camp Archives - Inside Chappaqua and Inside Armonk: The Magazines for New and North Castle

When my Kids Said “No” to Camp

March 2, 2015 by The Inside Press

Ok, we all know that family. They are the ones scratching their heads about how to fill the hours and hours of “free time” for their kids this summer because their children had too much anxiety about camp, and mom and/or dad caved, thinking “well, I don’t think you should force a child to go.”

I know that family because it was my own. For whatever reason, my kids were never particularly “easy” about camp. Yes, some summers I did manage to get one or both off (when it was both, it felt like a total coup!), and like other parents in town, I gleefully looked forward to and indeed enjoyed more lazy “responsibility free” summer hours at the pool club after a few hours of work, or no work at all.

Ah, yes, the Chappaqua life for me. After expending a respectable amount of stay- at-home (and work too) energy all through the school year, it was a charmed July and August the moment that camp bus pulled up. A leisurely walk with a friend through the North County trail or into the woods at Whipporwill. A tennis game at Club Fit. Or, perhaps, a glorious jaunt to the city on Metro North to catch up with the Met or MOMA. Mom goof off ops galore! They were all the more “doable” those long summer days pre “pick up” from day camp, or on the couple times, we got them off to sleepaway camp too. I never felt any guilt about parting ways, knowing after all that we were paying a pretty penny for our kids’ daily entertainment via time spent with such enthusiastic , energetic hands (all those cute counselors! another dynamic, charming camp director!) and peers with whom they shared a host of activities. Visiting day was something I always genuinely looked forward to.

And yet, as “great a summer” as the kids appeared to sometimes have, late fall/winter would roll around, time to plan, and at different junctures, some version of an “I’m not going to camp” chorus would kick in. At one camp, I did determine that there were social issues that had caused considerable stress for one child, and I could feel my whole body reeling and later empathizing with my child’s disappointment and determination to avoid that all over again. Perhaps my own ambivalence was noted and capitalized on because the anti-camp campaigns could sometimes get pretty intense. (Sorry kids, you are young adults now, and I get to spill…just a little!)

I would like to add too, that while getting your kid to camp is a most noble goal, and creates wonderful experiences and memories, it’s also not the end of the world either if it doesn’t work out. Despite “all the free time,” we did have some great out of the box times together and those are the stuff of memories too. It just seemed a little hard at times at least till we got in some summer groove.

So it was with all this in mind that I thought a writer might check in with other parents who had similar experiences along with some expert resources in the area about any resistance to camp, whether you wish to call it separation anxiety or just plain old fear. Not surprisingly, it turned out to be a pretty touchy topic…as parents did not beat down the writer’s door to share stories about difficulties getting their kids to camp, or to agree to camp at all. But the author (Eileen Gallagher) did gather some solid advice, checking in with many of our expert camp sponsors for additional commentary. We hope you find it helpful, and perhaps on social media when we post this story, you too will begin to spill freely about your own child’s anti camp sentiments and what you ultimately did about it. Stranger things have happened.

In the meantime, here’s to a happy summer for your own children…wishing you the peace you deserve, and your children, in camp or not, the time of their lives.

Grace Bennett is publisher and editor of The Inside Press, Inc.

Getting YOU and Your Child Excited for Camp

March 2, 2015 by Eileen Gallagher

Despite the lingering snow, summer is not far away. As days get longer and temperatures climb, the time will come for children of all ages to embark upon the exciting adventure of heading off to summer camp.

Thinking about a day camp experience for your child, but concerned about separation anxiety? Worrying about how your son or daughter will adjust to a new setting? You are not alone. This practical and straightforward advice from day camp experts will ease your mind and help you both make a smooth transition.

Ruth Goodman, a social worker at Mount Kisco Child Care Center, assures parents that separation anxiety tends to be short lived. “Summer camp is often longer than a school day,” she reminds parents. “Camp counselors should expect such a reaction, and should welcome the camper with warmth and a song or other opening activity to assist the parent in saying a quick and confident goodbye.”

“Parents worry because kids worry,” states Gina Zohar, director of the “Little Cavs” program at the Harvey School. “Go over the schedule the day before. Let them know what to expect for lunch. Who will be picking them up that day? Let them know.”

The director of World Cup Nursery School and Kindergarten, Roxanne Kaplan, mentioned that children are very perceptive, and will pick up on the fact that a parent is worried. “As parents, it is important to keep your emotions in check. I know that it is often easier said than done, but when you are feeling worried, try to remember all the reasons why you chose the camp.”

“Even if you are nervous as a parent, do your best to show your child how confident you are that he or she will have a great experience at camp,” advises Gordon Josey, owner and director of Breezemont Day Camp. Parents should address issues they might be worried about with the camp to alleviate their concerns, but at a time the child is not around.

Zohar tells parents they have 24/7 access to her. As a parent, teacher, and camp director, she understands the situation from all points of view and stresses the importance of communicating. “I love what I do, and love talking with parents and grandparents. [Camp] is a big deal. We want them to love it!”

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Other tips:

Visit the camp ahead of time to have a sense of what your child should expect.

Give your child a photo or comfort item to hold onto during the day.

Keep goodbyes “short and sweet,” and less painful.

Go over the schedule the day before. For example, will there be art, skating, swimming, etc.

Check in with the camp during the day if you have concerns about your child’s adjustment.

Empathize with your child, listening to their concerns, but redirect them to the positive aspects of the camp.

Finally, take heart. In Kaplan’s experience, “Ninety nine percent of the time, when you call to check in on your camper, you will find out that the tears were very short lived.”

Eileen Gallagher is a regular contributor to both the print and online editions of The Inside Press (www.theinsidepress.com). Her children attended summer day camps and enjoyed them so much, they went on to become counselors.

PUBLISHER’S Note: A SPECIAL THANK YOU TO ALL OUR CAMP SPONSORS FOR THEIR EXPERT ADVICE IN THIS FEATURE.

Camp Mohawk:  “Mentoring Children”

March 2, 2015 by The Inside Press

“There is a growing understanding amongst child development experts that camp is so much more than just fun,” says Mohawk Day Camp Director and Horace Greeley graduate Ken Schainman. “Camp has always been terrific at teaching swimming, sports, arts, and an appreciation of nature. What is so exciting about camp today is that we have become much more sophisticated in mentoring children in critical life-skills, from perseverance and resolve, to leadership and collaboration. The opportunity to have this type of impact is what drew me back into camping.”

Ken joined his parents, longtime Chappaqua residents Steve and Barbara Schainman, as a Director at Mohawk in 2004. “I get to work every day with my own role models. They set a pretty high standard. After all, the American Camp Association gave them its highest recognition as ‘Legends in Camping’ for their contributions to the field,” says Ken.

The Schainman family has directed Mohawk for 50 years, and have both watched and led a major shift in camping. “I learned to play ball and swim at camp, and developed my closest friendships there,” says Steve. “Those fundamentals are still in place. When I took over Mohawk in 1965, though, I never imagined the range of activities that children can try today. And I certainly never thought that I would hear counselors congratulating campers on their grit and resilience. It’s wonderful that camps have been able to create an even broader experiential education.”

“My husband was the athlete. I was a shy artistic child. Mohawk was where I developed confidence,” says Barbara Schainman, who met Steve at Mohawk during his first season as Director. “I’ll always remember that my parents marveled that I starred in a play in front of an entire camp audience. Camp provides such a wonderful opportunity for children to explore and try new things–things that they never imagined doing!”

Ken, who left camping to earn an MBA at Duke and pursue a consulting career, feels fortunate to carry on his family’s camp tradition. “Today’s camps talk about ‘21st Century Skills,’ those that are necessary to succeed and thrive in today’s world. More than 90% of companies say that the things we learn at camp–teamwork, communication, determination and independence–are lacking in today’s workforce. We used to believe that success brings happiness. The research is clear, however. Happiness promotes success, and the happiest place I know is camp!”

PUBLISHER’S NOTE: Thank you to Camp Mohawk for their sponsorship in our Spring editions.