By Heather Skolnick
As the holidays are rapidly approaching, the thing that keeps me up at night (after the child who had a nightmare, the kitchen I didn’t clean, the work I opted not to do, the dog who didn’t get walked and the husband I neglected, that is) is finding the perfect gift for everyone on my list. I create a spreadsheet on Google docs so I can access it wherever I might be, and start brainstorming. I add and edit as the holidays approach. Come mid-November, I ask for ideas for those for whom I have voids, try to think creatively and leverage suggestions from friends and peers. All to try to find the “perfect” gift! But what if holiday gifts were really about something more than the kind of present you can stick in a gift bag?
The Gift of Time is a gift we should all consider giving and asking for in return. For starters, we all know how important Date Night is. But how often do we really do it? Speaking for myself, I have the best intentions–it just rarely happens. Fatigue, lack of planning and babysitter availability are all variables that inevitably lead to date night getting cancelled. Investing in our own relationships is the best way to ensure they flourish and grow and don’t get mired down by the challenges of everyday life. Armonk psychologist, Dr. Judith Adamo said, “In the hustle and bustle of everyday life, spending time with a significant other can have the same effect as going on vacation. During such times, enjoying the intimacy of laughter, for example, allows for the release of emotion that is both freeing and cleansing.” Armonk husband and wife Jordan and Tahlia Bliss agree, and have made it part of their routine. Tahlia said, “Life is so hectic sometimes. Jordan’s work schedule can be overwhelming, and three children under six is not easy either. Date night is our time to reconnect, to remember what got us to where we are and to remind us how much we love each other.”
And what about the kids? Certainly kids will still ask for the latest iPad, toy or clothing item. And this is not to say that children shouldn’t get presents because the joy of watching a child open up the gift they’ve been asking for is priceless. But perhaps it’s a balance. Because in two years, the iPad will be out of date (or shattered…), the toy forgotten and the trendy clothing will be long outgrown. Quality one-on-one time we invest in our children will be remembered forever. What if instead of gifting a new arts and crafts set, I took my daughter to the Crayola factory? She would be in heaven. And having one-on-one time with me, without the distraction of her two younger brothers, would be something extra special for her. Pleasantville based Licensed Clinical Social Worker Jill Touitou says, “One-on-one time with your kids is the best gift you can give them. Spending quality time together, without distractions, encourages the development of a special and trusting relationship and is a gift that cannot be equaled by tangible presents.” Even the internet agrees. My Facebook feed is filled with posts about “gifting” memories for your children. There’s even a Pinterest site dedicated to it!
The time concept gift extends beyond family to our friends too. My good friend and Thornwood resident Nicole Meyer decided this year on something different for the holidays. Instead of traditional gifts wrapped up with a bow, she is treating her close friends to a Paint Nite event. We will get to spend time together and catch up, while creating a painting masterpiece of sorts. The painting activity is actually incidental; it’s all about the time together with friends. As Nicole explained, “Instead of the same old holiday gift, I would rather spend time with people I love and that love me… an occasion to have some fun, be creative and share a laugh!”
Just as important, if not the most important, is alone time. Ask the average Armonk adult what they want most and the answer will likely be something like time for a manicure or time to watch football. In both cases, it’s not really about the manicure or the football game, but just time for oneself. For me, that’s my dog walking time. I get my alone time and my pup gets a little love too. For our time crunched, overscheduled generation, it’s vital that we remember to give ourselves a gift, too!
Heather Skolnick, her husband and three kids have been New Castle residents for eight years. Heather works for a major retailer, helping them design and implement their Omnichannel Strategy. When she isn’t doing that, she is spending quality time with her family.
