The Inside Press

Magazines serving the communities of Northern Westchester

The Inside Press

Serving Sandy Hook Families

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Abresha Sinanaj
Abresha Sinanaj

“I would do it again in a heartbeat if it would help these families heal.”  Those words come from Abresha Sinanaj, an Ardsley-based mother of three kids (ages 16, 14 and 9) and a busy manager/host and spouse of one owner at Benjamin Steakhouse in White Plains.

Abresha and the partners of this relative newcomer to Westchester had generously arranged for 26 gift certificates to be donated to the family members of the victims lost.  It was part of a love filled winter evening in which many Westchester moms gathered at Benjamin’s to raise an additional $1,828 in donations for The Sandy Hook School Support Fund. The donations were presented to honorary guest Robert Merola, Legislative Council Member of Newtown, CT.

Since that evening, one of the families from Sandy Hook has come to dine at Benjamin’s.  “The one family who did come wrote to us telling us they felt like they were treated like royalty,” she said. She recalled one of the parents telling her that their young daughter’s favorite food was steak. “That was heartbreaking for me to hear but we were also so glad we could provide a pleasant evening out.”

Abresha said that providing the gift cards was a small gesture in her view, and she is hopeful more of the families will come to dine at Benjamin’s when they feel ready.  “I live in a small community too and simply can not imagine these terrible losses. Sandy Hook has become my community too.  As a mother, I feel a connection to all the parents there and it was extremely painful to hear about precious young lives lost. I wish the families their continued healing and we are here to still offer a fine, complimentary meal.” For Mother’s Day, especially, Abresha stated that she hopes Benjamin Steakhouse will  have the honor of serving another family from Sandy Hook.

“We are here.”  –Grace Bennett 


What Have You Done For You, Lately?

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“Friends keep me sane and grounded,” says Miriam. To the left of Miriam (l-r): Buddies Amy Mittelstadt, Jennifer Cahill and Genine Coccoli DiFalco.
“Friends keep me sane and grounded,” says Miriam. To the left of Miriam (l-r): Buddies Amy Mittelstadt, Jennifer Cahill and Genine Coccoli DiFalco.

Are you in a holding pattern caused by loneliness? Anyone can experience the painful awareness of not connecting with others–married or single.  Strong, competent women rationalize being treated poorly by awful men to avoid loneliness. Others in healthy relationships feel isolated by the lack of true friendships outside that relationship. Loneliness is a state of mind that can be changed by connecting with yourself first.

My most profound loneliness was being in a marriage I had outgrown.  After being married several years with two young children, I had drifted away from many of the friends I had growing up and in my early 20s. My emotions were in turmoil and I had nobody in whom to confide. Despite our sporadic socializing we reconnected immediately and I began rebuilding other friendships I had neglected over the years. My friends gave me strength to pursue my divorce and that step empowered me to start questioning what I want to do with the rest of my life.

If you are not doing things to fulfill all parts of your self–intellectually, physically, and spiritually–you are not truly living. For years, I coasted on auto pilot. I worked, took care of my kids and collapsed exhausted each night. I realized I wanted more and started setting goals. I have the same 24 hours in my day as anyone and I work full time,  juggle the busy lives of two teenage girls and my own social life, yet I don’t just come to life on weekends. I ensure there are things I do for my mind, body and soul each day. What have you done for you lately?

Dinners and nights out with my friends are a given, but I belong to the Jacob Burns Film Center and enjoy seeing films alone.  Running makes me feel good and that led to running marathons. Travelling the world alone connects me deeply to the moment and myself–quite the opposite of lonely.  Between family, work, travelling and socializing, I met a guy.  We clicked instantly and became involved. While happily enjoying my life I met someone, exactly how all the magazines said it would happen.  My happiness was short-lived, however, when things ended abruptly six months later. Yes, I was sad, but I rechannelled that sadness into a freelance writing career which fulfils me creatively.  Changing grade levels after 18 years challenged me professionally.

Can I pursue all things, all the time? No. Life is a balancing act. Deciding to learn a new curriculum meant publishing fewer articles, but planning new, creative lessons and teaching older students fulfills me in new ways.  Some weeks I’m too busy to run as much as I ‘d like so I read or watch a movie.  Actively pursuing things I enjoy gives me more energy than I had as a young mother, and strong friendships transcend any romantic relationship.  So how can you reconnect with yourself and your old friends?

  • Take that first step. Send that message to someone you have been meaning to contact.  Suggest after work drinks with colleagues and widen your social network.
  • Join a social website. Meetup.com has groups for any interest. Some are geared toward singles but I suggest finding groups geared to your own interests or create your own group!
  •  Select an interest or two and devise a plan. If it’s travel, calculate costs and plan your trip. Thinking about learning a language, or taking a cooking or photography class? Check out Chappaqua Continuing Education or other community or city options.
  • Exercise regularly. Vary your exercise routine to avoid a plateau and remain physically challenged.  Don’t belong to a gym? Put on headphones and go for a walk.  Endorphins, those “feel-good” hormones released during exercise, are real!

Sometimes friends and pursuing goals are not enough and what began as loneliness veers into depression.  If you feel overwhelmed, seek help. A professional, outside perspective can help you view life differently.

Loneliness is not a permanent state but only you initiate change. Make the time for things that bring you joy and the richness of your life will overflow.  Happiness is magnetic, and while you’re busy living your fabulous life you might find that special person, just like all the magazines say it happens.

Miriam Longobardi is a freelance writer, fourth grade teacher and single mother of two daughters living in Westchester.  wA breast cancer survivor, she also volunteers for the American Cancer Society and has completed four marathons.  Also, check out her weekly New York Modern Love column  at Examiner.com.

Outrage Expressed in Town Hall by those Opposed to Plan for Chappaqua Crossing

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chapp-crossing-hearingBy Steven Bernstein

Over 100 people packed Town Hall Tuesday, April 23, for the first public hearing on the plan for Chappaqua Crossing.  The New Castle Town Board heard only negative feedback from those who arrived regarding its consideration of the Summit-Greenfield plan to use 120,000 square feet of space at the old Reader’s Digest campus, for a supermarket and for other retail use. Meanwhile, at least one town board member made it clear that no decision has yet been reached.

“I have not made up my mind,” said Town Board member John Buckley.  “We’re going to do this fairly, reasonably, and we’re going to see what’s in the best interest of our community as a whole.”

The general sentiment of those who spoke was that the board was not doing what was best for the community.  Dozens of citizens stood up and voiced their opinions about how such a project could negatively affect the town.

There were several concerns on how the proposed project would influence traffic, public safety, and how the town does not need a grocery store.  “We have no problem getting groceries now.  I don’t know of anyone in town who has that problem.  It’s not a burning issue.  It’s a very poor idea,” said David Aplin, whose family has lived in Chappaqua for the past 23 years.

No one who attended the meeting expressed any favorable thoughts about the plan.

“The traffic’s going to be horrendous. The access to this development is almost impossible, coming off the Saw Mill, it’s ridiculous.  We don’t need another grocery store, we can drive to Pleasantville or Mount Kisco,” said Robert Lieblich, another longtime citizen of Chappaqua.

“It’s the small business owners who are helping our downtown come to life.  They’re helping to cultivate a sense of community.  The town board should be held to prove that the New Castle Town community believes this huge change to the character of our community will benefit the town, who ask that you put a referendum on the ballot this November, asking the community to decide whether they want a third business district,” said Rob Greenstein, head of the Chappaqua-Millwood Chamber of Commerce.

“If we’re focused on preserving our high school as the center point of the town, and we’re moving traffic in that direction, I think that’s a big mistake.  You can’t move on that road for 45 minutes in the morning, and 45 minutes in the afternoon.  I think the school board should really be front and center and what they think about the ramifications of this project across from the school,” said Robert Bowen, a resident of the town for thirty-five years.

“I live right off of 117; it’s absolutely dangerous when trucks are on 117.  I can’t imagine what would happen if there were trucks going both ways on 117,” said Hillary Grasso, who moved with her family to Chappaqua two years ago.  She also noted dangers in crossing for Greeley students who would be drawn to the development right across the street.

The second public hearing will be held on Monday, April 29th.  Any citizen who wishes to share their concerns over the proposed plan for Chappaqua crossing should go so their voice can also be heard.

The StoryWalk Project at Gedney Park

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Brought to you by the New Castle Recreation & Parks Department and The Chappaqua Library.

Monday, April 22nd thru Friday, May 31st

This time, the StoryWalk will begin directly behind the playground located in the front of Gedney Park.  Look for the “StoryWalk” sign. All are welcome to visit this free StoryWalk beginning on Monday, April 22nd through Friday, May 31st.

The featured book selection is “and then it’s spring” by Julie Fogliano, illustrated by Erin E. Stead.  The story perfectly captures those early days of winter-sneaking-into-spring, when we’re eagerly searching for any signs of fresh color and new life. And then suddenly, spring is sprung!

StoryWalk™ helps build children’s interest in reading while encouraging healthy outdoor activity for both adults and children.  The StoryWalk™ Project was created by Anne Ferguson of Montpelier, VT and developed in collaboration with the Vermont Bicycle & Pedestrian Coalition and the Kellogg Hubbard Library.

Chappaqua Library
195 S. Greeley Ave.
Chappaqua, NY 10514
914-238-4779
www.chappaqualibrary.org

36th Annual Guiding Eyes Golf Classic with NY Giants Quarterback Eli Manning Tees Off June 10th

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Guiding Eyes Golf Classic - PepsiCoNY Giants quarterback Eli Manning returns on Monday, June 10 to host Guiding Eyes for the Blind’s 36th Annual Golf Classic alongside the country’s best blind golfers and magnificent Guiding Eyes dogs. The two-day outing, anticipated to raise more than $500,000, will be held at two of the region’s most esteemed courses – Mount Kisco Country Club in Mount Kisco, NY and Fairview Country Club in Greenwich, CT.

Founded by PGA legend Ken Venturi in 1977, the Guiding Eyes Golf Classic has raised over $8 million since its inception. As part of the Classic, Guiding Eyes will also present the Corcoran Cup, the “Masters” of blind golf, on Sunday, June 9. Fourteen of the country’s top blind golfers will vie for the coveted trophy, each with the help of a coach who aids in club selection, alignment, setup and distances.

On Monday, blind golfers will challenge their sighted counterparts to experience golf as a visually impaired person by inviting them to take a shot at hitting the ball blindfolded. At last year’s event, Eli Manning took the challenge and sank the putt from 10 feet out.

Manning was first introduced to Golf Classic through family friend and 24-time Corcoran Cup champion Patrick W. Browne, Jr. “This is my seventh year hosting Guiding Eyes for the Blind’s Golf Classic and it’s very special to me,” says Manning. “For people without sight, teaming up with a Guiding Eyes dog can change their lives – keep them safe, give them independence and a trusted friend.”

Guiding Eyes for the Blind is located at 611 Granite Springs Road in Yorktown Heights, N.Y. They can be reached at 914 245-4024 or by visiting www.guidingeyes.org. For the latest news, please visit Guiding Eyes on Facebook www.facebook.com/guidingeyes and on Twitter www.twitter.com/guidingeyes.

GE - Rod Smith Omar Rivera Eli ManningAbout Guiding Eyes for the Blind
Guiding Eyes for the Blind is an internationally accredited 501(c)(3) nonprofit guide dog school founded in 1954. Since its inception, Guiding Eyes has grown to be one of the foremost guide dog schools in the world, known for its cutting-edge training programs, commitment to excellence, and dedication to its elite and superbly trained guide dogs. In 2008, the school launched Heeling Autism, a service dog program designed to provide safety and companionship for children on the autism spectrum. Guiding Eyes provides all of its services at no cost, and is dependent upon contributions to fulfill its mission. The organization’s Headquarters and Training Center is located in Yorktown Heights, N.Y. and its Canine Development Center is in Patterson, N.Y. For more info, visit www.guidingeyes.org, like Guiding Eyes on Facebook (www.facebook.com/guidingeyes) or follow @guidingeyes on Twitter.