The Inside Press

Magazines serving the communities of Northern Westchester

Hopes Door

Finding Their Voice: Hope’s Door Survivor Advocacy Group

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At a Hope’s Door Gala Fundraiser

Holidays can be stressful for everyone, especially for those in domestic violence circumstances. Experts contend that the pressure of the celebrations can inflame emotions and behavior. Other stressors can also contribute to domestic abuse. The National Commission on COVID-19 and Criminal Justice reported an 8.1% increase in U.S. domestic violence incidents following the pandemic stay-at-home orders in 2020.

Maya Lloyd, MPH, director of Outreach and Development for Hope’s Door, has witnessed this phenomenon. To help, she has formed the Hope’s Door Survivor Advocacy Group. “The purpose of the group is to include former and active Hope’s Door clients in policy advocacy and give them the opportunity to use their voices and talents to support other survivors, educate the public, and amplify their stories,” says Maya.

Survivor Advocacy Group members volunteer to take part in speaking engagements, media interviews, agency outreach, fundraising events, and to provide support to others as they navigate the court system. “It’s empowering for members to speak their truth and help others,” says Maya, “It helps them find their voice, take their power back, and break the cycle of abuse.”

A Voice Found

Melisa Dean* learned about domestic and relationship violence in high school health class. What she learned was merely a chapter from what turned out to be a very complicated book. “We were taught that it can happen in any home,” says Melisa. “We learned some red flags, but you never think it will happen to you.”

That’s one reason Melisa joined Hope’s Door Survivor Advocacy Group. “When I was presented with the opportunity, I knew it was important to share my story,” she says. “It was very hard to open up, yet I knew if I didn’t do it now, I might not have the guts to do it in the future.”

Sharing her story has allowed her to spread the word on the seriousness of domestic violence. “I know sharing my story is 100% helpful to others,” she says. “It’s so common to be in denial. On average, it takes seven attempts for a victim to leave their abuser. If my story can help someone, that’s all for the better.”

Melissa knows because she was that person. At just 19, she found herself wooed into a relationship with a man 10 years older. She was one of the lucky ones who reached out for help and escaped with the assistance from a local police detective who sent police escorts to help her leave the home. “That was the most emotionally and physically draining day of my life,” she says.

The transition was rough. At first, Melisa says she was in denial about needing additional help. But once she reached out, she was glad she did. “Hope’s Door helped me build a new life,” she says. They helped her with the legal and court processes, and she saw a counsellor there for almost a year. She says Hope’s Door also helped her answer the big questions that she was left with in the wake of her experience–where does she stand in the world? Can a relationship ever be safe?

The End of Silence

Lilliana Estes* also knows that building a new life is a challenge. The manipulation she suffered in an abusive relationship distorted her reality. “You think you are the only one to be in this situation, you feel ashamed, and that shame keeps you silent,” she says.

She was confused but trying to find her way out when, on one of her visits to the local police precinct, an officer asked Lilliana if she wanted him to pass her name on to an organization that could help. She said yes, never expecting to hear from anyone. “I got a call from Hope’s Door the very next day and that call changed my life,” she says.

The physical violence and mental abuse she suffered had worn her down, but through counselling at Hope’s Door, Lilliana began to understood trauma bonding. She became committed to her emotional growth and the personal responsibility she had to take for her life. “In my case, I came to understand it wasn’t just about choosing the wrong partner, it was deeper than that,” she says.

For her, joining Hope’s Door Survivor’s Advocacy Group is part healing and part helping. “I had become wired to be silent, but now I have a voice, and I am going to use it to help others.” Lilliana says.

* name changed to protect anonymity

A local nonprofit, Hope’s Door runs a 24-hour bilingual hotline, 888-438-8700. The agency’s confidential and free services help with safety planning, offers counseling, legal assistance, and emergency shelter to those in need. hopesdoorny.org

7 Ways You Can Help at the Holidays … and Beyond

1) Select Hope’s Door for your #GivingTuesday charity of choice on November 29, 2022.

2) Shop for Hope’s Door through AmazonSmile Charity Lists. This is a meaningful way for you to shop and donate items directly to Hope’s Door. In addition, AmazonSmile donates 0.5% of your eligible Charity List purchases to the organization at no cost to you.

Hope’s Door Donation List on Amazon.com features items such as bedding, clothing, shoes, household items, and toiletries that can help domestic violence victims start a new life. The process is simple. Just visit smile.amazon.com, select Hope’s Door and start shopping.

3) Donate from the Hope’s Door Wish List. Gift cards to local supermarkets, drugstores and department stores are always welcome. See hopesdoorny.com for more information.

4) Attend the Gala Fundraiser events held each fall and spring or organize your own event to support Hope’s Door.

5) Volunteer to join the Friends Committee and help plan and organize Hope’s Door major fundraisers.

6) Invite the Love Shouldn’t Hurt Workshop to your school or organization. This interactive Hope’s Door workshop is designed for middle schools, high schools, colleges, and community-based sites to educate students and residents.

7) Volunteer your talent. Volunteers are needed to help with childcare, translation services, and administrative duties. If you have a skill–sewing, resume writing, self-defense training–offer to share it.

Treasures: Fabulous Finds and Paying it Forward to those in Need

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Emergency Shelter Partnership, Hope’s Door, Hudson Valley Honor Flight, and the Mount Kisco Interfaith Food Pantry

 

Treasure Photos by Donna Mueller

There is a not-so-hidden shopping treasure in Armonk. You’ve gone past it often, but now it’s time to stop in to discover and uncover some hidden treasures for yourself.

What and where is this mysterious place? It is a thrift shop aptly named Treasures in the basement of St. Stephen’s Episcopal Church, located at the entrance to the Bedford Road Historic District. However, the shop entrance is on Maple Avenue, thru the lower red door, across from Wampus Park.

“Thrifting is not only fashionable,” says Norma Hill, a long-time volunteer, “it’s fun. We can attest to that.”

Adds Trina Fontaine who oversees the shop on behalf of the church’s community out-reach efforts, “Treasures is truly a wellkept secret. Not only does Treasures boast bargains on high-end retail items, but it also helps individuals and households to be environmentally responsible with their donations and purchases.”

“The generosity of donors is beyond imagination,” continues Hill. Recent acquisitions include like-new Hermès and Burberry bags, St. John knits and Ralph Lauren jackets, as well as Jimmy Choo boots and shoes. “They literally flew out of the store,” according to Hill.

Among porcelain dishes, fine china and glassware items were a Tiffany cachepot and Baccarat vase, all at bargain basement prices. “No pun intended,” adds Fontaine. “The fun of shopping at Treasures is that you never know what you will find. We have many customers who come in once or twice a week to see what’s new.”

Started in 1967 by Mildred McDonald, a St. Stephen’s congregant and president of its Episcopal Church Women committee, Treasures’ business model has remained constant: providing low-cost, high-quality items to the community in order to lend financial support to local people in need. Half of the profits from Treasures support area non-profit organizations such as Emergency Shelter Partnership, Hope’s Door, Hudson Valley Honor Flight, and the Mount Kisco Interfaith Food Pantry. Through its partnership with Greentree Textiles, Treasures accepts textile and clothing items unsuitable for resale but able to be repurposed, including clothing, shoes, purses, and linens.

Recently, Treasures retail space was renovated, with merchandise now displayed in an airy, well-lit, clean, and uncluttered environment. Clothing is in one room, furniture and household goods in another, with assorted bric-a-brac in yet another. There is even a beautiful new fitting room, built by Father Nils Chittenden, where one can try on one’s selections. Treasures will also soon be adding another room for children’s clothes, books, games, and entertainment items.

Besides its rotating inventory, what makes Treasures so special is its cadre of 15 warm and welcoming volunteers, all happy to serve customers, bargain hunters and donors alike.

Treasures is open two days a week for shopping and drop-off: Wednesdays from 10 a.m. to 2 p.m., and Saturdays from 11 a.m. to 3 p.m. There is ample parking in the Maple Avenue lot in front of the store. Cash and credit cards are gladly accepted.

Customers and donors are also invited to visit its website: treasuresthriftshop.org. Or better yet, come by in person to discover for yourself the hidden treasures to be found at Treasures.

ARTICLE COURTESY OF THE ST. STEPHENS EPISCOPAL CHURCH

PHOTOS BY DONNA MUELLER

Hope’s Door Partners with ‘Stop COVID-19’ Special Operations Group D

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Effort Helps the Northern Westchester Domestic Violence High Risk Reduction Team 

On Friday, May 29, Kevin Hansan, Pound Ridge Supervisor, Nicole Engel, Pound Ridge Director of Operations and Emergency Management, and Pound Ridge Police Chief David Ryan received and opened two pallets containing 500 protective face shields that were donated by Amcor, an international manufacturer of packaging solutions. Amcor, in an effort to support essential workers during a time of crisis, has repurposed one of its manufacturing sites to produce face shields. These shields, donated by the Amcor Flexibles North America Healthcare team, will be now used by police officers and emergency service providers throughout northern Westchester to enhance their protection against COVID-19.

Officer Tom Traudt, Pound Ridge Police Department; Chief David Ryan, Pound Ridge Police Department; Barbara Turk, Director of Development, Hope’s Door; Nicole Engel, Director Operations and Emergency Management, Pound Ridge; Kevin Hansan, Supervisor, Pound Ridge; and Cecily Tyler, Stop COVID 19 Special Operations Group.

The donation happened rapidly and is a testimony to how collaboration can have a true impact in a time of crisis. In April, Cecily Tyler, a member of Stop COVID-19 Special Operations Group (the “SOG”), reached out to Barbara Turk, Director of Development and Community Relations of Hope’s Door, to see how the SOG might help. Aware of the paucity of personal protective equipment for police officers and emergency service workers responding to domestic violence calls, Turk confirmed the demand for face shields with Janmarie Brown, Director of Community Services at Hope’s Door and a member of the Northern Westchester High Risk Reduction Team. Brown suggested Turk call Robi Schlaff of the Westchester County Office for Women, and Chief David Ryan of the Pound Ridge Police Department, to identify the best way these face shields could help county workers. The SOG reached out to Amcor, which was moved by the mission of the Westchester Domestic Violence High Risk Team, and organized the donation. Working together, they effected the delivery.

According to Chief of Police Dave Ryan, the incidence of violence in the home is on the rise during this pandemic.  The situation is dire, with victims and children trapped in their homes 24/7 with their abusers.  Chief Ryan recognizes the difficulties that victims face in seeking help while under such tight controls. “What we’re trying to do is work with our partners in government, other service providers, other law enforcement agencies, as well as domestic violence victims and survivors, to find new ways that victims can reach us for help,” he says.  “With these face shields, officers and emergency service providers who respond to domestic violence calls can now feel safer entering the premises with these face shields and their fabric masks. We are very grateful for the donation,” he added.

Lionel Charpentier, of Amcor, participating in the activity via Zoom from Chicago, said “You are doing great work, the thing we are doing here is helping you to do it more safely.”

“I am honored to be a part of this collaboration that is crossing state lines and service sectors and demonstrating both the altruistic spirit and determination to help as many communities as possible during this global pandemic,” said Tyler. 

Hope’s Door is a domestic violence agency located in Hawthorne, NY, whose mission is to end domestic violence and empower its victims to achieve safety, independence and healing from the trauma of abuse.  Hope’s Door has remained fully operational throughout the pandemic and the NYS PAUSE, with counselors and lawyers operating remotely and virtually. The Hope’s Door shelter operates 24/7/365, regardless of the pandemic or other external interruptions. Hope’s Door reopened their offices on Monday, June 8, 2020 after 12 weeks of working remotely.

The shields were made and shipped to Pound Ridge in Westchester County, NY by Amcor, a global leader in developing and producing responsible packaging for food, beverage, pharmaceutical, medical, home- and personal-care, and other products.

Stop COVID 19 Special Operations Group (the “SOG”) helped coordinate Amcor’s donation to the Westchester Domestic Violence High Risk Team. The SOG was started by a group of healthcare executives to accelerate the deployment of solutions and technologies against the COVID-19 pandemic and its consequences. Recent events have highlighted the tens of thousands of unseen front-line workers and volunteers that provide support to marginalized communities. Many of these heroes do not have the basic personal protective equipment. Stop COVID 19 Special Operations Group is focused on helping them complete their mission of improving the lives of others, critical in times like today.  Supporters of Stop COVID-19 SOG leading this initiative include Lorraine Marchand, Julia Monfrini Peev, Angela Rossetti, Maria Siambekos, Cecily Tyler and Michael Williams.

This news is courtesy of Hope’s Door.  Visit:  https://hopesdoorny.org/

 

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Hope’s Door Statement Regarding Local Domestic Violence Case

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hopesdoorThe story concerning the strangulation and subsequent death of Theresa Gorski of Sleepy Hollow is sad and tragic. Her husband, who had been charged with attempted murder, now faces a homicide charge. Justice in the courts may prevail for Theresa Gorski, but that will be small comfort to those who loved her – most importantly, her two young daughters, ages 5 and 8, who have lost their mother forever.

The advocates at Hope’s Door worked with 765 domestic violence victims and their children last year at our centers in Pleasantville, White Plains, and Ossining. Horrifically, 45% of the adult female victims we served had been strangled and an equal percentage had been sexually assaulted or coerced in their homes.

Home is where you should feel safe and protected. Hope’s Door is where you can go if you’re not. We strongly encourage your readers living with abuse to reach out to Hope’s Door or their local domestic violence agency for help in navigating a path to safety. There is little that we can do now for Theresa Gorski, but we can work together to keep other victims safe. Hope’s Door’s services are available 24-hours a day, free and confidentially, at 888-438-8700.