a superpower that can combat loneliness.  It’s the strength to see beyond the surface and make a connection.   While it is so easy to ruin someone’s day with a snide remark or a mean word, with empathy and sincerity, we each have the power to truly see other people, recognize their humanity and extend empathy, kindness and inclusion.

The StoryWalk® Project was created by Anne Ferguson of Montpelier, VT and developed in collaboration with the Kellogg-Hubbard Library. Storywalk® is a registered service mark owned by Ms. Ferguson.

Cece figures are hidden throughout town as part of a scavenger hunt. Photo courtesy of Whispering Pines.

 

News about Chappaqua Reads-Chappaqua Includes was provided as a courtesy to The Inside Press by the program’s founders and collaborators: The Chappaqua PTA and The Chappaqua Children’s Book Festival.

Filed Under: New Castle News Tagged With: Chappaqua Children’s Book Festival, Chappaqua Includes, Chappaqua PTA, Chappaqua Reads, Chappaqua Reads-Chappaqua Includes, connections, Empathy, Love of Reading

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