The Inside Press

Magazines serving the communities of Northern Westchester

Inside Press

Tour Beautiful “Castles!”

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The New Castle Historical Society will host its 9th annual “Castles of New Castle” house tour on Thursday, May 19th. Click here to download the PDF with full details. Tours showcasing a variety of beautiful area homes will be held from 10 a.m.- 2 p.m. Tickets are $50 for historical society members and $75 for non-members.

Crabtree’s Kittle House is offering a special luncheon for an additional $25, to truly top off a great day. All proceeds from the tour will benefit the New Castle Historical Society. Tickets are available by calling 914.238.4666 or visiting their website at www.newcastlehs.org.

Come Enjoy the JCC Carnival!

There’s fun ahead for all ages on May 15, 11 a.m.-4 p.m. Rain Date is May 22. Activities include:Rock climbing, an obstacle course, an airplane ride, a junior toddler bounce ride, face painting, a photo booth, and carnival games (Break-a-Plate, Balloon Darts, Duck Pong and Frog Fling). All that and refreshments too at the Rosenthal JCC of Northern Westchester, 600 Bear Ridge Road in Pleasantville. For more info, call 741-0333 x24, or e-mail terry@rosenthaljcc.org.

Human Rights Institute For High School Leaders

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By Rich Monetti

When Rosa Parks refused to yield her seat on an Alabama Bus, “she didn’t know,” said Sleepy Hollow junior Sophie Parens. The short role Parks played, however, helped change the world. Such insights could sum up a large part of the discussion of the 10th annual Human Rights Institute for High School Student Leaders held at Manhattanville College on March 16th.

Under the umbrella of the Holocaust and Human Rights Education Center, the event grouped students into topical workshops during which the spark of change might emerge. “We’re trying to turn awareness into action,” said Croton-Harmon High School Social Studies teacher, Brett Bowden.

In Sophie Parens’ group, women’s rights in the Middle East were on the agenda. Facilitating the discussion with classmates Kyle McGovern and Alex Dopico, the trio was careful to keep the hope for change in a nonjudgmental tone. “We have flaws in our own society,” said McGovern. “Blasting the message from up on high is also counterproductive,” he asserted. “It has to be their fight so you can avoid looking like you’re riding in on a white horse to save them.”

Looking on and keeping her interaction limited as group advisor, Senior Historian, Mary Johnson, of Facing History and Ourselves, was impressed with the facilitation skills of the three lead students. “Their understanding of the differences between our cultures was crucial because sensitivity is the first tool we have to combat prejudice,” she says.

The question of how one individual can have an impact on human rights issues was not common to just this group. “This is a chance for kids all over the county to see what other human rights clubs are doing to inspire them to go back, brainstorm and start their own clubs,” says Donna Cohen, Executive Director of the HHREC.

These future leaders came away with a host of creative ideas about how best to consolidate their voices on Near Eastern women’s rights. They speculated on the possibility of creating a cultural exchange program with Middle Eastern countries and utilizing the power of social media. One realization was very important. “It starts at home,” Parens said.

The jumping off point to which Parens alluded was exemplified in the presentation of an Eastchester High School student. Jimyang Gyaltsen grew up in Tibet and escaped over the Himalayas with his family into India, later arriving in the United States in 2007. He took this opportunity to tell his story, which included the oppression his land faces at the hands of China. “I’m not sure exactly how telling my story will lead to change in Tibet but everything begins with raising awareness,” said the senior honor student.

Erica Getto, of Scarsdale High School, helped earn herself Manhattanville’s Richard Berman Award with a similar mind set. “I’m the Editor-in-Chief at the school newspaper and informing students on human rights issues across the globe and right at home is where action begins,” she says.

Otherwise, Getto’s involvement and inspiration hasn’t been limited to the confines of an editor’s inbox. After an 8th grade trip to Africa, she became involved in Water For People, which provides well-water to African communities through a merry-go-round system pumped by children. She is now president of the school’s human rights coalition. Money is being raised for education in India and relief efforts in Japan. In receiving the award, her acceptance speech was emblematic of the Center’s vision. “Get out there and be an up-stander,” she said.

Getting students to take a stand instead of standing by is the goal of Ms. Cohen. So whether it’s taking a seat with the classmate who usually eats lunch alone or signing onto the anti-human trafficking Polaris Project, the day is a success if even one more student chooses the “up” side of action.

Although this kind of commitment does not correspond to the instant gratification that teenagers are just starting to learn to leave behind, Parens concluded, “you have to be patient but eventually they have to hear you.”

A Walk on the Wild Side

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By Maggie Mae…with Ronni Diamondstein

When I visited animal expert and author Jean Craighead George last spring I met her pet African parrot Tocca. I see birds outside, but I had never encountered a bird in a cage in someone’s home. I wondered “are there other unusual pets and who would take care of them?” I asked around Chappaqua and discovered that a veterinarian, Laurie Hess who specializes in parrots and other cool pets lives in our town.

I checked out her practice online, Veterinary Center for Birds and Exotics www.avianexoticsvet.com and was intrigued by the tagline “Exceptional Care for Extraordinary Pets.” I knew I had to meet her so I got a ride over to her office in Bedford Hills.

The first thing I wanted to know was, “What is an exotic pet?” Dr. Hess said in her practice she sees birds(like parrots, macaws and canaries) and rabbits, chinchillas, guinea pigs, ferrets, small rodents (like mice, rats, gerbils and degus), reptiles, amphibians and less seen exotics like kinkajous, wallabies, fennec foxes, and opossums. I asked her how she decided to take care of birds and exotics. She said that in veterinary school there was not a lot of training for these animals but during her internship at the Animal Medical Center in New York City she had a chance to work with them and she knew these unique creatures were her calling.
Dr. Hess helps people before they even get their pet. She has a phone consultation service. “I welcome people calling. We talk about their lifestyle, their family and the financial piece of bringing an exotic pet into their home.” Exotics are low maintenance pets. Most are small and don’t need a lot space. They don’t need vaccines and they are easy to transport when they need to be boarded.

Dr. Hess recommends bringing a new bird or exotic pet in for a wellness visit. “We educate people as to how to care for all kinds of animals.” Offering advice on nutrition, environment and care, Dr. Hess says you don’t want to wait for a pet to get sick before you bring them in to be checked. She is very passionate about educating people about their pets and the importance of taking these little creatures seriously. “You can’t judge the value of a pet by its cost,” she says. Many of these animals live for decades. “I’ve had grown up grandchildren bring in a turtle that belonged to their grandparents.”

I know I like to be around people and asked if birds and exotics were good company too. She said that these pets bond with people and that they are quite social and can be very entertaining. Ferrets are playful, interactive, and comical. Parrots are good companions too. “I can’t tell you how rewarding these pets can be,” Dr. Hess says. “Birds talk to you!”

I had to know if she had any pets and I wasn’t surprised to hear that she did: three birds, four cats, and several fish. I wonder if I can convince her to get an exceptional dog like me to add to her extraordinary menagerie. And maybe I can get an exotic pet too!

Contact Maggie Mae Pup Reporter at maggiemae10514@gmail.com

Maggie Mae lives in Chappaqua with her adoring owner Ronni Diamondstein, who, when she isn’t walking Maggie, is a freelance writer, PR consultant, award-winning photographer and a School Library Media Specialist and teacher who has worked in the U.S. and abroad.

Local Author Jacey Hill* Shares Her True-Life Dating Adventures

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An Excerpt from… AboutAverage.com

“Chicken Francese?” she repeated, correctly.

“Yeah, umm,hmm, Chicken Fran-Says-See,” he restated the same as before.

Clearly, this guy didn’t have an Italian bone in his body, that, or he didn’t get out much. I can understand screwing up the name of the place if you’re unfamiliar with it, but screwing up Chicken Francese? I have heard pronunciations like Fran-Chez, Fran-Sez, Fran-Chaze, Fran-Sayz. But never Fran-Says-See!

….The waitress set down the salad plates, which was a plate of iceberg lettuce, a wedge of tomato, an olive, and drenched with dressing. I cut my salad up like I always do because I hate the idea of trying to shove large lettuce leaves in my mouth loaded with a drippy dressing. My date, on the other hand, had no intention of caring whether he shoved a whole lettuce leaf in his mouth or a whole head of lettuce in his mouth! I then watched him shift into, what seemed to be an “eating stance” that consisted of his right hand planted on his right thigh, his left hand holding his utensil from the top, and his whole upper body hunched over his plate like a caveman who had never had a more than a fish stabbed at the end of a spear before.

As I quietly pecked at my side salad, cut up into smaller, bite-sized pieces, Contestant #10 was hunched over his plate, eating salad like his ship was going down. Ranch dressing was splashing, red onions were swinging, tomatoes were squirting. Lettuce remains that didn’t quite fit into his mouth were being cut by his front teeth, allowing them to drop back onto the plate, waiting for the next stab of his fork. As I was taking all this in, I realized the tennis talk finally ceased, probably because he was using his entire air intake to shove the salad down before the threat of someone came and took it away.

When he finally came up for air, I was about three quarters through with my salad. He was about to say something when I think he saw my transparent look of disgust spread across my face. Contestant #10 had ranch dressing dripping from his freakin’ chin! UH! Did I have the word IDIOT stamped across my forehead? Was that why I was attracting one idiot after another? Could I at least find a guy with manners? A napkin?

He straightened up in time to receive his next, light course of…..Chicken Fran-Says-See!!! His eyes lit up like Christmas morning and he quickly resumed his eating stance. As he demolished and devoured his chicken, I quietly ate my six little mushrooms, praying this date would be over soon. He pretty much ate his main course the same way he ate his appetizer. If anyone had been watching him sawing into his chicken one-handed with the side of his fork, they’d think this guy had never been allowed to eat in public his whole life. The table shook fiercely every time he tore into his chicken and sauce spattered about him, as he slopped each bite in a pool of Fran-Says-See sauce before slurping it into his awaiting mouth. At the rate this guy was going, he was going to eat the plate and bread basket before I got to my 4th mushroom. Really, this date couldn’t last too much longer.

Within the next few minutes, Contestant #10 did everything but lick his plate clean like a dog. I left a mushroom because, frankly, I completely lost my appetite.

“Would you like some dessert or coffee?” the waitress asked.

“I’m fine”, I said, “Full.” (of enough stomach turning for one night).

“How could you be full?” Contestant #10 asked.

“You barely ate that much,” he pointed out.

“It was a light dinner,” I remarked.

And, I didn’t feel the need to eat my way through the walls of a freaking restaurant like a damn termite, I thought.

*Jacey Hill is the pseudonym for a new, local author living in Westchester. She stays busy raising her two daughters, working as an elementary school teacher, and writing in her spare time. Jacey enjoys spending time with her family and her many friends, always trying to maintain a sense of stability for her family while balancing a sense of humor about being a single mom in the suburbs.

After a Divorce, Who Gets Custody of the Friends?

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By Mimi Long*

When I first went through my divorce, the sense of liberation was overwhelming! Other than childcare limitations, I was free to go anywhere with whomever I wanted. I was fortunate that one of my closest girlfriends was in the same place in life. But what about my other married girlfriends? What did we have in common socially now that our lives had diverged? Would I be excluded from dinner parties? Would they socialize with me without their husbands for a night on the town or would our interactions be limited to the occasional brunch or movie?

Because I had been the one to end my marriage, some of my friends’ husbands perceived me as someone who might potentially show their wives how great the “single life” is, so they discouraged contact. Some of my friends were eager to hit the town with me while others shook their heads saying, “I can’t even imagine being ‘out there’ again!”

When a couple’s social life is highly connected to other couples, the question arises of who gets custody of the friends after divorce. Laura Lee Carter, author of How to Believe in Love Again, writes, “When I got my divorce, which was a completely friendly transaction, no lawyers, all healthy, adult agreements, I lost a number of “friends” and I definitely felt judged by others.” The decision to remain friends with the husband or wife often depends upon a couples’ own relationship. If it is not solid, then being around divorced people can make them feel that their own marriage is more vulnerable.

Bestselling author and columnist, Julia Spira (CyberDatingExpert.com), notes that some divorced women find that their married friends often provide emotional support but may still exclude them from social events that are attended mainly by couples. Sometimes, women feel threatened that their newly single friend may have her eyes on their man. In such a case, they are more comfortable socializing one-on-one.

Therapist Jaymes Ian Woode, author of 101 Behaviors a Guy Needs to Understand about His Woman!, has worked with many divorced couples trying to maintain their friends. He has observed that if the divorced woman is spending too much time talking negatively about their ex or men in general, this may cause invitations to evaporate. Husbands can be mistrustful of their wives socializing with a single friend. He writes, “A good marriage does not warrant mistrust when one hangs out with a single friend. However, the opposite is true. A bad marriage will certainly cause husbands to be fearful of their wives going out with newly divorced friends who typically want to attract attention from men.”

There is no one answer on how to nurture such friendships. Much depends on the initial strength of the friendship. Mary Pender Greene, a relationship expert in New York City, advises the following: “All of us have an “A” list and a “B” list of friends depending on our compatibility with them and their availability. Ask yourself which ones have/will come through for you when the chips are down.”

Understand that not all your friends will be able to satisfy all your needs. Accept them for who they are and embrace what they have to offer. You will have a wider source for friendship without disappointment. Be happy for the differences among them by learning to utilize and enjoy those differences.

Mimi Long* is the pseudonym for a freelance writer and teacher in Westchester. She has two daughters and enjoys traveling the world and meeting new people.