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Time To Talk: 
Broaching the Difficult Topic of Depression
 and Suicide in Teens and Young Adults

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counseling-for-teens6By Janine Crowley Haynes

“We hope that by heightening awareness about mental health challenges, we can make a difference in the lives of persons whose painful struggle can feel so bleak at times and to provide opportunities to seek valuable help and resources. 

Miles’ enduring love for his family and friends, gentle ways, and deep sensitivity he had for others will always remain within all of us. We are thankful to have clips of Miles playing his guitars, photos of him running at many of his track meets swift as a deer, countless family occasions and his poetry writings–a powerful means for us to connect to him, cherish the memories and to reflect on.

As the mother of Miles, my dream is for anyone who struggles with depression to not be afraid of reaching out to ask for help, and for the professionals to have better means of assessing depression from its earliest onset. My message is that there is always hope to see the light beyond the darkness–when one can muster the courage no matter how painful it may feel–and know that with a new day there is always a new beginning.   

Miles would have wanted us to spread the love so please let your readers know to hug someone they care about everyday!” Shari, Ed, Max and Hannah

—

Along with so many in our Westchester community, my heart broke when I heard the news of Miles Applebaum’s untimely death.* Young people taking their own lives is happening all too often in our communities. The American Psychological Association (APA) notes that suicide is the third leading cause of death in teens and young people, ages 15-24, and that it’s increasing at an alarming rate. In addition, for every completed suicide, there are approximately 100-200 attempts.

The topic of mental illness and suicide, especially amongst our kids, is a complicated, emotionally charged topic not easily open for public discussion. For me, it unearths the pain and guilt of my own suicide attempt. I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder at 31, but looking back, I presented symptoms as a teen that flew under the radar. I am one in four (approximately 61.5 million) adult Americans struggling with a mental illness in a given year.

We all know the protocol when one is diagnosed with a mental illness. Early intervention is key. We do our research, seek professional help, and decide on the best form of treatment. But when our child is assigned a diagnosis, how do we know if they’re at risk for suicide? Not all children fit the clinical mold. According to Dr. Madeline Levine, author of The Price of Privilege and a featured speaker of both Chappaqua and Armonk PTAs last year, many of her adolescent patients “have a notable ability to put up a good front.”

“There are many components that go into whether a teen is at risk for suicide,” says William M. Dince, P.h.D., a psychologist and Chappaqua resident specializing in neuropsychologically-based assessment and treatment. “Parents can begin by looking at the APA list of warning signs. It is then essential to go for a consultation to assess the degree of risk. We can observe behaviors, body language, what a child talks about, etc. We talk with parents, get a sense of their family structure, their social environment…It is essential to measure the degree of impulsivity that is present, as many suicides are the result of an impulsive act during a moment of despair,” Dr. Dince adds. Impulsivity is the diminished ability to think through the consequences of one’s actions, and youth is a time of impulsivity.

Then comes the tough decision: Treatment. Choosing from all the different forms of therapy can be daunting, and, if a medication is prescribed, the list of serious side effects must be considered. Also, one medication may work wonders for one individual but adversely affect another. Sometimes additional medications are added. Some medications can work well for a while then be rendered ineffective. It can take months for a person to feel the full, positive effects. Recovery can be a painstakingly long road.

I turned to my psychiatrist, Dr. Anri Kissilenko, of Silver Hill Hospital, for his perspective. “There are times when it’s necessary to put a teen or young adult on medication, but it’s important to note this is a critical time period when a patient needs to be closely monitored,” says Dr. Kissilenko. “If a patient is being treated, let’s say, for depression, there’s a phase when the medication starts lifting symptoms and a patient begins to experience an increase in energy level. However, their total sense of wellbeing has not caught up. Stabilization has not yet been fully achieved. They may still be experiencing negative and suicidal thoughts. It’s during this critical time when a patient’s motivation [or impulsivity] to attempt suicide is high.”

In addition, there are the countless societal aspects to be considered. In our culture, our children graduate high school, go to college, then head off to work or graduate school by the young age of 22. We consider them ready to take on the challenges that go along with being an adult. Yet, from ages 18-24, the part of the brain that helps develop a sense of self/identity, continues to develop.

So what’s one cultural difference for this generation? What’s changed in our communities that make our children susceptible? “Welcome to Stresschester,” a mom recently said to me. I laughed, but that statement packs quite a punch. Our kids have enormous pressures placed on them. On top of rigorous academic programs, their schedules are filled with extracurricular activities. For the most part, our children thrive. My son did, but not without feeling the stress. As parents, we want to provide them with every advantage to succeed in this highly competitive world. Join some clubs, take music lessons, be an athlete, be a dual athlete, volunteer time–sound familiar? With such a full schedule, “there’s an absence of 
what’s called unstructured play,” 
Dr. Dince remarks.

We don’t have to dip far into the past to compare our childhood to our children’s. Most of us went to school, came home, got a snack, did some homework, and ran outside to play with friends. We ran into conflict, learned how to compromise and resolved problems with our peers without too much parental intervention. “Unstructured play helps to develop our sense of self and equips us with a social skill set that prepares us for the real world filled with conflict, rejection, and failure,” states Dr. Dince.

This topic is multifaceted, and I am limited when it comes to speaking authoritatively. However, what I can offer is my personal perspective as one who attempted suicide. I had all the right boxes checked. Loving, supportive family? Check. Healthcare? Check. Top doctors and hospital? Check and check. So how could I conceivably have the audacity to attempt suicide?

My only answer is to try to explain to a healthy brain how a sick brain works. To the healthy brain, suicide is an incomprehensible, selfish act. However, to a sick brain, it feels like the only logical solution. I convinced myself that my family would be better off without me and my illness. After 10 years of going in and out of vicious bipolar cycles, I couldn’t bear another second. I wanted out of my body. So, without consideration of the destruction I’d leave behind, I swallowed a bunch of pills to end my misery. In hindsight, I experienced that moment of impulsivity. A sick brain doesn’t consider the devastating consequences. I’ve been episode-free for ten years now, yet I still carry the guilt of that dark day. But I’m one of the lucky ones. I survived. I’ve learned to manage and treat my bipolar disorder as if it were any other potentially life-threatening illness.

At this point, I wish I could provide a fail-safe list for attaining and maintaining a state of wellbeing, but there are too many variables in life to have one specific formula. However, I don’t want to end this discussion without acknowledging some of the positive life lessons that came out of something so horrible. Taking ownership of my bipolar disorder and apologizing for my suicide attempt was important to healing as a family unit. The compassion, understanding, and forgiveness I received from my family has been one powerful elixir. Although my family has not come away unscathed, we have managed to come to a place of peace and resolve.

From the human perspective, losing a child is every parent’s worst nightmare. A loss to suicide should not be put into a separate category from the child we lose to any other life-threatening illness. May their struggles not be forgotten or stigmatized. May their families find comfort in the outpouring of love from our communities. Above all, may we honor and remember them for all the love, joy, and laughter they brought into our lives.

Janine Crowley Haynes is a Chappaqua resident and author of My Kind of Crazy: Living in a Bipolar World

*Publisher’s Note: Early in October, the life of the multi-dimensional and exceptionally talented 21-year-old Miles Applebaum was celebrated during a beautiful service attended by hundreds at Congregation B’nai Yisrael in Armonk.  Miles’ deep love for his family and friends–his absolute passion for music and poetry, and most of all, his gentle soul–were all lovingly remembered.  All of us here at Inside Armonk also offer our utmost condolences to the Applebaum family during this difficult period.

– Grace

Also see “When It’s Personal: a Dad Speaks out on the Loss of his Son” by Chappaqua’s Richard Klein.

—-

Resources & References

If you know someone is in 
immediate danger of hurting themselves or others, call 911.

  • The Mental Health Association of Westchester (MHAW), whose mission is to promote mental health in Westchester County through advocacy, community education, and direct services. www.mhawestchester.org
  • The Brain & Behavior Research Foundation, committed to awarding grants that will lead to advances and breakthroughs in scientific research. 
www.bbrfoundation.org

When It’s Personal: a Dad Speaks out on the Loss of his Son

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Our son, our gift, Jeff Klein.
Our son, our gift, Jeff Klein.

By Rich Klein

We are the typical Westchester family who moved up from the city 27 years ago, raised three beautiful sons, and loved them with our whole hearts. If someone told me I would one day lose a child to suicide, I would have laughed and said there was zero chance of that ever happening. My wife, Carey, and I were going to be the best, most devoted, loving parents a child could ever ask for.

And, apparently, we were. On November 9, 2010, our firstborn son, Jeff, at 23 ½ years of age, began his suicide note to us by writing:

“You were the best parents a son could ever ask for.”

When people from town learned of Jeff’s death, a good friend told me that many were frightened because they felt if this could happen to our family, it could happen to anyone’s.

They say love conquers all, but love was powerless in preventing the catastrophic chemical reaction that occurred inside Jeff’s body and mind after ingesting his first antidepressant recklessly prescribed by a local psychiatrist after one 45-minute introductory session. Eight days later, Jeff confided to Carey he was having “bad thoughts.” Two months in and two more antidepressants added, he was dead.

Jeff’s life came crashing down with terrifying speed. On July 4th weekend in 2010, Jeff partied with his best friends in Newport and was on top of the world. After graduating from Middlebury College in 2009, he worked as a paralegal at a major New York law firm. He spent weekends in Manhattan with his amazing friends and had an adoring family at home. He was also writing his own sports blog, Talkin’ Sports. Life was more than good. In fact, the first seven months of 2010 were arguably among the best in his life. Four months later, instead of being on top of the world, Jeff was on top of the Bear Mountain Bridge. He jumped to his death.

The chronology of events leading to his demise is clear. He was assigned to a high-profile case in late July. When the attorneys heartlessly demanded he return to work one night, despite knowing he was attending his Aunt’s wake, Jeff’s outlook turned sour. Over the following weeks, his hours increased. The pressure mounted. Unable to withstand it for another second, Jeff walked out on the job without warning in mid-August. He was deeply shaken but okay and prepared to take
 a step back and regroup.

Jeff thought it might be a good idea, however, to see a psychiatrist to determine if antidepressants might help take the edge off. Instead, the meds were debilitating. By mid-October, Jeff wanted to stop taking them. Given his adverse reaction, we were advised he should be carefully weaned off under medical supervision. When that process ended on October 26th, I made an egregious error that will haunt me for the rest of my life.

On October 27th, I went to work…like it was another ordinary day. I drove to the station, took the 7:22 train, and went about my day.

Jeff needed to be taken far away from his environment, and I was the guy who needed to take him. Instead of going to work that day, had I told Jeff to pack his bags, we’re heading to a beach in Florida to rejuvenate and devise a plan of attack, there’s not a doubt in my mind my son would be alive and thriving today. Jeff would have returned with a clear head, rejuvenated spirit, sense of purpose, and a plan. I live this illusory week in my mind repeatedly and wrote about it extensively in my blog. In late October, Jeff was completely salvageable, and I blew a golden opportunity to save him.

I hope to enlighten others struggling with these issues by sharing how I’ve coped over these last four years. The answer begins with my wife, Carey. The loving, impenetrable bond we’ve formed over 29 years of marriage has sustained us. We’ve drawn great strength and love from our boys Drew and Brett, who are 23 and 20 respectively. I don’t know how we could have recovered were Jeff our only child. Drew and Brett have been strong, resilient, and tolerant of my manifestations of post-traumatic stress disorder.

My greatest fear, in the aftermath of this tragedy was that people would forget my precious son who died such a senseless death. One of Jeff’s friends, Elon Rubin, created the Kleinsaucer blog to serve as an eternal repository for friends to share their memories of him. After Jeff’s friends authored the initial posts on the blog, I decided to give it a crack and write my own entry. I haven’t stopped writing since.

www.kleinsaucer.wordpress.com

At first, I wrote for purely selfish reasons. Writing became an effective form of therapy. I could unleash my raging emotions and ensure that, for at least the time it took someone to read a blog post, people were thinking of Jeff.

To further preserve Jeff’s memory, I created a Facebook page, Friends of Jeff Klein, where I share my new blog entries. The group has over 600 members and has become an online support group for me while also raising awareness for suicide prevention. The incredibly kind, encouraging messages from group members have lifted me up during my lowest moments.

I will never again have complete serenity in my life, but I have regained my ability to enjoy things. I get pumped when I win tough tennis league matches or go see the Knicks with Drew and Brett. I enjoy my evenings out with Carey more than ever. Before Jeff’s passing, Carey and I loved to dance. After his death, we avoided events with dance floors, but I reminded myself that Jeff loved us and would want nothing more for us than to be happy again. Carey and I finally danced again at our nephew’s wedding in 2013. That dance was a symbolic milestone in our recovery, and we no longer fear the music.

There are a few takeaways here. 
Tune in to the emotional health of your kids, especially through the pressures of high school and college when they spend more time with friends and less with you. Talk openly about their issues. Treat the decision to take antidepressants seriously, and consider their potentially life-threatening side effects. And, think twice before heading to work when your child is struggling. It could be a crucial, lifesaving decision.

Rich Klein is a Chappaqua resident and a Managing Director at Bank of America Merrill Lynch. To read his moving blogs about his son, Jeff, go to www.kleinsaucer.wordpress.com and join his Facebook page, Friends of Jeff Klein.

 

The Gift of Time in Armonk

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By Heather Skolnick

As the holidays are rapidly approaching, the thing that keeps me up at night (after the child who had a nightmare, the kitchen I didn’t clean, the work I opted not to do, the dog who didn’t get walked and the husband I neglected, that is) is finding the perfect gift for everyone on my list. I create a spreadsheet on Google docs so I can access it wherever I might be, and start brainstorming. I add and edit as the holidays approach. Come mid-November, I ask for ideas for those for whom I have voids, try to think creatively and leverage suggestions from friends and peers. All to try to find the “perfect” gift! But what if holiday gifts were really about something more than the kind of present you can stick in a gift bag?

Heather Brill and Nicole Meyer share friendship and fun at a previous Paint Nite event.
Heather Brill and Nicole Meyer share friendship and fun at a previous Paint Nite event.

The Gift of Time is a gift we should all consider giving and asking for in return. For starters, we all know how important Date Night is. But how often do we really do it? Speaking for myself, I have the best intentions–it just rarely happens. Fatigue, lack of planning and babysitter availability are all variables that inevitably lead to date night getting cancelled. Investing in our own relationships is the best way to ensure they flourish and grow and don’t get mired down by the challenges of everyday life. Armonk psychologist, Dr. Judith Adamo said, “In the hustle and bustle of everyday life, spending time with a significant other can have the same effect as going on vacation. During such times, enjoying the intimacy of laughter, for example, allows for the release of emotion that is both freeing and cleansing.” Armonk husband and wife Jordan and Tahlia Bliss agree, and have made it part of their routine. Tahlia said, “Life is so hectic sometimes. Jordan’s work schedule can be overwhelming, and three children under six is not easy either. Date night is our time to reconnect, to remember what got us to where we are and to remind us how much we love each other.”

And what about the kids? Certainly kids will still ask for the latest iPad, toy or clothing item. And this is not to say that children shouldn’t get presents because the joy of watching a child open up the gift they’ve been asking for is priceless. But perhaps it’s a balance. Because in two years, the iPad will be out of date (or shattered…), the toy forgotten and the trendy clothing will be long outgrown. Quality one-on-one time we invest in our children will be remembered forever. What if instead of gifting a new arts and crafts set, I took my daughter to the Crayola factory? She would be in heaven. And having one-on-one time with me, without the distraction of her two younger brothers, would be something extra special for her. Pleasantville based Licensed Clinical Social Worker Jill Touitou says, “One-on-one time with your kids is the best gift you can give them. Spending quality time together, without distractions, encourages the development of a special and trusting relationship and is a gift that cannot be equaled by tangible presents.” Even the internet agrees. My Facebook feed is filled with posts about “gifting” memories for your children. There’s even a Pinterest site dedicated to it!

Jordan and Tahlia Bliss enjoying date night.
Jordan and Tahlia Bliss enjoying date night.

The time concept gift extends beyond family to our friends too. My good friend and Thornwood resident Nicole Meyer decided this year on something different for the holidays. Instead of traditional gifts wrapped up with a bow, she is treating her close friends to a Paint Nite event. We will get to spend time together and catch up, while creating a painting masterpiece of sorts. The painting activity is actually incidental; it’s all about the time together with friends. As Nicole explained, “Instead of the same old holiday gift, I would rather spend time with people I love and that love me… an occasion to have some fun, be creative and share a laugh!”

Just as important, if not the most important, is alone time. Ask the average Armonk  adult what they want most and the answer will likely be something like time for a manicure or time to watch football. In both cases, it’s not really about the manicure or the football game, but just time for oneself. For me, that’s my dog walking time. I get my alone time and my pup gets a little love too. For our time crunched, overscheduled generation, it’s vital that we remember to give ourselves a gift, too!

Heather Skolnick, her husband and three kids have been New Castle residents for eight years. Heather works for a major retailer, helping them design and implement their Omnichannel Strategy. When she isn’t doing that, she is spending quality time with her family.

 

The Crafting of Armonk’s Annual Outdoor Art Show

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Volunteers for the Armonk Outdoor Art Show came together on June 5th for a kick-off party celebrating the Show’s 53rd year. The Show is run by some 300 volunteers, many planning and working year-round to ensure its success. Mike Dardano Photo
Volunteers for the Armonk Outdoor Art Show came together on June 5th for a kick-off party celebrating the Show’s 53rd year. The Show is run by some 300 volunteers, many planning and working year-round to ensure its success. Mike Dardano Photo

By Vicki de Vries

Now in its 53rd year, the Armonk Outdoor Art Show has grown from its modest start with a few artists on the lawn of the Armonk Methodist Church to what Sunshine Artist Magazine, a nationally recognized magazine for artists, ranks as one of the New York Metro area’s top “fine art and design” shows. Going further afield, The Art Fair Sourcebook ranks the Show in the top 10% of art shows in the country!

With a crowd size of 8,000 and a spectacular gathering of 185 juried artists at Community Field, the Show has, indeed, become a phenomenon. Come September 20th – 21st, serious collectors and aficionados alike will wend their way around booths filled with artists displaying their fine art and fine crafts. But what makes the Show a true work of (he) art is its well- balanced combination of purpose, people and passion.

The Show’s raison d’etre is to raise money for the North Castle Public Library and its Whippoorwill Theater. In the past two years alone, over $260,000 has been raised for new technology, programming, education and entertainment projects, as well as for necessary infrastructure repairs and renovation.

Matthew Horner Sculpture Keene, NY Second Place Prize 2013. First Place Prize 2012. Ilene Africk Photo
Matthew Horner Sculpture Keene, NY Second Place Prize 2013. First Place Prize 2012. Ilene Africk Photo

Given the Show’s remarkable history and growth, Inside Armonk went behind the scenes to glean insights into its success story. Attendees, aka “patrons,” and artists had a lot to share.

The Sounds of 
Success

“People who aren’t familiar with the Show might think it’s a run-of-the-mill sidewalk art fair, but it’s far from that,” said Doug Borisky, who lives in Manhattan and makes the easy drive to attend the Show with his sister, a resident of the town of Millwood. “It’s a world-class art show!”

Fern Satin, who lives in White Plains, said, “I attend a lot of art shows, and without question, the Armonk show’s art vendors are superior to those in most of the other shows. I can always count on a nice mix of paintings, photography, and wearable art that is top quality.”

Chappaqua residents Paul and Barbara Jenkel appreciate their proximity to such a top-rated show, as well as “the diversity of the work that the artists present…. the Show is an interesting and fun event that we really look forward to each year!”

Clearly, these patrons deem the Armonk Outdoor Art Show a roaring success or they wouldn’t return year after year. But how do the artists themselves feel about it?

Watercolorist Rosalind Oesterle, who has won several awards over 30 years of being in the Show, said, “It’s really evolved into an unqualified success…in my opion, the Show only gets better and better!”

Peyton Higgison Mixed Media Brunswick, ME. Ilene Africk Photo
Peyton Higgison Mixed Media Brunswick, ME. Ilene Africk Photo

Prize-winning stone sculptor Matt Horner, a relative newcomer, echoes Oesterle, “It’s a quality show, well organized and seamless. All the work is excellent!”

Two other prize-winning artists, Hetty and Norman Metzger have returned every year since 2007 for good reason: “The organizers maintain a high standard and manage the Show very well,” said Hetty, who appreciates that “the patrons appreciate what we do and… are very art aware.” “Artists have to have a positive experience to participate in a show,” added Norman. “I don’t think we’ve ever seen such a long-term dedication to making things right for the people in the community, for the artists and for the patrons.”

So, exactly what is it about the dedication that has garnered such noteworthy praise?

Mastering the Art of Success

Five main co-chairs collaborate on all the aspects of the Show and work with over 300 volunteers including co-chairs of around 20 committees. Among the dedicated volunteers are members of the Friends of North Castle Library and current or past members of its Board. Everyone takes his or her responsibility seriously–from pouring coffee to running a food booth or the information kiosk and all the tasks in between.

Robert Hessler Clay Kingston, NY Best in Show 2013, Second Place Prize 2012.
Robert Hessler Clay Kingston, NY Best in Show 2013, Second Place Prize 2012.

“Planning for the Show is year round, “ said Stacy Wilder, the PR and marketing co-chair for the past five years. “When one show ends, the wheels start turning for the next year’s event.” Wilder utilizes social media, a variety of newspapers, New York radio spots and artist publications to reach the broadest audience possible.

“From the merchants’ and the realtor’s point of view, the Art Show is a great boon to the area,” said Marian Hamilton, co-chair in charge of corporate sponsorships since 2001. “It takes a lot of work to make a successful art show, but we have a lot of fun!”

Co-chair Debbie Heidecorn handles the budget and oversees the food, entrance/exit, and information kiosk committees. She credits the Show’s success to “all the people that come together as volunteers” and the “wonderful support from the Armonk Town Square.” Also serving as president of the Friends group, which sponsors the Show, Debbie said she “would love for younger people to get involved with the Show and eventually assume positions of leadership.”

Another co-chair ,David Africk, oversees parking, setting up booths, renting the Porta-johns, golf carts, big tents and chairs, and making sure the electricity and water are in full supply. Africk expresses the prevailing attitude: “I enjoy what I do and try to do it well.”

Ava Zukowsky, the most recent co-chair, is taking outgoing co-chair Stan Herman’s place. As “co-chair in training,” she said: “The Art Show is an extraordinary effort by volunteers, Board members, committee chairs and our business partners. It’s an opportunity for Armonk and North Castle to shine.”

The sine qua non of the Show, of course, consists of the artists and the awards. To ensure top quality art, there is the 14-person Jury Committee, composed of artists, designers, photographers, teachers and other professionals, while the two-person Judges Committee appoints three judges to evaluate the artists’ work.

Meeting twice a week from March to May, the jurors select artists for each of the eight categories: printmaking/drawing/pastels; oils/acrylics; photography/digital art; sculpture; watercolors; mixed media; fine crafts; and wearable art. This year, they reviewed over 300 artist applications, but accepted only 185, underscoring the Show’s extreme competitiveness.

Wearable Art (Jewelry) Great Neck, NY First Place Prize 2012.
Wearable Art (Jewelry) Great Neck, NY First Place Prize 2012.

Juror Judy Moniz is thrilled with the way the Show has evolved: “In the beginning, most of the artists were from Westchester and Fairfield County, Connecticut; but over the years, the Show has attracted artists from all over the country.” Besides evaluating an artist’s work, “we spend a lot of time talking about the art.”

Juror Susan Geffen, who also co-chairs the Raffle Booth, said, “It’s a lot of work, but it’s enjoyable, and the Show has put Armonk on the map!”

During the year, co-chairs of the Judges Committee, Jane Cahn and Phyllis Lashins recruit three new judges that must be professionally involved in the art scene as artists, photographers, art critics or art historians/curators. On day one of the Show, the judges score and discuss each artist’s work to determine the winners’ list, which includes Best of Show, along with First, Second and Third Place and Honorable Mention in each of the eight categories.

“Phyllis and I also prepare the award ribbons for the winners and give the judges an honorarium,” said Cahn. Their last task is to give the Art Show co-chairs the coveted award ribbons to hand out on the second morning of the Show.

Strokes of Genius

Jack McLean Sculpture Johnsburg, IL. Honorable Mention 2013.
Jack McLean Sculpture Johnsburg, IL. Honorable Mention 2013.

Clearly, hard work contributes to the Show’s stellar reputation, but so does the special pride the volunteers take in making attendees and artists as comfortable as possible. One touch of TLC includes giving the artists a goodie bag with snacks and water upon their departure from the Show. Another form of TLC is offering a host of eclectic selections at the Food Court–from the ubiquitous hotdogs to David Chang’s fare (think: Momofuku restaurateur).

Families appreciate special activities geared to children, including a scavenger hunt. Debbie Bernstein, who first began attending the Art Show 17 years ago, said, “When my children were in school, they enjoyed the arts-and-crafts tent and the juried high-school art exhibit.”

And attendees with a decorating need can work with either an onsite interior designer or personal shoppers, all equipped to help lend an experienced hand.

Nothing has been left to chance, not even the whimsical artwork that graces the walls of the Porta-johns, courtesy of long-time volunteer Susan Geffen, an interior designer by trade.

“Sometimes Susan uses pretty photos,” said Co-Chair Marian Hamilton, “but one year, she really amused all of us by putting up nicely mounted pictures of skunks. Another year, it was playing cards shaped into a royal flush fan and framed for each unit.” It’s the little touches that count in life and no less in an art show, but they take conscious effort, sensitivity, passion and good humor–the essentials of this Show of genius.

Andrew Sovjani Photography Conway, MA Second Place Prize 2013. Honorable Mention 2012. Ilene Africk Photo
Andrew Sovjani Photography Conway, MA Second Place Prize 2013. Honorable Mention 2012. Ilene Africk Photo

While everything seems to run effortlessly at the Armonk Outdoor Art Show, the inside story reveals levels of concerted effort and fine attention to detail that, in and of themselves, are quite remarkable.

Indeed, “many hands make light work,” or as Stacy Wilder framed it for Armonk, “The Art Show is a great example of how an entire village–residents, businesses and municipal workers–can come together to make something great happen.” And to think that it’s all for a worthy cause!

Vicki de Vries is a freelance writer/editor and educator who hopes the entire county makes a pilgrimage to the Armonk Outdoor Art Show this year.

 

Samuel Yao Fine Crafts Ann Arbor, MI Second Place Prize 2013. First Place Prize 2012.
Samuel Yao Fine Crafts Ann Arbor, MI Second Place Prize 2013. First Place Prize 2012.

Embracing the Spirit of Acceptance

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Celebrating the Jewish New Year and Religious Tolerance

By Deborah Notis

For many, fall is a time of renewal. This is certainly true for Jewish people, as they welcome the New Year, celebrate the harvest, and begin a new cycle of reading the sacred Torah every fall. It’s also a time to recognize and appreciate Armonk, where everyone has the freedom to worship as they please without prejudice.

(L-R) Rabbi Mark Sameth, Rabbi Jonathan Jaffe, Rabbi Aaron Brusso and Rav Shoshanna Mitrani-Knapp.
(L-R) Rabbi Mark Sameth, Rabbi Jonathan Jaffe, Rabbi Aaron Brusso and Rav Shoshanna Mitrani-Knapp.

Overall, Americans are “benefitting from a marked increase in religious tolerance,” says Rabbi Mark Sameth of Pleasantville Community Synagogue. Rabbi Sameth cites a 2013 study at Rice University which “showed a ‘substantial jump in the proportion of Americans who view all religions with equal respect.’”

According to Rabbi Jonathan Jaffe, the new senior Rabbi at Chappaqua’s Temple Beth El, religous tolerance is something inherent in Judaism. “The Torah does not begin with the story of the Jewish people but rather with all humanity.” Judaism, at its roots, teaches religious tolerance.

Rosh Hashanah, the Jewish New Year, marks a time of renewal and hope within the Jewish community. With the blowing of the Shofar at the end of the holiday, Jewish people pray that the Messiah will arrive in the New Year. Ten days after Rosh Hashanah is Yom Kippur, the Day of Atonement, and the most somber day on the Jewish calendar.

Sukkot, which follows Yom Kippur and lasts seven days, is one of the most festive Jewish holidays. With large celebrations under the traditional ‘Sukkah’, or shelter, built and decorated with poles, tree branches, and hanging fruit, Jewish people pray for a bountiful harvest. According to Rabbi Jason Nevarez of Bedford’s Temple Shaaray Tefila, “Sukkot is a joyous occasion. Shaaray hosts a big barbeque with special music and an outdoor service under the Sukkah. It’s a lot of fun.”

Sukkot is followed by Simchat Torah, during which Jews rejoice in completing another cycle of Torah reading. Simchat Torah celebrations are like a huge party, complete with singing, dancing and bountiful feasts.

Rabbi Aaron Brusso of Mt. Kisco’s Bet Torah Synagogue notes, “We do seven circlings on Simchat Torah. The final circling takes place in the temple’s parking lot, and anyone passing by can feel the joy.”

Bearing Witness

To promote religious tolerance, Rabbi Brusso teams up with Catholic leaders every summer to participate in the Anti-Defamation League’s Bearing Witness program. According to Rabbi Brusso, this program has helped him to develop an even deeper “respect for and understanding of Catholicism.” Ultimately, an increasing familiarity with different religions enables people to achieve a greater level of respect for diverse religious and spiritual beliefs.

While Jews in our area can celebrate the holidays in relative peace, nationwide anti-Semitism is still an all-too-frequent occurrence. The Anti-Defamation League noted that incidents of violent anti-Semitic assaults increased in 2013. In April 2014, before the Jewish holiday of Passover, a 73-year-old white supremacist with a long resume of anti-Semitic acts opened fire outside Jewish centers around Kansas City. Closer to home, Greenburgh Fire Chief Anthony LoGiudice was accused of making anti-Semitic slurs about the town supervisor, Paul J. Feiner. And our neighboring town of Chappaqua has not been immune to acts of anti-Semitism, with a recent incident at Seven Bridges Middle School. Despite these issues, Rabbi Nevarez feels that “this area is a wonderful place to raise a Jewish family.”

Rav Shoshana Mitrani-Knapp, who offers High Holiday services to Jews without shuls, notes that the Jewish holidays also “remind us that we are not on this journey alone.”

Part of what makes this area a great place to practice Judaism is our community’s respect for all religions. When North Castle was formed in the 1700s, it was considered a haven for religious tolerance. These days, the Byram Hills School district honors that history by hosting an annual “Diversity Day.”

Crittenden Middle Schools’s sixth graders meet with the different faces of the religious leaders throughout our community, including Pastors, Priests, Imams and Rabbis.

They discuss issues that might have come up within the Armonk community, and they teach children about the traditions that are important to each religious group.

Interfaith Activities Abound

Additionally, Armonk’s Congregation B’nai Yisrael and many other houses of worship team together for interfaith activities like special Thanksgiving dinners. As Congregation B’nai Yisrael’s Cantor Hayley Kobilinsky states, these events “give our community members an opportunity to respect and celebrate our differences.”

Ultimately, the Jewish Holidays season “provides the Jewish people with an opportunity to reconnect with one another and as a community with G-d,” states Rabbi Jaffe of Temple Beth El.

According to Rabbi Maura Linzer, also of Temple Beth El, from the start of Rosh Hashanah through Yom Kippur “the Jewish people are obligated to engage in the process of Chesbon Nefesh, which translates as a checking of the soul or self. We look back upon our thoughts and deeds, asking where we missed the mark of being our best self.”

shofarRabbi Sameth offered this perspective too on our community’s tolerance towards all religions. “Maybe it has to do with that fact that people…wherever they are in terms of religion, they still have spiritual longings, a need for community, a sense of purpose.” Whatever the motivation for this spirit of acceptance, it’s another reason to feel fortunate this holiday season.

Deborah Notis is a writer and a co-founder of gamechanger, LLC. She lives in Westchester with her husband and 
four sons.