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Texting

Call Me

February 25, 2023 by Cathy Deutsch

Years ago, everybody seemed to be blasting the song “Lean on Me” from the radio 24/7. The chorus repeated, “If you need a friend, call me.” This reprise seems to not have aged well as simply phoning a friend has become an anomaly replaced by the sterile, often misunderstood text.

Don’t get me wrong, I like the simplicity of a text to make plans, share a photo, update a situation, know where our children are, but honestly, I’m increasingly hungry for the human voice. It feels weird to text a friend to ask if now’s an ok time to talk.

My mother used the phone as an instrument and practiced hours a day with diligence and pleasure. Every day she spoke to her mother and sister numerous times, a cigarette and Sanka at the kitchen table, or the phone cradled between her shoulder and ear as she did dishes or polished her nails.

When I became a teen driving to a friend’s house, the requisite call or a “ring once” would be made upon arrival and when I left for home after dark. That would have been a great opportunity for a text. Had cell phones been the norm back then, the clicking of her texting all day, not hearing her voice and laugh filling the house would have been a loss–our home that much quieter and less animated.

Our voices carry who we are in the world and imprint deeply, an auditory image pressed into the airwaves perhaps forever.

My mom did become savvy with changing technology, working her remotes and computer with finesse, storing pictures, cataloging her collectibles, phone programmed with speed dials of family and emergency numbers. I remember a year or two before she passed, her brain a bit foggy, she asked if I could get her “the text”. Of course, I was amused but also impressed that she wanted to keep up. I did not, I admit, get her an updated phone as I knew she would be texting me all day long. As a working woman, the numerous daily calls were enough.

Wisely I kept the recorder from my long-disconnected landline, her messages captured for all time. Sometimes I play them back to hear her loving voice as I hit repeat until the tears fall.

Now bridging two worlds, I worry that we have fallen into an unnatural awkwardness that makes calling someone to say hi uncomfortable. I can’t help but wonder what the future holds as technology fills the generation gap potentially becoming the standard. This was not so just a few years ago when a living breathing voice on the other end gave space for a natural conversation. If one was busy, it was ok to say, “I’m busy, I’ll call you back when I have a few minutes.”

Are we always too busy, or just addicted to the “wham bam thank you ma’am” of a quickie text exchange?

Mental health experts have opined on the detriment of the lack of socialization during lock down on the development of children, but what about us adults? Many of us have had dramatic lifestyle changes due to the pandemic which, combined with the over reliance on texting, further isolates.

I’m not saying I want to abandon technology and all the time saving, educational and organizational benefits, but not to the exclusion of a good telephone call which no font or emoji can replicate.

This holiday, I did a fair amount of soul searching trying to figure out what I needed most going forward into the New Year. Yes, the typical stuff came up like reading more, exercising regularly, taking a trip here and there, but what I really want is more connection.

Though I have an outgoing personality it might be assumed that I’m a person who needs a large circle of friends juggling a social calendar like keeping spinning plates in the air but actually I am anything but that. A handful (and five is just about perfect) of reliable, no nonsense friends to walk with and share an occasional phone call to talk about nothing and everything is more the aching need.

So I called people. Just like Mom did. Old friends, new friends, family and neighbors I’d like to know better. I did not apologize for calling. I simply said, “I’ve missed you, how have you been?” The surprise then delight I was met with on the other end of the call across the corners of this earth was like a long drink of water with two straws on a very hot day.

So now I have created my New Year “New Normal”. I’m gonna call my friends. Be ready, it can happen any moment I get the urge. And I hope you call me too. If you’re already my friend, you have my number.

Filed Under: Inside Thoughts Tagged With: landline, phone calll, technology, telephones, Texting, Voice

Evan’s Law Marks First Big Step Toward Texting & Driving Reform

August 25, 2016 by The Inside Press

Ben Lieberman speaking at the introduction of Evan’s Law at the State Capitol in Albany. Behind him (left to right) are bi-partisan Bill Sponsors Senator Terrence Murphy (R-Westchester) and Assistant Assembly Speaker Felix Ortiz (D-Brooklyn) along with New Castle Town Supervisor Rob Greenstein.
Ben Lieberman speaking at the introduction of Evan’s Law at the State Capitol in Albany. Behind him (left to right) are bi-partisan Bill Sponsors Senator Terrence Murphy (R-Westchester) and Assistant Assembly Speaker Felix Ortiz (D-Brooklyn) along with New Castle Town Supervisor Rob Greenstein.

By Justin Ellick

When it comes to driving, we can all agree that using your phone while behind the wheel is a no-go. Doing so clearly takes the driver’s attention and eyes away from the road. It’s something we know is unsafe, so why do most of us do it so regularly? The danger phone usage presents while driving is obvious enough to society that laws were put in place to prevent it, but those laws have quickly become outdated and most concerning is that those laws are near impossible to enforce.

With the way technology has progressed over the past five to ten years, phones are now so much more than just a way of communicating. Smartphones have taken over the world, and as a result have taken over people’s lives. Most of us can’t go a 15-minute car ride without checking our Instagram or taking a Snapchat. The fact that most people can acknowledge this problem and yet are still offenders, should be enough of a red flag to pursue additional legal action regarding the issue.

After a ten-year decline in auto collisions mainly due to a decrease in drunk driving and better built cars, road fatalities spiked up a staggering 8 percent in 2015. Driver distraction seems the most likely culprit but because police are limited in how they can investigate –the problem remains dramatically underreported and therefore, we remain far away from proper understanding and far away from a viable solution.

Legislators and public health experts are fighting to change a distinctly modern behavior. One man at the forefront of this fight is Ben Lieberman, a resident of Chappaqua, who knows all too well the problems and dangers phone use while driving presents. In June of 2011, Ben’s son Evan was asleep in the back of a car when the driver lost control. Evan, 19, ultimately passed away from the injuries he suffered in the crash. His father spent the next several months in a civil lawsuit trying to retrieve phone records, which eventually showed that the driver, who claimed he had fallen asleep, was texting throughout the drive and moments before the crash. The collision happened in a dead cell area so the exact moment remains controversial.

This is where Ben learned there is very little police protocol in place to examine phones or phone records after a crash. He has been an advocate for driving safety ever since, and has been working tirelessly to get peoples’ hands off the phone and back on the wheel. As a result of this effort, Ben, his wife Debbie, and Deborah Becker (whose son was also a surviving passenger in the crash) have introduced legislation that would essentially start to treat distracted driving like drunken driving in New York State.

The bill, dubbed Evan’s Law in honor of Lieberman’s son, would give police officers at the scene of a crash roadside technology similar to that of the Breathalyzer, allowing them to tap into any operating system in order to check for recent illegal activity on the device (as opposed to legal Bluetooth use) all while avoiding any content. Also, if a passenger were using the driver’s phone, neither person would be penalized.

However, the legislation has raised concerns by privacy organizations. They suggest that phone records can be subpoenaed or a warrant can be obtained to examine the phone. Lieberman understands the concerns but notes that, “Phone records only reveal texting and phone calls which would exclude so many popular activities like social media, selfies and even a common email. Also, a warrant to examine the phone is far more difficult and time consuming to obtain than people could ever imagine. It’s also important to note that a phone can be wiped to original ‘store settings’ long before a warrant arrives.”

“The legislation’s intent is to meticulously respect privacy by emphasizing usage over content,” Lieberman continued, “There’s obviously going to be a kneejerk reaction from people that their phone is being looked at. We want to make sure people understand that such a device would only report how much you’re touching your cellphone, not what your touching it for.”

The technology behind the legislation has been nicknamed The Textalyzer. As for the company that would create such a device, Mr. Lieberman has teamed up with Cellebrite U.S.A., the mobile forensics company that has been reported to have cracked the San Bernardino terrorist’s IPhone when Apple was deadlocked with the FBI. Cellebrite has gone on record that they are confident they can develop the technology. The fact that a highly regarded tech company like Cellebrite vouched for the Textalyzer was huge for the Liebermans when it came to getting politicians behind the bill.

Democratic assemblyman Félix Ortiz, who is a strong supporter and sponsor of Evan’s Law, said that the Textalyzer would not give officers access to the contents of any emails or texts. It would simply give them a way to catch distracted drivers. If a bill like Evan’s law becomes reality, people are going to be more afraid to put their hands on the cellphone,” concluded Ortiz.

Senator Terrence Murphy (R-Westchester) speaking at July 26th Evan’s Team outing to detail progress on the legislation and efforts to curtail distracted driving.
Senator Terrence Murphy (R-Westchester) speaking at July 26th Evan’s Team outing to detail progress on the legislation and efforts to curtail distracted driving.

In six short months, Ben and his wife Debbie have made tremendous strides in changing the perspective people have on texting and driving. By bringing Evan’s Law and the Textalyzer technology to the forefront, they’re forcing a conversation hoping that people will realize that not only is distracted driving a destructive behavior but also, that there is very little in place to deter this.

Distracted driving should be taken just as seriously as drunk driving. They are both dangerous, crippling, and without a doubt a killer. But for some strange reason–phone usage is still socially acceptable. If we truly understood the scope of the damage, people would have more urgency. It’s time that distracting drivers are viewed with the same stigma as drunk drivers. Passing of Evan’s Law and the development of the Textalyzer are essential to that process.

Greeley grad Justin Ellick, a sophomore Media and Communications Major at Ursinus College in Philadelphia, is an intern for Inside Chappaqua and Inside Armonk Magazines this summer.

Filed Under: Armonk Cover Stories Tagged With: Distracted Driving, driving safety, Evan's Law, Texting, texting and driving

Chappaqua Rallies Against Distracted Driving

May 27, 2014 by The Inside Press

Ben Lieberman, co-founder of DORCs, moderates a panel on Police Protocol and crash investigation with Joseph A. McCormack, Esq., Chief of Vehicular Crimes Bureau; Bronx District Attorney’s Office; and Sergeant Anthony Mendez, Delaware State Police, Crash Investigation Unit.
Ben Lieberman, co-founder of DORCs, moderates a panel on Police Protocol and crash investigation with Joseph A. McCormack, Esq., Chief of Vehicular Crimes Bureau; Bronx District Attorney’s Office; and Sergeant Anthony Mendez, Delaware State Police, Crash Investigation Unit.

While the New York Distracted Driving Summit drew panelists and spectators from all over the country, Chappaqua was front and center. The event was held at the Westchester Medical Center and along with WMC, the summit was hosted by AT&T, DORCs (Distracted Operators Risk Casualties) and Stop Distractions.

Ben Lieberman, a long time Chappaqua resident and co-founder of DORCs, said, “There have been conferences that warn of the dangers of distracted driving but we wanted to move toward the next level of how to solve the problem. In general, we all accept that this is dangerous behavior, but the problem is growing with our dependence on Smartphone technology and the need to stay connected.”

Lieberman was the moderator on a panel addressing Police Protocol and Crash Investigations.

Deborah Becker, the other co-founder of DORCs, who has also lived in Chappaqua for many years, presided over a panel on “How To Reach Teens.” Sasha Byck, a Horace Greeley High School senior, represented the students exceptionally well. When asked about her role at the conference Sasha said, “This is the first year where driving and texting related deaths have surpassed the amount of deaths due to drunk driving. It is imperative that we as students, parents, and adults crack down on this issue before it continues to grow.”

A simulator was on hand to grade drivers while they engaged in distractive behavior.
A simulator was on hand to grade drivers while they engaged in distractive behavior.

Other panels and experts included representatives from the media for a discussion on the media’s role in solving this problem. Speakers came from many areas such as Governor Cuomo’s office, National Highway Traffic Safety Authority and even a video message from Anthony Foxx, U.S. Secretary of Transportation and Obama cabinet member.

The full day’s event can be seen on www.dorcs.org

 

 

(L-R): Ed Bergstraesser (external affairs director, AT&T) Sasha Byck, HGHS student and leader of S.A.D.D., Students Against Destructive Decisions) Beverly Pierce, MA, LCSW, CASAC, CPP, Program Administrator/Supervisor, Student Assistance Services, and Deborah Becker (Moderator and Co-founder DORCs)
(L-R): Ed Bergstraesser (external affairs director, AT&T) Sasha Byck, HGHS student and leader of S.A.D.D., Students Against Destructive Decisions) Beverly Pierce, MA, LCSW, CASAC, CPP, Program Administrator/Supervisor, Student Assistance Services, and Deborah Becker (Moderator and Co-founder DORCs)

Filed Under: Past Happenings Tagged With: Police Protocol, Stop Distractions, Texting

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