The Inside Press

Magazines serving the communities of Northern Westchester

Back to School

Savor Each Page

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Photo by Andrew Bordeaux

Summer and the living is preparing residents and visitors alike for different fall downtown events and fundraisers both as official ‘media sponsor’ and/or as a community-friendly ‘hyperlocal’ and merchant supported/reader coveted pub. We’re ‘all over the net’ too at theinsidepress.com and largely on Facebook. Keeps us on our toes, especially while also gathering so many additional, equally compelling profiles around our back to school theme. Grateful to Stacey Pfeffer, our new editor for both editions for writing and producing several stories in both editions (all while getting her feet wet in her new role! Bravo!)  There are so many fundraisers we are promoting both in story and/or in a sponsor spot, so be sure to savor each page and ‘Save the Date’ for whatever strikes your fancy or piques your interest.
Readers, please feel free to let us know when you visit or call a sponsor or attend an event because of ‘what you saw’ in our pages. And sponsors, likewise, please do let us know about a happy customer or two, and we’ll happily publish your experience some time, and voila, more press for you. Drop a note at my new email: grace@insidepress.com. In the meantime, summer’s fading fast. Get outdoors (if you enjoy cycling, maybe first check out our Biking story?), and enjoy! I plan to.

Ready or Not – School is Right Around The Corner

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By Jodi Baretz

Summer is the time we all look forward to–it’s the weather, of course, but it’s also the relaxed vibe and laziness of it all. As summer begins to wind down and the back-to-school craziness begins, one may well wonder how to hold onto some of that tranquility and calm; how to relish the days and not become frazzled and frantic with lives, schedules and children. The weather will inevitably change, and so too our children’s schedules, but that doesn’t have to mean the end of nirvana.

No matter how old one’s child is, chances are their schedules will be chaotic and hectic. This is the nature of childhood these days, and the culture we live in. We tend to fear that if we don’t put our child in every sport, art class or lesson, they will get left behind. If we don’t give them every possible opportunity to excel, they will be stuck in mediocrity for the rest of their lives.Take a step back and ask yourself if they really need to be in so many structured activities. When we over-schedule our children, we take away that crucial unstructured time where they learn to play. We also worry that unscheduled free time will just lead to more screen time, or, perhaps, that we will have to fill it ourselves. I suggest you do allow some down time; it may just let you be with your children–without screaming to get out the door when they’re exhausted, not to mention save you an extra carpool. It will also take some pressure off your children and send a message that it’s ok to recharge, relax and just be a kid. Maybe if we experiment with this concept, and slow down, we will be calmer and better able to enjoy the fleeting time we do have with our kids. Remembering to love and accept every child for themselves, not what they achieve, is crucial to their state of mind and ours.

Back to schoolHelping your child adjust to the stress of a new school year can feel overwhelming. I can recall the butterflies in my stomach the first day of school every year. Beginnings always produce some sort of anxiety, just like endings can produce sadness. The important thing to remember is that this is normal, and not to trivialize or ignore their feelings, or your own. You might tell them that everyone experiences feelings of nervousness, but the feelings are sure to go away as a routine settles in and that you expect they will soon feel just fine. Telling them that you went through the same thing as a child can also ease their anxiety. We don’t want to push the anxiety away, but shifting it from their head (our minds can make up doomsday scenarios) to feeling it in their body can sometimes diffuse it as well. You do this by asking them what part of their body they feel it in. Can they breathe into it, and simply allow it to be there?

To ease your kids into the back to school structure, you may want to have them start going to bed a little earlier every night, so they are not completely wiped out when the early mornings arrive. Kids may also feel like their screen and play time will be over, so it’s important not to take that away completely in exchange for a rigid schedule. Personally, I am planning to make some screen time rules during homework time. What I’m suggesting is that new rules be implemented, and that they are reasonable, not punitive.

As summer slowly fades away, and a new school year begins, we have a choice. We can approach it with sadness, stress and anxiety, or we can chose to view it as a new beginning, a new challenge with new joys. We cannot change or hold on to the summer months, but we can approach this transition with a sense of wonder, curiosity and gratitude for what it will bring. If things get too stressful and you see the anxiety start to build, remember to STOP–Stop, Take A Breath–open and Observe what you’re feeling, and then Proceed! You might even consider sharing that one with your kids!

Jodi Baretz is a psychotherapist and mindfulness coach, with a private practice at The Center for Health and Healing in Mt. Kisco. In addition to her private clients, she leads a variety of small group mindfulness trainings from busy moms to corporations, teaches mindfulness for Chappaqua Continuing Education, and a “Mindfulness Bootcamp,” four-week program. She lives with her husband and two teenage boys in Millwood. You can reach her at jodibaretz@gmail.com or visit jodibaretz.com.

BACK TO COOL: A Balancing Act

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Beth Head shotWasn’t it just yesterday we were hunkered down, huddled and hibernating? Summer couldn’t come fast enough and then, blink, it’s almost over.

Unfortunately, we can’t stop time. But we can reframe our approach to its inevitable passage. In that spirit, we present our latest issue, not so much as a Back to School reminder but, instead, a Back to Cool primer.

There’s a growing sense of awareness that we’re becoming ever more over-extended, and that the very things that were supposed to make life easier are, instead, making it more stressful. Our smartphones were supposed to allow us more freedom, but, too often, we’re hostage to their ringtones, alerts, vibrations. We’ve gone from a largely understood and widely accepted schedule of work/play balance to an expectation of 24/7 availability. What’s more, these devices frequently separate us from each other, even when we’re actually together!

Additionally, we’re paying more attention to the long-term negative effects of pressure, and it’s affect on mental health, particularly that of our children. Where even one report is one too many, sadly, there has been a seeming onslaught of recent suicide stories focusing primarily on high school and college-aged children and young adults. While the media is varied–from newer online publications like the Huffington Post to venerable print publications like The New York Times–the message is consistent: Pressure, and in particular, performance pressure–whether social, education, sports-related and/or arts-related–is overwhelming our young people and making them vulnerable. Something needs to change.

We’re proud to have published two related articles last December, Time To Talk by Janine Crowley Haynes and When It’s Personal by Rich Klein, on this very topic; prouder still that the Mental Health Association of Westchester has chosen to honor the Inside Press and Publisher Grace Bennett with a “MHA Media Award” for consistent and in depth coverage on topics related to mental health in recent years. I know Janine and Rich’s stories resonated with our readers, and that they were further shared far and wide. Ultimately, that’s what makes us most proud; the opportunity to shed light, share information and help to bring about much needed change.

I have two college-aged children, and, while their paths have certainly had bumps along the way, I like to think they’ve both come to relatively “good places” in their lives. Still, it’s part of my Mom job description to worry. When kids are away at school, that worry becomes more abstract, but those aforementioned stories bring it up close, and make me long for my kids and for a real live hug, not a virtual xoxo.

No, virtual worlds just aren’t good enough. As an empty nester, I realize my kids’ time at home is ever more limited and I enjoy them all the more for knowing that. I felt particularly fortunate that my daughter returned home to work another summer as a day camp counselor. There’s still nothing like a casual car conversation or a shared day of shopping to truly open the lines of communication. I’ll admit that we do our fair share of small screen surfing, but, as she points out, her generation did not grow up on iPads. I read old-school, page-filled paper books to both my children every night, and “screen time” limits were really just about the TV.

It’s very interesting to hear my daughter’s perspective on the generation that’s up and coming. For example, she found it fascinating and, in her words, “a little scary”, that the campers on her bus seemed, initially, quite out of sorts without their handheld devices (per camp rules, these were not allowed). However, the brighter news is that she was able to redirect them; they played trivia games, she brought them lanyard, they listened to music, they engaged with each other. In other words, balance was achieved.

Maybe that’s what is truly best, truly special, about these two months that we so look forward to during the other ten. Balance! As we head into a new season, I wish everyone a sense of balance. Get out and take a hike; we’ve got some great suggestions in Adventures in Armonk. Let your kids and their imaginations run free in one of the many Playgrounds we’ve discovered. Join friends and make new ones at the annual Armonk Outdoor Art Show. Love present-day Armonk? Why not Celebrate the History of North Castle as well? And, when you’re ready, do take some time to get to know Dr. Donohue and the New Byram Hills PTSA; we’ve got these stories and more in the pages ahead.

Enjoy,

-Beth

P.S.: A special thank you note for the terrific work provided by college intern Sarah Jane Weill; from a first-person report of Armonk’s new First Thursday event to a story on the annual Outdoor Art Show to an essay on college advice for freshman, Sarah Jane balanced it all with talent, enthusiasm and professionalism.

 

Extra-Curricular Matters and Lessons in Life

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Motivational Speaker Geri Mariano. Carolyn Simpson Photo.
Motivational Speaker Geri Mariano. Carolyn Simpson Photo

By Geri Mariano

I am not a parent, so the ubiquitous phrase “Back to School” does not elicit the glee it might otherwise from adults counting down the days until their children leave the house each morning. However, I am excited that the school year is fast approaching. And the reason for that is simple: school had, and still has, a tremendous impact on my life.

Unabashedly, I was one of those students who actually looked forward to returning to the routine of school each September. While I enjoyed the summer months, my physical limitations (I was born with abnormalities of all things skeletal) meant that I could never be as active as most kids. Therefore, school was a place I could belong–and even thrive academically –with peers for six to seven hours each day. So, during the spring of 1972, my mom and I made the rounds of Northern Westchester school districts as I was due to start Kindergarten come September. Our mission was to meet school administrators and find which districts would welcome a student with special needs; there was no federal mandate to publically educate children with disabilities at that time.

In all my presentations, I give much credit to the Byram Hills School District for accepting me before it was legally required to do so. Was everything hunky-dory from my first day to graduation thirteen years later? No. Were restrictions placed for my own “safety” (and likely school liability)? Yes. Were parents more nervous than my fellow Kindergartners? Yes! Was I made to feel an oddity from classmates? Happily, mostly No … and this is why I embarked, several years ago now, on sharing my stories.

When at Smith College, unable to walk quickly about campus, I zoomed around on what I affectionately called my “buggy”. My daily routes (to classes and my work-study job) took me past a campus pre-school where, unsurprisingly, the children who saw me would stare, point or giggle. A wise teacher flagged me down one day and asked if I might meet with the children. I readily accepted. Introducing myself, I asked them if I looked “funny.” When they admitted that I did, I agreed with them. I don’t remember all we talked about, but, when leaving, I suggested that now that they knew me, maybe I wouldn’t look so weird to them. Suddenly, I had many new friends, and each day after, there were waves and shouts of “Hi Geri!”

Geri in elementary school.
Geri in elementary school.

Pieces of a puzzle I hadn’t realized existed began falling into place. 
I thought of my Byram Hills classmates and how they had always known me. Years later, when reconnecting with many through social media, they all confirmed my hypothesis: they’d always accepted me because they always knew me as just Geri, one of them. I was never a stranger, so I was never seen as “different.” And had they known of any bullying incidents, each offered they would have quickly taken care of the situation. What an amazing gift!

Still, I am reminded how important it is to teach our children, and how adults in particular have their part to play–especially after one discouraging encounter at a local department store.

A group of three or four pre-teen girls began following me around while I was shopping alone. I can accept a look here, a stare there, even a pointed finger or snicker. But what I cannot abide are triple takes or being trailed by youth of an age that should be better mannered. I remember turning, raising my shortened arms, asking “do you have a problem?” The girls quickly moved away, but, minutes later, stealthily began following me again. I then turned to track them to the adult charged with their behavior. Loathe as I am to complain to a stranger, I interrupted this woman on her cell phone and simply stated that the girls had been very rude. Shrugging, the woman responded, “What do you expect?” I expect adults and parents to do better.

My mom often admitted I was dealt a bad hand and that life isn’t fair. However, she’d continue, that did not mean the world owed me anything; nothing would be handed to me on a silver platter. Has life been a struggle? Yes. Have I had good times over the years? Absolutely. Would I like life to be easier? Of course. But I’d also like to see better understanding in the world for a whole host of difficulties.

I choose to do my part to facilitate that understanding, at least of differences, in our community and elsewhere. Will you join me? 
Thanks, Just Geri

Longtime Armonk resident Geri Mariano was born with diatrophic dysplasia, a lifelong condition that affects bone and cartilage resulting in many physical and social challenges. To learn more about Geri, please visit her website: 
www.justcallmegeri.com