The Inside Press

Magazines serving the communities of Northern Westchester

Counseling

Debut of two Groundbreaking MHA of Westchester Services

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Suicide bereavement services offered by a specialist who has experienced her own personal loss to suicide

Each person experiences the loss of a loved one to suicide in their own way and in their own time. Through our new Suicide Loss: Outreach, Support and Healing service, we are able to offer compassion, understanding and support from a trained specialist who has also experienced personal loss to suicide.

Support is provided in a variety of ways and may include: connections to support groups in the community, sharing resources such as books, managing tasks at hand, discussing expectable reactions to a loss to suicide, how and what to share, and supporting family members – especially children. Suicide Loss: Outreach, Support and Healing services are provided at no cost.

Continue reading about Suicide Loss services>>>

Groundbreaking Telehealth service now at MHA

This summer, MHA debuted a groundbreaking behavioral health service that enables clients to meet with our psychiatrists via two-way, real-time interactive audio and video equipment.

Featuring HIPAA-compliant computer and web cam configurations, Telehealth stations are located in MHA’s White Plains, Yonkers and Mount Kisco clinics and offer improved access to care for clients who are in crisis situations and those who engage in clinical walk-in services.

Continue reading about Telehealth>>>

 

This news was provided as a courtesy to MHA of Westchester.

From: “Peace in Relationships: Attachment-Detachment”

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Suna Senman
Suna Senman

By Suna Senman

“In order to explain the balance of “you-me-us” concepts, we need to be mindful of schemas. Schemas are the emotional and experiential attachments we have to words or objects. For example, “attachment” may stimulate feeling of sticky confinement or it may generate an image of an adoring, cherishing mother-infant bond. Those two schemas are very different. So when a person with one schema talks about attachment with a person with the other schema, misunderstanding and conflict occurs. Therefore, it is important to listen beyond words-to listen to the heart. Both schemas exist and are acceptable, but hearing the intention of the conveyor of a message- listening to the heart-is where understanding is created. Hearing the heart of a person provides a mindfulness of reality.  A good therapist listens to the heart beneath the words.

People often say one thing but mean another, as if they are leaving clues or simultaneously want to be heard and not heard. What do people really want? We all want to express truth, love, and beauty so that it is received and reflected back to us. Sometimes people want to express lies, hurt, and ugliness, because that’s what they have seen. They both want and don’t want to see that reflected back. The experience of lies, hurt, and ugliness is unpleasant. And yet, a person wants to be seen. If a person has allowed lies, hurt, and ugliness to penetrate their being, these factors becomes part of their being that they need to express. He or she will continue to express everything that is in them-a mix of lies, hurt, and ugliness along with the truth, love, and beauty of his or her original, natural state.

These contradictory qualities coexist until the person cleans house and lets go of the garbage. Because we always express what is inside of us, it is also the mix that will be reflected back. We see what is inside. Therefore, when a person sees jealousy, greed, gluttony, or any of the “sins” in others, the wise person will recognize that there are at least crumbs of those things inside him–or herself.

Attachment and detachment are key concepts to understand in order to navigate the complicated “mix.” If you can clean house often (even several times a day), you practice healthy attachment and detachment. If you are mindful of the things that approach you through the day and are discerning of their core (love or ugliness), then you can let go of the unwanted ugliness quickly so that you can practice filling yourself with truth, love and beauty.

Some people love playing in ugly messes. When I have tried to engage people in expressions of truth, love, and beauty, they are often eager to engage, yet, unwilling to let go of ugliness. Some people get attached to the concept of “ownership.” At one time, a friend felt that she owned me and tried to prevent me from expressing a part of myself that evoked a feeling of dishonesty in her. She had talked herself into believing that her lifestyle was beautiful, but my expression of truth triggered a realization that she contained ugliness. Her reaction was to discredit me and push me away instead of doing some “housecleaning” or making her own necessary changes. She was afraid of change.

In her ownership attitude toward me as her friend, she insisted that I don’t speak about some of my ideas. What she tried to own slipped away. I detached from her instead of detaching from a part of a truth of my being.”

Suna Senman LMSW, CSW, CTIM, CED is a life transformation facilitator who specializes in wellness counseling, childhood development, peace education, and diversity training. She blogs on topic for The Huffington Post; she has published articles on topic in periodicals such as Metro; and she is the author of Being: A Process. Through her work, Suna helps people expand their sense of self, release their illusion of separation, develop nurturing partnerships, and consciously design a harmonious life path. Her writing has included interviews with  supermodel Tyra Banks, celebrity violinist Miri Ben Ari, and relationship expert Paul Brunson.