Many dating sites help those looking for their soul mate, from OKCupid to eHarmony to the cutely named LoxClub, but those with special needs are often left out of the mix. That’s why an intriguing post on a local mom’s social media page caught our eye. Started by a Long Island-based social worker for more than three decades, Jill Schieber launched Matchmaking for the Socially Challenged at Matchmakingforme.com earlier this year after hearing how many of her clients with special needs faced unique challenges on their search for a romantic partner or even platonic friendships.
“Many feel socially isolated. Many are neurodivergent or on the autism spectrum or have social delays. They can have trouble finding people like them, entering a relationship and then maintaining one. Many have tried other ways of finding a partner like speed dating without much success,” she added.
Schieber believes that an important first step for her clients is working on friendships. Everyone is connected with at least one individual for friendship first, primarily to teach skills. Before matching individuals, Schieber and her staff ask the clients questions to ascertain who would make a good match. “Typical questions are what do you like to do in your spare times, what are your hobbies, what is your religion and political beliefs and is it important to you to find someone with a similar background. We also ask questions about what they value and would like to see in people they would be connected with. Also, what traits they wouldn’t like a person they would be meeting to have,” she explains.
Many of her clients are in their 20s or 30s. Schieber describes a typical client from Westchester* – a man in his early 20s who was on the autism spectrum who came to her to make friends and learn how to keep them. Once he signed up, he met with Schieber who did an extensive interview to get to know him and what he’s looking for in a friendship. She also performed a background check to make sure there were no legal issues.
He then met with one of Schieber’s coaches who felt he needed another coaching session to continue to go over some of the basic skills. As a heterosexual man, she will next pair him with another young man with whom he will first spend some time connecting with the other phone either by talking or texting. Next, he with his family will set up a time and place to meet. They may decide to go to a restaurant to get something to eat or possibly to a movie together. This is something their parents/guardians will gauge. After they meet, the site’s coaches will get feedback from both participants and utilize that information to enhance their continued interactions.
Her company offers two tiers of membership- a basic membership which offers access to her database and premium membership with hand-picked matches and both types of clients may participate in relationship coaching for an additional fee.
Schieber says she has seen tremendous interest in her site particularly from moms who want their children to forge relationships. “It is the moms who seem to be the best connection for their kids,” and so far, Schieber has generated a lot of interest from moms all throughout Westchester including Bedford, Chappaqua, Mamaroneck, Rye and Scarsdale
As we went to press, Schieber was hoping to set up some Valentine’s Day meet ups for clients and expand her business into New Jersey because as her site says everyone deserves the opportunity to connect, form meaningful relationships, and find love and friendship, regardless of any obstacles they may face.
*client’s identity protected for privacy
